Hello everyone. I'm 44 and TTC for the first time ever. I'm in my first cycle so just started, but it's been a whirlwind month of research, reading, and obsessing. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my TTC efforts 100% confidential from family and friends (well, except from my BF, of course), so it's been a very strange month. Anyone who knows me even remotely would drop dead on the spot to know that
I'm deliberately trying to conceive. It's like hearing that George Clooney is deliberately looking for a wife. Yes, it would be that shocking.
Meanwhile, in many ways, my (thus far short) journey is probably very similar to many of yours. I, MissKnowItAllOmniscientBiotchFromHell
, had no clue that I'd have difficulty getting knocked up. I simply assumed that since I was healthy, active, a veritable Energizer Bunny, way too young and immature for my age, and regularly menstruating, that I'd conceive quickly. Little did I know that I was in a whole new category of womanhood all of a sudden. Apparently this is a very well kept secret, because not a soul ever told me anything about the quality and quantity of my eggs diving off a cliff past 40. I only found this out within the last month when I started researching what I need to do to prepare for pregnancy, only to read over and over and over again what has become a very tired mantra of "Oh Yeah, good luck
".
But I wouldn't be here if, like all of you ladies, I took the dour statistics and morbid naysaying to heart. I'm not saying I don't believe the statistics. Only that we don't need to be deterred by them. Because if there is anything I have noticed about the most successful people I know, it is not necessarily that they are super-gifted or super-smart, or super-lucky. What they are is undeterred by disappointment or terrible odds. I was not deterred by the nasty-ass nurse at my OB/GYN who took my call about scheduling my Day 3 panels. I could practically hear her over the phone slapping her HazMat suit on upon learning my age, as though she would catch the sterility plague from me through the phone lines.
So, BF and I are embarking on this journey together and hoping for the best, but we're prepared for disappointment and ultimately no baby. Despite wanting this baby more than anything else in the world, I've also made my peace with it perhaps not being my destiny, and I can accept that. I have drilled into BF that this could take a very long time, and be frought with heartbreak. I told him "COUNT ON at least two miscarriages. You have to be prepared for that. At our age, that's what we're signing up for." He warned me that even one miscarriage will take a huge emotional toll. I said I was prepared to pay that price in order to get to the one baby that makes it through healthy.
What I am doing to improve my chances:
charting
OPK
Chinese herbs from my acupuncturist
Weekly acupuncture with a certified fertility specialist
folic acid
will soon start on other supplements, such as CoQ10, L-Arginine, L-Cartinie, royal jelly, Bee pollen, etc.
Have gone 100% cold turkey on all caffeine and alcohol [I've been a coffee addict since 14, heretofore non-functional without 4 shots of espresso in the morning]
Cut waaaaaay back on glutens; more veggies and fruits
I gave up refined sugar 2 years ago, so that persists
I switched 1% milk with whole milk
Pilates 3 times a week to improve core power and enhance flexibility/stability
That's it so far. Sorry for the long post.
And does anyone else read BFN and BFP in their heads as Big Effing Negative/Positive? I don't know why I replace Fat with an unspeakable word. It must be that immaturity I already fessed up to....
Wishing all of you your heart's desire.
Good luck everyone ,
But its impossible not to be so excited. I will try to hold off on testing as long as possible..ya right! Who am I trying to kid..
