IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread

[Disneyfan88]

Hi ladies - I'm so sorry for being absent for a while. Things got incredibly busy at work, and between that and DD being a little under the weather, I haven't had as much time to get online.

I still need to go back and catch up on what I've missed. I hope to do that later today. I hope that everyone is doing well!

AFM - I'm still chugging along. Not a whole lot going on here. I'm still tired most days. The nausea is still there to some extent, but it's definitely better than it was several weeks ago. We've finally started telling people about the pregnancy, though most people at work are still clueless at this point since my team is spread out, and I don't see everyone all the time. My next doctor visit with my OB is Tuesday when I'll be 16.5 weeks along.

I'll catch up with everyone soon!

 

[Asterimou]

Hi ladies, was thinking of you all so took a sneaky peek at this thread again. I hope you didn't all mind me leaving so abruptly, I was in a very sad place. It has taken some time and I've worked through so much, I can honestly say I've let go of the idea of biological motherhood and I'm okay with it. Man it took some tears, anger, desperation and loneliness but I've survived. We got a little rescue cat and he's made things so much easier, somewhere to send all that love. I'm enjoying life with my husband as DINKs and we've packed in lots of fun stuff. Also started a full on yoga course and it's also helped a lot. We're going to investigate adoption around May and will see where that leads us. I just wanted to say hi and let you know we can all survive infertility in our own way xx big hugs xx

 

[Wish2BMom]

aster! so good to see you, thank you for popping on! I'm so glad you've been able to work through the horrible emotions of all of this and get to a better place. I knew you would.
please come back to us when you start your new journey!!
and congrats on the new kitty! it certainly does help to have a pet to give your love to. I think that's why we keep adopting dogs (well my FIL does but I approve!)

disney - dear girl, don't apologize, you have a lot going on! 16 weeks already?! nutso

I had my discussion with the RN yesterday and she said that once the donor eggs are in our possession, insurance kicks back in. So while they don't cover the acquisition of the eggs, they cover everything else as normal. Which means the FET should be covered but ALSO, things that happened TO the eggs after purchase could also be covered, like fertilization, first transfer, etc. Sooooooo - going to get an itemized list of those procedural codes and submit for some reimbursement to help pay off our loan!! WOOOOOO!!

so YAY! we'll be transferring on or around 3/2. Next week will be a blur - I have to travel to both clients we're trying to get live, so I'll be in Pittsburgh Tues/Wed and then off to CA for a Thurs demo, then home as fast as possible so I can get to my monitoring appt Friday morning at 7:30. Dear lord, help me.

I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend!

 

[klik]

Asterimou: I'm really glad to hear from you... I'm so sorry it's been rough, but it sounds like you've done huge amounts of work on this really necessary and painful process of grieving. I'm so sorry it's turned out this way . If you want to share your adoption journey, whenever you do embark on it, we'd absolutely love to cheer you on... Please give your cat an extra snuggle from auntie Klik!

Scooby: I will remind myself of that! Uterus is resilient. Excellent! Oh, yeah, putting life on hold, gosh, it's been rough... We've been acting kind of like new parents "Sorry, can't go anywhere or plan anything, we've got a baby to look after!" except there's no baby. *Sigh*. Well, ok, that's not exactly how it's been but it's something in that region. Cool that your RE is on board with all-ICSI! I hope it helps you get that lucky ticket. Ugh, so sorry about the cold...

Wish: how very excellent that insurance kicks back in! So cool you get to get some of your money back! I'm still upset at how this has gone down--I mean, you were so careful, I just don't know how these "minor details" did not reach you beforehand! Does this affect your calculations re. how many to transfer? Good luck with the client meetings, and then... good luck with that transfer!!!

Disneyfan: I'm sorry DD has been under the weather--I hope she's feeling better. Has she expressed feelings yet about getting a little sister? Even if you haven't told her yet I'll bet there are suspicions awakening somewhere in her mind! I'm sorry the nausea is still there to some extent... Good luck on Tuesday!!!

AFM: it's CD 13 and still no LH surge... I had EWCM on CD 11 and 12, though, so I'm getting suspicious. No BBT increase yet. I need to call Cornell and see if they want me to do any blood tests. I definitely don't want to wait any longer!

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- I really hope your insurance comes through on this and you get reimbursed. Just hearing your upcoming schedule is making me exhausted lol. What do you do again? Hope you had fun at your concert! DH and I are big music lovers so we go see live music as often as possible. Hooray on your 3/2 transfer!!! Have you made a decision on 1 or 2 yet?

Disney- No need to apologize, we're all busy ladies here! I'm sorry your daughter is sick and I hope she's feeling better soon! So glad the nausea is easing up. The 16 week scan is a big one, right? Best of luck, and share pics if you feel comfortable!

aster- Hey, it's so good to see you again! Congrats on your rescue cat I have 2 rescue dogs (see avatar) and they're my world. DH and I have been having a lot of conversations about the very real possibility that we'll have to move on from TTC if the IVF doesn't work, so thank you for the reminder that not having children has its perks. (Especially when you have a wonderful partner.) I'm so glad you're doing well & I hope you keep checking in!

klik- I had to laugh at your new parents analogy. We catch ourselves calling the spare room "the nursery" or saying things like "when the baby comes" all of the time. I think we're just trying to be positive that we'll succeed, but OTOH it does sound pretty crazy lol. I have to say, I feel very at peace with our decision to put an expiration date on all of this. Limbo Land is a nice place to visit, but I don't want to live here permanently So, what is the next step for you? Another fresh cycle after this one, right?

AFM, I got my schedule! I stop taking BCP in one week and go in next Friday for suppression check. If all looks well, I start stims that night & estimated retrieval is the week of 3/12. Woot!

They're starting me on 225 Follistim & 75 Menopur per day, which I think is a nice compromise since we don't know how I'll respond yet. I think we're covering a lot of bases here. ICSI, assisted hatching, antagonist protocol, doxy for infections, Medrol for inflammation, PIO for my low-ish progesterone. I know there are a lot of things that need to line up perfectly in order for this to work, but I'm actually feeling great about this cycle so far.

What are everyone's thoughts on limiting caffeine and alcohol? I've decided to switch back to tea from coffee in the morning and limit drinks to maybe 2 a week until I start stims, and then I'm going to cut out alcohol completely. Still not sure on caffeine though. I mean tea has antioxidants so it's not all bad...

 

[Wish2BMom]

hooray for set schedules!! that's great, scooby!!
re: caffeine and alcohol - allllll of my nurses, every time I've had a transfer coming up or whatnot (see Napa at the beginning of Nov) told me to go out and have a great time. No one has ever told me to hold back on drinking pre-transfer, but obviously yes, post-transfer. I don't get bombed but I def have more than 2 a week. I've even asked, after all this failing, if I should stop drinking altogether and the doc said nope, that has nothing to do with anything. So there's that.
As far as caffeine, however, I have switched to half-caff coffee and decaf teas at night if I want something warm. It's actually been great for me b/c I don't have that mid-afternoon crash anymore.
Else, I'm just taking all my vitamins and trying to eat pretty darn healthy lately.

your cocktail and plan all sound great - I love the ICSI and assisted hatching!

you guys are funny with the 'new parents' stuff - I don't even allow myself to think that far out anymore. I know what a slippery slope it is for my brain.

oh and yeah, if insurance is covering things, then we'll just transfer one at a time. My mom is really pushing for 2 and says 'you're a healthy woman!' but um, yeah, my body is 41! it's risky for a younger chickadee, let alone me! So we'll stick with one if all is covered as expected.

 

[klik]

Scooby: cool, you have a schedule! It's very exciting. I hope they've found the ideal protocol for you! You'll be about a week ahead of me by the looks of it, all going well on this side... Oh yeah, as for expectations, we do say "when we have kids" all the time--I mean, in some ways we're still at the beginning (!!!) of our journey--after I give up on fresh eggs there's still my frozen ones, then DE, then adoption... It's pretty certain we'll get there sooner or later, somehow, assuming we remain alive and well. Now, sooner would be really, really nice! Oh, yeah, caffeine and alcohol... I've tried to cut down on both but I have the occasional cup of coffee or tea and the occasional drink. It's important, I think, to limit the extent to which we sacrifice ourselves--joy surely helps in this journey, wherever we can get it! I don't mean binge-drinking or whatever--I mean, that's not really joy, is it? But yeah, a bit of social drinking sometimes, or a cup of your fave coffee... The little things in life... There are these gals on this other forum I'm on who are talking about some book they've read that tells them to avoid plastics at all costs and not to touch receipts. I mean, originally I was thinking receipts was a technical term for something, but they really meant receipts, like from cash registers. I really really really don't think fostering paranoia helps at all!!! That said, I'm drinking some crazy healthy green juice as I type this... But then again, I like crazy healthy green juice.

Wish: lol, your mom sounds like my DP. He's totally discounting all the dangers of twins. He wants a complete family asap! Where was this instinct 4 years ago when I originally wanted to start trying (and had to freeze eggs instead)? Grrrr... Also, I think it's really nice for a baby to be THE baby in the family for at least a little while. Having to share that spotlight has got to be tough! Most of my friends who have kids seem to have spent all their waking time breastfeeding ONE. What can you possibly do with two?!?! It boggles the mind. All that said, we're using 42-year-old 3-day embryos, not 23-year-old blastocysts, so our chances of twins are pretty darn small even if we transfer, like, 4... Anyway, I hope your insurance comes through properly and you get to do as many transfers as feels right for you! Looking forward to your upcoming transfer!

AFM: Well, I've finally pinpointed my ovulation! My surge probably peaked sometime between Sunday and Monday. So, DP and I have given it a shot naturally, but though I tried to ensure we try at the right times, for some reason that goes in my mind into the category "impossible." Estrogen patch goes on on Sunday, and then about a week later I'll have my baseline scan and then, hopefully... off to NYC!

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- I've never worried too much about alcohol before the TWW in the past either. I think I'm just trying whatever I can to make this cycle "perfect" because we have so much invested in it. That said, I was super stressed after work yesterday so I did allow myself a couple of glasses of wine My caffeine compromise right now is switching off between tea and coffee every morning, and then going to just tea once I start stims next week. I'm not sure what I'll do after transfer yet. Speaking of, it's less than one week before your transfer woohoo!!! Did your insurance come through yet? I'm totally with you on avoiding twins. I think one will be hard enough on my body, and with everything going on at my job I really just can't be on bed rest for 2 months or whatever if things start going south.

klik- I admire you so much for your determination to have a child whatever way you can. My aunt felt the same way, and after she'd almost given up hope she adopted her daughter at 49 years old. She's a wonderful mom and she doesn't regret it for a second. I totally agree with you on limiting the extent of the sacrifice while TTC. Everyone has to draw the line somewhere, and for me that line is NOT avoiding receipts lol. So what goes into this green drink of yours? I'm glad you and I will be close in our cycles!

AFM, I only have 4 more doses of BCP to take and then I'm done. Woohoo! I ordered my meds today and they're supposed to arrive tomorrow. I've been really calm and positive for the past couple of weeks but yesterday I started worrying about everything (and I mean EVERYTHING). I feel a little better today, just anxious to get started. If all goes well at my appointment next week, it's only one week until I start stims... Eeek!

 

[Wish2BMom]

YEAHHH for starting stims next week, scoob!

and klik - I hope you BD'ed just right and you get your miracle natural baby.

ERA results came back and it was found that I'm receptive exactly when we transfer, so that won't change. I am going for my final monitoring tomorrow morning (bloods/ultrasound) and transfer will be next Fri. I'm going to take the day off. I need it anyway!!
Insurance came back and it was approved, so that's great. When talking to that RN, she made it sound easy peasy. But talking to the finance lady at the clinic yesterday, she said that only 2 other people have ever been approved for insurance coverage of an FET from donor. So I guess we're lucky?? can't tell. Either way, I'll consider us lucky and blessed and hopefully this is the start of good things to come.

off to get on a plane to head home - talk to you girls later!

 

[klik]

Scooby: ah, so cool about your aunt! Yeah, knowing how long adoption takes, we might be 49 by the time it comes through... Oh, the green drink was just something I bought from Planet Organic--it has pear, to sweeten it, but then it's spinach and kale and parsley and cucumber. Tastes nice! When exactly is your appointment? Good luck!

Wish: Ok, I'd be somewhat frustrated if I'd spent all this time to change nothing at all, but you seem to be in good spirits! And of course, it's good to know with certainty... But yeah, it's amazing that the transfer will happen so soon! And that the insurance has come through! Hope your flight went well and that you're enjoying your weekend.

AFM: Not much going on in the klik household. It's starting to dawn on me that I'd better enjoy my last few days at home before I have to be off again...

 

[Wish2BMom]

i'm trying to ignore that frustration, klik!! hahaha

yeah, it's good that things are going well but I'll be honest - just kinda going through the motions right now. Not really overly excited that transfer is less than a week away. Doing my first PIO shot last night was more of a drag than 'oooh, this is it!' type thing. I'm super tired from work and having to try to also be a 50/50 partner with DH on things. I'm drained. So there's very little emotion leftover for the upcoming transfer. I'm sure I'll get there.

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- I think it's actually a good thing that your ERA results support what you've already been doing. It's one less thing to question about the whole process. Hooray for approval! It's completely understandable that you're burnt out from this process, and I'm sure the hormones and your crazy work schedule isn't helping! Try and take it easy. Do something nice for yourself.

klik- That green drink doesn't sound too terrible. I just tried coconut water for the first time yesterday (I know, I know). It was good, but I didn't realize it was 100 calories and 22 grams of carbs when I bought it. Do you think that's worth whatever nutritional benefit it may have? Usually I just drink regular water. When are you heading to NYC?

AFM, today is my last day of BCP. Weirdly, I think they balanced me out a little bit. My skin is crystal clear and I feel pretty great. The calm before the storm, I know... Got my meds on Saturday and my suppression check is this Friday, with stims to start that evening if everything looks good. I'm feeling a lot of things. Excited, nervous, simultaneously anxious to get started and dreading all of it. I think I've reached the point where I'm sick of talking about it lol. Just stick me with shots and get this show on the road already.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hahahaa I know how you feel, scooby! blah blah blah LET'S GO! I hear you on BCP - I am pretty sure that's why I never got teenage acne (I was on the pill from 15 or so).

I just found out one of my good friends got her BFP finally - she has a son but he's 4 (I think) and they had a hard time getting preg with him (did IUI) and have been trying for a couple of years for this one (IUI and then to IVF). This was their last try and she had said that if it didn't work, they'd just be happy and blessed to have their son and carry on. I'm so thrilled for them, she just found out yesterday. No symptoms to report, though she had cramping and a little blood on Thurs, so probably implantation.

klik - yes, when are you back in the states?

 

[klik]

Wish: for the frustration and also for this very understandable detachment... Not only have you been super-busy, but also it's a lot to ask that you get your hopes up every time even after repeated disappointments... Still, I really hope this Friday transfer works for you--it would be excellent for you and your friend to have babies that are not too far apart in age. FX'ed!

Scooby: I'm from Brazil, so I'm ridiculously picky about coconut water (the gold standard is having it from the raw, green coconut). I refuse to buy any that has ingredients other than coconut water. Vita Coco, probably the biggest brand, actually adds sugar--why would you do that?! And recently I've discovered a brand (Rebel Kitchen--probably exists only in the UK)--that does raw coconut water--so yeah, unpasteurized, and THAT tastes very similar indeed to the original raw coconut. It's quite expensive, though, so I only have that about once a week--it's my treat! Do I really think it helps? Hmmm... It's an excellent hydrator and pretty good at supplying electrolytes. It was apparently used in Brazil as saline until Brazil got its act together to make saline. I drink it mostly because I find it delicious. My "fertility help" drinks are water mixed with açaí (frozen or powder) and water mixed with pomegranate juice. I think the idea is to have as many antioxidants as possible! Oh yeah, I get your impatience too. Cool that you've enjoyed being on BCPs--hope everything goes well on Friday!

 

[Wish2BMom]

back atcha, klik - thank you. I appreciate the understanding from you guys. I feel like I'm doing a little disservice to the little wonder that is our next embie. I'm getting a little more excited as the week goes on - maybe just b/c I'm taking the day off!! haha
DH is taking it off too, we'll go down and do the transfer and then we'll go off to a brewery near there that DH really likes, load up on some rare beers you can't find in stores and then maybe do lunch or something. We have dinner plans that night too. Should be a fun day.

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- That's awesome about your friend. I love hearing success stories, especially when people have been TTC for a long time. As far as doing a disservice to your embie, I don't think that's true at all. Think about all that you've already done just to get that little one to this stage! You've already fought hard for that embie Your plans with DH sound wonderful. I hope you have an excellent time!

klik- Oh, a coconut water expert! I feel like I've hit the jackpot After a little research I bought Harvest Bay brand. No sugar added and made from green coconuts. I hope it's good! I'm going to use it in my smoothies while stimming to help prevent bloating. I've been trying to eat healthier these past couple of weeks, and last night I choked on a strawberry. Maybe that's a sign to go back to my safe carbs, heehee.

I've decided to treat myself to some new clothes and snuggly warm socks. It's insane to me that this is already the last day of February. Where has this year gone so far??

 

[Wish2BMom]

aw thank you for that - I already have mama guilt and I'm not even PUPO yet!!!

ENJOY your shopping!! I want to go shopping too but I tend to just buy the same stuff - jeans, comfy shirts. But I took a look at my closet this morning and realized I have so many shirts I don't wear. I just need to donate them.
I do need new shoes, though...hmmmmm....

Your strawberry attack story made me laugh i've been trying to eat healthier too but my food hasn't rebelled against me yet.

 

[scoobybeans]

I think it's cute that you already have mama guilt! I donated SO MANY clothes when we moved. It's funny because I feel like I never have anything to wear, but it's just that I choose to wear the same (comfortable) things over and over again. We've gotten super lax at work too, like we even wear sneakers most days now. I like to get more dressed up in the spring and summer though because I love skirts and dresses. I love shoes! Go buy some

The funny thing about the strawberry is that last year I choked on a green bean. That one was pretty serious, DH was a superhero and saved me. (I saved him from choking once too so we're even now lol.) Anyway, fruits and veggies are quite possibly plotting my demise...

 

[klik]

Wish: your plans sound lovely! I'm with Scooby--it's really sweet that you have mama guilt! There will be plenty of time or that once you actually have your baby! Oh, yeah, and as for shopping--if you're going to load up on rare beers, it's only fair you get yourself some shoes too!

Scooby: That's terrible you're being attacked by fruit & veg!

Funny, gals, I'm a comfy dresser too... But yeah, like Wish, more on the jeans & comfy shirts side of things.

to all...

 

[klik]

Oh, gosh, I forgot to answer the "when will I be heading to NYC" question... Well, that depends on when AF arrives--I'm expecting it around the weekend somewhere, but my basal body temperature dropped precipitously today, so maybe she's coming tomorrow?! I hope not--that would mean I haven't worn the estrogen patches for long enough... Ugh. Anyway, I'll be in town from about CD5, so sometime next week, I guess!