Hi ladies - thank you all so much for your thoughts.
I have been doing a lot of research these past couple of days and we are being realistic and preparing ourselves for the worst
It is highly likely that is our baby makes it to birth he or she will be severely disabled, not being able to walk, talk, hear or see. And if we don't make it to birth we are likely to have a still born. Ultimately it is looking like it will fall on us to make the decision whether to continue with the pregnancy or not and if I'm honest, selfishly, I would just rather nature made that decision for me right now. I cant bear the thought of what lies ahead for us. This is only the beginning of what seems to be a very long road.
I'm not certain I have the strength needed to deal with all of this, I thought my previous losses were difficult to come to terms with but this is just completely unbearable. Our little baby looks so fine on his/her picture.
I think DH and I have decided if the fluid level has increased on Tuesday we we go back then we will be having the CVS test done - as ultimately this could provide us with answers to why we keep having losses even though we have two healthy boys.
Every time I look at my baby scan it reduces me to tears. I feel numb with pain and the not knowing is breaking me in two