Funny Things Your Child Has Said!

[Phantom]

My 2 year old likes to name every item as we place it on the conveyer belt at the grocery store. So as usual we put each item on he names it: "pizza, macaroni and cheese, grapes, milk..." until we get to the special laxative medication his doctor has told us to give him for a few months, and he says "poop". I could not stop laughing!

 

[Foogirl]

My 2 year old likes to name every item as we place it on the conveyer belt at the grocery store. So as usual we put each item on he names it: "pizza, macaroni and cheese, grapes, milk..." until we get to the special laxative medication his doctor has told us to give him for a few months, and he says "poop". I could not stop laughing!

 

[proudparent88]

My 2 year old likes to name every item as we place it on the conveyer belt at the grocery store. So as usual we put each item on he names it: "pizza, macaroni and cheese, grapes, milk..." until we get to the special laxative medication his doctor has told us to give him for a few months, and he says "poop". I could not stop laughing!

Today I was playing with my two year old and I was tickling him well he always tells me where to tickle but today he came out of nowhere with something I didn't expect which went like this as he lifts his legs over his head he says to me "Tickle my booty." I couldn't help but laugh and told him no I wasn't going to tickle his booty didn't have any idea where that one came from!

 

[Natsku]

Maria asked my OH last night "who are you doing?" She gets a bit confused with her Finnish so I think she meant to ask "what are you doing?" but it made me crack up laughing and she looked so confused.

 

[Gemmamuk]

My son has been bang on form this weekend!!

He stayed with SIL for 5 nights at the beginning of last week while I was in hospital having a baby. I think she has been teaching/playing money with him.
I had a load of change on the top and he was handing them to me saying 'one, two' for the pennies and tuppanes. I was shocked he knew them, as I'd never let him handle coins, but thought it could be lucky guesses. I said 'Alex, here - do you want them back?'.
And he replied with 'no I want the pounds!' Ha ha!!!!!!!

I tucked Alex up in bed for his nap Saturday afternoon, and he said 'night night mummy, I love you. And I love biscuits!'

Alex came and got in my bath Saturday night and was playing with his toys. He turned round and started telling me he has a willy, looked down and asked me where mine was!! Ha ha!!

 

[Dragonfly]

"he wants to be like an asshole, its like a person only hes an asshole"

William.

 

[Cassie123]

We were watching the rugby and OH shouted "get in" at the screen. LO decided to start shouting at the screen too. She got a little confused and shouted "get out" and "come in" really emphatically for the rest of the game.

 

[BabyMamma93]

I was at my OH's grans the other day, my OH's little brother is almost 3 and was having a nappy put on after been to the toilet, so before his auntie put the nappy over his front he shouted 'my todge is sticking up' in the cutest most casual voice ever, his auntie then replied 'well put it down then i dont want to touch it' of corse the whole room was laughing at him he stood up hid his face and said 'its really not funny' ohh it was and will be a good embarrassing story to tell when hes older!!

 

[AngelofTroy]

Micah pulled daddy's hair yesterday, OH said "Don't pull hair! What do you say to daddy", and Micah replied in song… "pull, pull, clap clap clap!"

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Whilst trying (and failing) to put on and stand in my high heels.

"This is bullshit"

 

[WhisperGirl]

When my friend was a toddler she went to her grandmothers for a party. Went upstairs to the toilet with the granny, came back down to the room full of people and announced 'granny has a beard on her bum!'

Not one of mine, but too good not to mention

 

[MrsFlong]

Daughter is 5 years old ans is always making us laugh.

DD: Mummy can i have some warer please?
ME: DD, there is a T in water
DD: No mummy there is water in tea!

also OH farted the other day and DD turns to him and goes: Dad what died in your bum?

 

[Natsku]

Maria: Mummy, poop!
Me: Where? (thinking the cat had done a poo somewhere)
Maria: In my bum! You have to take it out and put it in the toilet!

 

[MelliPaige]

My mom threw a meet baby party for me, and my niece, cali, and 4 month old nephew peaked in at him..

Me - "this is your baby cousin, Leo"
Cali - "oh I brought my baby, too! Him name Brayden"

Later...

Cali - "where you goin?"
Me - "to the potty"
Cali - "dont close the door! I need to watch youuuuuuu!"

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

My middle one, Violet, is a bit of a crackpot and most of the time what she has to say makes no sense lol. Here's a few examples:

"Sit down Ya-Ya (Arthur) and I'll make a cup of tea" (they were in the bath)

"I'm a princess girl, Thora's a princess boy" :/

"Mummy, daddy said my toes will come off"
Me: (completely perplexed) "what, Violet?"
Daddy: (popping his head out the kitchen) "no Violet I said your toast is done"

During some pretty spectacularly bad parking by me at Asda, Violet said: "oh dear mummy try again" cheeky little mare!!

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

oh god and this one:

right in front of an old mad that looked absolutely horrified "mummy I want to save my poo"

And this little exchange to her father: Violet: "Daddy I don't like boys, I want to play with the girls".
Daddy: "Good!"
Violet: "Daddy I can't wipe my willy"
Daddy: " you don't have one violet"
Violet: "ohhh I want one"

 

[BabyMamma93]

HAHAHA your Violet sounds a funny little girl, i bet she keeps you entertained x

 

[Sarah lo]

Olivia has developed a fear of worms after she found one in the garden a few weeks ago. She often refuses to leave the house unless we carry her past where the worm was so we've started telling her that the worms have all gone and that Daddy got rid of them all.

So it was no real surprise when Olivia started shouting at the top of her voice "Daddy's got worms, Daddy's got worms!" in the supermarket today

 

[MommyJogger]

I finally have one! My son has recently discovered "Kix" cereal. His pronunciation is getting much better lately, but his beginning consonants aren't good at all. We went to the supermarket today and I picked up a box and he put it in the cart for me, then proceeded to repeat "More dick!" at the top of his lungs for the rest of the trip in various tones from thrilled to confused to incredibly upset.

 

[Natsku]

^^^^


I was getting ready to go out to poker last night and Maria started to get upset, telling me not to go. Until OH told her that he was going to take her out for a sledge ride, and then when they come back in, have an ice lolly and hot chocolate. At that point she was practically pushing me out of the door saying "Go mummy! Go!"