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klik - My scan is this coming Monday. If my lining is sufficient, then transfer will be on the following Monday 5/23. I'd love to be 2ww buddies!! 
IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread
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Asterimou
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I got a BFN today with a First Response test. They say you can test any time so I'm pretty sure I'm out. I will test again tmrw morning but I've pretty much accepted it and have had lots of tears
I just felt I had good symptoms this time although they did ease off over the last few days. I swear I felt implantation, I really did have high hopes. Makes the fall so much harder.
I just felt I had good symptoms this time although they did ease off over the last few days. I swear I felt implantation, I really did have high hopes. Makes the fall so much harder.
amanda1235
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Oh Aster I'm so sorry
When's your Beta?
I'm so sorry When's your Beta?
klik
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Oh, Asterimou, I'm so sorry to hear that! Hopefully tomorrow's result will be different, but you're right, it's not looking good... 
And yeah, you had all those symptoms... Oh, I'm so so so sorry... Is that it for you?! Or will you consider other possibilities? I hope tomorrow's result is different... But... if it's not... Just be kind to yourself, and do remember: you really did do everything possible--down to progesterone by courier. Life is really, really unfair sometimes, and there is so so much we cannot control... What you could control, though, you did your very best on! I'm really sorry...
Hopefully tomorrow's result will be different, but you're right, it's not looking good... And yeah, you had all those symptoms... Oh, I'm so so so sorry... Is that it for you?! Or will you consider other possibilities? I hope tomorrow's result is different... But... if it's not... Just be kind to yourself, and do remember: you really did do everything possible--down to progesterone by courier. Life is really, really unfair sometimes, and there is so so much we cannot control... What you could control, though, you did your very best on! I'm really sorry...
Asterimou
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Hi Amanda, they don't do beta's at my clinic. You just test at home. Official date is tmrw but with a FRER it should have shown today
Klik: we have no more NHS so we will pay for one ourselves but have also said that would be the last try. IVF exhausts me emotionally and I'm not sure I can keep going after the 3 tries. I absolutely admire those that do and I'm sure persistence pays off. Do you recommend any clinics? I'm at one in Brighton but I don't rate them that much, couldn't complain as the NHS were paying but now I have choice.
Klik: we have no more NHS so we will pay for one ourselves but have also said that would be the last try. IVF exhausts me emotionally and I'm not sure I can keep going after the 3 tries. I absolutely admire those that do and I'm sure persistence pays off. Do you recommend any clinics? I'm at one in Brighton but I don't rate them that much, couldn't complain as the NHS were paying but now I have choice.
klik
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Asterimou, I'm really happy to hear you'll give it one more try (still holding out for a surprise tomorrow, but I know it's a long shot...) I know what you mean, though, about the emotional exhaustion. I mean, when you get that BFN it is so crushing... And so many of us have had MC's, too... But the hope keeps us going, to the extent each of us can...
I've only ever researched London clinics, but am very happy to share my thoughts. From the HFEA website, it's clear that ARGC has the highest success rates by a mile. They are also eye-wateringly expensive. But that's not what kept me from them... It's more the fact that they continually get told off by the HFEA for one violation or another. It all centers on this one guy, who really does appear to be brilliant... but all the process failures the HFEA complains about scare me off. Also, the wait before an initial consultation is a couple of months (since it's all based on that one guy's availability). Finally, for a portion of your cycle, they might get you to come in twice a day for a scan (to make sure you don't ovulate). Not sure that's necessary if you're taking an antagonist, though--might only be the case for a natural cycle IVF. So, I'm kind of intrigued by them but have stayed away. If I only had one shot, though... I might go with them. Women who go there complain it has a boot-camp-style approach. That wouldn't put me off, personally, though...
My clinic, CRGH, has, I think, the next best success rates--the difference, unfortunately, is significant. Also very expensive, but significantly less. My consultant is Dr Ozturk, and I like him very, very much. He is careful and conservative both with your wallet and with each attempt, which is crucial if you are only willing to do one. They have a very, very good lab, and excellent practitioners. I guess ARGC's lab must be even better, but I've never had a procedure there that didn't do exactly what it was supposed to (egg retrieval: eggs were always retrieved; ICSI: every egg was fertilised, which is crucial for me because I have so few!) It's important, though, that you take a rather active active approach to your treatment. This means, if you have any questions whatsoever, you'd better ask, because the communication is less than ideal. Also, my doctor has said some things that somehow the nurses haven't picked up on, so I have to be aware of everything that needs to be done. (For instance, last time I went for bloods, the phlebotomist asked if it was just for the Zika virus, and I had to tell her, no, it's also for liver function and blood sugar. But I had to be the one to remember!) Not ideal and actually exhausting, but on the whole worth it. If this FET doesn't work, though, I will be leaving them for a clinic in the US, who is better (I think) at handling women with diminished ovarian reserve. But I don't think that's you!
Other clinics I know more from hearsay. I think the one with the third-best numbers is Lister. I think they're significantly cheaper, but also much, much nicer and warmer--apparently you feel very welcome and you are kept in mind much better. I... am not sure I trust their lab so much, though. I mean, I think it's very good, but probably not as good as CRGH's or ARGC's. There is also Create, but they specialise in diminished ovarian reserve, and I really don't think you've got that. They're way cheaper, but I have big questions about their lab. I've also heard really good things about Guy's, which is both NHS and private, but haven't looked into it--I think they have really good doctors and an excellent lab. Another doctor that has intrigued me is one a woman on another forum has been using: Mr Colin Davis, https://www.thelondonclinic.co.uk/consultants/mr-colin-john-davis -- no idea how much he charges, but he sounds really really super-good at detective work, and I have to say, in your place I would be quite tempted by that, as you seem to be producing a good number of eggs but then that doesn't get converted... But the lab he works with--I'm not so sure about (it's CRM, and their ICSI numbers are really not great. But I think you don't need ICSI so maybe it doesn't matter?)
Finally, there are the "it's cheaper abroad" choices. I know you've got a Greek connection, so I'll start with Serum, in Athens. Women swear by them--they're excellent detectives. I don't know how good their lab is, though. If your OH is from Athens, though, it might be nice to combine a trip home with a course of IVF? And the other one a lot of London women use seems to be Gennet, in the Czech republic. They partner with City fertility here, so you don't have to travel for absolutely everything, but City does not have the best lab.
I'm sorry I'm flooding you with information. Many clinics have open days or evenings, and that might be a good choice to get a feel for the clinic without having to have the (paid-for) first consultation. If you want to spend some time on the HFEA website, it's here: https://guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/AdvancedSearch.aspx
Sorry I cannot be more directive... I feel like you should have gotten a much better result, though, given your antral follicle count. I'd also push for a day 2 or 3 transfer next time--your main problem is your blocked tubes--maybe your uterus is the best place for your embryos, rather than the lab...
Anyway, Asterimou, I'm really really sorry. I still hope tomorrow you get a different result. If you don't, you will survive this disappointment... And I hope your next attempt is better--you get an excellent doctor, an excellent lab, and get your pregnancy and your baby after all!
Feel free to ask anything you like! I hope I haven't flooded you too much!
I've only ever researched London clinics, but am very happy to share my thoughts. From the HFEA website, it's clear that ARGC has the highest success rates by a mile. They are also eye-wateringly expensive. But that's not what kept me from them... It's more the fact that they continually get told off by the HFEA for one violation or another. It all centers on this one guy, who really does appear to be brilliant... but all the process failures the HFEA complains about scare me off. Also, the wait before an initial consultation is a couple of months (since it's all based on that one guy's availability). Finally, for a portion of your cycle, they might get you to come in twice a day for a scan (to make sure you don't ovulate). Not sure that's necessary if you're taking an antagonist, though--might only be the case for a natural cycle IVF. So, I'm kind of intrigued by them but have stayed away. If I only had one shot, though... I might go with them. Women who go there complain it has a boot-camp-style approach. That wouldn't put me off, personally, though...
My clinic, CRGH, has, I think, the next best success rates--the difference, unfortunately, is significant. Also very expensive, but significantly less. My consultant is Dr Ozturk, and I like him very, very much. He is careful and conservative both with your wallet and with each attempt, which is crucial if you are only willing to do one. They have a very, very good lab, and excellent practitioners. I guess ARGC's lab must be even better, but I've never had a procedure there that didn't do exactly what it was supposed to (egg retrieval: eggs were always retrieved; ICSI: every egg was fertilised, which is crucial for me because I have so few!) It's important, though, that you take a rather active active approach to your treatment. This means, if you have any questions whatsoever, you'd better ask, because the communication is less than ideal. Also, my doctor has said some things that somehow the nurses haven't picked up on, so I have to be aware of everything that needs to be done. (For instance, last time I went for bloods, the phlebotomist asked if it was just for the Zika virus, and I had to tell her, no, it's also for liver function and blood sugar. But I had to be the one to remember!) Not ideal and actually exhausting, but on the whole worth it. If this FET doesn't work, though, I will be leaving them for a clinic in the US, who is better (I think) at handling women with diminished ovarian reserve. But I don't think that's you!
Other clinics I know more from hearsay. I think the one with the third-best numbers is Lister. I think they're significantly cheaper, but also much, much nicer and warmer--apparently you feel very welcome and you are kept in mind much better. I... am not sure I trust their lab so much, though. I mean, I think it's very good, but probably not as good as CRGH's or ARGC's. There is also Create, but they specialise in diminished ovarian reserve, and I really don't think you've got that. They're way cheaper, but I have big questions about their lab. I've also heard really good things about Guy's, which is both NHS and private, but haven't looked into it--I think they have really good doctors and an excellent lab. Another doctor that has intrigued me is one a woman on another forum has been using: Mr Colin Davis, https://www.thelondonclinic.co.uk/consultants/mr-colin-john-davis -- no idea how much he charges, but he sounds really really super-good at detective work, and I have to say, in your place I would be quite tempted by that, as you seem to be producing a good number of eggs but then that doesn't get converted... But the lab he works with--I'm not so sure about (it's CRM, and their ICSI numbers are really not great. But I think you don't need ICSI so maybe it doesn't matter?)
Finally, there are the "it's cheaper abroad" choices. I know you've got a Greek connection, so I'll start with Serum, in Athens. Women swear by them--they're excellent detectives. I don't know how good their lab is, though. If your OH is from Athens, though, it might be nice to combine a trip home with a course of IVF? And the other one a lot of London women use seems to be Gennet, in the Czech republic. They partner with City fertility here, so you don't have to travel for absolutely everything, but City does not have the best lab.
I'm sorry I'm flooding you with information. Many clinics have open days or evenings, and that might be a good choice to get a feel for the clinic without having to have the (paid-for) first consultation. If you want to spend some time on the HFEA website, it's here: https://guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/AdvancedSearch.aspx
Sorry I cannot be more directive... I feel like you should have gotten a much better result, though, given your antral follicle count. I'd also push for a day 2 or 3 transfer next time--your main problem is your blocked tubes--maybe your uterus is the best place for your embryos, rather than the lab...
Anyway, Asterimou, I'm really really sorry.
I still hope tomorrow you get a different result. If you don't, you will survive this disappointment... And I hope your next attempt is better--you get an excellent doctor, an excellent lab, and get your pregnancy and your baby after all! Feel free to ask anything you like! I hope I haven't flooded you too much!
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Aster, I'm so sorry hun!! Sending GREAT BIG HUGS your way!! xoxo
https://www.commentsyard.com/graphics/hugs/hugs84.gif
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Asterimou
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I got BFN again this morning and can feel AF. I'm just so disappointed. I know I did everything I could but when you give so much and it still doesn't work it just feels like such a slap. I have to go with the flow though, life isn't predictable and that's what makes it exciting I guess.
Klik: thank you so much for sharing your clinic research, I've already looked them up. I think it's between ARGC and Serum for me. We could definitely stay in Athens for the 3 weeks. I'm going to phone them all and do a bit more research. I want to get more detailed analysis on my husband's sperm as there could be something that side stopping the embies from getting strong. They always seem to deteriorate rapidly after day 3
Klik: thank you so much for sharing your clinic research, I've already looked them up. I think it's between ARGC and Serum for me. We could definitely stay in Athens for the 3 weeks. I'm going to phone them all and do a bit more research. I want to get more detailed analysis on my husband's sperm as there could be something that side stopping the embies from getting strong. They always seem to deteriorate rapidly after day 3
klik
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Asterimou: I'm sorry to hear it really is a BFN... I am totally with you: when you give all of yourself and still it's not enough, it is so unbelievably hurtful and frustrating...
For the future, more investigations are a good idea--definitely, whatever can be looked at both in you and in your husband's sperm... ARGC and Serum both sound like good choices to me, though I have no first-hand experience of either... Of course, you'll need to get your info and send it off to whichever clinic it is (you may want to start that process soon--if they do it through the freedom of information act, it might take a while for your data to be released. Or it might be fast, I don't know how your clinic works...)
I'm really sorry, Asterimou... Very glad you've still got another try in you--and I hope that's the golden one!
For the future, more investigations are a good idea--definitely, whatever can be looked at both in you and in your husband's sperm... ARGC and Serum both sound like good choices to me, though I have no first-hand experience of either... Of course, you'll need to get your info and send it off to whichever clinic it is (you may want to start that process soon--if they do it through the freedom of information act, it might take a while for your data to be released. Or it might be fast, I don't know how your clinic works...)
I'm really sorry, Asterimou... Very glad you've still got another try in you--and I hope that's the golden one!
Asterimou
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Wow, just been looking at costs and it is eye watering! I think I need to get the sperm test and pay for a few more investigations. Then we can decide whether we're up for those odds. I have a social worker friend coming over on Sunday and we're going to talk adoption. I want to weigh them both up.
Boopin- good luck at your scan today xx
Boopin- good luck at your scan today xx
amanda1235
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Aster, I can't tell you how sorry I am that it was indeed a BFN. Take care of yourself hun, and definitely a good idea to do all your research before choosing a clinic. Sending you lots of hugs and happy thoughts!
Asterimou
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It's so helpful having you ladies here. You're the only people I know who truly understand how I'm feeling right now. Gutted but determined to get on with life. Struggling at work today, luckily I'm working at home, eyes too puffy for the general public! We really need some success in our little group, it's about time. I will be here cheering you all on xx
klik
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Asterimou, I'll be here to cheer you on, too! I'm so sorry... And yeah, private clinics are super expensive, especially the top-rated ones... For now, I wish you healing, because I know you're in pain...
AFM: My schedule is very similar to Boopin's after all: scan was today, ET is supposed to be next Monday. Test date is June 8th, though, which I'm positive is after Boopin's, because my clinic likes to wait 16 days after transfer.
The news weren't so great: between Friday and today, lining only grew 0.1mm. On my natural hormones I usually have no problems whatsoever, so this is really making me angry that the medicated FET isn't doing as well. Well, at least it is trilaminar... A second sonographer asked me to go back in so she could re-scan it, and she listened to the blood flow (first time I've ever heard that!) and said it sounded good, so not to worry... I can stop the agonist now (yes!!!) and need to add a couple of estrogen tablets to my regimen, and she thinks I'll be golden but I have to go back for a scan on Wednesday just in case.
So yeah, I'm pretty anxious now. I don't want to have made all this sacrifice just to have a bad lining to offer to my little embryo... I need to do some lining-growing dances!
I'm so sorry... And yeah, private clinics are super expensive, especially the top-rated ones... For now, I wish you healing, because I know you're in pain... AFM: My schedule is very similar to Boopin's after all: scan was today, ET is supposed to be next Monday. Test date is June 8th, though, which I'm positive is after Boopin's, because my clinic likes to wait 16 days after transfer.
The news weren't so great: between Friday and today, lining only grew 0.1mm. On my natural hormones I usually have no problems whatsoever, so this is really making me angry that the medicated FET isn't doing as well. Well, at least it is trilaminar... A second sonographer asked me to go back in so she could re-scan it, and she listened to the blood flow (first time I've ever heard that!) and said it sounded good, so not to worry... I can stop the agonist now (yes!!!) and need to add a couple of estrogen tablets to my regimen, and she thinks I'll be golden but I have to go back for a scan on Wednesday just in case.
So yeah, I'm pretty anxious now. I don't want to have made all this sacrifice just to have a bad lining to offer to my little embryo... I need to do some lining-growing dances!
amanda1235
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Klik try to stay focussed on what the second sonographer said.....not to worry!! Hoping that your scan on Wednesday shows good growth, and that all goes well for Monday's transfer.
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Popping in real quick before I nod off!
Aster - I'm so sorry for your BFN. I was convinced, as I'm sure you were. It is so heart-wrenching. I'm glad you have another one left in you too and will be cheering you on! So many things to look into or consider. I know you'll find the right choice for yourself.
Klik - almost there! I'm sure your lining will be good by Wed! Good luck!
Boopin - did I miss it? How did your scan go?
Amanda - how are you holding up? What's next for you? I'm sorry if I missed that too.
Disney - hope you're having a blast!!
Afm - I think I have to skip this cycle. The doc wants me to get a mammogram first. But she has approved IUI w/Letrozole so that's good. And DH and I are going to look into adoption. I brought up the idea of overseas egg donation and he shockingly didn't shut it down. He actually even said we could swing US DE but I don't know about that. It would drain our savings. Sooooooo much to think about and research. almost too many options.
Aster - I'm so sorry for your BFN. I was convinced, as I'm sure you were. It is so heart-wrenching. I'm glad you have another one left in you too and will be cheering you on! So many things to look into or consider. I know you'll find the right choice for yourself.
Klik - almost there! I'm sure your lining will be good by Wed! Good luck!
Boopin - did I miss it? How did your scan go?
Amanda - how are you holding up? What's next for you? I'm sorry if I missed that too.
Disney - hope you're having a blast!!
Afm - I think I have to skip this cycle. The doc wants me to get a mammogram first. But she has approved IUI w/Letrozole so that's good. And DH and I are going to look into adoption. I brought up the idea of overseas egg donation and he shockingly didn't shut it down. He actually even said we could swing US DE but I don't know about that. It would drain our savings. Sooooooo much to think about and research. almost too many options.
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Wish - My appointment went well. My uterine lining measured 11.64 mm with a trilaminar endometrium. My blood work came back great, too. My FET is officially set for 5/23. Waiting to hear back from the embryologist for Monday's transfer time. I'm feeling happy & hopeful again. 
Wishing everyone the best.. ALWAYS!!
Wishing everyone the best.. ALWAYS!!
klik
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Amanda: thanks! I'm pretty nervous for tomorrow's scan, but am somewhat hopeful that stopping the agonist and taking the extra estrogen will indeed help... How are you feeling? Impatient for AF to arrive?
Asterimou: thank you! Yes, trying to remember that sound and those encouraging words for tomorrow... Also, should eat some lamb tonight--not quite beef, but still pretty red! How are you? I'm feeling really gutted on your behalf...
Wish: thank you! I need all the luck I can get. Excellent that your doc approved IUI w/ Letrozole! Yeah, I can see it's getting complicated, with more and more options... If you're going to look into overseas donors, would you consider doing the whole treatment overseas? Might be way cheaper... Oh, no, does that make it even more complicated?
Boopin: I am green with envy! Excellent thickness--well done!!! That is so lovely and lush, hopefully your embryo will dig in and stay cozy this time, all the way to term!
When is your official test date?
The embryologist just called today to give me a time for the Monday transfer: 2:30pm. Still anxious about tomorrow, though... Let's see how it goes!
Asterimou: thank you! Yes, trying to remember that sound and those encouraging words for tomorrow... Also, should eat some lamb tonight--not quite beef, but still pretty red! How are you? I'm feeling really gutted on your behalf...
Wish: thank you! I need all the luck I can get. Excellent that your doc approved IUI w/ Letrozole! Yeah, I can see it's getting complicated, with more and more options... If you're going to look into overseas donors, would you consider doing the whole treatment overseas? Might be way cheaper... Oh, no, does that make it even more complicated?
Boopin: I am green with envy! Excellent thickness--well done!!! That is so lovely and lush, hopefully your embryo will dig in and stay cozy this time, all the way to term!
When is your official test date?The embryologist just called today to give me a time for the Monday transfer: 2:30pm. Still anxious about tomorrow, though... Let's see how it goes!
Asterimou
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Good result BoopinWish: I'm also looking at adoption. I thought I had one more in me but I really am feeling down. Just don't know if I can do it again. Sorry for being negative as I know you have all been through this more times than me. Maybe I need a bit more time. Not making any decisions just yet....laying out the options.
Good luck tmrw Klik
amanda1235
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Asterimou, do NOT feel bad about being negative. And just because some may have been through the process more times than you, that does not diminish your feelings right now. Each time it's devastating. Wish I could give you a huge hug!! Cry it out if you need to, and take care of yourself. Oh, and a glass of wine always helps 
AFM AF arrived!!!!!! I only noticed this evening, so I will call the clinic in the morning and make an appointment for tomorrow or Thursday. Hope the baseline goes well, no cysts, and that we can get this show on the road!!!
AFM AF arrived!!!!!! I only noticed this evening, so I will call the clinic in the morning and make an appointment for tomorrow or Thursday. Hope the baseline goes well, no cysts, and that we can get this show on the road!!!
