General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

I’m like really losing it. Idk how much more I can take.

 

[gigglebox]

What did your mom do Dobs? So sorry you are so stressed ugh, money. THAT i can relate to. Can you get A's dad's wages garnished?

I ended up going to triage. confirmed i'm just having a crap ton of false labor contractions. The new rule of thumb is only if they're 5 minutes or less consistently, or they become painful. Dr informed me which days my least fave dr is working and also says she does not expect me to NOT go into labor before my planned CS (which is at 39+5 so I too will be surprised if I make it that far).

I am allowed to take the meds again that slow contractions after one dose they've already substantially decreased. Unfortunately all my recommendations for bed/pelvic rest and lifting restrictions are back on -.- I didn't even get to F hubby because I was paranoid I was in early labor! I might have to break that one rule just once

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww Gigs I wouldn’t blame you for sneaking one in because of you hadn’t gone in then you wouldn’t have the restriction. BUT I am no doctor so lol maybe don’t listen to me

Just turned it on me saying she never blamed her parents for her mistake and she’s too old to pick up after my shit and that im being hurtful and I made my choices. My mom is helpful when I need something to survive like I have to go to work my boss is pissed type stuff. But when I ask for anything mental health related (which is so rare I hate to ask) it’s no not my fault you ruined both your lives blah blah. Not going to help get over it. This was her not saying anything she will regret later

 

[DobbyForever]

Like wtf do I need to have his psychologist call you directly now is not the time to play my life sucked more than yours learn from your mistakes

 

[Flueky88]

Pacific I'm also feeling unprepared for the change in dynamics. I'm sorry you are having a rough end of 3rd tri.

Pretty might as well try or rather not prevent especially since it's earlier than originally thought.

Shae that would be awkward testing in communal bathrooms. Yay for bfn though. That feels weird to say...

Gigs is it not insane that we have the sane family drama right now?!

Thanks I'm glad it went well too. Really happy to hear she is head down oh and I think you should have some anyways. You are nearly 38 weeks so that's not an issue. Maybe if you had that medication before it might help prevent contractions.

Dobby I hope you get child support soon. Also, can't imagine my mom not trying to comfort me when I need it.



Let V try her new bedroom out tonight. She cried for 3 to 5 minutes then was pretty quiet but still awake for 40 minutes or so. I found her asleep sitting up against the wall between her mattress and chair. I scooped her up and put her to bed.

Bought some postpartum supplies at Walmart today. Tucks pads, large pads. Think I'll buy some always discreet for that first week post partum.

Well I'm going to get a quick nap in, spend time with DH, then go to bed.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs yikes, sorry your mom is being that way. It may have to do with her upbringing, her attitude I mean, but it’s still not okay to treat you like that. I hope the ex pays up. Mental health is legit, and nobody should make you feel bad for trying to keep up with it.

AFM spotting is still just trace amounts of pink in CM, but my LP was 11 days last cycle, so if that trend continues then I can expect AF tomorrow or the next day. We’ll see what happens. I don’t feel pregnant (though idk what that feels like), I just feel like something is wrong with my body but idk what.

I managed to stay awake all day today with no naps. I’m super proud of myself lol. It’s a struggle for me not to nap at some point. I’ll be going to bed in the next hour, I think (it’s 10:10 PM as of writing this sentence). I brought a bunch of tea to college with me, last night I had a lovely cup of chamomile before bed. It didn’t help much cuz my fridge kept going off, it hums loudly every 30 minutes at least, but hey I tried. The fridge always goes off right when I’m going to bed, which isn’t terribly hard to catch considering the frequency at which it goes off. I swear last year the fridges in the other building weren’t this bad. I can’t remember ever being annoyed by the previous fridge, and it was right by the head of my bed. Now this fridge is across the room and drives me nuts it’s so loud, I have a hard time ignoring it to fall asleep, I often have to wait for it to stop before I can fall asleep. Perhaps there’s something wrong with the fridge to be that loud. Idk. They’re the same brand of fridge, same model I’m pretty sure, so you’d think either both or neither would be loud. The fridges are supplied by the college, they come with the room.

Anyway, that’s enough droning on about a stupid fridge.

First day of classes was today. The classes went pretty well. Nothing in-depth yet, just introduction chapters. I’m getting less stressed and more excited for the most part.

 

[DobbyForever]

My mom grew up in Thailand and was abandoned by her parents until she was a teen. She has seeeeen some shit.
Just a taste: not for the faint of heart

Spoiler

She was tied to a tree and covered in syrup and beaten and left to be bitten by fire ants. Cuz apparently that’s totally normal in Thailand back in the day.
She has been that poor kid selling overpriced s* to tourists.
She has had to forage for dinner, including getting bit by wild ducks for trying to steal their eggs.
She was almost assaulted by her uncle. Her older sister smashed a lamp on his head and saved her. They were then directed to never say anything because it would make the family look bad.
She was assaulted by her bf and then thrown out of his moving car. To which her moms friends teased her for being a prude about losing her V card.
Her husband beat her. Having a gun to her head while pregnant with me.
When said husband got therapy and became best dad/hubs ever, he drowns leaving her with two kids.

Those are just the highlights it goes on

But yeah she’s the type to tell you just kill yourself if you are suicidal. So fun.
Also told me I look six months pregnant when she knows I have body issues.
She watched the final episode of the show I was binging during nap time then intentionally spoiled it.

Just kind of over her rn

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Gigs - Thanks. And I know everyone mourns differently. There's probably a lot more deeply emotional stuff at play. Maybe I'll just see how this cycle goes and then see if there's anything that needs to be said.

Flueky - Ya, I think I will. I'll probably have to change that date a little if I O late again, but there's always the option of a membrane sweep at 38 weeks and just lots of spicy food and sexy times. lol

At least V didn't freak out too much. Hopefully tomorrow night will be better. I still have a pack of my pp pads kicking around. lol. And good to hear your appt went well.

Dobby - Jeez, I don't even know what to say any more. There's no way you deserve
this raw deal that life is giving you. There has to be something great and awesome in your future for all the crap you're going through right now. Just know that we always care and give a shit about you.

AFM, AF is in full swing. I got my opks and I found this website that gives you 5 different options when calculating your EDD. And it doesn't ask you how long your cycle is, which is annoying cuz I find mine can vary from month to month. It also gives you a break down of when to have certain tests done, when you can probably hear the HB on a doppler. Right now, it's giving me an EDD of Oct 21.

 

[DobbyForever]

Boooo af hope you catch soon but like due after Halloween so you can eat and have cake

My life is pretty set. I was feeling better then my toilet decided to randomly spit out literal shit on me to remind me that I will just be shit on constantly

And I’m out of mixer so now I have to drink old beer gag

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs i get your mom's perspective however you have an entirely different set of experiences and hardships. What drives me crazy is when parents are unable to empathize for their kids, or instead of trying to assist them deal with their emotional pain they throw the ever shitty, never helpful "well it could be worse so be grateful" crap at you. My Dad, who has never experienced such horrors as your mother, used to do this crap. I remember in group therapy in my teens when I was suicidal and he tells me how he wanted to kill himself after a break up but he got over it. I'm not sure if he was trying to one-up my situation or was just trting to relate but I do remember feeling pissed off about it. Even now he'll ask how you are, you'll say something like "I'm tired" and he'll say "YOU think YOU'RE tried, I was up at 3am this morning!"

I just don't converse with him about anything other than surface topics. Anything important usually gets relayed through my mom. Now I will give him some credit that in his older age and since we don't see much of each other since I moved he has gotten better, he'll call every now and then just to ask how I am. But now I'm resentful he doesn't have a good relationship with my kids...

OH LAWD sorry I just totally turned this around on myself and got ranty!

Anyway, Dobs, what about a baby sitter that you can gradually introduce to A? Like find one with references, then have her over for an interview and meet & greet, then maybe babysit a few times while you're still at home before you leave her alone with him?

Fluek did I miss something? Did you move V into a toddler bed??? I fear the day I have to do that with Lev. Now Des was amazing, he never even attempted to leave his bed, and in fact it wasn't until he was probably 4 when we finally had to really sit down and tell him it's ok if he wants to leave his bed in the morning. Then we had to train him to come out of his room. Up until then he wouldn't leave the bed until we came in his room and told him to get up. I have no idea why he did this as we were never strict about it...

Lev will be the opposite, the kid we have to keep picking up and putting back in bed.

Anyway i think the restrictions are leftover notes from my last hospital visit. I am going to ask today at my regular appointment. And regardless I need a good lay before the baby comes (read: before lochia and 6-8 weeks of post surgery healing).

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s insane what she went through. However, many abuse victims make the decision to end the cycle and make sure their children always feel loved and wanted. So while I empathize with her suffering, I don’t think it gives her an excuse to treat you like crap just because it’s “not as bad”. Like Jesus Christ, intentionally spoiling the end of a show for you? That was just malicious, no way around it. Having no sympathy when their child feels suicidal? What kind of parent tells their kid “just kill yourself then”?! There’s no excuse for her behavior. It’s straight up not okay.

Gigs omg I remember you talking ages ago about Des not getting out of bed unless he was told he could haha, still so funny and cute. I would definitely go for one last DTD considering the wait post-birth. Not sure if that would be sound medical advice, just saying that I’d probably personally do it.

AFM still having trace amounts of pink in my CM. Expecting AF soon. If the bleeding doesn’t pick up I might test tomorrow morning just in case, but I’m pretty sure AF is coming.

 

[gigglebox]

Haha yes I love that y'all support the decision to get down and dirty i'll see what I can do tonight. Unfortunately things are stressful right now outside of this baby thing...the whole business thing might fall through after we've invested a few thousand into it. Hubby is freaking out...I'm calm until I get more info on it. We'll see...

Shae can you contact maintenance about the fridge? Let them know the compressor is going off frequently and is very loud. It may need replacement.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I’m worried that it’s actually normal or something so they’ll show up and tell me it’s normal for it to hum or something and I’ll look super dumb, like I’m pretty sure it’s it cooling down the fridge and freezer but at the same the fridge last year wasn’t loud so idk. SO has heard it so I’ll ask him if he thinks it’s loud enough to get checked out. I can always email my RA and ask about it, she’s the one who would put in a work order with maintenance.

ETA: forgot to respond to the business thing. I really hope it doesn’t fall through, I’m a worry wart so I’d be freaking out, I’m glad you’re calm right now.

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs, fx his business does well. Bd should take his mind off it, even if it's just for a short while. Go for it girl

Dobs, I have heard it before that in some cultures mental health isn't considered. And if you don't have "all your screws tight", it's shameful on the whole family.
Our parents come from a generation where it's hard to adjust their views. Take my dad: he moved from Germany to canada 20 years ago, yet he thinks that banking, politics, and a few other things in Canada are so outdated "in germany these things would be illegal" is his favorite sentence. He keeps saying "in germany these things are so much better". One day I called him on it and said "why don't you go back if things there are so much better". Lol, he didn't take it well, anyway, point is: he'll never change his point of view. He knows things better then the professionals. Lots of topics we (his children) choose to avoid with him because of his stubborn "I know it better" attitude.

L, is still in his crib... These days he's been pretty good about staying down when we put him down, but I am still not looking forward to switching him into a "big boy bed" when we need the crib for #2.

 

[gigglebox]

pL i just got a second crib. I ain't ready to fight that battle!

Had my OB appointment. I asked about the restrictions...she said no lifting over 20lbs, still don't walk much, blah blah...then she looks at me and goes, with a sympathetic look in her eyes, "Are you wondering specifically about pelvic rest?"

"Welllllll....you know....it'd be nice to do before I have to go without for several more weeks" I say, sorrow in my tone.

"Look", she says, stern now, a rushed woman trying to stress her point in a very limited amount of time, "You are past 37 weeks. Go ahead and have sex with your husband. No more pelvic rest."

My smile could not be contained! I thanked her, and she left the room to greet her next patient.

The end.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs your narration was perfect, omg

I asked my RA about the fridge and she said hers does it too, but hers also didn’t do it last year. She told me she would ask the RD if it was normal.

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs enjoy your husband

As for crib: L loves beds...we had him with us shopping for the new couch and he was that kid climbing into every bed. The bigger the bed, the more he wanted to be on them. We told him "no shoes" as he attempted to climb into the first bed, so he sat down, took off his shoes and proclaimed "no shoes, Odi in the bed". (Odi being the new name hes come up with for himself a few weeks ago). Hopefully, when it's time to get him a big bed, letting him choose a big boy bed will be part of a happy bedtime. Or maybe I am just too optimistic.....

Afm: been having at type cramps on an off this morning. DH and i did bd last night, good o was laced with a nice strong BH contraction. Ugh..
Admission: I played with nip stimulation this morning... I did it at the end of last pregnancy but don't think it did anything then. Well, maybe this time it does probably won't start labour, but maybe a bit of "getting ready"?

Pink: membrane sweet: it really only works if your body is ready to go into labor.

 

[gigglebox]

Leave them boobies alone PL! At least for a week...That is too cute about Logan and taking off his shoes! Omg Lev would lose his mind in a furniture store. He loves all things soft -- beds, pillows, stuffed animals...blankets are his favorite though

Couch is coming tomorrow eeeee!!!

 

[pacificlove]

I guess so... Been feeling off all morning. Coincidence? Hospital here can deal with babies born after 36 weeks. Dang, I am getting ready to evict!

 

[Flueky88]

Shae sorry about the annoying fridge. Hope this semester is better too

Dobby also omg the toilet started spewing poo out of it?!?! Stuff of nightmares!!!

Pretty thanks I'm hoping for no crying tonight. It was thankfully only a little last night, but still hard. Hope AF leaves soon she is never fun.

Gigs I moved her into a new room onto a twin mattress. No box spring and it's on the floor so if she rolls out she won't get hurt. She's so tall I felt buying a toddlee bed was a bit of a waste. I was afraid she'd hurt herself climbing over a rail for a twin bed too. I was going to move her into room last month but was waiting on a few things. DH checked her later in the night and she was still on the mattress.

Sorry to hear about DHs job stressing him out. Hope it turns around soon. Will try not to ask about it so I don't stress you out. I'll wait patiently for updates.

Oh and yay for agreeing no need to avoid sexy time. I really enjoyed your narration of the conversation also think I'm losing the bet that Myles came before the couch.

Pacific I wanted to move her before baby arrived so she felt like she wasn't being pushed out by baby. She's in a huge climbing stage now too so that was worrying me. So cute about l and the beds.

No nipple stim until 37 weeks

AFM: not been too bad. V didn't wake up any until after I left for work. DH said she screamed when she woke up, but he spoke to her and she calmed down. I just put her down and less than a minute of crying. I suspect I'll be putting her into her bed though.

Getting excited about labor class Thursday I'm excited to learn more about coping mechanisms and want to be prepared for reality that I may not be able to get an epidural.