Hi. ntnp for #2

[Toms Mummy]

Sorry for BFN DCS... Has your AF started yet or are you still in for Sept?

I'm not an INTG fan, although Tom laughs his head off when they're sliding all over the place in the Ninky Nonk! :doh:..... I'm a fan of Ben and Holly though, they're touring the country at the end of the yr for the 1st time and coming t our local theatre which is great!

I've finished work for now, really tired today though. Had no patience with Tom for most of the day esp when he wouldn't put his waterproofs on!! Grrrrr!!... He loves jumping in puddles but not wearing the right kit for it! :doh: I think we're going to stick to soft play centres this week until the rain calms down a bit!

 

[caro103]

good plans toms mummy! we were at soft play this morning, it was kinda busy but not as bad as i feared it might be! i don't overly like itng either but Alex does , his big favourite is 'the hive', I wish they'd bring out some toys to go with it already!!

 

[Toms Mummy]

Ooh, we've not got the hive! I reckon that'd be a hit with Tom too! He loves buzzing around like a bee. We recently got Ant Bully which he likes but his fave at the mo is Rio and Ice Age!

I completely avoid any indoor play centres & swimming pols etc on weekends! I love being a sahm, so we can enjoy things when they're not heaving!

 

[caro103]

where are you based tomsmummy? have a feeling we already shared this but i can't remember The hive is actually one of those programs i don't mind watching either, its on disney junior , i've not seen rio or heard of ant bully!

Right better get back to work!

 

[Toms Mummy]

I'm in North West Wales, just outside Caernarfon. We're pretty lucky with things to do as it's a touristy area but it can get really busy sometimes!

 

[caro103]

ah cool, from you saying you can't get the hive i wondered if you weren't in the uk! hope your not getting washed away today :/ it looked pretty bad on the news!

 

[Toms Mummy]

I think I can... just not heard of it! Will look in Tesco though! Yeh rained non stop for 2 days so far! Luckily we live on a hill so it all drains away! x

 

[caro103]

that's lucky! it's finally stopped here. Eugh I feel rough today, Alex's cold has really got me , early night tonight i think!

you prob won't find the hive in tesco, its just a tv show atm i think, quite new out, i've had a look online for a dvd and they're £20!!

 

[Toms Mummy]

Oh dear! The cold is going around us too! My OH is the last to have it now and he's really milking it!!!

£20 for a dvd!!..... It's like when the bring out a disney classic again! I think I'll wait a bit thanks

 

[Toms Mummy]

Having a hard day today!.... My OH has had his contract cancelled at work. Luckily he has got another job (he's freelance/paye) it's more days away but it doesn't pay as much so I am going back to work properly.... which I can deal with as it's only 3 days a week and I enjoy my job.

Problem is though is that I always thought that my OH didn't really want another child after Tom, that was until he agreed a couple of months ago to try for another. Well today he has said that he doesn't really want another and felt pressured by me so said yes as we were doing well financially without me having to work. But now that is all up in the air he is now saying he doesn't want to try anymore

I'm confused myself now as I really want another child but I also understand where he's coming from, and I'm excited to go back to work! But if I leave it too long then the age gap is going to be too big!

 

[greenlady]

Hi toms mummy thats harsh. I can understand why that would upset you. Would you be able to afford 2 kids if you both worked? Could you still go back to work now anyway before you get pregnant? You dont need to tell them and it might not happen straight away anyway. I think he is just getting nervous because of the cancelled contract (which is understandable) but he could easily change his mind if he got another well paid contract! Is him getting a full time position an option?

My DH is still looking for work since we arrived here in Oz. He's chef and there's loads of jobs, but he is quite choosy about the type of kitchen he works in and the type of food e.g. he doesnt want to work in a chain pub or a place where they buy in loads of stuff. Anyway so he's just started as a casual at this nice little place with really fresh food but the pay isnt great. Its probably not long term anyway and its better than trekking around going to interviews and trials and not liking places! We are staying with my parents so saving on not having any rent, but until he gets income too we dont have a lot spare.

My point is that I have been feeling a bit nervous about ttc #2 as well because before we are properly settled a BFP might get mixed reactions. He definitely wants another and so do I its just the timing of it. But my other point is that things can change, and you just don't know where you'll be in 6 months time. You might find yourself with 2 good incomes and Tom almost at school and think why didnt we do that. Also being pregnant with a second would be a good incentive to knuckle down and save cash, and even if you don't Im sure you could make it work. I personally plan on basically poaching all my baby equipment from my SIL and other friends and cousins who have babies now and hardly buy anything new.

Sorry for the ramble I'm up really early and just waffling on! I hope you come to some sort of resolution. You might regret NOT having another baby but you probably wont regret having one.

PS North Wales is beautiful! Bit rainy though eh?

 

[Toms Mummy]

Thanks Greenlady.... we can afford a second on 2 salaries but my OH feels that if we're both going to work then why have another one and would prefer for me to stay at home, which is a nice thought and has been possible for the past couple of years, and as you say might be possible again in 6 months time!... I've said this to him but he's like well what if we can't! I say then I work, I can always get work!

I'm going to chat to him again today, he knows how much I want another one and like you say, although I love my job and want to progress in it I know I will always regret more not having another child, than progressing in a career!

Thanks for your ramble.... it's helped me understand that what I am thinking does make sense!

 

[greenlady]

You could still progress in your career after a second child. Thats what I plan to do anyway, I hope! I mean I will definitely go back at least part time after #2 because I like to work and really we need the income. Its nice he wants you to be at home but there's nothing wrong with working parents, its pretty common nowadays, its hard to survive on just one wage even without kids. I only know 3 stay at home mums (the rest work part or full time) and all 3 have done or are starting their own little business from home, is that a possibility for you?

 

[caro103]

tomsmummy, that's difficult. I agree with Greenlady and you're thoughts you may well regret not having another but will never regret having another, no matter what sacrifices you have to make.
I work, just part time but i actually find it quite good, means i really apprechiate the time i do have with LO whereas before days were getting a bit samey iykwim and he gets to go to nursery where he gets all the benefits of mixing with other kids etc which we'd not be able to afford if i didn't work. xxx

 

[DCS]

Hello ladies. Iv missed quite abit recently. Iv had a toddler attached to me and a oh who couldnt breath.

Toms mummy- im so sorry about your ohs contract. But I agree with u all about regreting not having another. Isit possible ( might have already been said) for you to go back to work now untill you are pg, and really save as much as possible? So when #2 did arrive you would have something saved so you could take extra time off? Have you had another chat with oh?

Carro- whats the hive? Does anything toy story related come on disney jnr? Im so sick of watching toy story 1,2&3. We got him buzz in star command for xmas im actually thinking about giving ut to him now.

Af turned up saturday. Ohwell.

 

[caro103]

aw sorry AF turned up DCS

The Hive is just a kids program with bees as the characters, they're only 5mins long so hold my sons attention, i've sky + a load so just repeat them he particularly loves the theme tune!, disney junior has mickey house, err not sure what else really, don't think i've seen anything toy story at all as they're just the films aren't they?

 

[Toms Mummy]

Aww, sorry about AF DCS... Roll on Oct!

Well we had another chat today and a few things work wise have changed! OH has decided not to take this 3 month contract due to distance, costs of travel compared to earnings etc.... From next week I will be the one working, 1st it was 3 days a week but with OH not working it'll now have to be 5 days!.... We could still ttc while I work as I know OH will find another contract but he says he's getting fed up of not having much money. He doesn't understand that I can work soon after mat leave ends!

 

[caro103]

hopefully he gets another contract very soon. Have you childcare for Tom if you both end up working?

 

[Toms Mummy]

We arranged childcare today actually! Tom was due to have a settling in period tomorrow ans start 3 days a week next week..... with me working those days and OH on this contract.

I've now cancelled the childcare, OH will look after him. If he gets another contract then we will have to see what happens.... if he's doing 2 weeks on 2 weeks off again then we can't justify me working as we'd still have topay for childcare when OH is as home, so not to lose lo's space!!

I think we should keep ttc and see what happens as we've never been without financially!

 

[Toms Mummy]

So feel like I've hyjacked the thread recently, sorry!

How is everyone else doing?.... DCS which cycle are you on now?

I am on CD8 today, so all going well and my OH comes to his senses! We will BD soon ...... I have told him that I am not going back on BC now I've come off it so it's up to him!