Is there anyone who is in there 40's ttc?

[Deco]

hello to our newbies, BiltonBaby, Hopin&Prayin & baby6forme

. I'm sorry for the BFN's. this is shaking out to be a cruel cycle for many of us.

I myself was producing prodigious temps this cycle and was in utter amazement. Until my temp TANKED two days ago. My chart looks like one of those amusement park rides that slowly take you to the top to build up your suspense and excitement, and then drop you in an instant into free fall. So now I'm actively searching for signs of the who'll show her ugly head today or tomorrow.

Meanwhile, we've made our first appointment with an RE. They must be doing good business, since I couldn't get in until late July. DP is beside himself with impatience, doesn't understand why we have to wait so long to see her. I'm not particularly looking forward to it. I'll be subjected to all the doom and gloom statistics, and I'm in no mood for it. I know it's going to come down to IVF or nothing.

I've got the blahs.

love and baby dust to everyone.

And a big hug to marathongirl.

 

[mrsp1969]

hello to our newbies, BiltonBaby, Hopin&Prayin & baby6forme

. I'm sorry for the BFN's. this is shaking out to be a cruel cycle for many of us.

I myself was producing prodigious temps this cycle and was in utter amazement. Until my temp TANKED two days ago. My chart looks like one of those amusement park rides that slowly take you to the top to build up your suspense and excitement, and then drop you in an instant into free fall. So now I'm actively searching for signs of the who'll show her ugly head today or tomorrow.

Meanwhile, we've made our first appointment with an RE. They must be doing good business, since I couldn't get in until late July. DP is beside himself with impatience, doesn't understand why we have to wait so long to see her. I'm not particularly looking forward to it. I'll be subjected to all the doom and gloom statistics, and I'm in no mood for it. I know it's going to come down to IVF or nothing.

I've got the blahs.

love and baby dust to everyone.

And a big hug to marathongirl.

hi deco im with you with the witch boobs are killing me and have the cramps i know im out this month has we only managed to dtd twice and it was at the wrong time so on to cycle 23 !!wow just realised it will be 2 years for me next month xx

 

[dippycat]

Everybody seems so fed up atm. Sending you all big hugs. Plenty of over 40s have babies so we need to try to be positive. It is really tough going though.

What I am getting fed up with is symptoms every month that I never used to get before I was ttc. Sore bbs and feeling sick every day for a week or so is so unfair of mother nature! Still, at least this month I have been able to walk past lush without wanting to throw up...
Told dh to make the most of my bigger than normal bbs seeing as my temp has decided to drop

 

[Donna210369]

Hi ladies,

Hello to the new girls, nice to see you on here.

Sorry to all who got BFN's, everyone does sound really fed up this month and unfortunately i'm not able to contribute anything positive.

I woke up yesterday with pain on one side, dizziness, sickness and tiredness. I phoned my EPAU who wanted me to be seen in Cumbria (as that's where I was at the time). So I went to hospital, had a scan, measured at 5+3 but hcg levels indicated failing pg and starting to mc naturally at 11pm last night. I'm ok as was fully expecting it this time. So that's 5 mc's in a row now I'm not giving up though. I found a website that said at 43, 79% of eggs are rubbish, meaning 21% are good!! So the way i'm thinking, I've found quite a few of those 79% of bad eggs, so I must be on my way to finding one of the 21% of good ones.

Dont give up ladies. Big hugs to all xx

 

[dippycat]

Aw Donna

 

[Garnet]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

 

[never2late70]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

Hi Love:
Shit, I am ready to quit now, but my husband is not. That's because he has no children. I have 3 daughters and a grandson. Someone said the other day, when your kids start having kids its time to stop. I am 41 my husband is 39. He really wants to move on to IVF. With each passing month and each negative result, my enthusiam has faded.

ps..Generally I don't give a crap what people think, but when it comes to this we have opted NOT to tell anyone we are trying..Thank God. I couldn't bare everyone saying "Oh poor thing" and so on..

 

[isittoolate]

urgh having an odd cycle this month, decided to give conceive plus a go, been having ewcm for the last three days, but not a sniff on the opk. we are knackered and even though still have ew i am needing a break tonight! seeing my usual progression on the opks, but looks like despite the ewcm i think i must be a good 2 days at least off a positive opk.

dawned on me this morning, could it be the conceive plus from a couple of nights ago that is looking like ewcm or is it the real thing, i just have no idea!

 

[Desperado167]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

Don't ever give up on the hope g ,and def not for being embarrassed ,u have nothing to be embarrassed for ,it's not your fault But as Donna says we have all had these losses now surely the next eggs should be good ones ,keep going sweetie I am with you ,

 

[Desperado167]

Hi ladies,

Hello to the new girls, nice to see you on here.

Sorry to all who got BFN's, everyone does sound really fed up this month and unfortunately i'm not able to contribute anything positive.

I woke up yesterday with pain on one side, dizziness, sickness and tiredness. I phoned my EPAU who wanted me to be seen in Cumbria (as that's where I was at the time). So I went to hospital, had a scan, measured at 5+3 but hcg levels indicated failing pg and starting to mc naturally at 11pm last night. I'm ok as was fully expecting it this time. So that's 5 mc's in a row now I'm not giving up though. I found a website that said at 43, 79% of eggs are rubbish, meaning 21% are good!! So the way i'm thinking, I've found quite a few of those 79% of bad eggs, so I must be on my way to finding one of the 21% of good ones.

Dont give up ladies. Big hugs to all xx

So sorry sweetie ,big hugs ,I'm with you too, keep going ,

 

[mrsp1969]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

Hi Love:
Shit, I am ready to quit now, but my husband is not. That's because he has no children. I have 3 daughters and a grandson. Someone said the other day, when your kids start having kids its time to stop. I am 41 my husband is 39. He really wants to move on to IVF. With each passing month and each negative result, my enthusiam has faded.

ps..Generally I don't give a crap what people think, but when it comes to this we have opted NOT to tell anyone we are trying..Thank God. I couldn't bare everyone saying "Oh poor thing" and so on..

hi nevertolate xx im also ready to quit i have a daughter of 23 and 2 sons 20 and 9 my daughter is getting married in august so i will soon have grandchildren its 2 years for me next month i think i have reached the point where i dont care anymore the last 2 years have been an emotional rollercoaster im a different person to what i was then i would like the old me back xx

 

[mrsp1969]

Hi ladies,

Hello to the new girls, nice to see you on here.

Sorry to all who got BFN's, everyone does sound really fed up this month and unfortunately i'm not able to contribute anything positive.

I woke up yesterday with pain on one side, dizziness, sickness and tiredness. I phoned my EPAU who wanted me to be seen in Cumbria (as that's where I was at the time). So I went to hospital, had a scan, measured at 5+3 but hcg levels indicated failing pg and starting to mc naturally at 11pm last night. I'm ok as was fully expecting it this time. So that's 5 mc's in a row now I'm not giving up though. I found a website that said at 43, 79% of eggs are rubbish, meaning 21% are good!! So the way i'm thinking, I've found quite a few of those 79% of bad eggs, so I must be on my way to finding one of the 21% of good ones.

Dont give up ladies. Big hugs to all xx

so so sorry donna xx

 

[never2late70]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

Hi Love:
Shit, I am ready to quit now, but my husband is not. That's because he has no children. I have 3 daughters and a grandson. Someone said the other day, when your kids start having kids its time to stop. I am 41 my husband is 39. He really wants to move on to IVF. With each passing month and each negative result, my enthusiam has faded.

ps..Generally I don't give a crap what people think, but when it comes to this we have opted NOT to tell anyone we are trying..Thank God. I couldn't bare everyone saying "Oh poor thing" and so on..

hi nevertolate xx im also ready to quit i have a daughter of 23 and 2 sons 20 and 9 my daughter is getting married in august so i will soon have grandchildren its 2 years for me next month i think i have reached the point where i dont care anymore the last 2 years have been an emotional rollercoaster im a different person to what i was then i would like the old me back xx

I hear ya. My girls are 24-22-21 and my grandson is 3 ( love of my life) This crap is aging me and sucking the life right out of me. I just want to be content and happy again.

To:
Donna

 

[Spoomie]

Hello Everyone,
Just getting ready to move by the end of month to a new state. For those of you that have had multiple MC (It may be a sensitive issue for some so please excuse my question.) When do you give up because of embarrassment and failure? I mean, I keep going to the same Doctors that tell me it is a no go on the baby front because my eggs are too old? I am glad I am moving to a new state by the end of this month but my husband wants to try one more time in July. I don't know if I want to continue this vicous circle? I ve been pregnant 4 times since July of 2010. My son was born when I was 39/40. Please be honest I'm okay with that...

Garnet

I am so so sad for you and I understand the dilemma you face. My story is very similar, my precious only child/son was conceived when I was 39 and born when I was 40. I had genuinely believed that my utter joy at his arrival would mean that he would be enough, given my age. After a year I began imagining how his life would be enhanced by having a sibling to share it....After a little more effort I found myself pregnant at 42 and was beside myself with happiness, matched only by my absolute and total devastation to lose that baby (my 3rd mc) at 12+ weeks. Since then, I have had not even a hint of a fertilised egg and I am now out of hope and endeavouring to get back to my 'real' life, and to find some joy in the wonderful things I DO have in my life. I am not prepared to go down the Clomid or IVF route, so I am effectively at a dead end. I'm even weaning myself off the forum because I realise that, while providing immense support initially, latterly it has fuelled my OCD over ttc, and hindered my recovery. (I also struggle increasingly with the unbearably upbeat 'I tried this supplement/therapy etc etc and I found myself pregnant after 10 mins of ttc' posts! I HAVE tried it all, clearly it's not enough for some of us at this age) Early on following my mc in Nov 2010 I was determined that I would keep going for the ultimate prize and nothing would alter my course. I was even puzzled by women who posted saying that they had had enough and were calling time on the quest. However, it saps your strength and somewhere along the line I have woken up to the fact that 18 months of well timed BD without a positive outcome is telling me something. I'm saying this to acknowledge your feelings of being jaded with the whole thing. Where your situation differs from mine, is that you continue to get pregnant and you must take comfort/encouragement from that. IF you have the strength to go on then the cards may still fall in your favour given enough pregnancies but we know to our cost, that there is no guarantee....The dilemma comes in weighing up how much pain you can stand, and at what stage you want to claim your life back. My heart aches that my 3 year old son will remain an only child (though I realise that this may seem a small consideration for those struggling to conceive their first child) and he is more loved than he will ever grasp, so I am trying as hard as I can to engage wholeheartedly with the joy that he brings to my life, and to give less head space to the emptiness and pain that my losses have left behind.

Rambling at best I fear, but I hope this makes some sense and connects for you



BTW, bugger the doctors (and the receptionists who are half our age looking at you like you have 3 heads for still wanting a baby!). Go with your heart and if that says carry on, then just remind yourself how smug you'll feel when you prove them all wrong xx

 

[Deco]

For some odd reason, I'm comforted by the general malaise here. I'd feel like a real loser odd ball if I was the only one feeling blech and blah. Not that my misery seeks company, but at least it's comforting to know I'm not alone and that we all have frustration, resolve, energy, optimism ups and downs, and come here to sustain each other.

So I interviewed a new acupuncturist today, and I'm feeling a bit of an optimism uptick. I specifically went looking for someone trained in China, someone who's been at this for a very, very long time. I wanted depth and breadth of experience. Despite my last gal's easy approach, I felt like we were playing Pin the Ailment on the DecoDonkey, or Wheel Of Diagnosis Fortune I picked her because of her hyper-specialization in fertility acupuncture, but at the end of the day, that's no substitute for years and years of practice and training, and sober, methodical focus on the patient in front of her. This new guy is an MD in China, with additional training in acupuncture and herbal medicine. When he heard of my DP's morphology, he didn't shrug and say "IVF". He said he'd treated a man with 0% morphology before, and that with herbs he hopes to get my DP up to about 10%. I'm giving him 3 months to make a difference with DP's morphology. Meanwhile, I've signed up to be treated by him, so we shall see.

Donna, I'm sorry for the confirmed m/c. I was continuing to hold out hope. I admire your strength and love the research you pulled up on the rubbish vs non-rubbish eggs.

Garnet, I have no experience with loss, much less repeated loss, but please don't feel embarrassed with the docs. I don't know about you, but if I sense any pity or condemnation from docs, I'm much more likely to give them a steely look, as though this is THEIR failure, not mine. Two can play that game! It's perfectly understandable to decide to stop, but I hope it's not because of embarrassment. There is no shame in failure.

I hope things start to look up for all of us.

 

[Garnet]

Spoomie,
Wow you about described my feelings. Yes I can get pregnant but around 8-10 weeks the baby has no heartbeat. I've been through all the tests last summer and the same doctors say it is my eggs and chromsomal issues. We don't want to go down the road of IVF because of my age and they most definately would want to use donor eggs and my husband is opposed to it.. I do understand how the forum can kinda give you hope and eggs you on in having hope that you might succeed. I'm trying to wean myself off the forum but I like rooting for the people that have succeeded.

 

[Garnet]

Deco,
You crack me up, Pin the Decodonkey.

 

[Spoomie]

Spoomie,
Wow you about described my feelings. Yes I can get pregnant but around 8-10 weeks the baby has no heartbeat. I've been through all the tests last summer and the same doctors say it is my eggs and chromsomal issues. We don't want to go down the road of IVF because of my age and they most definately would want to use donor eggs and my husband is opposed to it.. I do understand how the forum can kinda give you hope and eggs you on in having hope that you might succeed. I'm trying to wean myself off the forum but I like rooting for the people that have succeeded.

'EGGS' you on, I like it

I didn't mean to sound like a bitter and twisted old hag, I too am genuinely happy for those who achieve success. My gripe is not with those within the friendship group of established threads, but with those who pop up from nowhere after one month ttc believing they're telling us something we may not have heard of, e.g. soy, maca, Co-Q10, DHEA, soft cups, CBFM, etc etc when most of us have probably forgotten more about ttc than they've even known in the first place!

 

[marathongirl]

Spoomie,
Wow you about described my feelings. Yes I can get pregnant but around 8-10 weeks the baby has no heartbeat. I've been through all the tests last summer and the same doctors say it is my eggs and chromsomal issues. We don't want to go down the road of IVF because of my age and they most definately would want to use donor eggs and my husband is opposed to it.. I do understand how the forum can kinda give you hope and eggs you on in having hope that you might succeed. I'm trying to wean myself off the forum but I like rooting for the people that have succeeded.

'EGGS' you on, I like it

I didn't mean to sound like a bitter and twisted old hag, I too am genuinely happy for those who achieve success. My gripe is not with those within the friendship group of established threads, but with those who pop up from nowhere after one month ttc believing they're telling us something we may not have heard of, e.g. soy, maca, Co-Q10, DHEA, soft cups, CBFM, etc etc when most of us have probably forgotten more about ttc than they've even known in the first place!

I agree Spoomie. Or the people that come on and say that ttc after 40 involves a lot of risks???? Really....... Seriously???? This happened on one of the threads not that long ago. Anyways I know what you mean about feeling down and depleted. I am not quite there but I could see that a year from now I would be there if I was still ttc. I'm not sure what's worse getting preggo and having a mc or having nothing happen at all? I have had both happen as I mc'd in Nov and was positive I would be pregnant again already as that BFP didn't seem to take that long maybe 3 cycles. Now I'm on cycle 7 and still nothing??BTW how is the runnig going? I have had to take a break this week as I ended up with 6 stitches in my leg after walking into a metal magazine rack at the gym??? I know clumsy or what

 

[soontobmrsm]

down and out this month ladies .... the witch showed on Tuesday.... I have done the tears and the tantrums and have been reading your posts with sympathy and also empathy.... I ...sorry, we (I Must not forget to include OH) are on cycle 24 and I am starting to lose the will to carry on, that is until we get closer to next OV day of course. We have chosen not to let all our friends and family know of our attempts at having a baby (too much pressure)... the down side of this is that when we had MC in May our short PG (11+4) I had no one to talk to really... anyway just wanted to say keep your chin up (and anything else up that may help with tcc) this forum is a great tool and helps keep me grounded....