Funny Things Your Child Has Said!

[emyandpotato]

We were leaving hospital today after my scan and a man had collapsed in reception so we had to almost step over him (doctors were attending to him, we weren't being heartless). LO looked the man up and down and went, very loudly, "he's dead". As if to say "move along now please this man is dead there is no use fussing. I have seen Dr Ranj I know what I'm talking about". He then proceeded to tell everyone who looked at him that the man was dead. The man was conscious the whole time.

And on the way home he saw a man with dwarfism and was super star struck and pointed and said "look, hobbit!". I was so embarrassed! Luckily the man was lovely and said hi to him and waved.

 

[Natsku]

How embarrassing!

 

[Wriggley]

Z: I just burped with my mouth shut and my cheeks blew up

:/

 

[m nonie]

Went for are dating scan a few days back, the midwife asked our wee man what he wanted to which he answered horse then when she said that he'd have to talk to us about a pony but want did he want the baby to be called his only reaction was neigh lol

 

[VerbingNoun]

Not sure if appropriate buuut
One day when my brother was itty bitty, we were setting up for Halloween (sort of a traditional thing we do at my grandma's.) My grandpa took a bag of candy for himself and then snatched a few more candies off the table. Then he wouldn't let us have anything. I said "grandpa you're a hoarder" and my brother replied "yeah grandpa, you're a [insert inappropriate word that starts with a W and ends with an E.]"

I started busting up. Took my mom a minute to catch on but nobody else caught what he said. Guessing he had never heard the word before but it was just unfortunate that they can sound so similar lol.

 

[wifey29]

Ŵhile getting myself dressed this morning DS1 suddenly gasped and exclaimed "wow mummy, your ninky (his word for his boy bits) is scruffy, I'll get my lawn mower!". Um, thanks for that son. I walked out of the bedroom to find DH doubled over laughing.

 

[Miss Vintage]

I was telling my son I didn't want to go to work this morning, and said 'boo and hiss'. He repeated this as 'booze and kiss'. Takes after his father, that one.

 

[Mysunshine]

It's actually not something my older son has said but still pretty funny! My son is 3.5 years old. My friend was visiting us, and DS came out and shooted that friend with a finger. He shooted back with his finger in return. And then DS fell down so naturally, like he had just been shot!

 

[threebirds]

My wee man isnt chatting yet but here's a favourite of mine about my niece. Sometimes it's not what they say but what they hear that stay with us

A few of the family were sitting in a room when someone said close the door there's a terrible draught in the hall. The poor wee thing looked terrified and concerned - she thought we'd said they was a terrible giraffe in the hall! (she was reassured there wasn't)

 

[Marie000]

My little girl usually has good pronunciation but this morning she kept telling me she wanted to "eat a dentist" I asked her "you want to eat a dentist?" and she said yes. I still have no clue what she meant.

 

[Natsku]

4 year old logic - Maria knows that if she doesn't drink enough it will hurt when she does a wee. Well this evening, she was doing a poo and said 'My big bum hurts. I haven't eaten enough!"

 

[x__amour]

DD said to me while walking through the "female needs" aisle in the store (quite loudly!), "Mommy? Do you need more pillows for when you are bleeding?"

 

[Sarah lo]

DD said to me while walking through the "female needs" aisle in the store (quite loudly!), "Mommy? Do you need more pillows for when you are bleeding?"

Could be worse though, a couple of weeks ago we were in the swimming pool changing room when my daughter very loudly asked me if I was going to put my nappy on for when my bum is bleeding. When I didn't answer (due to being left speechless by the original question), she proceeded to repeat the question two or three more times.

 

[x__amour]

DD said to me while walking through the "female needs" aisle in the store (quite loudly!), "Mommy? Do you need more pillows for when you are bleeding?"

Could be worse though, a couple of weeks ago we were in the swimming pool changing room when my daughter very loudly asked me if I was going to put my nappy on for when my bum is bleeding. When I didn't answer (due to being left speechless by the original question), she proceeded to repeat the question two or three more times.

Omg!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Haha!

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Putting coconut oil on Lucas's bum cheek eczema the other night and I told him to pull his pants back up.
"Please you pull them up, I don't want to"
"Lucas just do it they're your pants"
"But you bought them!"

 

[Wriggley]

Yesterday my 4 year old son noticed his skateboard teacher has got her tongue pierced

Z: what's that on your tongue
*she shows him the piercing*
Z: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW that's DISGUSTING!!!!!! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

 

[BabyMamma93]

My auntie had my cousin over night a few years back, she woke up and took her pill, he was at the age where he will not give up till he knows and understands what they are, so he asked her 'what is that your eating'
'oh they are my sweets i need to have one every morning' 'well can i have one of your sweets' 'no these sweets are just for grown up girls' so later on that day he phoned his mum for a chat when he said 'mummy you do know Kelly is on drugs dont you? she has sweets on a morning just for grown ups' it was soo funny, but not funny at the same time

 

[Aphrodite]

There's a boy jack goes to pre school with who is exceptionally tall for his age. My jack said, he must have had loads of birthdays because he just keeps growing and growing!!

 

[Butterfly89]

I can't stop laughing at these posts!!

Yesterday my son told me at dinner (we were having tuna melts on crumpets which he usually loves) "Can't eat it." And I asked him why. He replies "It swears at me." Haha oh goodness. The reason he even knows what swearing is would be the lovely TV. His dad decided to tell him "don't say that, don't swear" but I think ignoring it is more helpful at 2 lol!