IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread

[boopin4baby]

Lovely Ladies

I'm sitting here at work on the night shift with some downtime. A perfect time to give individual shout-outs. Let me start out by saying that we really need some Good Luck on our thread. I sincerely wish everyone the best of luck wherever you're at on this "bipolar fertility ride". Credit given to klik for this phrase... LOVE IT!!

Wish - Congratulations on your recent weight loss!! And I must say that I'm impressed with your attempt at the "Cobra Pose". I hope your IUI is a success. By the way... Miracles happen when we least expect them.

klik - Great news that your UL is trilaminar & thickening again. Positive signs for your August fresh cycle at Cornell. New York sounds like a great place to do shopping or even watch a play or have a fine dinner. Do you plan on making a trip out of your visit?? Enjoy yourself, you deserve it. xoxo

adr - Thinking of you. I pray that you're having a happy & healthy pregnancy!! Update when you can, sweetie.

Disney - Your FET cycle is moving right along. How exciting!! Do you have a tentative transfer date scheduled?? How are you feeling about things this time around?? Oh and Kaiser is paying for the chromosomal testing, thank goodness, because it's very expensive OOP. I'm really pleased with the fertility clinic that I go to. It's called Northern California Fertility Medical Center. The clinic is ran by competent, compassionate and caring professionals from the front to back offices. I'm completely satisfied with their services, unlike the Kaiser fertility clinic. That's why I chose to go out of the Kaiser network. And I have no regrets. Thanks for being willing to share your RE's info with me if needed. I appreciate that kind gesture very much.

amanda - Glad to hear the is paying you a prompt visit. Now, you can move forward with your next steps... Yayy!! What part of Europe do you plan to visit?? I wish you a fun and safe trip. You and DH deserve a relaxing and romantic getaway.

Aster - How are you doing?? You're getting closer to your Aug/Sep transfer date. It'll be here before you know it. GL!! xx

Hope - And last, but not least my friend. You are our beacon of light (hope) on this thread. You give us all reassurance that the IVF process can one day work in our favor. Some roads are just bumpier than others, but if we stay the course we can eventually get there. How are you feeling?? Have you started/finished baby Tanelli's nursery?? Fun times ahead!!

THANKS FOR BEING MY SHOULDERS TO CRY ON. LOVE YOU GALS FOR THAT!! HUGS TO ALL!!

P.S. Do any of you remember brighteyez73 from the earlier pages on this thread?? She recently delivered her triplet baby girls. They are beautiful and all 3 princesses are doing well. She has a YouTube channel if anyone's interested in viewing it.

 

[Wish2BMom]

Omigosh I do remember bright!! That's incredible, so glad she's doing well!!

how are you feeling, boopin? What's next for you?

I love your note about miracles. I know that's basically what it's going to take for us. I don't believe this IUI worked. TMI alert (if we have those anymore...) when I was cleaning out the Crinone yesterday, my insides felt harder, which is typically what happens before AF. I could have been imagining it, and it was also only 7dpo, but I'm just readying myself for AF to come. I'm not having any symptoms of any kind and my boobs would usually be sore by now.

 

[klik]

Wish: the thing about miracles... Well, if I had a penny for each woman I've heard about whose story is, "I just gave up entirely, and then the very next month I became pregnant!" I'd... have many pennies. The problem is, I'm constitutionally unable to give up. It's just not in me! But I'm hoping here that your current lack of optimism is your form of "giving up," which somehow allows you to "let go" and gives your egg/embryo the chance to dig in and make you pregnant! Here's hoping for your own miracle, this time around.

Disneyfan: thanks! My patches' instructions said to put them below the waistline, in the back... Do yours say the belly is the best place? How confusing! Anyway, yeah, I'm with Wish, I found pulling them out to be quite painful... But I hope they do their job of thickening your lining right up!

Boopin: thanks so much for taking the time on your night shift to reach out! And thanks for the update on Bright--I joined this thread right around the time she'd discovered she was expecting triplets. I'm so glad they're all healthy! I hope your healing, physical and emotional, is going well. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I cannot imagine the enormity of the grief of knowing there was a heartbeat and then losing it. I think of Adr, too... I hope she's very pregnant by now. I really do. Thanks again, Boopin, and... much love and healing to you!

I'm actually hoping to get naturally pregnant in this priming cycle. That's ridiculously optimistic! I mean, I even have a humongous cyst! What are the chances?

 

[Disneyfan88]

Boopin - You are an incredibly strong woman, and an amazing one at that! It's so sweet of you to take the time for individual shout-outs during a time that I know must still be difficult for you. You sound like your in a better place right now, and I hope that you are able to continue finding strength and peace as you ride things out and ultimately prepare yourself for your next transfer later this year.

I have been wondering how brighteyez was doing with her triplet pregnancy- that's amazing that she's given birth already. I'm glad to hear that everyone is doing well!

Wish - I'm sitting here with mental pitchforks willing your AF to stay away!! I've still got my fingers and toes crossed that you'll strike luck this month and get that BFP.

Klik - I hope you're lucky this cycle, too! Hopefully the cyst either goes away or does something to positively impact your priming cycle.

AFM - Yeah - the patch was no picnic getting off on Friday. I got up from 1 to 2 tonight, and then in 4 days I get bumped up to 3 at a time. I hope my lining responds adequately because I really don't want to wear more than 3 at a time. By doctor and the instructions indicate I should wear them on my lower belly or near my waistline. Tonight is my last dose of femara, so one less daily meditation to remember.

 

[klik]

Disneyfan: I'm sorry removing your patch was so painful... And really sorry you'll have to deal with so many! Hopefully yeah, 3 is enough! So funny about the different instructions. Who knows why manufacturers pick one spot over the other?! Anyway... I'm sending you line-thickening thoughts!

I had another scan today, this time with my RE. I was right in thinking that we don't really know where I am in my cycle. He had suggested I just forget about this one, but I told him I really want to use it as a priming cycle rather than waste another month. So he's accommodating me, which is nice... But I'm upset that I'm back to being lost in my cycle. My big cyst is still there... Another one is shrinking... No idea if I've got any follicles... But progesterone is low, so I probably haven't ovulated yet--will know more on Thursday. The saddest thing for me is seeing DP so deflated by the news--we'd both hoped it was back to more-or-less normal but he's really disturbed by the wacky cycles (I am too, but I'm a perennial optimist so I don't stay down for too long...)

 

[Disneyfan88]

Thanks, Klik. I got some medical adhesive remover wipes in the mail yesterday. OMG those things work really well - I was able to get the edge marks / sticky residue from the old patch of with a couple of effortless wipe strokes. I'll be up to 3 in a few days.

I'm sorry that your cycle is still being wonky and difficult to decipher. I hope that things become more clear for you soon and that you are able to continue with your priming cycle. Big hugs to you and your DP.

It's currently 11:40 pm here. DD's birthday is officially just 20 minutes away. Where is time going?! I was in labor for a good 40 hours with her, so I spent pretty much all of July 4th in the hospital before she came out via C-section not long after 7:30 pm on July 5th two years ago.

 

[Hope16]

Hi everyone!

boopin...you are so sweet!

I am feeling well. I get up to pee 4x a night, constant Braxton hicks contractions, and I feel like I swallowed a basketball! lol but his kicks are lovely and make it all worth it.

The nursery is almost complete (I've attached a picture). Now I just have to work on the decorations. My baby shower is in 2 weeks, so I'll have a better idea of what I need to get afterwards.

With 10 weeks left, I am starting to get excited and scared. Some days I look down at my belly and think geez, this little guy is gonna come out somehow and it frightens me! LOL

 

[Wish2BMom]

gorgeous nursery, Hope!! and don't worry - as much and as long as we've been trying, the actual idea of having a newborn in my arms both fills me with joy and utter fear!!

boopin - now that I'm on my laptop and not phone, i can respond better! Thank you so much for the indie shoutouts. I hope you're doing better. We all love you and are here for you!!

klik - I think we both started on this thread around the same time b/c bright was in the TWW I think when I got on here! my how time flies...
Thank you for the miracle thoughts as well - I haven't run into that many miracle stories. Unfortunately, I'm surrounded by people who have had intent and been successful pretty quickly. A few, though, that have tried about as hard as we are, but those stories are so much more under wraps.
I hope you get your miracle natural BFP this month - cysts be damned!!

disney - that's awesome that you got the 'Goo Be Gone' for your patches!! I was able to place mine anywhere on either side under the belly button and anywhere on either side on my back, above the bum/below the kidneys. Yahoo for being off of one med!! When's your next scan to see your lining? Happy birthday to DD! She must feel like all of the fireworks are for her!

amanda, aster - how are you ladies doing? you're quiet! I hope you're ok!

afm - 11dpo here, which is my typical LP length (10-11) but since I'm on Crinone, I'll probably go until Friday. Still no sore boobs but I was feeling some things over the weekend:
Saturday (8dpo) - went for a run, forgetting I shouldn't be running, and started having some slight cramps on my left side. So I walked 1/2 of it. Had a more localized cramp on my left side for the rest of the day/night, was cranky, and just felt 'off' like I did with my last chemical. Some lightheadedness.
Sunday - more sliiiiight cramping, ever so slight. Having more cramps at night than in the day. Some lightheadedness.
Monday - same as Sunday but i also managed to eat 2 dinners and a dessert in between! Dinner #1 - steak tips, corn on the cob and a teeny salad. Dinner #2 - chicken, brussels sprouts and pineapple (so they were both pretty sizeable!). A strawberry/blueberry trifle with a scoop of choc ice cream in between. WTH! And my stomach was growling by the time I got dinner #2!

My biggest thing that's making me think this is all in my head, though, is that my boobs aren't sore. They have been with both BFPs before, I'd assume they would be again. But I know I've read tons of stories of women that said their different pregnancies were very different in how they presented themselves, so I'm trying to keep that in mind. And hey, maybe sore boobs for me means a BAD pregnancy so something different might mean something else! As you can see, klik, I'm the ultimate optimist too!

well that was certainly a book!! so sorry!!

 

[Disneyfan88]

Hope - I love your nursery! And you new avatar photo, too! Such a cute bump!! It's amazing that you're only 10 weeks away from your due date! I hope you're able to get some more rest and that you're not getting too uncomfortable.

Wish - I'm continuing to keep all fingers and toes crossed for you! I never really got sore boobs when I was pregnant with DD or this last time (not until much later on). Your current observances sound promising enough to remain positive and hopeful. I hope this is the one for you.

My lining check appointment is on the 14th, and if all goes well, we transfer a week later! My last day of Lupron coincides with my first day of PIO (July 15). My doctor is still deciding if she will have me inject the lovenox in my belly after the transfer.

DD is excited about her birthday. The first thing she asked me for when I said "Happy Birthday" was candles, a birthday hat, and presents. Man they learn early!

 

[klik]

Disneyfan: it sounds like your DD gave you a lot of work on and after 4th of July, but that all that work was totally worth it! I hope she's had the most excellent birthday! Hey, from what I know about you, I'm sure she has! And hurray for the adhesive remover! That sounds brilliant. Sending you some more lining-building thoughts!

Hope: Your bump is indeed adorable, and the nursery is gorgeous! I love the breastfeeding chair (or so I assume!) It looks super-comfy. Aw, what a cozy home for your baby!!! Excited and scared sounds about right. I'm sorry about the contractions and the interrupted sleep and the discomfort... But oh, you are so close! I hope these last few weeks are as easy as possible on both you and your little guy!

Wish: I totally recognise you as an incorrigible optimist too! Hey, we all know that symptom-spotting is, uh... unreliable at best... but I can't help being hopeful that this one has actually worked for you! I mean, if feeling "off" and cranky and crampy and hungry is because you got an implantation, then WOW would that be worth it. I hope with all my might that this time you've got your golden sticky embryo!

I'm still spotting--have been so for almost two weeks now. I can't help feeling something is terribly wrong... But... this is not so dissimilar from when I was taking the BCP and had breakthrough bleeding, and two cycles later I managed to get two embryos without stims, one of which made it to blast... So... Hey, I can always find reasons to hope!

 

[Wish2BMom]

Hope - I actually hadn't noticed the avatar change until disney said something, but I LOOOOVE it!! So happy for you!!

disney - how'd the big birthday celebration go?

klik - would the doc do anymore tests to see what's going on or it's just a waiting game for AF?? how frustrating! I hope nothing is serious and it's just your body being wonky. You're making me nervous now!

ok so I'm going to let you all off the hook and say you can most likely stop crossing things for me. I really do think I'm out, which is fine. I couldn't feel more normal right now, except for being hungry every 2-3 hrs but I'm going to chalk that up to trying to eat healthy and it not being very filling!! Other than that, I got nuthin. I almost stopped taking my Crinone this morning b/c I figured what's the use. But I'm feeling ok about it - expected it, really.

HOWEVER, and this is probably why I'm ok with things, I think we actually are going to try DE. I had some of that wonderful 'can't sleep at 2am' thinking time the past few nights and it came to me that DE would be a fraction of the price of most adoptions, I'd be able to still experience pregnancy (hopefully, and this is something I've found I'm pretty passionate about) and we'd get our newborn. And then maybe a few years down the road, if we haven't exponentially aged by having a newborn/then toddler haha, we can look into foster-to-adoption. AFTER we have some parenting skills under our belt.
DE is costly but I think we can finance it - DH is totally up for it, it seems. So am I. So I think that's the direction we'll go. I'm actually pretty excited about it!

 

[amanda1235]

Hey girls!! Sorry I've been quiet lately, had a rough last week. First dealing with this chemical, hasn't been super easy, then I got a darn cold, then I messed up my neck/back by doing some cleaning/heavy lifting. THEN.....AF arrived on Thursday, and it was honestly the worst one that I've had in years. Crampy, clotty, heavy, and I was a cranky bitch X 100. (Poor hubby). Didn't start feeling somewhat normal again until Monday. Yesterday I had my hysteroscopy, and everything was perfect, not even a tiny little polyp to remove. Which is great! Except........now I'm kinda worried that maybe it's embryo quality due to the donor. (The Dr. said this COULD be a problem, something about DNA fragmentation of the sperm not being tested for or something). When we chose our donor, he didn't have any children of his own, and was new so there were no pregnancies reported. Everything else seemed perfect though, so we went ahead anyways. Now, on his file it says "pregnancies reported: yes" but nowhere does it mention live births. I really hope that it's not because of the donor, as we still have 5 embryos left, and that's a lot of $ and time wasted if it's actually a donor issue. I'm REALLY REALLY hoping that it was just bad luck, and that one of these little frosties are our take-home baby. Sigh....I should feel happy that the hysteroscopy was clear, but now I'm just more stressed. At least if they had found a polyp, then I would have had an explanation as to why it wasn't sticking any more than it was.

Hope, I absolutely love your nursery and baby bump! 10 weeks left!!! That's amazing

Klik, your optimism is great, and I know that symptom spotting gets the best of us, but sounds like you could have some promising ones! Fingers and toes are crossed for you!!

Wish, I'm so sorry that you are out this month. DE might be just what you need, and glad you feel good about going that route!

Disney, Happy Birthday to your little one! Hope you guys had a great day celebrating. So exciting that transfer is getting close!

Boopin', how are you doing? Hope that you are taking good care of yourself and doing things that make you as happy as you can be!

Aster, things good with you?

to all!

 

[Asterimou]

Hi ladies. I've been in a bit of a whirlwind. Traveling around Florida and going to Disney. The conference was full on so didn't have even a day to myself to go to one of the parks. We did look round a bit during 'field trips'. Man it was hot there and I got bitten by mozzies but apparently there is no Zika....yet. All in all it was a fabulous trip and I almost forgot about IVF which I really needed to do for a bit. But now I have all my medical records, I started Accupuncture yesterday and am primed for my appointment at ARGC in a few weeks.

I'm so sorry Boopin. I haven't managed to read all updates but my thoughts and hugs are with you. You must be so disappointed but you seem so strong and I'm sure you'll dust yourself off. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Amanda: I know you are struggling too. All I can say is I was at rock bottom after round 2 but now I feel okay again, and even genuinely happy.

Wish: you aren't out till the fat lady sings! But I hear you on just knowing.

Disney: all I kept thinking at Disney was how much you would have liked things! It was almost like you were missing it is a magical place. Good luck with the lining check x

Hope: nice bump, not long now.

Klik: you are super woman. Why not be optimistic. Someone said to me 'stop worrying about what might not happen, and instead get excited about what could'. Now we all know that's easier said than done but with all your body has been through it's not surprising it's a bit wacky.....anything can happen xx

 

[klik]

Wish: I'm going to be nagging old lady here and get on your case to use the Crinone! A fall in progesterone is what signals the body to destroy the lining (even if you start out with more than you need!), so if--IF!! your embryo has indeed implanted and you just haven't got any symptoms, you don't want its nice cushy home to be torn away. No homeless embryos allowed! That said, I think you really know your body well... and if indeed you're right, I am really sorry... though I am excited about the idea of DE for you. I've still got everything crossed for you, soon, to have your newborn in your arms...

Yeah, I'm having a scan again tomorrow, thanks for asking... I'm wondering if I, too, should have a hysteroscopy. It's certainly been disturbing to hear I've got something called a "dysfunctional bleed." But hey, I still expect to bounce back from that. I just hope it's soon...

Amanda: so sorry it's been painful, physically and mentally... In a way yeah, it's great your hysteroscopy was clear, but in another one does wonder if those embryos are ok... I, too, really really hope those happen to just not have been the best embryos... I think you've heard the numbers too--only about half the chromosomally normal embryos implant and keep developing, and then even youngsters like you make some non-normal eggs... so hopefully it's not a donor-related problem... Hopefully all remaining embryos are good, and some of them are ready to defrost and then stick and stay stuck!

Asterimou: it's great to see you sounding so well! Ah, what a wonderful trip that seems to have been... Sorry about the mosquitoes but SO glad you don't have to worry about Zika! I hope acupuncture helps, and so do your DH's supplements--may all your prep put you in the perfect position to become a mum soon!

 

[Disneyfan88]

Birthday celebration for DD went really well. Man - she caught on really quickly to the whole receiving and opening presents thing.

Klik - I'm sorry to hear about the "dysfunctional" bleeding. I know how frustrating it just be for you. A hysteroscopy might not be a bad idea. Either way, I hope you get some answers about what is going on soon so that you can move on. Good luck at your scan!

Wish - I agree with Klik - don't give up on the Crinone just yet. Hang in there at least until you test. I'm still hoping that this is it for you, but it's great that you're on board with and excited about the idea of DE.

Amanda - I'm glad your hysteroscopy came back clear. I know how frustrating it is to not have any answers. We've done so many tests and still really have no idea why we keep running into road blocks with normal, good quality embryos. If your donor was new to donating, it's possible that there hasn't been enough time since he started donating for there to be any live births just yet. The fact that there are other confirmed pregnancies sounds promising.

Aster - It sounds like you had a fun trip. I love Disney World (and Disneyland!), and I'm positive we would have had a blast together! As of right now, there have been no reported cases of local transmission of Zika in the US. All existing cases so far have been contracted abroad. You sound like you are ready to kick butt on this next cycle. Good luck!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

thank you, ladies! klik - I actually did forget the Crinone this morning so reading your first line, I ran back to the bathroom! THANKS!!

amanda - ugh, yes, I can relate to 'worst AF ever after a chemical' - it's amazing what was able to build up in there after only a few days! I'm glad your tests came back clear, but yeah - scratching the head now. I agree with klik - even if everything is perfect, there is still an ounce of luck that goes into this whole process. I'd take a load off yourself and just hope that this one wasn't forming chromosomal-ly well and the next one will! I have all the hope in the world that the next try will be IT!

aster - your trip sounds very busy but fun! I've been to DW a few times - you can't help but smile when you walk through the gates. They must mist something into the air to help with the load of $$ you just dropped at the door! It really sounds like you are up and rearing to go for your next cycle too. Bring it on!!

klik - yeah, maybe a hysteroscopy would be good. Can you just order that? Good luck at the scan today - keep us posted. Thank you for all of the positivity too!! I do hope that we get our newborn someday soon too. How is it that my clock is FINALLY ticking loudly?? why couldn't this have happened 10 yrs ago?? Little late to the party, life clock!

disney - thank you for the crinone kick in the butt too. I won't give it up!

So I'm a little back on the 'maybeee...?' train. I haven't been able to sleep after my cat wakes me up at 2 every morning. I can't go back to sleep until a couple of hours later - wide awake just tossing and turning. During that time last night, I was cramping. Still having light ones today. I never cramp before AF. Also, everything 'inside' is soft, squishy and my cervix is high. I had GLOBS of cm yesterday, which I haven't had the entire time I've been on Crinone - it actually looked like CM and not crinone residue. I'm of half a mind to go get a test today.

 

[Disneyfan88]

Wish -

 

[Asterimou]

Oh Wish, I'm wish, wish, wishing for this to be your time. How many DP are you?

Amanda: I meant to write last time that I completely understand your DNA fragmentation in the sperm thing as I think my husband may have it. They said the only thing they'd treat it with is pre natals so he is taking them anyway. But your embies all got to blast and were frozen so I think that bodes well, mine didn't even get to blast although that could be me. I would try and put that aside, you have strong embies that were good enough to freeze so I'm sure your little one is in there xx

 

[Wish2BMom]

thank you!! i'm 13dpo today.

 

[boopin4baby]

Fx'd for you Wish!!