Is there anyone who is in there 40's ttc?

[Garnet]

Hello, I've been reading some posts and wanted to join in. I am freshly initiated into the 40/40 club and my DH will be 42 next month. We are still newlyweds with a total of 5 boys (19, 15, 11, 11, 11 (twins in there)) and wanting a child together (preferably a girl..lol). We have been ttc the past 2 years and became concerned a year ago when it didn't happen right away. The first summer I had an uncomfortable HSG because my cervix was a little closed due to scar tissue but everything looked perfect. Then we moved on to DH SA , where he lost the $100 bet and found that the swimmers were a lil slow and morphology wasn't that great. Dr. suggested IUI and vitamins. So, DH loaded up on his vitamins to improve swimmners, his b/p, and the fact that he smokes cigs...ughhh. He's been taking CoQ10, Fish Oil, Vit E, Multivitamin and his b/p meds. He did that from December and still taking them. I've been taking prenatal vitamins for 2 years and just started extra folic acid per Dr orders and lowered my b/p dosage with my Dr. Oh yeah...I also have FIBROMYALGIA, arthritis and back pain issues, but I'm a soldier. I had complete labs done and a saline HSG and I'm looking good and not pre-menopausal for a 40yr old newbie...even though I have been experiencing nite sweats, cycles are changing by a few days, and PMS (sorry babe) . I eat pretty well and have been trying to work out to lose weight and make it easier to push thru my painful days. DH swimmers on new SA are almost like Phelps now but still needs improving on morphology. While getting the results Friday, of new labs, Dr. states that we should start IUI on my next cycle, so... I mentioned I was on day 3 of cycle and should we start IUI process now. DH shouts yes before Dr could agree! So, I had my u/s, labs and will start clomid, for extra help, tomorrow night. Then another u/s on the 13th , etc etc. I have read & researched so much info, prayed and now I'm kind of relaxed and a little more confident...suprisingly. DH is acting all crazy about it and rushing me..lol! This is our first try with IUI and clomid. Hubby is supposed to try Proxeed or Conception XR. I'm hoping to remain calm and not get all worked up but in my mind time is ticking and WE REALLY WANT A GIRL!! [-0<

Welcome and good luck.

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi MrsP, I'm hoping this month i have broken it as I got a +OPK today at last. I think it is all delayed from my m/c but hopefully things can get back to normal now

i used to be regular every 28 days then in august they went wacky ive had 3 anulvatory cycles since then and this 1s looking the same xx

Mrs P, I can't remember (sorry, going senile ) are they giving you clomid then to try and get you to ovulate?

hi Stephie and welcome

no i cant get anything cos of my age and already having children i cant even get a referral to a fertility specialist and cant afford to go private so im on my own i do ovulate sumtimes has bloodtests have shown my partners sa was low but i do think i have other problems ive not had a wiff ov a bfp in 20 cycles and we dtd exactly on time but nothing its so frustrating when i see people i know moaning cos they got pregnant by accident wow an accident i would love to have xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Have you tried soy to help you ovulate MrsP?

 

[mrsp1969]

Have you tried soy to help you ovulate MrsP?

hi butterfly yes i tried soy from november to feb 1st 3 cycles af arrived cd22 then 4th af arrived cd 56 so im only taking folic acid at the moment im sure my tubes are blocked lol but will never know xx

 

[Donna210369]

Hey ladies, mind if I join you on the odd occasion?

I'm ntnp I think!!!!

Bit of background, i'm 43, dh is 33, I have an 18yr old ds and we have a 5yr old ds together. I've had 3 mc's in the past yr, first at 5wks, second at 9wks, 3rd at 11+1 wks. Last one hit me really hard. Got appointment with recurrent mc nurse on tuesday. We went on holiday a week after ERPC to Thailand and have decided to move there for one year so I can get my head together as I hate my job, have had a really crappy year and need to get away from the real world for a while. While I was pg I had really bad hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) had it with both my boys too and swore that I could never go through a pg again as I was so ill. BUT now that i've lost my baby I'm not sure I can not ttc again. Dh wants us to wait till we get to Thailand in July before we ttc so it doesn't prevent the move out there, but we're not preventing so I guess he's not totally against me falling pg now. I on the other hand have no idea what I want to do. I'm so scared of falling pg again, partly due to hyperemesis but mostly because I can't go through another mc, but am also scared of not fullfilling my dream. So I think we're currently ntnp. It's great to see some ladies my age ttc and I was also shocked that I was 'old' in the fertility world. I'm a nurse and I had no idea, so it really is a well kept secret.

Good luck to you all and I hope you get your sticky beans soon xx

 

[marathongirl]

Hey ladies, mind if I join you on the odd occasion?

I'm ntnp I think!!!!

Bit of background, i'm 43, dh is 33, I have an 18yr old ds and we have a 5yr old ds together. I've had 3 mc's in the past yr, first at 5wks, second at 9wks, 3rd at 11+1 wks. Last one hit me really hard. Got appointment with recurrent mc nurse on tuesday. We went on holiday a week after ERPC to Thailand and have decided to move there for one year so I can get my head together as I hate my job, have had a really crappy year and need to get away from the real world for a while. While I was pg I had really bad hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) had it with both my boys too and swore that I could never go through a pg again as I was so ill. BUT now that i've lost my baby I'm not sure I can not ttc again. Dh wants us to wait till we get to Thailand in July before we ttc so it doesn't prevent the move out there, but we're not preventing so I guess he's not totally against me falling pg now. I on the other hand have no idea what I want to do. I'm so scared of falling pg again, partly due to hyperemesis but mostly because I can't go through another mc, but am also scared of not fullfilling my dream. So I think we're currently ntnp. It's great to see some ladies my age ttc and I was also shocked that I was 'old' in the fertility world. I'm a nurse and I had no idea, so it really is a well kept secret.

Good luck to you all and I hope you get your sticky beans soon xx

Welcome Donna
So sorry for your losses no one could ever imagine the pain unless they have been through it. I am 42 and had a mc last Nov at 12 weeks. I was devastated and have been TTC since with 2 other chemical pregnancies. Never had any problems with my 2 older children, 2 pregnancies and 2 healthy babies? I hope you get your sticky bean soon.

 

[Garnet]

Hey ladies, mind if I join you on the odd occasion?

I'm ntnp I think!!!!

Bit of background, i'm 43, dh is 33, I have an 18yr old ds and we have a 5yr old ds together. I've had 3 mc's in the past yr, first at 5wks, second at 9wks, 3rd at 11+1 wks. Last one hit me really hard. Got appointment with recurrent mc nurse on tuesday. We went on holiday a week after ERPC to Thailand and have decided to move there for one year so I can get my head together as I hate my job, have had a really crappy year and need to get away from the real world for a while. While I was pg I had really bad hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) had it with both my boys too and swore that I could never go through a pg again as I was so ill. BUT now that i've lost my baby I'm not sure I can not ttc again. Dh wants us to wait till we get to Thailand in July before we ttc so it doesn't prevent the move out there, but we're not preventing so I guess he's not totally against me falling pg now. I on the other hand have no idea what I want to do. I'm so scared of falling pg again, partly due to hyperemesis but mostly because I can't go through another mc, but am also scared of not fullfilling my dream. So I think we're currently ntnp. It's great to see some ladies my age ttc and I was also shocked that I was 'old' in the fertility world. I'm a nurse and I had no idea, so it really is a well kept secret.

Good luck to you all and I hope you get your sticky beans soon xx

Welcome Donna,
Glad to see a medical professional that doesn't think we are old. At my 10 week appt wit my last pregnancy, the Dr. On the first Appt. Made it clear that this baby probably would not make it to the next trimester because of my age. My baby boy made it to 17.5 day a but he had Trisomy 18 so we chose to to have a D&E because he had complications too. I was in shock that that Doctor would tell me that and I felt it kinda curse my pregnancy . I am going to try one more time then I'm done. Glad that you can go experience something different and clear you head while you com template your future. Good luck

 

[Desperado167]

Hi donna So sorry u had another loss ,I remember you from the other thread ,welcome aboard and lets get those sticky beans ,

 

[mrsp1969]

Hey ladies, mind if I join you on the odd occasion?

I'm ntnp I think!!!!

Bit of background, i'm 43, dh is 33, I have an 18yr old ds and we have a 5yr old ds together. I've had 3 mc's in the past yr, first at 5wks, second at 9wks, 3rd at 11+1 wks. Last one hit me really hard. Got appointment with recurrent mc nurse on tuesday. We went on holiday a week after ERPC to Thailand and have decided to move there for one year so I can get my head together as I hate my job, have had a really crappy year and need to get away from the real world for a while. While I was pg I had really bad hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) had it with both my boys too and swore that I could never go through a pg again as I was so ill. BUT now that i've lost my baby I'm not sure I can not ttc again. Dh wants us to wait till we get to Thailand in July before we ttc so it doesn't prevent the move out there, but we're not preventing so I guess he's not totally against me falling pg now. I on the other hand have no idea what I want to do. I'm so scared of falling pg again, partly due to hyperemesis but mostly because I can't go through another mc, but am also scared of not fullfilling my dream. So I think we're currently ntnp. It's great to see some ladies my age ttc and I was also shocked that I was 'old' in the fertility world. I'm a nurse and I had no idea, so it really is a well kept secret.

Good luck to you all and I hope you get your sticky beans soon xx

welcome donna xx

 

[Deco]

Hi Deco and welcome - your post could almost have been written by me

I did manage to get pg at 44 but had an m/c just over a month ago. I'm now waiting to try again but it is tricky as I have to be able to get to my volunteer ex 70 miles away at the drop of an OPK! I had one anovulatory cycle after the m/c and thought this was one too but it seems I might O today or tomorrow. Am hoping tomorrow is not too late to go try catch the egg as he is not free today.

Anyway, you seem to have it all sorted! it took me 9 tries to get pg which I was pretty happy about (although might not have been at the point in time I decided I wanted a ) so I am still optimistic this might happen if I can only have at the right time!

Hello butterfly67. You must have a wonderful relationship with the ex. IS there any way to take, ahem... "samples" and store them for a day or two? or do they pretty much perish right away out of the body?

Either way, wishing you perfect timing and a BFP very soon.

 

[Deco]

Garnet, I'm so so sorry about your doc's horrid comment. It got my blood boiling. I don't care if he turned out to be right or wrong. this is one of those things you don't want to be right about, and if all he had to go on at the time was your age, then there was no imperative to make that prediction. Are you still going to the same doc?

I had my annual gyno exam today and I was ready to terminate my 13 year relationship with her if she did not respond well to my announcement that I was TTC. Happily, she was pretty chill about it. Didn't fall off her chair, her eyes didn't pop out of her head, her jaw did not fall to the floor. She looked at my Day 3 test results and said go for it, but know that a much greater percentage of my eggs will be abnormal because of age. Nothing new there.

Interestingly, I asked her if it made sense for me to hyper-stimulate my ovaries so I get multiple eggs released each cycle. Just to let the boys have more targets to shoot at. She said she did not recommend it, because that kind of hyper-stimulation also messes with cervical mucus, and she did not see a net gain to doing so. So I may have tons of eggs floating down the f. tubes, but the swimmers wont be making it up there to greet them because of the poor mucus. She thought the hyper-stimulation would make sense if I going for IUI or IVF, but since I wasn't I should just try naturally.

I didn't think to ask her if preseed would address the mucus deterioration with multiple egg stimulation, or if there were other downsides to hyper-stimulation that negated the benefits of multiple eggs in natural conception. Anyone know the answer to this off the top of your head?

 

[mrsp1969]

Garnet, I'm so so sorry about your doc's horrid comment. It got my blood boiling. I don't care if he turned out to be right or wrong. this is one of those things you don't want to be right about, and if all he had to go on at the time was your age, then there was no imperative to make that prediction. Are you still going to the same doc?

I had my annual gyno exam today and I was ready to terminate my 13 year relationship with her if she did not respond well to my announcement that I was TTC. Happily, she was pretty chill about it. Didn't fall off her chair, her eyes didn't pop out of her head, her jaw did not fall to the floor. She looked at my Day 3 test results and said go for it, but know that a much greater percentage of my eggs will be abnormal because of age. Nothing new there.

Interestingly, I asked her if it made sense for me to hyper-stimulate my ovaries so I get multiple eggs released each cycle. Just to let the boys have more targets to shoot at. She said she did not recommend it, because that kind of hyper-stimulation also messes with cervical mucus, and she did not see a net gain to doing so. So I may have tons of eggs floating down the f. tubes, but the swimmers wont be making it up there to greet them because of the poor mucus. She thought the hyper-stimulation would make sense if I going for IUI or IVF, but since I wasn't I should just try naturally.

I didn't think to ask her if preseed would address the mucus deterioration with multiple egg stimulation, or if there were other downsides to hyper-stimulation that negated the benefits of multiple eggs in natural conception. Anyone know the answer to this off the top of your head?

some drs can be so insensitive the practise i use has 8 doctors there i chose to see the 1 lady doctor and she was awful she arranged bloodtests 4 me to check ovulation and said they were within range 7 months later i went for a smear and the nurse was lovely when i explained i was ttc she went over the tests with me and i was amazed that i had not ovulated once in the 6 months i was so angry i went back to see the dr and she had the cheek to ask why i wanted another at my age i have not been back since xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi Deco and welcome - your post could almost have been written by me

I did manage to get pg at 44 but had an m/c just over a month ago. I'm now waiting to try again but it is tricky as I have to be able to get to my volunteer ex 70 miles away at the drop of an OPK! I had one anovulatory cycle after the m/c and thought this was one too but it seems I might O today or tomorrow. Am hoping tomorrow is not too late to go try catch the egg as he is not free today.

Anyway, you seem to have it all sorted! it took me 9 tries to get pg which I was pretty happy about (although might not have been at the point in time I decided I wanted a ) so I am still optimistic this might happen if I can only have at the right time!

Hello butterfly67. You must have a wonderful relationship with the ex. IS there any way to take, ahem... "samples" and store them for a day or two? or do they pretty much perish right away out of the body?

Either way, wishing you perfect timing and a BFP very soon.

Thanks Deco

yes, we have a great relationship and he is really good at dropping stuff at the last minute a he knows timing is key.

I wish there was a way to store the 'goods' but I think that you can only freeze them with certain chemicals at a really low temperature. However, I would be happy to hear if anyone has any info contrary to this

Donna, welcome back, I also remember you for a while back So sorry about your losses and a move to Thailand sounds perfect

 

[marathongirl]

I really can't believe some doctors. What the.... I'm amazed they can still practice. I was asked the very same thing after my mc in Nov by my doctor"why do you want to have another baby at your age?!!" Completely clueless to your feelings. I also got all of the warnings about my age and how likely it was that the pregnancy would be doomed. Sadly they were right but we all know or have heard of women who at 42,43 44 45 who go on to have healthy babies. I did not relax the whole pregnancy even after hearing a strong hb at 10 weeks. I know for sure when I get my BFP I will make myself be more relaxed about it because in the end worrying about it won't do anything and you might as well enjoy it.

 

[Stephie7]

It is unfortunate that you all experienced such responses from your Drs. They are supposed to be empathetic and educating, not scolding you and making you feel like Sara and Abraham! Heck, they conceived!!! lol. I have been working with my Ob/Gyn, my Fam Practice Dr, Rheumatologist and Fertility Specialist and they all have been great and encouraging. I've even had some new people come into my life that gave their testimonies of having their last child after the age of 43 and doing great. WE ALL NEED TO....Stay encouraged and keep the faith.!!!

 

[Stephie7]

Butterfly67 there is a way to retrieve sperm and freeze it from home. Google it. There's one place called cryochoice. Take a look and see if that can help.

 

[Butterfly67]

Butterfly67 there is a way to retrieve sperm and freeze it from home. Google it. There's one place called cryochoice. Take a look and see if that can help.

Thanks Stephie I can only find places in the US though. I wonder if it is because of the laws they have here about donor insemination that they are not allowed to sell freeze at home packs

 

[cheshirecat]

Hi Ladies

Can I join you, I'm 45 and ttc our 3rd child, I have 2 boys 7 and 9, and really feel quite desperate today

I'll read back all of your comments this affy.

xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi and welcome CheshireCat

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi Ladies

Can I join you, I'm 45 and ttc our 3rd child, I have 2 boys 7 and 9, and really feel quite desperate today

I'll read back all of your comments this affy.

xx

welcome cheshire cat :wave: xx