IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread

[klik]

Wish: lol, I LOVE how much of a fan girl you are! It sucks a little that you won't have a chance for a natural BFP for a while but you're just making yourself the perfect home for those little frozen beans! I really hope the next one sticks and grows. I can't wait for you to join the ranks of the pregnant ladies on here!

I used to not care about V-day at all. I remember clearly being in college and asking the woman behind the counter what day it was as I filled out my check (yes, it was a LONG time ago!) and her looking at me like I was from another planet: "It's VALENTINE'S day!" Then I became aware that it's exactly my half-birthday so it just made me a little depressed. Now it's an excuse to make DP go to a restaurant that's further away than walking distance (he's a bit tough to drag out). Still, he has for some reason booked everything for that day: builders are coming in to do a quote, he's taking the car in for servicing... But yeah, we're going to a place that apparently does fab seafood. Also this weekend we're finally using up my birthday present to him and spending a weekend in the countryside with our dog (more frozen mud--yay!)

 

[scoobybeans]

klik & wish, I would love nothing more than to be bump buddies with both of you this year!!! I think if we all keep picturing it, maybe it will happen

klik- I'm glad the hysteroscopy is booked and I hope it goes well & you aren't too sore after. That's so funny, I love reading success stories too. It helps me stay positive, especially on days where I feel like this is never going to happen. If anyone gives you any crap about coming into the country, I can be there to protest within an hour The countryside sounds lovely. Enjoy! Looking forward to being snowed in tomorrow with my hubby and my pups. They go bonkers when it snows, it's hilarious.

wish- Congrats on your big win! My boss is from Boston so he's a huge Pats fan too. It really was quite a game. I'm glad you have plenty of room, it's rarely a bad thing! If it makes you feel any better, my DH has never been big on celebrating Valentine's Day either. He's great about randomly doing romantic things throughout the year though, so I really don't mind.

Disney & Amanda, do you ladies have any fun plans for the weekend?

AF is FINALLY here, woohoo! I started freaking out a little when it wasn't here this morning, because we're leaving for upstate NY on Friday morning. I called my RE and I'm assuming because of the snow tomorrow they'll have me come in on Friday for baselines. So I'll be up at about 5:30am to get there before they open (it's 1st come, 1st serve) and then to the pharmacy to pick up BCP, then back to my house to pack up the car and drive 6 hours so we can go surprise my FIL for his 75th birthday

 

[Hope16]

Hi ladies! I know it has been 5 months since I last logged on. I ended up finding out at my 38 week appointment that the baby had a severe case of hydrocephalus (water around the brain). They told me he would most likely die at birth or within the first year of his life. I met with radiologists and a neurosurgeon team who determined that they could perform a shunt surgery to help get some of the water off his brain. So the following day I had a csection and at one day old my 9.4lb 21 inches long baby boy went in for surgery. We spent 8 days in the NICU before we headed home. After a week his incisions started leaking cerebral fluid so we rushed him to the pediatric ER where they tried to resuture them. 3 days later they leaked even more, so we were admitted to the pediatric ER again. This time we scheduled surgery to remove the shunt. He stayed in the PICU for 7 days where he was treated with antibiotics. Once his cultures were clear of infection they performed a 3rd surgery to put in a new shunt. We spent the entire month of September in the hospital, but he has been thriving ever since. It was a long road to recovery but I am just so happy to have my little boy in my arms everyday.

To think I endured heartbreaking miscarriages, to struggling with fertility treatments, to a long hard miserable pregnancy, to then find out about the hydrocephalus and possibly losing my baby...only to face the hardest month of our lives seeing your baby suffer in pain. I am just grateful everyday that I never gave up. My journey helped prepare me for Landon's arrival. God wanted to make sure we were prepared for all this.

Whatever your journey is...just have faith that God has a plan. You may not understand it yet, but it will be revealed when the time is right.

 

[klik]

Hope: hey! I've been wondering about you...I was hoping you were just busy with the baby... My word, you've been through a lot... I'm so sorry this has been so painful, so many moments of despair... Gosh, you are SO strong! Well done on holding it together for little Landon... I mean, just reading your update I couldn't wait to get to the conclusion, and that took, like, a minute--you went through a whole month ++ of this, this not-knowing, this terrible worry... Millions of hugs to you... Congratulations, well done on being so, so strong, and enjoy your little thriving baby--may the rest of his life be, on the whole, charmed... he, and you, have suffered more than enough already... Take care and thank you so much for sharing!

Scooby: yeah, bump buddies 2017--let's do this! congrats on AF--I'm sorry it confirms the natural BFN but it's excellent you can get the show on the road. Enjoy the celebration with your FIL!

 

[scoobybeans]

hope- Your story is unbelievably sad and stressful, and I'm just so relieved to hear that you had a happy ending. What an ordeal to go through! I'll echo what klik said- your strength is inspiring and you are incredibly brave! I hope Landon continues to thrive and that the rest of his childhood is nice and easy

klik- I'm not sure why I feel so optimistic since I probably shouldn't lol. I mean I know the stats and they're not great. I just feel like this is our year! I can picture all of it now- the nursery, holding my baby, reading him or her bedtime stories. I hope our dreams become a reality for all of us soon!

Baselines are tomorrow morning! I've been trying to calculate when ER and ET will be but there are so many variables. I'm thinking somewhere around St. Patrick's Day. Hope the luck of the Irish is with me

 

[Wish2BMom]

hope - wow. I'm just in absolute amazement of your story. I can't believe you and your DH had to go through all of that. I had chills the entire time I was reading and same as klik, I could not wait to get to the end. I am SO grateful that it ended properly and you all are happy and healthy. Little Landon struck gold when he got you as a mom. I wish you nothing but happiness and fun from hereon out. Thank you so much for checking in and sharing your story.

klik & scoob - Bump Buddies 2017! we need tshirts!

minor setback for me, though (getting sick of this) - at least until I talk to the financial coordinator - my AF started yesterday so I called in day 1 to start estrace for the FET cycle. Well, at the end of the instructions I'm so used to getting, she goes 'oh, and we'll need payment of $3500'. Um...for what? We paid a flat fee for Frozen DE. No other charges were EVER discussed. She said it's for the FET transfer - only the first fresh transfer was covered in that flat fee. NOWHERE in the paperwork is it distinguished differently!!!! So not only did we finance most of the first cost, but we're supposed to come up with a (basically) monthly fee of $3500 just to transfer the embies back in? I'm so disheartened by this.
If they can prove that we discussed this, I'm sure we'll come up with the money, at least the one round to get the other AB in there (and maybe transfer 2?? 2 for one? but risk of twins) so my transfer date will be around 3/2. One week or so before you, scoob!!

 

[klik]

Scooby: I think visualizing is good! I hope it works for you! Good luck on the baseline--can't wait to hear how it goes!

Wish: yeaaaaah! Bump buddies '17! SO annoying, though, this surprise extra cost. $3500, really?! I mean, how did this not get mentioned?! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Of course you're disheartened. UGH!!!!!! Still, I hope at the end of all this you do end up with your lovely little baby after all!

Uhm, so, I didn't know this, but the hysteroscopy might mean my uterus is not ready for yet another month... I'll have to ask the doc who does it whether it's ok to do a transfer the next cycle. Otherwise I guess I'll be freezing again in March. It's weather-appropriate, I guess, but come ON--I want my spring to be here now!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

that's baloney, klik!!!
I want spring now too. we just had a blizzard yesterday - about 17" of snow. More to come this week too! BLAH!

 

[klik]

lol, Wish, I used to love blizzards when I lived in the US--it doesn't snow where I come from in Brazil so my first snowfall was in New England and I thought it was awesome when the snow actually accumulated on the ground and everything was covered in white. Also walking on the fluffy powder and hearing the squeaking was lovely. But I can imagine if you've lived with it pretty much all your life you can get pretty sick of it! Here in London the snow only really accumulates once every few years... Mostly we just get really cold rain.

In TTC news, I just found out my surgeon for tomorrow's hysteroscopy is my favorite surgeon, period--I barely bled at all when he did my egg retrievals. So hopefully he'll be able to work his magic and my uterus can heal in time for a March transfer. I'm not feeling super-optimistic, but hope dies last...

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- Yes, I totally want a Bump Buddies 2017 t-shirt!!! (Ok the first time I typed Bum lol.) I'm so annoyed for you about your RE office's lack of transparency. That's a lot of money to spring on someone! Honestly I think I'd transfer 2 at a time, but that's totally up to you and how comfortable you are with the chance of twins. My sister transferred 3 and only got 1, so it definitely doesn't happen all of the time. On the plus side, 3/2 is so soon!!!

klik- My RE told me I'd be good to do IVF the following cycle after my hysteroscopy, but that's probably a judgment call. Supposedly it makes you all cleaned out and ready to go, and just like having an endo scratch it can increase the chances of implantation. Something to consider. That's awesome your favorite surgeon is doing the procedure!

AFM, we had a great time in upstate NY visiting my in-laws and my FIL was SO surprised. The trip home was pretty horrendous though. We were going through a bad snow storm and the roads were awful. So grateful we made it home without incident and it was wonderful seeing my dogs!

So my baselines went really well. My antral follicle count went from 9 to 14! My FSH lowered from 6.9 to 5.1! I was expecting things to have gotten worse so I'm over the moon with the results. My E2 was 50, so also within normal range. I got the all clear to start BCP last Friday. I think they're making me a little hormonal, so I can imagine what the rest of the fertility cocktail will do to me lol.

My nursing protocol visit is this Friday, and that's when they'll give me an estimated retrieval date. Very nervous and very excited all at the same time.

 

[amanda1235]

Klik, I also heard that cycling right after a hysteroscopy can be a good thing! Did it with both of mine!

Wish, totally sucks that they weren't clear about the cost. Will you transfer 2? We did last time, and although technically both implanted, one turned into a vanishing twin, so left with one.

Scooby, how exciting to be starting!! I live in Montreal, and we got over a foot of snow yesterday and last night. Didn't have to leave the house yesterday, but this morning I went out to get the cars out of the driveway so that our snow contractor can come plow. With the drifts, there was snow up to my hips in some places! I brushed off the cars, and thankfully my neighbour was outside and helped shovel where the city plow created a snow bank at the end of the driveway. DH is away until tomorrow, in Vegas with my dad and brother for a boys trip. At least I didn't have to shovel and lift anything, but I can tell you that just brushing off the cars took over a half an hour, and was my exercise for the day hehe. They're calling for more snow this week, then another huge dumping next week. Ugh! The joys of winter.

 

[klik]

Scooby: those are great numbers! Congratulations!!! As for the fertility cocktail, gals, what do you think? To me the BCP is WAY worse--it's the progesterone that I really object to, frankly, with its tendency to bloat and get me in a bad mood. As for FSH and LH and antagonist, different people react differently, but to me it's mostly just the annoyance of actually doing the injections, and then the pain in the ovaries as they're being more active than usual. I think Wish reported bloating as well on these... But the end result of these things is more estrogen, and I like estrogen! It makes me frisky! Good luck on Friday!

Amanda: I have this image of you, really quite pregnant by now, wading through snow and brushing cars and shovelling... It doesn't seem right somehow!

Right, so, I had my hysteroscopy and sadly it was not a waste of time and money... there were still retained POC, which have now been removed. The doc said I'm likely to spot til my next period--in fact my next period may not even be very recognizable because of the spotting. I asked if he thought it would be ok for me to do a transfer in my next cycle, and he left that up to my (local) RE. I was really hoping to learn today!!!

They almost sent me home without doing the hysteroscopy because I'd had unprotected sex beforehand. I pleaded that I've been monitoring for ovulation like a hawk, and they managed to ask my local RE, who gave me the go-ahead. Phew! If they'd delayed me I would not have held myself responsible for my actions.

Scooby and Amanda, I think there are a couple of different schools of thought on hysteroscopies/endo scratches... I think some REs believe in what your REs said--that a scratch is simply a good thing, because it creates a good landing site for an embryo. But other REs fret that with something more involved than explicitly an endo scratch--like a removal of POC--there will be scar tissue left behind, and if the embryo decides (as it likely will!) to implant there, then it will be unable to receive adequate nutrition through the lining... So there are, like, good wounds and bad wounds. I'm sure all REs agree on this to some extent but they probably draw the line in different places?!

Right now I guess my impatience is subsiding somewhat and if an RE I trust tells me my miscarriage risk is increased if I transfer next cycle, then I'll prefer to skip transfer. Miscarriages are really the worst.

 

[amanda1235]

Klik, that makes total sense about the scar tissue, and yeah, miscarriages suck hardcore, no point transferring if your risk is increased. Here's hoping that's not the case though! Oh, and I'm sure I was a sight for sore eyes this morning, but thankfully all is cleared now
As for the meds, I never had to take BCP before a cycle, so can't comment on that. I do however hate the progesterone the most. Bloated and cranky, not fun (for me or DH!) I felt slightly uncomfortable on the stims by the end, but it was a good feeling, because it made it feel like things were working.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hi ladies!

scoob - good luck on Friday! sounds like things are going really well for you!

klik - glad you got everything finally taken care of with the hysteroscopy. i'm sure that's a weight off your shoulders. Now just need to get going on the next cycle!

amanda - oh dear, I'm not having a good picture of you cleaning off cars either. No slipping and falling!!

disney - how are you doing? feeling good?

sorry so brief - work is pure hell and I have to get back to it. Finance lady got the bright idea to trying pushing the FET through insurance. Not sure how that didn't happen to begin with. Sheesh. But it has to go through preauthorization first, so it'll take about 2 weeks - I should get that answer when I get the biopsy results. So I started the estrace, etc for the cycle. I'm really hoping it's just covered since my last FET, this time last year, was covered. If it's not included in the DE stuff, then it should fall under the regular stuff. I just have a sneaky feeling that we're gonna get screwed though. Sigh.

Anyway, I'll check back in later in the week - hugs to all!

 

[scoobybeans]

Amanda- Yikes, that's a whole lot of snow! Please take it easy & let your DH do the heavy lifting when he gets back Our plows do that too and it makes things so much harder because it's that really heavy, compacted snow. I don't know about you but I'm super ready for spring at this point!

klik- Thanks for your input on the drugs & their side effects. I'm a fan of the estrogen too. It makes me energetic, creative and just generally in a better mood. Progesterone gives me insane dreams (like the other day I was in this feudal society and I was the leader of the resistance against an evil lord- WTF???) and it makes me more moody. As far as the hysteroscopy, I'm so glad it's over now. Once I found out my polyp had grown to 1cm, I opted not to TTC until we had the surgery because the chance of miscarriage was higher. I'm also guessing it may take you that extra cycle just to heal. I think you should just go with your gut on this one.

wish- I really hope this is covered through your insurance! It's ridiculous that they didn't think to check sooner. We had some issues with our billing dept at first too, and DH took it upon himself to speak to an office manager about it. (He used to work in the medical field so he knows the hierarchy at these places.) Anyway, now they go out of their way to treat us really well, so I'm grateful! If this doesn't get resolved for you maybe you should ask to speak to someone about it?

AFM, I have a cold. Boo.

 

[klik]

Hey, ladies!

Amanda, I'm kind of in awe of you for having done all that freezing manual labor while pregnant!

Wish: I really hope your insurance will pay for it, but it sucks that after all the careful thought and energy you've put into this, there's this massive spanner thrown into the works... Good luck at work!

Scooby: yay, estrogen! Excellent that your DH could make your case so well to the billing department and now you're treated well! Oh yeah, as for your progesterone dream, are you sure it was just a dream? Maybe you're supposed to be leading the #resistance!

I'll try to post again later today, after I get a call from my local RE with his thoughts on when a transfer would be advisable. Yeah, like I said, I've pretty much accepted that waiting might be the right thing, but it really is very unsettling to keep everything on hold for so long, so that I can travel at a moment's notice... DP is also struggling: he lost his job at the end of last year and has mostly been holding off on finding another one so he can travel with me--but this whole thing is so unpredictable, I don't think he wants to remain jobless for, I don't know, this whole year?! It's all taking its toll, sadly...

 

[klik]

Huh. To my surprise my local RE said it's fine to transfer next month. Specifically, he likes there to be 2 cycles between m/c and transfer (that's already happened). As for scarring, there's always a chance of that, though the curettage was as gentle as possible... but waiting one or two cycles won't get rid of it. As long as my lining builds up normally, transferring should be fine. So... Wish and Scooby, looks like I'll be joining you for the March effort after all!

 

[Wish2BMom]

WOOOO klik, that's great news!!!!

 

[scoobybeans]

klik- Hooray!!! I'm so glad you don't have to wait any longer! MY RE always reminds me that the uterus is incredibly strong and resilient, because it has to be.

As for putting your life on hold, I 100% can relate and understand how sucky that is. For almost 3 years now we've avoided making any long terms plans because I "might" be pregnant. I think being in limbo has been one of the worst parts about this whole thing. That's why we've decided this is our last year of actively trying. I'm sorry it's been rough on you and DP too, and I hope we all get out of this purgatory soon!!!

LMAO at #resistance.

So I'm super sick with a cold, and now DH is sick too. The only good thing about that is it's made me focus less on my cycle. (Also no sense of smell= no appetite= weight loss. Yay!)

My RE called me yesterday to talk about ICSI, and she's totally on board with us doing all ICSI instead of a 50/50 split. We also talked about the number of embryos to transfer and we've decided to wait and see before we make that call. Like, as much as DH and I are opposed to the idea of twins, the bottom line is that we'd rather have 2 babies than 0 babies. So if I do a day 3 transfer or only have average quality embies on Day 5 that probably won't make it to freeze, we're just going to go for 2 and see what happens.

 

[Wish2BMom]

scooby - that sounds like a great plan! So glad you're going with ICSI too. I'm not sure why but I feel like that's part of the secret sauce sometimes. B/c of our potential costs with this DE stuff, I was pondering putting 2 back in as well. Though they are only 23 yrs old so they have a higher likelihood of both sticking!!

I can't agree more with the 'putting life on hold' discussion - that's the primary reason I was good with going with the frozen DE vs fresh - I know I'll have 6 or less tries and that's it. Then we move on. I can't keep up with the 'what ifs' and IF something happened naturally, what a pleasant surprise. But no more planning around the 'what ifs'. We still are, of course - I signed up to do a 24 or 48-hr relay running race with a group of friends in Sept, but I have to think that if I'm preg, I'm not doing that. So I have to think of a backup plan IF I get preg and IF it sticks and IF....ugh, it's so exhausting.

anywho - I'm sorry you're sick, scoob!! I've managed to avoid both of DH's illnesses in the past month (cold, then flu), knock on wood.

klik - that sucks that DH lost his job! ugh - another stress to add into the mixture. Did he figure out his passport/ex-wife stuff yet? I hope that's off your plates.

disney - any names picked out yet for your new daughter? what comes next for you? just smooth sailing into 3rd tri?

nothing going on here - had my blood draw this morning for monitoring. I called the insurance carrier yesterday to review the procedure code that was submitted for this FET to see if there was any reason to think it would be denied. The first customer service rep didn't see anything that flagged her to think it wouldn't be, but then I was transferred to an Infertility specialist group. He had no idea so he set me up an appt with one of their Registered Nurses, so she's going to call me this morning. The good news is that we're nowhere near our lifetime fertility max. Since it's a new year, we have to start our deductible and OOPM over again, but I'm already almost $600 into that. So if it IS covered, we'll still have to pay a portion of it. But if it is covered and this round doesn't work, then at least the rest will be covered. Now, just have to see if it's covered or not...sigh.

I hope everyone is set up to have a great weekend!! We have a concert to go to tomorrow night but other than that, I'll be working. Stupid client go-lives!!