General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Dobby is having a full on meltdown but come tomorrow I’ll go back to pretending everything is a f*ing ok

 

[shaescott]

Dobs sending love and hugs

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs! Ok I was being a bit dramatic lol. But I did drink the whole bottle and I didn’t eat much yesterday, so that was interesting. I’m definitely hurting today lol thank goodness A doesn’t have speech today since it’s just a goal meeting. I just have to get through the next 3 hours of Zooming. It was definitely a well if I’m not pregnant I’ll just drink the whole bottle! pity party

 

[shaescott]

 

[DobbyForever]

LMFAO omg I laughed too hard. That’s so great

A broke my tv and evidently I didn’t buy protection. I need a mounted tv. Five months. Five month! Ugggghhh

ETA I unplugged it for a while and it’s fine now. But as far as A knows it’s still broken and shall remain so kid needs less screen time

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - In regards to adulting, you just gotta take it one purchase and bill and day at a time. I'm 33 with a house and 2 kids and I still feel like I still wondering how I'm here and mature enough for all of this. lol
Re: secondhand stuff. Nothing wrong with used stuff. SO's mom bought us a crib and change table (that her husband then sanded and re-painted), as well as a pack and play. I would definitely agree with getting mattresses new though. Also, for future reference, also get new kids shoes. When you put a foot that's still growing into shoes with another kid's foot grooves, it can apparently cause issues.
Keeping my FX that your recent purchases fit. Between work and staying at home, I've basically just been using sports bras for months. And most of my currently wearable bras are from WalMart, so not the best quality. lol

Dobby - May be an unpopular opinion, but I agree about not telling a casual guy you're pg right away. If you make it into 2nd tri, decent chance you'll make it to term, so wait til then to save any additional stress and drama. But that's just me. And sorry about you TV. :/

Re: saying hi to strangers. Hardly get any of that up here, which is fine by me. I used to get annoyed when someone would ask me a question on the street, like for the time or directions. Like, I have face piercings and an alternative hair colour, do I look approachable? I swear I'm nice, but I can also be like Miranda Priestly in Devil Wears Prada ("Please bore someone else with your questions.") lol. That being said, I don't mind small talk with the other parents in line to drop their kids at the daycare.

AFM, nothing too major to report here. Haven't really talked anymore about baby #3, but I feel like we covered a lot on Monday night. And then, on Tuesday, we had just gotten home from picking the kids up from daycare and SO was holding a crying Matthew. I said something to him from the living room and he cut me off mid-sentence saying "I can't hear you over the crying... he said for the next 6 years." lol. At least we're joking about it.
Struggling a bit with the unpredictably of conceiving though. Alex was conceived in 2 cycles with no tracking and Matthew was conceived in 1 cycle while doing OPKs. I think my MMC was conceived pretty quick too, so there's no reason to think this will take a while, but I'm sure fertility can change a lot in 2.5 years, As much as I'd ideally like an April baby, I need to remind myself not to put all my eggs in one basket and there's nothing wrong with March or May, possibly very early June, or even September. Just gotta take it one cycle at a time and remember the #1 goal is a healthy baby.

 

[DobbyForever]

Haha Pretty I loved the DWP reference.

Yeah. I’d tell after a 6w ultrasound confirms a heartbeat. Only because I could never live with myself if he wanted to go to the first prenatal but I never told him. This being a general him lol not a specific him. Like if you don't want to go, I'm cool going without you. But I don't want the reason you don't go to be because I didn't tell you. Esp like (idk who watches Teen Mom) look at Cheyenne and Corey. I forget why she didn't tell him, but he missed out on the entire pregnancy and he's such a good dad and he's always been really bummed about it. Although I’ve personally never met a booty call that wanted to step up in case of accidental pregnancy. In other news a guy just told me he wants to put me on a leash and make me his pet so excuse while I go throw up I hate online dating lol

re fertility things can change post kids for sure but I hope that things move swiftly and safely. And yes any nearby month works and health first, but fxed you get your April baby

 

[shaescott]

Pretty that’s good to know about the kid shoes, thank you! I hate to admit it, but I’ve never seen the devil wears Prada. I’ve heard of it of course but I don’t know anything about it. I haven’t seen a lot of movies that most people have seen. For example, I didn’t see the goonies until last summer. I’m glad your SO is joking around about it, it seems like a good sign. Re: fertility, my mom had me at 32 and my sister at 37. She conceived me in one cycle. She was worried with my sister that it might take a little longer to conceive, so they started trying a few months early even though they wanted another spring baby (I’m an April baby). My sister was born in November, because once again my family followed the “do or do not, there is no try” rule of conceiving. Anyway, point being, a few years may have zero effect on your fertility. Hopefully it’s just as good as it was a few years ago!

Dobs I’d agree with the 6 week/heartbeat thing when it comes to a casual guy. No point stressing him out before you know if it’s even viable. Once the heartbeat is confirmed, though, I think it’s time to spill the beans. He should get the opportunity to be involved.
I’m glad the tv seems to be working again!

AFM still negative OPKs ugh. Will continue to test twice a day. I was hoping after my quick temp drop this cycle that I’d start reverting (cycle length-wise) to my old 30 day cycles but I guess not, at least not this month. They might be permanently longer post-IUD, idk. Guess I just have to be patient.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae I’m so sorry. That’s so frustrating. I know it can take some time. You had the hormonal iud? Hugs. I also saw a thread the other day about some women vax.

def need to watch DWP. I enjoyed it more at your age lol. I’m so bitter and cynical now that things (ex Bridgerton) just make me angry with the promotion of toxic relationships as romantic and sh*tty examples of humans for characters.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs yes, it was the hormonal. The Kyleena, specifically. They say your periods will come back exactly how they were before but my periods were not this light pre-IUD. I can’t say for sure if they should be regular or not, I’d only been regular for a few months (29-31 days) when I got my first in. Getting it in so young while my cycles were still regulating may have messed them up, idk.
I’ve heard rumors about the vaccine and menstrual cycles but most of them are like “if you’re near someone who was vaccinated it can shed off them and cause infertility and cycle issues in you” which is like ???? I can’t be certain that it hasn’t affected my cycles, but I don’t think it has. I was past O when I got the shot, so that late O wasn’t from it.
Still no positive OPKs. Argh.

 

[shaescott]

Negative again this morning uggggh my cervix has been high the past few days too, like let’s goooooo

 

[DobbyForever]

High is good, right? I don’t remember.

Also pretty sure you can’t just shed/catch infertility but ok world. I don’t know why I stopped mid sentence lol. But I know some ladies are saying anecdotally that their cycles are longer now. I think it’s more to do with the iud. I know I’m 20 lbs heavier than before IUD so it could just be that my pcos is more dormant when I weigh less BUT my cycles didn’t start being effed up until after I had the copper iud. But I also was on bcp 15-25 most of the time. So idk which is to blame.

Anywho I hope you get a positive opk soon and that things regulate soon as well

 

[Flueky88]

Shae hope you O soon and your cycles get regular soon.

Dobby yes while watching Bridgerton, all I could think of was how toxic of a relationship the Duke and her had. I think 5 to 10 years ago though I wouldn't have felt the same aka would have rooted for them.

Our home should be delivered next week weather permitting. We are in process of getting utilities and septic on our land. Such a pain but getting really excited about it coming together.

 

[DobbyForever]

Fluek right?!?! Craziness. But wow!!!! That’s so exciting!!!! Ahhh! So thrilled for you!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - There are a lot of movies everyone's seen that I haven't either. Like any of those mafia movies or Fast and Furious ones and some 80's classics. I've seen bits and pieces of The Goodies, but not the whole way through. But ya, DWP is definitely a good time. I recommend it.
Sorry you're still waiting on your positive. Hopefully it comes soon.
And my mom had me at 37 (after an ectopic at 32 and a regular MC at 35) and my sister at 42, but dunno how many cycles they were trying before BFPs.

Dobby - I don't really know that Teen Mom back story well, but that kinda sucks. At least he can enjoy his daughter now.

Flueky - Yay! FX the weather cooperates.

AFM, I was looking at my next few predicted cycles. One of them is supposed to start on June 15. That means July 1st would be CD17. I seem to O around CD19 or 20 and The Babydust Method recommends doing it 2.5-3 days before O for a girl. I was conceived on July 1st, so maybe that'll be a good girl making day for us too. That being said, I think my mom's EDD was March 26. With June 15 as day one, mine would be March 22. And I don't think they'd let me go late enough to deliver an April baby, if my body doesn't start the process before then. So, maybe best to aim for next cycle as my EDD would potentially be April 22-ish.

Also, came across these announcements, so I definitely must be out of 1st tri before Halloween. lol. Would use the wording of the first with the pic of the 2nd.

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww Pretty that’s such a cute announcement!

ooo you’re going to try to sway? Fxed! I’ve heard of it but don’t know that I know everyone who like actively tried to sway. And re starting cycle I guess it just depends on how much you don’t want late March. My friend here went like 3/4 weeks past her edd before she let them induce her? But she’s a hyper feminist and I honestly don’t know how she swung that. My gyn said 42w is when they start inducing. So if you went over you could potentially get an early April baby. But it’s all so up in the air. If only biology could be more cooperative lol. Either way super excited to have someone actively trying to stalk and live through

and don’t watch teen mom. Lol just don’t do it. I’d stop, but I feel so invested in their lives now lol

AFM same old stuff. Crazy to think only 22 more school days! Have to do my report cards on Memorial Day weekend. My mom brought up the donor thing yesterday and reminded me that she disapproves because I’m barely managing my life as is. Which is fair. Lol. But still. I’m hitting dating fatigue again. The guys are either non committal, or I just have to settle so much on things that are really important to me. So idk. I’d honestly say screw everyone’s opinion and do it now, especially since (having now done the math lol) conceiving between April-July gives me an EDD of Jan-April. I have a good next egg of sick leave to take the half year off, especially the closer I get to Spring Break. Then I’d have all summer. She (cuz y’all know I’d spring for gender selection ... she says before actually researching price LOL) would be 5-6+ months before going back to work bs A was only 3. And by the time I have to send her to daycare, A would be out of daycare. But if I’m doing it on my own I need to save up some money because lord knows I can’t afford daycare without help. Like can’t buy food and clothes and diapers and gas on $200 a month for three people. Or *gasp* I have to refinance or sell and move to somewhere I can buy a house cash. My mom did say we can talk about donors when I’m 35. But I’m broody now. I always wanted my second at 32. And by the time I’m 35 I may not want a second kid again lol

 

[Flueky88]

Pretty I really like Halloween/ fall announcements we did a pink pumpkin inside a large craved one to announcement gender of dd2 and I had a pumpkin outfit.

As for swaying. I have had BD 4 hours after BD and still conceived a girl. Not that we were trying that time. All my others I had BD all throughout.

Dobby sorry you don't have support on donor front. Daycare prices are ridiculous in big cities. I hope that she'll come around and things just fall into place.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty how cute with the announcement ideas! My former roommate had a picture of her and her bf with pumpkins with the phrase “we’re adding a pumpkin to our patch”. It wasn’t exactly professionally made so it could’ve been better aesthetically but it was a cute concept, I liked it.
My parents swayed for girls simply by having sex every single day, I hadn’t heard that theory before but they had 2 girls so I suppose it worked?

Dobs I understand your mom’s reservations and I’d definitely make sure you can afford the extra diapers and daycare first, but if you can swing it it’s your body and she can’t tell you what to do with it. If you have a good plan in place, I say go for it.
As for cervical height, yes, high is fertile. I had a little bout of back to creamy CM but now I’m noticing EW again. OPKs still super negative, hoping they’ll turn positive or at least start visibly increasing tomorrow.

Flueks so exciting about the house! I hope the weather behaves!

Omg imagine if Dobs, Pretty, and I were all pregnant at the same time, that would be so cool! But unlikely because my diaphragm is doing its dang job too well though they stopped selling my non-irritating spermicide on Amazon for some reason, it’s totally wiped from the search in the US, and the alternative is the classic stuff that can cause burning ugh. People are selling it on eBay, I might have to resort to that although I’d have to make sure they came sealed and stuff so I know it’s safe. I’ve been through one tube and just started my second, I had bought 2.

DRAMA RANT
Some mom vs SO drama going on today. SO refuses to get the vaccine and has been refusing for months and somehow my mom missed that memo and freaked out today when she asked if he was vaccinated yet and I said no. She went into a whole rant about how if I got pregnant he could give me Covid and me and my baby could die and we shouldn’t be having sex if he’s not willing to get it. Like I agree with her that it’s a risk, but I’m vaccinated, the chances of me contracting it are very low. She got me all anxious and I texted SO telling him I wanted him to get it and he did not react well, he was asking why I was guilt tripping him and trying to make him go against his beliefs. It’s not like a religious thing so weird but okay. He’s adamant that he’s not getting it and he thinks my mom is manipulative and abusive and he doesn’t like how she talks to me, that she’s only nice when I’m doing what she wants and she only cares about herself. I was like dude you haven’t seen all aspects of her. He hasn’t seen her when we (as in me and SO) get in a huge fight or I’m super depressed and I crawl into her lap and cry and she doesn’t even complain about the fact that she has 138 pounds on her lap, she just holds me and says my favorite childhood poems and sings to me or sits in silence if needed. She can calm me down a million times better than he can. That’s not a mom who only cares about herself. My mom has very strong beliefs and he doesn’t have to agree with them and neither do I, but her having drastically different beliefs from him doesn’t make her abusive or manipulative. She’s by no means perfect but she’s not a bad person. So I basically set a boundary and told him that calling her abusive crosses a line, she’s my mom and I respect her.

 

[DobbyForever]

Hahah well Shae as fun as that would be! Don't be too bummed because my bcp has less chance of failing than your diaphragm, and I am my mother's daughter. I just talk s* out my ass. The reality is I could never afford a second kid on one income, even if my income is pretty great, unless my mom agreed to provide childcare. Which she won't. So gg.

And I'm sorry about what SO said. Obviously, can't really weigh in because I wasn't there and don't really know them. But I think it's really great that you set that boundary of end of day this in my mom and you can say what you need to say but don't call her this and that. Hopefully things cool down. Sorry he's not feeling ready to get vaxxed. It's definitely a tricky situation to navigate.

Sorry your O is still playing hide and seek

 

[shaescott]

Dobs ah well, sorry the money isn’t in a good place for that.
SO is a total conspiracy theorist so the chances of him getting the vaccine are very low. It’s quite annoying but I can’t force him.

I *think* my surge is starting, fx’d!