Is there anyone who is in there 40's ttc?

[mrsp1969]

Hello everyone. I'm 44 and TTC for the first time ever. I'm in my first cycle so just started, but it's been a whirlwind month of research, reading, and obsessing. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my TTC efforts 100% confidential from family and friends (well, except from my BF, of course), so it's been a very strange month. Anyone who knows me even remotely would drop dead on the spot to know that I'm deliberately trying to conceive. It's like hearing that George Clooney is deliberately looking for a wife. Yes, it would be that shocking.

Meanwhile, in many ways, my (thus far short) journey is probably very similar to many of yours. I, MissKnowItAllOmniscientBiotchFromHell, had no clue that I'd have difficulty getting knocked up. I simply assumed that since I was healthy, active, a veritable Energizer Bunny, way too young and immature for my age, and regularly menstruating, that I'd conceive quickly. Little did I know that I was in a whole new category of womanhood all of a sudden. Apparently this is a very well kept secret, because not a soul ever told me anything about the quality and quantity of my eggs diving off a cliff past 40. I only found this out within the last month when I started researching what I need to do to prepare for pregnancy, only to read over and over and over again what has become a very tired mantra of "Oh Yeah, good luck ".

But I wouldn't be here if, like all of you ladies, I took the dour statistics and morbid naysaying to heart. I'm not saying I don't believe the statistics. Only that we don't need to be deterred by them. Because if there is anything I have noticed about the most successful people I know, it is not necessarily that they are super-gifted or super-smart, or super-lucky. What they are is undeterred by disappointment or terrible odds. I was not deterred by the nasty-ass nurse at my OB/GYN who took my call about scheduling my Day 3 panels. I could practically hear her over the phone slapping her HazMat suit on upon learning my age, as though she would catch the sterility plague from me through the phone lines.

So, BF and I are embarking on this journey together and hoping for the best, but we're prepared for disappointment and ultimately no baby. Despite wanting this baby more than anything else in the world, I've also made my peace with it perhaps not being my destiny, and I can accept that. I have drilled into BF that this could take a very long time, and be frought with heartbreak. I told him "COUNT ON at least two miscarriages. You have to be prepared for that. At our age, that's what we're signing up for." He warned me that even one miscarriage will take a huge emotional toll. I said I was prepared to pay that price in order to get to the one baby that makes it through healthy.

What I am doing to improve my chances:

charting
OPK
Chinese herbs from my acupuncturist
Weekly acupuncture with a certified fertility specialist
folic acid
will soon start on other supplements, such as CoQ10, L-Arginine, L-Cartinie, royal jelly, Bee pollen, etc.
Have gone 100% cold turkey on all caffeine and alcohol [I've been a coffee addict since 14, heretofore non-functional without 4 shots of espresso in the morning]
Cut waaaaaay back on glutens; more veggies and fruits
I gave up refined sugar 2 years ago, so that persists
I switched 1% milk with whole milk
Pilates 3 times a week to improve core power and enhance flexibility/stability

That's it so far. Sorry for the long post.

And does anyone else read BFN and BFP in their heads as Big Effing Negative/Positive? I don't know why I replace Fat with an unspeakable word. It must be that immaturity I already fessed up to....

Wishing all of you your heart's desire.

welcome deco i hope you get ur bfp i myself took it for granted that i could easily get pregnant i had my coil removed 21 months ago changed from full time to pt work all in preperation for the baby i would have 9 months later and here i am 21 cycles later still trying and praying xx

 

[mrsp1969]

Welcome Deco,
You know it would be wonderful if someone in this group would carry and deliver a baby at our age. There are at least two women on the 35 +pregnancy section that had a baby at 43,44 after several MC so we do have a wee bit of hope. I had a baby at 39/40 but have had 2 MC and 1D &E and we are trying one more time then stopping at 45. Want to wish you luck and maybe you will be a lucky one.

i still have a bit of hope left 4 of my school friends on facebook have had babys this year the last 1 on tuesday i am happy for them but wish with all my heart it could be my turn a lot ov people have asked why i want another at my age well i was in a violent relationship for 25 years i finally plucked up the courage to leave and by fate met up with 1 ov my best friends from my teens mark when we both confessed how strong our feeling for each other had been back then but i was too shy and silly to say anything and he was the same he truely is my soulmate we so would love to have a baby together he has 3 daughters and i have 2 sons and a daughter fxed we all get our wish xx

 

[never2late70]

Welcome Deco,
You know it would be wonderful if someone in this group would carry and deliver a baby at our age. There are at least two women on the 35 +pregnancy section that had a baby at 43,44 after several MC so we do have a wee bit of hope. I had a baby at 39/40 but have had 2 MC and 1D &E and we are trying one more time then stopping at 45. Want to wish you luck and maybe you will be a lucky one.

i still have a bit of hope left 4 of my school friends on facebook have had babys this year the last 1 on tuesday i am happy for them but wish with all my heart it could be my turn a lot ov people have asked why i want another at my age well i was in a violent relationship for 25 years i finally plucked up the courage to leave and by fate met up with 1 ov my best friends from my teens mark when we both confessed how strong our feeling for each other had been back then but i was too shy and silly to say anything and he was the same he truely is my soulmate we so would love to have a baby together he has 3 daughters and i have 2 sons and a daughter fxed we all get our wish xx

FX'D

 

[Garnet]

Welcome Deco,
You know it would be wonderful if someone in this group would carry and deliver a baby at our age. There are at least two women on the 35 +pregnancy section that had a baby at 43,44 after several MC so we do have a wee bit of hope. I had a baby at 39/40 but have had 2 MC and 1D &E and we are trying one more time then stopping at 45. Want to wish you luck and maybe you will be a lucky one.

i still have a bit of hope left 4 of my school friends on facebook have had babys this year the last 1 on tuesday i am happy for them but wish with all my heart it could be my turn a lot ov people have asked why i want another at my age well i was in a violent relationship for 25 years i finally plucked up the courage to leave and by fate met up with 1 ov my best friends from my teens mark when we both confessed how strong our feeling for each other had been back then but i was too shy and silly to say anything and he was the same he truely is my soulmate we so would love to have a baby together he has 3 daughters and i have 2 sons and a daughter fxed we all get our wish xx

That is wonderful. I was married before when I was younger and had two older kids then met my husband at 35 and had two kids but we have been trying for our third and final for 3 years...

 

[mrsp1969]

Welcome Deco,
You know it would be wonderful if someone in this group would carry and deliver a baby at our age. There are at least two women on the 35 +pregnancy section that had a baby at 43,44 after several MC so we do have a wee bit of hope. I had a baby at 39/40 but have had 2 MC and 1D &E and we are trying one more time then stopping at 45. Want to wish you luck and maybe you will be a lucky one.

i still have a bit of hope left 4 of my school friends on facebook have had babys this year the last 1 on tuesday i am happy for them but wish with all my heart it could be my turn a lot ov people have asked why i want another at my age well i was in a violent relationship for 25 years i finally plucked up the courage to leave and by fate met up with 1 ov my best friends from my teens mark when we both confessed how strong our feeling for each other had been back then but i was too shy and silly to say anything and he was the same he truely is my soulmate we so would love to have a baby together he has 3 daughters and i have 2 sons and a daughter fxed we all get our wish xx

That is wonderful. I was married before when I was younger and had two older kids then met my husband at 35 and had two kids but we have been trying for our third and final for 3 years...

i really hope this is both our turns this year i went to see a medium 5 years ago was really strange she told me i would meet up with my soulmate again has i had known him but missed my chance and she saw me with a baby boy the 1st part came true i hope she is right about the baby xx

 

[LLbean]

FXd for you, what a sweet story

 

[Deco]

i really hope this is both our turns this year i went to see a medium 5 years ago was really strange she told me i would meet up with my soulmate again has i had known him but missed my chance and she saw me with a baby boy the 1st part came true i hope she is right about the baby xx

Yours is a very heartwarming story. Not the early party, but where you are now, and hopefully even more where you are headed from here. I am so believing your medium!

My prior relationship began when I was 22 and lasted 20 years. We were never married, as I couldn't for the life of me envision him as a husband, much less a father. He was a typical self-obsessed narcissist/sociopath. Not what I thought of as a nurturing father type. Our relationship ended when I was 42 (he, at 48, left me for our 32 year old massage therapist who gave us massages at our house once a week.... gives new meaning to "happy ending" ). The breakup was harrowing and bone-chilling, but while it was going on, I never breathed a word about it to anyone. And yet out of the blue and without any clue on what was going on, my sister had two back to back vivid dreams that my ex and I were breaking up. Months later when I told her my ex and I were over, I also commented for the first time that she had forseen it and her dreams were true. I said "dang, sis, from now on I'm gonna be watching your dreams like a HAWK!!"

It wasn't until I met my current dude that I started wanting kids. he is such an awesome dad, and such an awesome mate to me, that I have for the first time in my life wanted a child, a family with someone. And of course, creepy dream sister strikes again! She had a dream less than a year ago that I was hugely pregnant, and walking about very pleased with myself and completely chill about the situation. In her dream, she's stunned because this is so contrary to what she knows of me and can't imagine how I could have let that happen to me. And she's even more stunned by how matter of fact and pleased I am with my state. I'm very much hoping I can someday reveal to her that that dream was prescient as well. But whether her psyche was seeing the future or picking up on my hidden desires, the fact remains that even wanting a child (whether or not I succeed in my mission) has already changed me forever.

 

[mrsp1969]

i really hope this is both our turns this year i went to see a medium 5 years ago was really strange she told me i would meet up with my soulmate again has i had known him but missed my chance and she saw me with a baby boy the 1st part came true i hope she is right about the baby xx

Yours is a very heartwarming story. Not the early party, but where you are now, and hopefully even more where you are headed from here. I am so believing your medium!

My prior relationship began when I was 22 and lasted 20 years. We were never married, as I couldn't for the life of me envision him as a husband, much less a father. He was a typical self-obsessed narcissist/sociopath. Not what I thought of as a nurturing father type. Our relationship ended when I was 42 (he, at 48, left me for our 32 year old massage therapist who gave us massages at our house once a week.... gives new meaning to "happy ending" ). The breakup was harrowing and bone-chilling, but while it was going on, I never breathed a word about it to anyone. And yet out of the blue and without any clue on what was going on, my sister had two back to back vivid dreams that my ex and I were breaking up. Months later when I told her my ex and I were over, I also commented for the first time that she had forseen it and her dreams were true. I said "dang, sis, from now on I'm gonna be watching your dreams like a HAWK!!"

It wasn't until I met my current dude that I started wanting kids. he is such an awesome dad, and such an awesome mate to me, that I have for the first time in my life wanted a child, a family with someone. And of course, creepy dream sister strikes again! She had a dream less than a year ago that I was hugely pregnant, and walking about very pleased with myself and completely chill about the situation. In her dream, she's stunned because this is so contrary to what she knows of me and can't imagine how I could have let that happen to me. And she's even more stunned by how matter of fact and pleased I am with my state. I'm very much hoping I can someday reveal to her that that dream was prescient as well. But whether her psyche was seeing the future or picking up on my hidden desires, the fact remains that even wanting a child (whether or not I succeed in my mission) has already changed me forever.

ireally really hope that it comes true for you xxx

 

[Garnet]

Hello Ladies,
How it going? AFM: I am moody as heck but tired maybe I just need coffee this morning...Also my ovaries hurt....

 

[mrsp1969]

Hello Ladies,
How it going? AFM: I am moody as heck but tired maybe I just need coffee this morning...Also my ovaries hurt....

morning garnet xx im feeling nothing at all i hope its not going to be another long 1 for me by cd 13 my boobs are usually hurting but zilch x

 

[LLbean]

Garnet I was tossing and turning all night so I am beat!

 

[Garnet]

Hello Ladies,
How it going? AFM: I am moody as heck but tired maybe I just need coffee this morning...Also my ovaries hurt....

morning garnet xx im feeling nothing at all i hope its not going to be another long 1 for me by cd 13 my boobs are usually hurting but zilch x

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi Deco and welcome - your post could almost have been written by me

I did manage to get pg at 44 but had an m/c just over a month ago. I'm now waiting to try again but it is tricky as I have to be able to get to my volunteer ex 70 miles away at the drop of an OPK! I had one anovulatory cycle after the m/c and thought this was one too but it seems I might O today or tomorrow. Am hoping tomorrow is not too late to go try catch the egg as he is not free today.

Anyway, you seem to have it all sorted! it took me 9 tries to get pg which I was pretty happy about (although might not have been at the point in time I decided I wanted a ) so I am still optimistic this might happen if I can only have at the right time!

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi Deco and welcome - your post could almost have been written by me

I did manage to get pg at 44 but had an m/c just over a month ago. I'm now waiting to try again but it is tricky as I have to be able to get to my volunteer ex 70 miles away at the drop of an OPK! I had one anovulatory cycle after the m/c and thought this was one too but it seems I might O today or tomorrow. Am hoping tomorrow is not too late to go try catch the egg as he is not free today.

Anyway, you seem to have it all sorted! it took me 9 tries to get pg which I was pretty happy about (although might not have been at the point in time I decided I wanted a ) so I am still optimistic this might happen if I can only have at the right time!

hi butterfly i read your ttc blog and i suffer from anulvatory cycles too my longest being 92 days strange how they only started when i am ttc xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi MrsP, I'm hoping this month i have broken it as I got a +OPK today at last. I think it is all delayed from my m/c but hopefully things can get back to normal now

 

[Stephie7]

Hello, I've been reading some posts and wanted to join in. I am freshly initiated into the 40/40 club and my DH will be 42 next month. We are still newlyweds with a total of 5 boys (19, 15, 11, 11, 11 (twins in there)) and wanting a child together (preferably a girl..lol). We have been ttc the past 2 years and became concerned a year ago when it didn't happen right away. The first summer I had an uncomfortable HSG because my cervix was a little closed due to scar tissue but everything looked perfect. Then we moved on to DH SA , where he lost the $100 bet and found that the swimmers were a lil slow and morphology wasn't that great. Dr. suggested IUI and vitamins. So, DH loaded up on his vitamins to improve swimmners, his b/p, and the fact that he smokes cigs...ughhh. He's been taking CoQ10, Fish Oil, Vit E, Multivitamin and his b/p meds. He did that from December and still taking them. I've been taking prenatal vitamins for 2 years and just started extra folic acid per Dr orders and lowered my b/p dosage with my Dr. Oh yeah...I also have FIBROMYALGIA, arthritis and back pain issues, but I'm a soldier. I had complete labs done and a saline HSG and I'm looking good and not pre-menopausal for a 40yr old newbie...even though I have been experiencing nite sweats, cycles are changing by a few days, and PMS (sorry babe) . I eat pretty well and have been trying to work out to lose weight and make it easier to push thru my painful days. DH swimmers on new SA are almost like Phelps now but still needs improving on morphology. While getting the results Friday, of new labs, Dr. states that we should start IUI on my next cycle, so... I mentioned I was on day 3 of cycle and should we start IUI process now. DH shouts yes before Dr could agree! So, I had my u/s, labs and will start clomid, for extra help, tomorrow night. Then another u/s on the 13th , etc etc. I have read & researched so much info, prayed and now I'm kind of relaxed and a little more confident...suprisingly. DH is acting all crazy about it and rushing me..lol! This is our first try with IUI and clomid. Hubby is supposed to try Proxeed or Conception XR. I'm hoping to remain calm and not get all worked up but in my mind time is ticking and WE REALLY WANT A GIRL!! [-0<

 

[mrsp1969]

Hello, I've been reading some posts and wanted to join in. I am freshly initiated into the 40/40 club and my DH will be 42 next month. We are still newlyweds with a total of 5 boys (19, 15, 11, 11, 11 (twins in there)) and wanting a child together (preferably a girl..lol). We have been ttc the past 2 years and became concerned a year ago when it didn't happen right away. The first summer I had an uncomfortable HSG because my cervix was a little closed due to scar tissue but everything looked perfect. Then we moved on to DH SA , where he lost the $100 bet and found that the swimmers were a lil slow and morphology wasn't that great. Dr. suggested IUI and vitamins. So, DH loaded up on his vitamins to improve swimmners, his b/p, and the fact that he smokes cigs...ughhh. He's been taking CoQ10, Fish Oil, Vit E, Multivitamin and his b/p meds. He did that from December and still taking them. I've been taking prenatal vitamins for 2 years and just started extra folic acid per Dr orders and lowered my b/p dosage with my Dr. Oh yeah...I also have FIBROMYALGIA, arthritis and back pain issues, but I'm a soldier. I had complete labs done and a saline HSG and I'm looking good and not pre-menopausal for a 40yr old newbie...even though I have been experiencing nite sweats, cycles are changing by a few days, and PMS (sorry babe) . I eat pretty well and have been trying to work out to lose weight and make it easier to push thru my painful days. DH swimmers on new SA are almost like Phelps now but still needs improving on morphology. While getting the results Friday, of new labs, Dr. states that we should start IUI on my next cycle, so... I mentioned I was on day 3 of cycle and should we start IUI process now. DH shouts yes before Dr could agree! So, I had my u/s, labs and will start clomid, for extra help, tomorrow night. Then another u/s on the 13th , etc etc. I have read & researched so much info, prayed and now I'm kind of relaxed and a little more confident...suprisingly. DH is acting all crazy about it and rushing me..lol! This is our first try with IUI and clomid. Hubby is supposed to try Proxeed or Conception XR. I'm hoping to remain calm and not get all worked up but in my mind time is ticking and WE REALLY WANT A GIRL!! [-0<

hi welcome stephie good luck fxed xxx

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi MrsP, I'm hoping this month i have broken it as I got a +OPK today at last. I think it is all delayed from my m/c but hopefully things can get back to normal now [/Q i used to be regular every 28 days then in august they went wacky ive had 3 anulvatory cycles since then and this 1s looking the same xx

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi MrsP, I'm hoping this month i have broken it as I got a +OPK today at last. I think it is all delayed from my m/c but hopefully things can get back to normal now [/Q i used to be regular every 28 days then in august they went wacky ive had 3 anulvatory cycles since then and this 1s looking the same xx

ive had bloodtests done and im not menapausal so god knows whats happening xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi MrsP, I'm hoping this month i have broken it as I got a +OPK today at last. I think it is all delayed from my m/c but hopefully things can get back to normal now

i used to be regular every 28 days then in august they went wacky ive had 3 anulvatory cycles since then and this 1s looking the same xx

Mrs P, I can't remember (sorry, going senile ) are they giving you clomid then to try and get you to ovulate?

hi Stephie and welcome