Oh I feel so anxious about tomorrow! I know its only a scan but I dont think I can bear it if they say something is up and I cant start stimming tomorrow.
Im also worried about pulling a sickie tomorrow for the scan appointment. I dont feel I have much choice but its not something that I would normally do. I had originally told my manager when we were going for tests etc which made it easier for appointments and getting time off etc. Then when we were told IVF was our next step I had a chat with her as I was quite upset and we had just had a change around so I had a new line manager. I told her that I was stressing that now two people would have to know what I was up to: my new manager as I would have to request leave from him as well as her who would also know as I am working with her on a big project so if I had to miss meetings at last minute she knew why.
I then find she just went and told him anyway as he told me I could continue to request my leave from my old manager if I wished due to my "personal circumstances"! When I asked him what he meant he blurted out in the middle of an open plan office that as I was having IVF they both thought that might be better for me. He couldnt have said it any louder if he tried, especially when there were people 2m away!!! I was furious with them both!!!!
Therefore I now dont feel I can tell either of them that we have started and therefore keep worring about getting time off work with out giving an explanation. In fact making sure I get time off stresses me more right now than the actual process (though im sure that will change). I just feel that work is sh*t and so are my managers even though im sure they were actually trying to help. Most my appointments should be ok and I can take time off but tomorrow I have meetings which I wouldnt be allowed to miss by taking the morning off without explanation.
To top it off, I had to see occupational health last week as a follow up from being off with stress a few months ago. I find that HR have sent him a letter which mentions that im being referred for fertility treatment - is nothing private!!!!!
Rant over, sorry for that.
Jesus christ I would go absolutely MENTAL if my boss did that to me! Why on earth would they do that? Its such a personal thing and you dont want work colleagues gossiping and knowing all your private business. That is truly shit and not acceptable!
I never told work.... the first IVF i just went to the scan as a dental apt then started the meds and took 2 weeks off for the EC and ET and some of the 2WW because having taken my 4 months maternity leave after losing Shaylee I dare not even go there with more time off since my colleague was on 2 months parental leave and only me there to run the UK team. With IVF number 2, well it got cancelled so never made it as far as EC. This IVF i took the scan apt as half a days holiday. EC was a right nightmare as we had no cover in the dept and with little notice it was terrible having to beg people to cover and i just said to my team (not boss) that i was having a small procedure in hospital and would be back the next day. Of course they started emailing to ask if i was ok... fishing basically but i just told them yeah i was fine!
I booked today tomorrow and weds off to cover ET but then we get a lot of holidays at my company so its easier for me. I could have blagged it but on top of my mat leave I had taken 3 weeks off for the death of my dad in Spain and i then fell down the stairs and broke my arm, perforated my ear drum, sprained my other wrist and shoulder and was off for 4 weeks. This is the only reason I didnt want to do all this in their time, I was worried they would think I was taking the mick. I have hardly really been there in the last year!
Plus i didnt want them to know my business... my boss is great and she would give me the time off i know it but i dont want my work mates knowing since they love a bit of gossip and the whole company would know within minutes so i just told two close work pals who i trust. Companies often give you time off for IVF though and it should be kept as confidential. I would go to HR if i were you because that is just bang out of order and it sounds very deliberate and why was it better for the other office staff to know? Its got freaking nothing to do with them!
