General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Jezika]

Sorry to hear that Dobs I have to say I genuinely admire you for all that you do. I would for sure break if I dealt with half of what you’re dealing with.

Random comment here coz I suddenly remembered the new tests you mentioned gigs, and why the heck would they add a pipette to begin with? What’s wrong with the dips tests? Sounds like unnecessary need for more single-use plastic. Booo.

 

[Jezika]

Oh, breeding kink - I’ve never heard of this term but I can definitely relate and kind of assumed everyone had it? Like the riskiness of getting pregnant kind of being a turn-on?

 

[shaescott]

Re: breeding kink, honestly I think it’s just a term used to shame people (mostly women) for wanting to get pregnant/have children, which is a normal natural biological desire. It’s not considered a kink if it’s part of normal sexual function lol, and the primary biological purpose of sex is reproduction. I see people use “breeding kink” as an insult to women who have more than 3 children, acting like the only way you could possibly want that many children is some unnatural kink, when in actuality, it’s biologically perfectly normal. It’s actually more abnormal when people don’t have a desire to have children, because it’s counter to their biological programming. Anyway, hopping off my soapbox.

Dobs sorry about the bus issues

Jez yikes, I’m sorry you’ve been so sick. I hope they’ll give you that med and that it’ll make a big difference.

Gigs the progesterone is a urine test, I use the Inito Fertility Monitor, so it tests estrogen, progesterone, LH, and FSH. The strips aren’t cheap, a box of 15 is $55 after shipping. They’re a tiny bit cheaper than FRERs, but of course cheapies are like 100 for $25. Now that I’m familiar with how my hormones work, I don’t use the Inito test terribly often, just when I feel like I’m having my LH surge (I’ll take an OPK first, I’ve gotten quite good at knowing when to take a test lol, my CM and cervix are usually pretty obvious about it) to see how high the levels are to verify a good rise of both LH and estrogen, and then a few days after ovulation to confirm adequate progesterone rise. Just cause they’re expensive and all, I don’t want to use them as directed (aka like every day from CD6 to ovulation) when I understand my levels well at this point.

 

[Jezika]

Oh that’s interesting Shae. I never thought of the breeding kink thing like that, but then again I’ve never heard people actually talk about it. For me it’s like, “Oooh I kind of want him to come inside me because it’s illicit and risky and that’s a turn-on,” but if it actually happens I’d instantly regret it after orgasm. It does make sense that there is a natural drive for that though, but I feel like for some people it is the danger/risk/illicitness aspect, which I’m assuming is a factor in a lot of kinks. But I’ve never really thought deeply about this so who the heck am I to say, lol.

So the nurse took my BP at my prenatal appt today and it was 133/76 on the second try (was slightly higher on the first try). I’ve never had blood pressure outside of the normal range so of course I’m a tiny bit concerned. I do have a sore tonsil and very swollen lymph node close to it… could an infection like that increase BP? Could it be from wearing a mask (I’d only worn it for like 4 minutes prior to BP being taken but I do feel like it’s harder to breathe through them). With two nurses on this thread, feel free to share your thoughts

I also suddenly remembered earlier about the skunk spraying Gigs’s dog. Oof. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I was at a friend’s cottage last weekend and their golden retriever had been sprayed in the face two months ago and he still smells, though mostly only when he’s wet. Every time he got wet from the lake and was anywhere near me the smell made me so damn nauseous. In fact just thinking about it now is making me nauseous. Bleeeurgh. I did get prescribed diclectin at least, but it’s not ready for pickup yet.

Shae i should’ve gleaned this from your previous posts but when do you now think you’ll be full-force TTCing? I’m so excited for that time. I think full-force efforts will reward you nicely.

Also, since older child-bearing was mentioned recently, coincidentally I was talking to my 90-year-old grandmother on my recent trip and she was telling me how she got pregnant unexpectedly with my youngest aunt at age 45 and the village spread rumours that it was actually my mum’s baby and that she gave it to her because she didn’t want it (my mum was in university at the time). She was in tears while telling me this Also I spoke to a friend’s mum this weekend who naturally conceived and gave birth to twins at age 48(!!!!). Vaginal delivery and all! Makes me feel better about being 38 if/when I give birth this time. Also pray for me that it’s not twins. Scan is on Monday.

 

[shaescott]

Jez that makes sense about the risky aspect. I definitely have that lol and so does DH, but he always comes to his senses before actually giving me the goods lol. I would argue that it still could be purely biological, because even if we don’t logically want kids at the time, when we’re having sex and the hormones are high, those hormones try to tell us we actually do want to get risky and get pregnant.

 

[shaescott]

Totally forgot to respond to the rest of that lol.

For the BP, if you’re sick, it could be a bit higher. It’s not crazy high by any means. I would definitely rule out the mask as a cause, I’ve never ever seen it cause an increase in blood pressure, and I can’t think of any reason it would. I hate them with a burning passion though lol, they’re so uncomfortable, especially when it’s hot out, it’s like you’re breathing 100% humidity at 100 degrees. It could also have been anxiety, if you were feeling particularly anxious.

Might be a few months before we start TTC, DH wants to feel a bit more secure. So basically, one of my aunts is being pissy about us moving in with my Papa because she feels like she’s being replaced even though she doesn’t live there. It’s not logical lol. With getting the house, it turns out it might not be worth it. It’s in pretty rough shape under the surface apparently. We’d still take it lol but with my aunt getting pissy, that may very well not happen. However, we’ll be able to save up for a down payment while living there, and that’s not nothing. With the price of housing, if DH can get a remote job, we’ll likely move to like Tennessee or something, housing is much cheaper there, but we do want to wait for interest rates to drop before even looking at that.

 

[Jezika]

Hmm yeah I wasn’t feeling particularly anxious in that moment but then who knows what lies underneath the surface. I think I’m more emotionally avoidant than I often have myself believe, which is funny because I frequently go to such vulnerable places with clients and talk a good talk, but when it comes to myself it can be much harder in practice. Now of course I’ll almost certainly be anxious when I next measure BP :/

I’m sorry about your aunt being pissy. I’m not surprised it’s not logical, as family drama often isn’t. It does sound like you have some decent alternative plans, even if it means means waiting a little longer to TTC. Being in a better place career and finances-wise probably isn’t a terrible thing. Remind me how old you are again? All I remember is that you are quite young, but that was 7 years ago!

 

[DobbyForever]

Still swamped with a million things but lol saw breeding kink come up spoilering in case I get in trouble hehehe

Spoiler

so the way I understand it from the random instagram video I saw one day it's when a person is turned on by not using a condom (and we all know how I feel about those). It's not actually always about wanting to become or cause someone to become pregnant. Like for me, I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want an oops. Even before, I knew I wanted to be a mom but I didn't want an oops baby. That being said, I HATE DTD with gloves on so I would honestly just rather not do it at all. The highlight of DTD is when my partner finishes, and it's really disappointing when that finish isn't inside of me. Like don't get me wrong I'm open to and love all finishes, but if at some point I don't get the goods I feel unsatisfied. Some of the best BD I've ever had was TTC bd. But yeah for me I am on bcp so it's not about getting preggo. It's just that feel and that slight what if and just that primal desire to get the payload. But it's also about a certain level of trust because there is a certain level of risk involved when you're sleeping with someone and not using barrier protection. Actually I don't think I saw it on instagram I think one day I was bored and googled something like why do I only like DTD if my partner finishes

 

[shaescott]

Jez I’m 24. We’re just going to ignore how old that made me 7 years ago lmao, some fibs were told back in the day surrounding age but I needed an outlet for my pregnancy scares. And for my baby obsession lol. DH knew I was on BnB back then, I was updating him on all the pregnancies on this thread 7 years ago lol. He knew I was crazy and married me anyway, so here we are. Nobody hate me

Dobs I definitely feel unsatisfied if he doesn’t finish, and it’s not always related to wanting to get pregnant. Idk if that counts as a kink though. It seems like a reasonable desire lol. Maybe the level to which you require it could be considered a kink though. Idk

 

[DobbyForever]

I definitely require it. I get super pouty and annoyed lol. And like I said if I knew from the get go I probably wouldn’t bother and would just offer alternates to DTD or a more one sided situation. But kink to me is just a sexual preference. But I also am a huge anti kink shamer and the sociologist in me is like ah but a rose but any other name lol. Doesn’t matter to me what it’s called. I do kind of like and find solidarity/comfort knowing it has a name and it’s really common. But yeah when I get the goods, especially from a guy I love, and I’m just walking around town knowing his little soldiers are living inside me. I’ll be on a high for 3-5 days

ps nw on the age it’s nobody’s business but also like context clues was always clear you were a young’un . Also 7 years how crazy

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I definitely would say the part about walking around with his soldiers in you for 3-5 days sounds like a kink and not just biology lol, but of course, no shame.

And lol I was not a good liar

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol well nw I think for me the giveaway was like where you were with school and that both of you lived at home just little things. Everyone needs a safe space to talk about these things

and yeah it’s my kink haha idc though o will say o swipe left on guys who say must be kink friendly on the profiles cuz that’s just too much for me lol

 

[gigglebox]

Jez!!! how was your big trip overseas? Was it just you or did you all go? How does Tilly (sorry Tilly, I can't) fare on the plane, if she goes/has gone before? Sorry about all the nausea! I hope the meds help. Ha, yes, the dog...the top of her head still stinks but only if you give a close whiff. Also it's not more a subtle pot/skunk smell and less burnt rubber so...progress? I have no valid insight on the BP but I do once recall a nurse friend of mine saying to me, "There are three types of people -- men, women, and pregnant women" (when referring to viewing people from a medical stance). Each has their own state of normal, and pregnant women can get so crazy out of whack with their bodies, who even knows. It doesn't sound like your BP level was much cause for concern by your doctor but it could just be your new "normal" for this pregnancy. Or it may be a fluke. Who knows....? Gestational "problems" are totally a thing. For example gestational diabetes. I had gestational thrombocytopenia (or something like that....I don't remember -- but it was low blood platelets) with DS3 and no other pregnancy (and all when back to normal in the weeks after birth)...so I'd say if they aren't worried, you shouldn't worry!

Shae interesting about the strips...definitely not something I have any desire to keep up with now but very interesting and certainly insightful! I will admit though it is somewhat satisfying to pee on an hpt though. Bummer about the house drama but maybe it's for the best...? If you aren't in love with it, it could very well be something you regret, especially if it's a money pit...Also yay TN! Come join us southerners!

Wait, Dobs, So is "breeding kink" just simply not wearing a love glove? That is so tame with such an aggressive name. I'd imagine it to be more like reproductive sex, specifically. And if that's a thing, then that's totally me, because dtd with the intent to reproduce is the absolute best, imo. Like Jez said, it's the "risk" of it I guess, but even with that as the known intention, if feels different than just sex ending in "getting the payload", as you say and THAT all sounds different than the desire just to get the goods for the sake of hanging onto them after the moment is gone...that's gotta be something else, because "breeding" is not the goal. Does that make any sense? I'm writing out my thoughts as I'm pondering them lol

So AF is officially here. Dodged that bullet...maybe? I don't even know how I feel about the whole thing. I will say one thing however. I absolutely do not miss TTC. I mean other than the sex, lol! But the waiting every month to see if it worked or not was so brutal. And the feeling of disappointment when the opportunity is missed just sucks. You're left feeling so sad about it every month. It'd definitely exciting at first but gets old pretty quick, from my own personal experience. I think it'd be much easier if you set a realistic goal...like "I want to get pregnant in the next 12 months" rather than "let's try to get pregnant this month". Wanting to immediately get pregnant is such a stressful thing! And it's like you've failed at a goal when it doesn't work out, even though it's like gambling and the odds aren't in your favor in the first place!

It was weird experiencing that even though we clearly aren't TTC. But just my weird thoughts in this past "tww".

Also I'm not full on back into wanting goats, lol!!! I've wanted them for a couple years now but hubby wasn't on board. He very recently agreed, so long as we can get everything organized and ready (so still several months away I'm sure). So tentatively spring! Maybe! Also I currently buy a goat milk share from a local lady who I really like, and turns out she breeds the breed I want! They're kind of expensive for goats but she breeds for milk production and that's what I want most. Also she's close and can help me if I have any issues come up (which I most likely will, considering I've never owned 4-legged farm animals before).

Anyway this is a baby forum and now a livestock forum but I'm excited lol

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I got AF too, it started slow yesterday and then today I got up for work and was having cramping in my uterus and vagina, I instantly knew my uterus was trying to expel some clots. I gave birth to a few and my uterus is happy now lmao. I don’t get that most cycles.

Goats sound fun! We wanted to get chickens but since future housing is up in the air it’ll have to be delayed. End goal is for DH to be the sole provider while I stay home with the future kids, homeschool them, and have a little homestead with chickens and a big garden, maybe some goats (though DH hates their eyes, he says they look evil lol). Tennessee sounds fun, but we both hate the heat, so we’d need really good AC, plus working the garden would have to be done at sunrise and sunset to avoid death lol. But at least we’d have a longer growing season. DH’s friends are super interested in moving to Tennessee, which would be amazing. Having a community is so important, and it’s so hard to have one when you move to a new place. We really want to make friends with some farmers so we can trade resources and help each other out. I want to learn canning and stuff so we can have a good food supply for emergencies. You never know with all the craziness in this country (and the world) these days, always good to have some supplies stocked up just in case. DH is very into that.

 

[gigglebox]

Shae it sounds like our hubbys (hubbies?) have a lot in common — even the feeling about goats and their eyes hubs is already backpedaling on the goats, told me he doesn’t really like goat milk. Then I was pointing out all the areas on our property they could help clear and he says, “well I could do that myself and it wouldn’t take as long”. Like wtf? What changed from literally yesterday?

I’m actually rather upset and spiraling a bit but I’m sure pms is at play a bit here. But I just feel like the listening to each other recently has been lopsided. He’s got a lot going on, but so do I…I feel like I’ve been trying to talk and he changes the subject or something. Tonight I was venting about some work that I’m doing for his company and he is just scrolling on his phone. He’s not usually like that and I’m not usually bothered but I an today clearly lol

darn af! Mine is particularly painful as well. Not cramps but like this horrid shooting stabbing pain in my vag. Not cool or appreciated. Sorry yours is having no mercy as well! It’s rough being a chick sometimes.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I also had the shooting stabbing vagina pains! It was very rude.
Yeah I’d be pissed too if I got the all clear and then he backpedaled. Kinda like I’m a bit pissed that DH said about TTC when we move “yeah might as well” and then took it back. Not thrilled about that. But at least we now have a plan to save up for a down payment now that we won’t be paying rent. We’ll see what happens with job stuff for DH.

 

[shaescott]

Anyone alive?

 

[PrettyInInk42]

I am. Keep meaning to read back and get caught up on everything, but I'm a lazy procrastinator. Maybe during nap time today. FX. lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Honestly barely. I’m literally going to have to sue the district. Work is exhausting. I had a full nervous breakdown on Saturday.

In better news, I did see OA last night. Was nice. We just watched Ashoka and then went to bed.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Ok, I believe I'm caught up. Please excuse me if I miss anything.

Dobby - I can't believe you're having to go to this extent just to keep A in school. I don't even know if I'd be mentally equipped to deal with half of it. As I said in my last post, give 'em hell.
And how has he been since he's been on meds for a little bit now?
We also watch Ahsoka and all that too. SO's cousin comes over and we make a night of it. And Star Wars in my house is called Pew Pew, cuz of the sound the blasters make. lol

shae - Jeez, that sounds like a lot of drama. Both with the state of the house and family stuff. Just to clarify though, you're still moving in but, you're just not sure who will take possession of the house once your Papa passes, right?
Sorry that you'll probably have to wait a little longer for a BFP. Life does sound like it's gonna be hectic in the next few months though. Probably best to wait for the dust to settle a bit. The last thing you wanna deal with is morning sickness while moving and starting a new job. Just my 2 cents.

Jez - Hope you had a great time in Europe. And FX your nausea clears up soon. How far along are you now?

Hope everyone is doing well.

Re: skunk. SO's mom's dog got sprayed several years ago. Unfortunately, they didn't realize until the dog had already run inside and rubbed it's face all over the furniture. That smell is something else. For future reference, if anyone or any animal gets sprayed, follow these steps..
What to do when a skunk sprays your dog

AFM, the boys going back to school has gone pretty seemlessly. Matthew didn't cry and was even complaining that there wasn't any school during the first weekend. lol
My mom is having her house hella reno'd, so she's living with us for at least a few weeks. The majority of her floors were done a few years ago after a water leak on the main floor. Now, she's getting a lot of new drywall, a new kitchen, her only full bathroom is totally gutted. It'll look like a totally new house. It's a little bittersweet cuz that's where all my childhood memories were made. But time marches on and this reno is long overdue.
Speaking of reno, SO and I have tentatively agreed to get out kitchen reno'd in January. So, we'll see if that pans out.
Also, I believe we've basically decided that we'll do Florida for a couple weeks in the 2nd half of November, just after my leave officially ends. So, I'll hopefully find a new job shortly after we get back, which means Zoey will be starting daycare before we know it. More bittersweetness. :')

Couple recent pics of the kiddos.