General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Yeah, I think with any issue you can find examples of all sides and all extremes. I know guys who have flashed me d* picks and then I know guys who propose to their girlfriends in Italy and Paris after months of planning. Just depends. There are states that screw men over in court and some that think fixing the problem is by turning the complete opposite way and giving men rights they haven’t earned/ deserve at the expense and safety of others *cough*CA*cough* lol

CB I agree it’s weeks from O so a 3+ reading is 5 weeks + which is just where you are at, and they are so unreliable lol. Try not to stress. Hugs. And fun fact my gyn said the fertilized egg does produce hcg it’s just sooooo minuscule it wouldn’t catch on a hpt or blood test.

Gigs I worry, too. Every time I go downstairs when A is sleeping, I am scared I’ll fall and die and then nobody else lives here so A will cry so hard he suffocates and dies or gets so stressed his heart can’t take it and dies. It’s depressing. Only time I am glad I have shared walls and nosey neighbors haha.

Shae yeah idk. You’ll figure it out when the time comes. It’ll work out.

BDB you are not a failure! We all forget things. In the grand scheme of life, I doubt DD is going to be 27 yelling at you because she wasn’t in the picture for that recital. Hugs. Hope DS feels better. Will you be sharing your scan pic? Parenting is hard and you are doing fantastic.

PL lol I like your mentality.

Fluek sounds like a good deal! So happy for you!

AFM I must be in a bad mood, I am picking fights with EVERYONE today. Lots of conversations on FB ending with out of respect for our mutual friend I’m editing or deleting or just not going to say what I want lol.

I put in a transfer at work and my parents are making me feel bad about it. I love my job and my boss is amazing. She really stuck out for me this year. But I hate the team I’m going to be on next year, I wanted to go down to 1st and she said no, and I have to move rooms… meanwhile one of the higher performing schools (that I had intended on transferring to after a few years in the district anyway) has an opening. There’s no guarantee of getting it, but I did put in the request. So now my parents think I’m disloyal and that I won’t get it and she’ll find out and I’m screwed. But my other fear is that the longer I stay at this school, the harder it will be to transfer to one of the two I want to be at because we’re so underperforming. Idk I just know I feel like crap so even though I gained 5lbs I’m going to drown my sorrows in cookies,

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and A now says dad when he babbles but does nothing remotely close to any variation of Mom. And my friends kid has been saying Mom since she was 8 months

 

[Jezika]

Tough decisions there Dobs. Hopefully it’ll work out for the best. And Tilly said mamamama when she was very small (babbling) and then dropped it completely till a few months ago and had only been saying Dadda. My friends’ 19-month-old says Dad but still doesn’t say Mum or Mama.

Yikes Shae and Flueks re: sleep deprivation. Hope you get to catch up on it soon. Shae why are you going to sleep so late?

Re: men’s stuff I totally agree in some ways it’s tipped too far in the other direction. I have a couple of acquaintances who rip men a new hole on dating apps just for even mentioning anything even remotely complimentary about them physically or if they don’t agree with their very, very specific brand of feminism. I also know plenty of men who hold misogynistic views. I don’t condone making jokes about men that would be inappropriate if they were about women, partly because I don’t find them funny, but I do think the reason that discrepancy exists is because of cultural/historical context. Of course men are treated badly in many ways, but when it comes to inequality/oppression and rates of actual sexual assault, women have been disproportionately the victims by a long shot, so when someone jokes that a man could do the job if two women, well, it’s not so long ago that women weren’t allowed to work or to even vote because they weren’t considered intellectual enough. The same joke in the reverse does not have the same context because men have never been excluded in that way. But again, I don’t personally find such jabs funny... though I admit I catch myself making many generalizations about men... but I swear they’re true! Anyway, don’t want to lure anyone further into a debate of course (though I love a healthy, civil debate) but I do find this topic interesting. Lately I’ve reflected on how I feel about the whole #metoo thing and to what extent I actually feel the way I feel about my own past experiences with sexual harrassmenr because of how I think I *should* feel or because how I actually felt... and, in the instances of the latter, whether how I actually felt was serving more of a protective function.

Anyway wow sorry, no one cares about my thesis and omg it’s 2:11am yikes

 

[shaescott]

Gigs- you’re totally right about men also being discriminated against. It’s historically been women who’ve dealt with the brunt of it, but extremist feminism (aka fake feminism) has led to the issues you mentioned that men deal with now, including lack of legal rights with children (though that’s rooted in believing women are nurturers and men are workers I think) and false rape accusations. I agree that false rape accusations should land the accuser in jail. I also think men should get paternity leave because it’s important for them to bond with their baby as well, though of course women in the USA get crappy maternity leave as well, so it’s an issue for everyone. A few years ago Emma Watson did a speech at the UN I think, and she talked about how men are affected negatively as well, forced to not show feelings and behave certain ways that are very harmful to their mental health. She definitely goes by the dictionary definition of feminism, of actual equality and not female superiority, which has been an issue of 3rd wave feminism that’s made me not want to call myself a feminist anymore. Anyway, point being, there are many ways in which men get the short end of the stick legally, though culturally I personally think women have it worse, as I don’t think women saying that women are more efficient workers than men is quite as bad as men treating women like sex dolls. But of course it’s much more complicated than that phrase makes it out to be. Of course we won’t agree on every detail haha

Dobs- it’s interesting that in CA they try to give men more parental rights than they deserve. Makes me think that since CA is super liberal and feminist, that they might be attempting to show that women aren’t the only nurturers, but consequently giving kids to men who are decidedly not nurturing people, in their attempt to be more equal. Sucky situation, really.

Sorry A isn’t saying Mom yet but is saying Dad, I’d be kinda hurt considering you’re the one who’s there for him, but of course he’s a baby so you can’t really blame him haha

Jez- my sleep schedule is just super messed up. It’s my own fault, really.

 

[DobbyForever]

CA just wants to be politically correct for the sake of being pc but we take it too far lol. Our new health ed standards now include explaining to kids about gay, hetero, bi relationships and what it means to be transgender and we need to refer to the sexes are biologically male and biological female and to be accepting. Which i’m Hippy dippy so idc but it’s a bit much people are in an uproar

 

[gigglebox]

Ok last thing I'll say on this...but Jez men are actually raped far more in the US if you include those in prison. Unfortunately no one picks and chooses who gets raped, lots of the victims of prison rape are non violent offenders.
I totally get about the cultural context but if women want validation and equality from men they need to stop insulting them. I agree, "an eye for an eye" doesn't work here. You can't demand respect by being an asshole.

 

[gigglebox]

Yeah dobs that is a bit much for me at elementary level. Definitely agree at high school level is should be mentioned though.

And lol California. I heard about the latest coffee causing cancer signs on all the coffee joints hahaha

 

[gigglebox]

Also dobs fx on getting the position! I think it's great especially if it's where you ultimately want to be. I'm sure your coworker will understand you are trying to advance your career. If if not and she becomes a bitch, you're in CA, claim racism!

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I agree that high school is a more appropriate time for those discussions. Maybe junior high, but definitely not elementary school. I’d want to be given a chance to talk to my kids about that stuff before their school does, and I’d want to be able to choose when I think they’re ready rather than be rushed into the discussion because their school wants to talk to them about it.

 

[gigglebox]

Agreed. Actually the really bothersome thing about that is something my old shrink told me. We were talking about pedo's and she had a theory about WHY some people turned out that way. Obviously sexual abuse is a hige contributor, however lots of people don't have abuse in their background. Her theory, after dealing with TONS of men who did the abuse, was that sometimes they are exposed to sexual content way too young. Obviously there is no proof here except her own experience, but definitely interesting and potentially disturbing exposing kids to sexual stuff that early could cause psychological issues...i mean they aren't even thinking of sex yet!

That said I haven't sat through a sex ed class since middle school...so, what, 20 years? I'd like to see a class before my final judgement!

 

[bdb84]

My life has been eventful lately, to say the least. Looking on the bright side, it's made this week fly by!

Last night as I was tucking the girls into bed, DH called out to me from the garage. I ran out and his foot was cut all to pieces on the bottom. He was trying to bring his dirt bike inside, but it started falling over. I'm not really sure what happened but when he tried to stop it from falling into his truck, he stepped on the peg (he was barefoot) and it ripped a nasty hole into the heel of his foot. He wanted to just wing it, but there was so much blood it scared me, and he was in so much pain.

So I rushed to settle the girls into bed and had to let DS (12) in charge. It makes me nervous to do so at night but I had no choice. He has his own phone so that makes it a bit easier.

We got to the ER and he ended up with 10 stitches. The stubborn man tried going to work this morning, took a few steps on that foot and realized real quick that wasn't happening. The nurse told us he'd be hurting much more today than he was last night. So he's resting today.

Here's to hoping for a more uneventful weekend than this week has been!

 

[bdb84]

Dobby- I'll definitely be sharing my scan pic with you ladies next week. DD2 had a rough morning today and I wanted so badly to cheer her up by finally telling her the news that she will be a big sister again, but I forced myself not to. She will be absolutely devastated if this pregnancy ends. I know I sound like a pessimist, but I just need to see that first scan, to verify a strong heartbeat, before I tell her. She loves babies so much and she's SO good with her little sister and step-brother. I know she is going to be so thrilled.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs that’s an interesting theory. It makes sense to me how that could happen.

In my school we had sex ed in 7th grade, and it consisted of them telling us about STDs, abusive relationships, and that while we should use condoms if we have sex, even if we use a condom we’re dirty and contaminated. We watched this horrible video that said condoms were like filters and they had kids spit chewed dorito into water and then filter the dorito water through filter paper into another glass, and they said this orange Dorito water is you after using a condom, you’re still used and nobody wants you because who wants to drink dorito water, it’s dirty. This was public school, btw. I told my mom years later and she said if I’d told her then she would’ve raised hell with the school. If condoms were filters, you’d think microscopic sperm would get through them lol. That video still makes me angry.

Bdb oh no! I hope his foot heals up fast!

 

[bdb84]

Shae- that's absurd! I would expect something like that down here in Texas but not in the NE!

I remember sex ed in health class in 7th grade and it taught the basics. I do not recall too much focus on abstinence only, thankfully. I remember being shown how to put a condom on a banana. Lol.

 

[shaescott]

Bdb- RIGHT?! My town was actually pretty conservative, despite being in Massachusetts. We were never taught how to use contraception, just told that if we don’t use condoms or birth control we’ll get pregnant and our boyfriend will leave us and we’ll be alone and a single teen mom. Though it was mostly abstinence-only, like the dorito water video proves. They had a slogan, “condoms don’t protect your heart”, which is technically true but like dude, not cool. Teens are going to have sex anyway, might as well teach them how to do it safely. Abstinence only education has the highest rates of teen pregnancy.

 

[gigglebox]

Omg shae!!! Wtf with that dorito video!

We were also taught to wrap it up or you'll get pregnant or an std, but you still have a high risk of both if you use a condom. And it was drilled in us to make sure you get tested regularly and ask your partner if they have been tested before you bang.

Bdb that is so seeet that your daughter gets giddy over babies! I completely understand your hesitation to tell her. Yikes about hubby's foot! Omg! I don't know what I would do...probably have to call an ambulance and send him alone! I shudder at the thought of trying to walk on that kind of injury!

 

[pacificlove]

Ladies, I remember sex Ed in my school. We basically got handed a booklet, we all blushed, giggled and that was it. Then in biology we talked about anatomy and the teacher nipped the giggles in the butt by saying "you are all too old to giggle, so call it what it is, penis, foreskin, vagina, etc." And that was it for education. My parents being quite conservative when it comes to that or even PDA, never said anything to me about this topic.
A few months ago we had a jogger get hit and killed by a car on our little island. The scene wasn't under control yet when the school bus loaded with elementary school kids drove by. The driver was hailed a hero for how he dealt with that situation.
On the other hand, you all heard about the junior hockey team that got into a crash? 16 dead. So Canada followed with a jersey day last Thursday. Schools, work places, so many people wore their jerseys in support of that team. Then teachers go around asking students to take of their shirts. Some students didn't know of the tragidy and the teachers didn't want to explain. Why would some parents not want to explain to their kids and then sent them to school where they hear it anyway from peers? That should not be left up to teachers.....

 

[shaescott]

PL I’m confused, the teachers told the kids to take off their jerseys that they were wearing in support of a bunch of kid hockey players who died? That doesn’t make sense to me, am I misunderstanding? What right do they have to tell kids to take off a jersey?

 

[gigglebox]

I'm confused too, did parents send them to school in jerseys but not explain why?

Either way two very sad stories and losses did you know of the local person who passed?

 

[claireybell]

Omg Shae that sex ed video??! Wth!!

Our sex ed was basically just m/f organs & intercourse & how babies are made.. i was about 10/11yrs old, condoms & protection/pg prevention was in secondary school in social Ed at the age of 12

Oohhhh Bdb that sounds painful! I hope hes being rested up & not being typical man about trying to do things when injured!

I just watched OBEM from Series 1 which is filmed at princess anne hospital in my town i just completely blubbed my ass off.. hormones haha! I always cry at OBEM i love it just so amazing that our bodies can grow babies