first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[BabyForIris]

BabyForIris - Yeah, I guess it's definitely how you choose to look at it! I usually go straight for the negative so I get more frustrated each time a cycle goes by (listen to me; I've had one cycle!), but I'm really going to try to see it more positively. I mean, one thing that's true is that as long as I am physically able to have kids and I keep trying, I *am* one step closer to the BFP with every cycle. But perhaps that's like that saying that your keys are always in the last place you look... because you stop looking once you find them :$

I don't know why my reply posted twice..that's weird. And I can't delete it. Yikes. Sorry ladies. Annoying but I didn't mean to.

I'm trying so hard to be positive but the truth is with all the random symptom spotting I'm doing I'm still pretty sure it didn't happen this month. Even with OPK's, BD-ing every day from CD4 right up to CD19 which was day and day and days past O plus checking my CM I just feel like this is going to be a battle and for some reason I never for a moment thought it would be.

I literally see babies everywhere. And when it's not a baby it's someone with a baby and is pregnant. Add in this tag going around on fb where people post 3 pictures why they are happy to be moms and I might just lose it. Everyone's posting pictures the classic picture from the delivery room with their new baby and I'm sitting here going "can it be MY TURN NOW?!?!!"

I don't know what I'm getting at. I think I'm just venting. I know some people have struggled so much more on here and so many people get past it. I guess I'm just worried there's something wrong with me.

for everyone. Thanks for listening everyone.

 

[gina236]

Thanks guys. I'm a ball of nerves but I will find out today. Just really hope this is it. The lack of positive tests really scares me. Took one this morning, just a Walmart cheapie, but only a faint faint line. DH couldn't even see it. Really really hoping they will give me an ultrasound as at 7+4 I should be able to see a baby and heartbeat. Ugh so nervous. 3 hours until I leave work and head down there.

Babyforiris, I'm sorry your feeling like that. Try to relax. It's just your first month. I expected it to happen on my first month and here I am, cycle 9 and hoping it actually happened. It is totally normal. Most people conceive within a year. You gotta just wait and let it happen. And not to upset you but sometimes too much BDING can be bad. If the guy has any count issues (not even bad but just a little on the low side) it might not give them time to replenish and mature before bd'ing again. If you dtd every day try to make sure it is as close to 24 hours apart as possible. Most doctors recommend every other day to give his swimmers time to mature. Hopefully you got it this month and you can move onto being preggo!

Vel and Rex sorry the witch got you last cycle. FX for next cycle

 

[wifeybby]

Oh Gina.. I can only imagine how stressful and exciting today is for you! Half scared, half happy. I hope you get the best news possible today and see your baby with everything looking just as it should. FX for you and I can't wait to see what you say. Please update as soon as you're ready to, I'm here for you! And stay positive Any line is a BFP, and you've still got it

BabyForIris - I hope your TTC journey is a quick one, but we can all tell you now that it's one big waiting game. Waiting for AF, waiting to O, the 2WW, the symptom spotting, the BD timing.. It's all a big wait and see. Relax, and just know it takes time. Most are not successful their first few months, and it can take up to a year for a non-fertility-issue couple. You'll get your BFP! And we're all here to talk and vent and wait with you.

Hi RexMom! Long time no see. This month was a break for me too in a way. Totally missed my fertile window/O Day. But I'm having the lap done next Friday so it's all for the better. Hope you're hanging in there and staying positive

AFM, no AF yet. Expecting her today so hopefully she shows up.. Feeling crampy but I have a hard time telling if it's AF cramps or just bowels. I haven't had the day or two of vaginal dryness that I typically get before AF so I'm nervous she isn't coming. But I know that doesn't mean a BFP by far. So.. Just waiting.. And waiting..

 

[Velathria]

Baby: I know how you feel. We all do. I thought after the first two months that it would've happened too but it didnt... and now we are already at our 5th cycle ttc and still nothing.. I have a weird feeling too that it's gonna take a year for us... but I'm so happy that I ended up in this thread.. seriously ladies this is the best and most supportive thread ever. I joined a few and I just felt so ignored and here it doesnt matter if you've been apart of it since the beginning or if you are a new ttc'er.

I'm just so happy to have you guys and I really hope we all get our bfps soon .

Gina I wish you lots and lots of luck and support. I hope you get the best news today.

 

[lesondemavie]

Baby - That fear that something was wrong with us and it just would never happen was strong for me right from the start too. That fear is part of why I kept putting ttc off. Thankfully I was wrong . I thought for sure we'd get a BFP in just 3 months or less, but it took twice that. We all totally know what you're feeling, and it's there and tough no matter how long or short your ttc journey has been. So much of it is just chance (hence the fx). You're doing all you can, and the rest is (frustratingly) out of your hands.

Vel - Even though we both started in August, I have shorter cycles and was already on cycle 6 back in December. I know your time is just around the corner!

Rex - You never know when it will be your time. Fingers crossed for you!

Jez - Those stats always make me feel worse too. I prefer graphs that separated the data by age and also separated out those who were not on bcp just before ttc. Both can affect your chances...but it is nice to know that given enough time (and heartache) the vast majority of us get our BFPs naturally.

Fertile - Hope you had a good, well- deserved, cathartic pity party and are now looking forward once again with hope. Rooting for you as always!

AFM: I'm a ball of nerves and tears over here. Ah hormones!

FX and much love to all!

 

[Velathria]

Thanks les hahaha the hormones lol... what symptoms did you have btw when you were pregnant. Did you share it with us? Lol can't remember. Les you give me hope. it worked for you guys and I can't imagine why it wouldn't for us.. although it bothers me that my fiance smokes... I'm worried that that might ruin his little swimmers.. what you guys think?

I think we all expect it to go quickly and it just doesnt... and I get annoyed (can't help it lol) at the ones that get it right away.... and they are all like "omg I did not expect it..." *sarcastic laugh*

*whispers quietly* you effing ****...

Sorry lol just a little joke.. bit can't help being jealous of those women.

 

[lesondemavie]

Vel - so glad to spread some hope I feel the same way . Do you mean in the TWW? I don't think I really did share bc My BFP cycle was my least eventful tww ever! I really had zero symptoms and my temp even dipped the morning of my BFP (turned out to be a faulty thermometer). After BFNs 7-9DPO, I swore I was out. From my experience, the hpt was my first sign at 10 DPO...my temp went up and symptoms like extreme thirst and yawning constantly and then nausea at night hit the day after that at 11 DPO...so as hard as I know it is, I really caution against symptom spotting. There's just too much overlap until there's enough hcg in your system and by then you can get a BFP. Since then, I've been on a spinning wheel of pg symptoms that come and go but I've been pretty lucky that they're pretty mild. I also now caution against testing super early. I always tested starting at 7 DPO bc I just wanted to know as soon as possible. Well I found out at exactly 3 weeks and the past 5 weeks of waiting for my first scan have been tough! I guess I really would have known within the next few days anyway since my cycles are regular and just 22 days, but as hard as the tww is it was familiar and as happy as I am to be pg I still would have been no matter when I found out. My BFF didn't find out until 6 weeks so she only had to wait 1-2 weeks for her first scan and it seems like her worry of mc was way less. No matter though, still all incredibly worth it and hopefully I'll get good news tomorrow that all is progressing well.

Smoking can affect things but it shouldn't make it impossible...I still see a BFP in your near future ...and that annoyance is perfectly normal no need to apologize at all

 

[Velathria]

Yeah I thought so too. Most say they don't have symptoms until they have their bfp. That's why when I do have symptoms early on... I already think badly.. lol

I hope it doesnt ruin his little swimmers. And hopefully my bfp will come very soon. Don't want to wait any longer

 

[gina236]

Well just got home. No scan urine test came back negative which I knew it would but she sent me for blood work because she also found it odd that I've gotten positive and negative tests with no bleeding since the first positive. So got that done. She put a rush on it so I will have answers tomorrow.

Of course an intern got to take my blood so now my arm is so sore, she moved the needle in my arm and hurt something. So 2 hours of doctors later and I still have no answers but at least I know tomorrow I will have them.

 

[Velathria]

Don't let it bring you down.. with my son it came back negative on the urine test and blood test and I was still pregnant... it only came up positive another 2 weeks later. It was really weird and I had had my AF too at that time... don't let them give you some stupid pills that get your period going. .. I lost the twin because of it. I think you still are just that your hcg isn't high enough. Some women have that which is why they sometimes still get their periods.

 

[gina236]

I wouldn't let them give me anything without an ultrasound proving it. She said it definitely possible to just be negative on the urine tests but be positive on the blood tests. So I will be waiting by my phone all day tomorrow until I get a call from them. Unfortunately unless they tell me the results on an answering machine, which I doubt they will, I'll have to wait until I get out of work to call back. I don't want bad news at work because I cry every time and don't need that at work lol.

 

[Velathria]

Positive thoughts!! I bet it's good news if not they need to find out why you are having positive and negative tests.
Man I'd be flipping out if I were you xD having to wait and wait some more but I guess it'll all be worth it if it's positive.

 

[wifeybby]

Darn. Why do they play so hard to get just for a scan?! Around me they scan left and right.. That sucks. I was really hoping you'd get some answers.. Well.. like we've been saying, TTC is all waiting.. (huffs and puffs and pouts) I hope you get a great call tomorrow and can move forward! FX as hard as an be for you, love. Hang in there!

 

[wifeybby]

And PS - If your circumstances allow it, I'd turn my phone off at work. It'd be killer to see that "new voicemail or missed call" all day not knowing what they'll say. And watching the call pass on to voicemail would probably be a tense moment. I'll be thinking of you!

 

[Velathria]

Got my fingers crossed for you today gina. hope you get amazing news today. and that work goes by fast so you get the news sooner.

 

[wifeybby]

Thinking of you today!! You're going to get good news!!

 

[gina236]

No news today. It's snowing here and I just called and the office is closed because of it. Ugh. They are only open monday-Friday so now I have to wait until Monday just wanna rip my hair out. I'm so sick of waiting.

 

[gina236]

Didn't think I was going to hear about my results as I tried calling and they were closed due to snow. But I got a call from my doctor who is working at a different office today and results aren't good. And just to add insult to injury, started spotting today. Looks like I'll be miscarrying starting today or tomorrow.

 

[wifeybby]

No... I'm so incredibly sorry Gina. I wish I had more words for you, but please stay strong and don't give up. I wish I could give you a giant hug and be your shoulder to lean on. I'm so sorry..

 

[lesondemavie]

We lost the baby. It stopped growing at 6.5 weeks. I probably won't be on for a while, but I'll be back when we're ready to ttc again. All the best to all of you