Funny Things Your Child Has Said!

[Sarah lo]

Olivia and her toy rabbit came into my bedroom this morning while I was just finishing up feeding her little brother.

Olivia: "Mummy its stinky in here"
Me: "is it?" Sniff sniff "I can't smell anything, what can you smell?"
Olivia: "iiiiits RABBIT POO!"

Then she began hitting me, her brother and herself on the head with her rabbit whilst shouting "poo poo poo"

 

[Natsku]

I was in the middle of reading Maria her bedtime story last night when she suddenly declared "I love to kill!"

She really disturbs me sometimes!

 

[icklemonster]

My 17 year old cousin bought her 1st proper boyfriend round my Nan's to meet the family. Charlotte decided to climb onto the sofa, stand beside my very self-conscious 17 year old cousin and jab the 3 big acne spots on her forehead saying 'Look, Dot, Dot, Dot'

 

[m2010]

"Mum, I love you even when you say I can't have chocolate but did you know that Grandma always gives me chocolate" ...?

 

[m2010]

OH was getting ready for work last night in our bedroom and B & I were sat on the bed folding up some clothes. OH came out of our bathroom without a shirt on & Brennan turned to me and said: "Why does Daddy always have show off his nipples?"

 

[Marie000]

Ariane was listening to music on her toy phone and suddenly started sniffing at the phone and said "mmmmmmm.... music smells gooooooood!"

 

[bertamonica]

Eric (looking at my huge bump): Mommy, what is my sister doing?
Me: She is growing, and soon enough she will be big enough to come home to us. Do you want her to come home?
Eric: No, thank you!

 

[Butterfly89]

Everything my son says makes me laugh. He went from not even saying Mama at 13 months, to bursting out full sentences, and it's just hilarious. I have to give a bit of explanation... we spend a lot of time with my grandparents so he's picked up some funny older sayings that make him sound wise beyond his years lol. I can't tell how much he understands sometimes or if it's it's just coincidence but people don't believe me how funny he is til they meet him.

H: "Let's open the prano!"
Me: "Ok love, but what's a prano?"
H: *raises his hands* "Who knows?"
Me: "You're a funny guy."
H: "He's a keeper."

The other day I told him to stop throwing his Cheerios on the floor, and he replies, "But Max say he want one." Max is our dog lol.


We've been talking about super heroes a lot lately because his older cousins are very into Spiderman and Batman. He knows Spiderman "shoot webs". He mixes up Harry Potter and Captain America all the time though. We had this conversation the other day...

H: *wearing his dress up cape* Super baby! Up in sky!!! Cape man!
Me: Oh wow, super baby Cape Man is here. What are your super powers?
H: Stick out tum (tongue)... *shows me amazing trick*
Me: Amazing! What other powers do you have?
H: Make big messes.

And some randoms... "Chockit makes people happy!" (Chocolate)
"No skipping on the cat." (?)
"Get out my yard!" (Meaning leave me alone)
"Take off your shirt." (Randomly at the dinner table)

 

[Smille24]

Our 5 yr old just got a puppy for Christmas and refers to him as her baby brother. We are ttc #2 and wanted to know how she'd feel about a sibling. She said "but I have a baby brother already, it's Butterball". We asked her about a human sibling she responded "well if it's a boy, we can sell it because I don't need another brother and if it's a girl, I guess we can keep it".

 

[spicyorange]

My god son said this to me when I was newly pregnant (he didn't know)

Gs:...... if you ever had a baby, which you wont!?
Me: why do you think that?
Gs: Because your too thin

The boy likes to flatter..!

 

[marielou11]

My eldest DS (3)

Me: I'm not here just to tidy up after you!
DS: Well, what are you here for then?

"Mummy, when I get bigger I want to marry you because I love you so much"

 

[Abz1982]

On bath night.

Me" Ewey come on, bath time!"
Ewey "Butt Wash?" Whist shaking his naked butt at me..........Not sure where he got this from...

 

[Natsku]

Maria was pretending that a football was her baby today, carrying it around in a sort of sling she made. It fell out and she cried out dramatically "Oh no! My baby!"

And in the sauna we were talking about hunting and Maria said that she's going to get a gun and go shoot a moose, and then the moose won't eat her baby

 

[marielou11]

Freddie came into our bed this morning and starting to poke my belly a bit. I asked him what he was doing, his reply was "Tickling the baby!"

 

[spicyorange]

My friend works in a daily posh area nursery, where the kids have nice stable homes and good up bringing, she overheard a kid on a play phone "I've told you, you're not the dad" puts down phone. LOL

 

[BabyMamma93]

My OHs niece is so funny, but im pretty sure im gona be n trouble soon..

she has a necklace and the last time she was seen wearing it was my house, so a couple days later the necklace dissapeared, she keeps accusing me of stealing it, then when it was found in the washer she said i put it there. then she hid her handbag in her toy kitchen and said 'Muuuuum, callie pinched my hand bag'

Her new thing this week;
on monday she was at home i had seen her on sunday, she walked up to her mum and said 'mum Callie keeps smacking me' then accused my OH of shouting at her.
shes then come into work to see me today & has a bruise on her face, apparently my OH did it, she did tell her mum it was me but bcos i was there she told a different story this time..

i shouldn't laugh but how she says it is just comical

 

[Wriggley]

my 4 year old has never had that much interest in drawing... occasionally he asks to draw and I sit with him and ask him to draw me different things but he likes to 'cut corners'

so the other day I said 'draw me a snail' so he draws a swirly circle. I say 'can you draw me his head' to which he replies 'no mummy its in his shell'

 

[Natsku]

Last night, Maria was in bed but not asleep. We were listening to music in the lounge and the album ended and in that sudden moment of silence we hear Maria shout "Help me Father Christmas!"

I asked her about it today and apparently her 'baby' was dead so she needed Father Christmas to come help....

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Last night...

"Can I put the Playstation on?"
"Yes love"
"Can I watch Fireman Sam?"
"Yes chicken"
*Massive sigh* "What was the point in naming me Lucas when nobody calls me it??"

 

[Natsku]