Is there anyone who is in there 40's ttc?

[Madeline]

hi Donna I am so sorry for your loss

I think miscarrying is a difficult process, disappointing, upsetting, draining. On the other hand it is natural selection, the reality of the biological process of procreation etc Looking at it as a biological process makes me more optimistic about it.

All we can do is keep trying and give ourselves the best chance I don't know if I will succeed but I do not want to regret not having tried.

My mc started today which is an enormous relief. I didn't know how I would feel about trying again but now that it has started I know I am super keen to try again

I have my fingers crossed for you Donna

Madeline xxx

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi ladies, sorry not posted for a while, have felt so low after losing our baby girl to Edwards syndrome (3rd mc in a row). But was interested to read Madeline's piece about fertility stats and wanted to write.

I have always been healthy and 'fertile'. At 23 I got pg within approx 2 days of coming off the pill. At 38 I got pg within 6 months even though dh was away at the crucial time for prob half of them. Both these resulted in healthy pg's.

I'm now 43 and have had just had another v early mc/ chemical pg this week. I have now fallen pg 4 times in 16 months but all of these have resulted in mc. I am sure its my age and that these are hard boiled eggs, but am quite sure there is the elusive 'golden egg' in there somewhere and am not prepared to give up yet.

No one except the fertility clinic have ever referred to my age as a problem. My mw at last booking in appointment told me I was not old, she had booked a lady in who was 52 and it was natural pg! The fertility clinic have always scared me regarding my age, but then they see ladies who go to them who have obviously got a fertility problem, they dont see all the women in their 40's who have got pg naturally with no problems. In a way I wish I'd never gone to them because it has just made me paranoid now but dh and I aren't going to give up yet.

We are considering donor eggs but at least it's an option for the future should the natural process not work out. A friend at work has just had a baby at 44 naturally, so it does happen. I work in a hospital and almost all of the staff I have spoken to about my situation tells me of someone they know who was older than me when they had healthy baby, so keep on going girls and thanks Madeline, all these things are encouraging xx

hi i agree i have 4 friends on facebook 3 the same age one 2 years older who have all had babies in the last 6 months i wont give up yet xx

 

[LLbean]

never give up!

 

[Garnet]

Hi ladies, sorry not posted for a while, have felt so low after losing our baby girl to Edwards syndrome (3rd mc in a row). But was interested to read Madeline's piece about fertility stats and wanted to write.

I have always been healthy and 'fertile'. At 23 I got pg within approx 2 days of coming off the pill. At 38 I got pg within 6 months even though dh was away at the crucial time for prob half of them. Both these resulted in healthy pg's.

I'm now 43 and have had just had another v early mc/ chemical pg this week. I have now fallen pg 4 times in 16 months but all of these have resulted in mc. I am sure its my age and that these are hard boiled eggs, but am quite sure there is the elusive 'golden egg' in there somewhere and am not prepared to give up yet.

No one except the fertility clinic have ever referred to my age as a problem. My mw at last booking in appointment told me I was not old, she had booked a lady in who was 52 and it was natural pg! The fertility clinic have always scared me regarding my age, but then they see ladies who go to them who have obviously got a fertility problem, they dont see all the women in their 40's who have got pg naturally with no problems. In a way I wish I'd never gone to them because it has just made me paranoid now but dh and I aren't going to give up yet.

We are considering donor eggs but at least it's an option for the future should the natural process not work out. A friend at work has just had a baby at 44 naturally, so it does happen. I work in a hospital and almost all of the staff I have spoken to about my situation tells me of someone they know who was older than me when they had healthy baby, so keep on going girls and thanks Madeline, all these things are encouraging xx

So sorry about you loss. Mine I believe was Trisomy 18/Edwards syndrome in December. Ys the has got be a golden egg in the mix. Well good luck if you decide to use a donor egg. Husband and i discussed it but it did not go anywhere cause he is againist it.

 

[Garnet]

hi Donna I am so sorry for your loss

I think miscarrying is a difficult process, disappointing, upsetting, draining. On the other hand it is natural selection, the reality of the biological process of procreation etc Looking at it as a biological process makes me more optimistic about it.

All we can do is keep trying and give ourselves the best chance I don't know if I will succeed but I do not want to regret not having tried.

My mc started today which is an enormous relief. I didn't know how I would feel about trying again but now that it has started I know I am super keen to try again

I have my fingers crossed for you Donna

Madeline xxx

Good luck Madeline.

 

[Donna210369]

Ah Madeline, sending you hugs xx

 

[minted69]

Hi, thought i would join the party if ok. Trying to conceive since i m/c in nov at 10wks. I am 42 and juzt about trying everything with no success, good luck to all

Lorna xx

 

[minted69]

You have made me laugh thank you soooooo much xxxx this is for marathongirl

 

[minted69]

Very funny. Thank youxx


QUOTE=mandy1971;16590843]

HI all

Marathongirl, thanks for asking about my running, it's going ok thanks. Managed another session this week after last week's hills and ran 20 min warm up followed by 10x1 min hard with 1 min recoveries and 10 min warm down. Felt good ....in a painful way, and painful in a good way! I'm meeting up with an old training partner/adversary on Sunday for a long run; I've told her to think of running with me as an act of charitable giving to those less fortunate!!!

Supplements, where to begin?! Currently:

Levothyroxine 125mg (since 2001, generally well regulated)
Viridian Pre-conception vitamin
Fish oil
CoQ10 600mg (since Jan 2012)
DHEA 75mg (since mid 0211)
Flaxseed oil

Bitten the dust along the way!!!:

B Complex (current multivitamin has about 5000% RDA B6 and/or B12)
EPO
Iron
Magnesium
Selenium
Vitamin E
Vitamin D
L-Arginine
Brewer's Yeast
NAC
Herbal medicine
Acupuncture
Reflexology
Instead softcups
Preseed
......plus about 10 other things that I've paid a fortune for and forgotten.

I actually plan to let all the supplements laspe as they run out as I have decided that none has really provided any benefit and have simply deprived my family of several thousand pounds along the way of trying to 'fix' myself since last mc. (One of my pet hates on BnB is those people who tune in 'to give us hope' with the magical ingredient they believe worked for them, usually after they've been ttc for all of 3 months!) In truth, after trying to get pregnant throughout 2010, I categorically recall having decided that this was just not meant to be in July of that year and then I fell pregnant in August. My mindset since the mc in November 2010 could not be more different to that 'que sera' attitude and I am certain that my biggest inhibitor has been stress and trying too hard. Attempting to get back to that laissez faire place is something I would love to do, but I know the damage is done and I must now learn to move forward from a very different place. Tough, but keep the faith ladies

PS I am now hairy, grumpy and spotty, in fact, I'm amazed my husband can even be persuaded to BD at all!!!

[/QUOTE]

 

[Garnet]

Hi, thought i would join the party if ok. Trying to conceive since i m/c in nov at 10wks. I am 42 and juzt about trying everything with no success, good luck to all

Lorna xx

Welcome and join us.

 

[Madeline]

Hi Garnet, Donna, Desperado, Spoomie, MrsP,Malaguetta, Jax, LBean,Minted, marathongirl,

and everyone else

sorry for your loss minted I have my fingers crossed for you that you will succeed

thankyou for all your support things are going ok here day 2 of mc not much happened today so may take a few more days. Have a bit of flu which is boring so no running today but hopefully I will feel up to it tomoro.

How is everyone else going? Anyone testing soon?

Madeline xxx

 

[JLondon]

hi everyone

Here are some quotes on fertility and age I thought you could find interesting ;

"According to Dr. Kutluk Oktay, a reproductive endocrinologist at New York Medical College-Westchester Medical Center, who studies fertility preservation and diminished egg reserve, the rates of “spontaneous pregnancy” might actually be higher, since lower stats are often influenced by studies with women experiencing fertility problems. A healthy 43-year-old woman could expect her chances of conceiving naturally to be closer to 3 to 5 percent during a given cycle, he argues."

"Dr. Richard Paulson, a fertility specialist at the University of Southern California Medical School, agreed there was a lack of data of natural conception for fertile women over 40. He said he’d heard so many anecdotes about 43-year-old women getting pregnant on their own that he estimated the number could be much higher."

"The second factor is that such statistics are averages. They might include the woman who underwent premature menopause in her mid-30s as well as Fertile Myrtle who reproduced well into her 40s. Every woman is different, and she should never rely on these figures to make important fertility decisions. Paulson says “... we just don’t know how many 43-year-olds are getting pregnant naturally in the privacy of their own bedrooms.” ( "Reille Hunter Beat the Odds" by Sarah Elizabeth Richards Health & Science 2009)

There is so much negative generalisation online re women's fertility in the 30's and forties I thought it was important to point out that they just don't have the research to back it up and further that many of the comments come from fertility specialists engaged in IVF who arguable have a conflict of interest on this issue.

I wonder myself how different this experience of TTC would be if we were allowed to approach it as though it was perfectly natural and we could be as relaxed about it as anyone else....


Madeline xxx

I am on day 3 of my miscarriage, it is all pretty much over now and I am just tired and coming to terms with it. I just read the above post and wanted to say that I had no worries about getting pregnant at 40, I knew I would fall pregnant and I knew it wouldn't take me long, I just had a feeling! However I now feel a little differently due to a rather thoughtless young doctor at the hospital, who told me only half an hour after me finding out my baby had died at 6 weeks ( I should have been over 11) that perhaps I should consider an egg donor! I asked her if my egg could have been faulty and would that be the reason for my miscarriage and she said no, that would not have caused the mc. So I asked what she meant, and she said that at my age the eggs aren't always so great and it could take me a long time to get pregnant. I explained that I got pregnant in my second month of ttc'ing and she said that I should consider it if I didn't get pregnant again soon as it wouldn't be fair on the baby having an older Mum.... How dare she!!! I will be writing to the hospital to complain. I know I should just go back to my original way of thinking and just go for it, but she has got me worrying now about the state of my eggs!

 

[minted69]

Thank you maddy,
when i m/c in nov the whole process from start to finish was one week and it is mentally draining.
Goog luck xx

Sorry i dont want to bring you down,
sending you millions of

 

[minted69]

Jlondon
i cannot believe what a horrible spiteful woman she is. Make sure the complaint letter ticks all boxes
x

 

[Madeline]

thks minted hugs seem to work really well right now

JLondon by all means make a formal complaint the comment was ignorant and inappropriate. And irrelevant as you had no trouble conceiving and the literature clearly identifies at least one mc as a normal part of reproductive life.

As for the age comment I wouldn't even grace that with another thought

Madeline xxx

 

[mrsp1969]

hi everyone

Here are some quotes on fertility and age I thought you could find interesting ;

"According to Dr. Kutluk Oktay, a reproductive endocrinologist at New York Medical College-Westchester Medical Center, who studies fertility preservation and diminished egg reserve, the rates of “spontaneous pregnancy” might actually be higher, since lower stats are often influenced by studies with women experiencing fertility problems. A healthy 43-year-old woman could expect her chances of conceiving naturally to be closer to 3 to 5 percent during a given cycle, he argues."

"Dr. Richard Paulson, a fertility specialist at the University of Southern California Medical School, agreed there was a lack of data of natural conception for fertile women over 40. He said he’d heard so many anecdotes about 43-year-old women getting pregnant on their own that he estimated the number could be much higher."

"The second factor is that such statistics are averages. They might include the woman who underwent premature menopause in her mid-30s as well as Fertile Myrtle who reproduced well into her 40s. Every woman is different, and she should never rely on these figures to make important fertility decisions. Paulson says “... we just don’t know how many 43-year-olds are getting pregnant naturally in the privacy of their own bedrooms.” ( "Reille Hunter Beat the Odds" by Sarah Elizabeth Richards Health & Science 2009)

There is so much negative generalisation online re women's fertility in the 30's and forties I thought it was important to point out that they just don't have the research to back it up and further that many of the comments come from fertility specialists engaged in IVF who arguable have a conflict of interest on this issue.

I wonder myself how different this experience of TTC would be if we were allowed to approach it as though it was perfectly natural and we could be as relaxed about it as anyone else....


Madeline xxx

I am on day 3 of my miscarriage, it is all pretty much over now and I am just tired and coming to terms with it. I just read the above post and wanted to say that I had no worries about getting pregnant at 40, I knew I would fall pregnant and I knew it wouldn't take me long, I just had a feeling! However I now feel a little differently due to a rather thoughtless young doctor at the hospital, who told me only half an hour after me finding out my baby had died at 6 weeks ( I should have been over 11) that perhaps I should consider an egg donor! I asked her if my egg could have been faulty and would that be the reason for my miscarriage and she said no, that would not have caused the mc. So I asked what she meant, and she said that at my age the eggs aren't always so great and it could take me a long time to get pregnant. I explained that I got pregnant in my second month of ttc'ing and she said that I should consider it if I didn't get pregnant again soon as it wouldn't be fair on the baby having an older Mum.... How dare she!!! I will be writing to the hospital to complain. I know I should just go back to my original way of thinking and just go for it, but she has got me worrying now about the state of my eggs!

hi london and welcome my gp asked me why i wanted more kids at my age i had blood tests done every month and was told all was fine i went for my routine smear and spoke to the practise nurse who was lovely she went through my blood tests and i ovulated only twice in that 6 months i have since changed practice but still the same old story no referral to fs cos i have grown up children and my age xx also so sorry for your recent loss i hope you get a bfp soon xx

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi Garnet, Donna, Desperado, Spoomie, MrsP,Malaguetta, Jax, LBean,Minted, marathongirl,

and everyone else

sorry for your loss minted I have my fingers crossed for you that you will succeed

thankyou for all your support things are going ok here day 2 of mc not much happened today so may take a few more days. Have a bit of flu which is boring so no running today but hopefully I will feel up to it tomoro.

How is everyone else going? Anyone testing soon?

Madeline xxx

hi madeline im cd 15 dont think ive ovulated yet i only get sore boobs after got in plenty ov bd though lol x

 

[minted69]

Mrsp how r u
I am on cd10 doing opk, i have irregular cycles ranging from 19-48 days and havent got a clue for ovulation ever over months, any tips be grateful

 

[Madeline]

hi mrsP well you are clearly putting in all the hard work and practice makes perfect lol Bit of this and bit of this and it will b a great month

Madeline xxx

 

[Desperado167]

Omg jlondon how bloody rude was she ,I would def complain ,That's made me so angry ,sorry for your loss