IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread

[amanda1235]

Thanks guys! So quick and crazy update.....I went to get blood drawn today, just to make sure my levels were back at 0, last beta was 2 weeks ago, and the levels were at 12. Anyways, my clinic just called today......and they are at 356!!!! Nurse is stumped, and has NO clue what's going on. I'm going back early tomorrow for another test, and the Dr will be there to HOPEFULLY shed some light on what's going on. CRAZY!

 

[Disneyfan88]

Wow Amanda - what a surprising turn of events! Is it possible that you could have gotten pregnant the good old fashion way? Hopefully they will be able to shed some light on what's going on soon. That would be incredible if you end up with some positive news.

 

[boopin4baby]

amanda - I'm sending you all the positive vibes that I possibly can for tomorrow's results. I really hope you get an Au Natural bfp this month. Wouldn't that be crazy amazing after everything you've been through?? You deserve this miracle so very much!! GL!!

 

[amanda1235]

Thanks for the positive vibes guys, but I honestly don't think there is any possible way that this was natural. The timing of the few times we've gotten busy, combined with the fact that hubby has a count of zero, then I just got my period last weekend and then the hysteroscopy......this all makes ZERO sense! Just for fun though, I took a CB digital, and it said "pregnant 2-3 weeks" I'm so confused!!!!!

 

[Asterimou]

So strange Amanda! What is going on?? Maybe this is your miracle �� I would be stumped too but I really hope it is the miracle we've been waiting for on this thread.

 

[Disneyfan88]

Amanda - I hope you get some clarity tomorrow!

 

[Hope16]

Amanda, I will be on the edge of my seat waiting for the good news!! I have everything crossed for you!

 

[Wish2BMom]

amanda - that's NUTS!!!! omg, I hope it's true!!! WOW!! talk about a miracle!!!

all of our dust goes to you now - I tested last night and this morning and both were BFNs. And I started spotting last night, more this morning, so I know I'm officially out. It's ok, though - I'm glad we have DE as the option back on the table.

 

[Disneyfan88]

Wish - I'm sorry that your out. Best of luck with your DE cycle! That's something exciting to look forward to.

Amanda - Thinking of you today!

 

[amanda1235]

So beta was the same today. I have to go back on Monday for another, in the meantime I've been given the list of ectopic symptoms with strict instructions to get to the ER if I experience any. They said they can't confirm that it's not viable, they can't confirm that it's ectopic, we just have to wait and see. I don't feel good about this, I just hope it all gets sorted out before our trip in 2 weeks!

 

[Disneyfan88]

Amanda - So strange. I'll be thinking about you this weekend and hope that you get some answers by Monday. I really, really hope you don't have any reason to go to the hospital. Either way, I'm sure you'll get things figured out before your trip. Hang in there and stay positive.

 

[amanda1235]

And now I'm spitting a bit, brown light pink. Don't know if it's from the hysteroscopy, or something else, gah!!!!

 

[klik]

Woah, dear ladies, I don't know what to say...

Wish: I'm so so sorry it hasn't worked out this time... I'm also glad DE is on the cards for you. It feels to me like you should go through a pregnancy, if at all possible! But I really was hoping this was it for you. You did have one follicle that was looking great... Really really sorry... Are you going to take a break or look into DE soon?

Amanda: I'm so confused I don't even know what to wish for you. I'm sorry you're in this state of extreme insecurity... I REALLY hope it's not ectopic. I don't even know whether to dare hope it's a viable pregnancy--it sounds so unlikely but I know we would all absolutely welcome a miraculous-seeming viable pregnancy! Ok, what I wish for you is: clarity as soon as possible, no hint even of any health danger, an amazing European trip, and a baby ASAP... In whatever way these come to you, may they all come quickly. I'm sorry you're in this limbo--again! I don't get why you seem to be stuck in these in-between states so often... Come on, Amanda's body--cooperate! I'm so sorry. I'd be feeling very disturbed in your place... It's a tough place to be...

Disneyfan: I hope the prep is going really well...

Boopin: How are you feeling?

Hope: Can you focus on anything?! I think in your place I'd be counting down the minutes!

Asterimou: Have you received your NK cells results yet? I hope you get the all-clear!

My scan on Friday was extremely meh. My biggest cyst is still growing--it's like 30x25 now. But I guess it must not be making loads of estrogen, as lining is only 4.8. No other follicles developing--so you get this picture of something really stuck, going absolutely nowhere. Even though I'm supposed to be monitoring for ovulation, my RE doesn't even want me to test LH, as I don't look like someone who's about to ovulate. It's all kind of terrifying. Best news is, I'm no longer spotting, so that at least feels like one step back in the direction of normality. I just keep reminding myself I've had a horrid cycle before, with no development, followed by a cycle where we got two embryos, one of which was my very first-ever blast... So, trying hard to hold onto that hope... Scan on Tuesday. Cornell opens on Wednesday, and I don't even know what to tell them when I call them... "Hi, I'm trying to prep to cycle with you after my next bleed, but I just can't seem to ovulate!"

 

[boopin4baby]

klik - I'm still waiting on the chromosome analysis results from my recent miscarriage. I was told it could take 2-3 weeks for the report. I'm really hoping that they find something genetically abnormal with the embryo, at least I'll have an answer and some closure. The whole situation was very devastating/disappointing for me and OH. To have a strong heartbeat and then nothing at all within a few days time, was really gut wrenching. We made it so far to get to that point and then it was cruelly ripped away. I'm still emotionally processing this miscarriage. On a positive note, I've physically recovered quickly. I have no more bleeding and have zero pregnancy symptoms. My beta was 680 last Tuesday and I'll test it again this Tuesday. I'll keep testing it weekly until it's <5. As far as my final FET goes I plan on transferring my final embryo in October. Until then, I'm attempting to lose 15-20 lbs. I'm on a mission to lose the extra weight. That's my focus right now. Pray for me ladies... lol!!

Ladies - I wish you all the very best!!
klik GL at your scan on Tuesday!! Disney you're in my thoughts & prayers. amanda I hope you get definitive answers on Monday. Wish I'm thrilled that you're considering DE IVF!! Aster any update on your NK cells test?? Hope how are you feeling hun?? I love your bump pics on your journal pages. They're absolutely adorable!! XoXo

 

[Disneyfan88]

Klik - I'm so sorry that this cycle has been so difficult for you. I hope that you get some answers on Tuesday.

Amanda - I'll second Klik's wishes for you.

 

[Wish2BMom]

amanda - good luck today! I hope the weekend went by without any scares. I truly hope this isn't ectopic. How scary. Please keep us posted as soon as you can.

boopin - I'm glad to hear you're holding strong. It has to be devastating to see the HB and then not. I didn't get that far. I think I saw something on my one u/s that I had but she didn't dare tell me that what I was looking at was a HB so I kinda pretended that it was my pulse. But nothing else was pulsing so... Getting in shape and losing weight to be your best physical self for that little embie is a great plan! You'll do wonderfully!

disney - how are you doing? scan this week, right?

aster - how are you?

klik - ugh, sorry about the 'meh' and still non-ovulation! come ON, klik's body!! and the cyst needs to make an exit and stop being such an attention hog! Once again, i like your optimism, though. As Amanda's body is reminding us, we never really know what's going to happen from day to day so may as well hope that positive things are on the horizon! Hang in there - I'm sure Cornell has heard weirder things!

afm - I'm doing fine. Had a great girls weekend at a casino resort in Connecticut over the weekend. Got to bust out some dance moves, donated some money to the Black Jack tables, ate good food, drank good drinks and made new friends (I didn't know a few of the girls). I needed that! One of my friends asked about TTC and offered to either be a surrogate or donate her eggs to us. I mean, come on. I love her for it - who just offers that? I'm of half a mind to take her up on her eggs! She just had her 3rd pregnancy and falls pregnant with no problem. I just think DH would be weirded out by us mixing his sperm with her eggs and then me carrying their baby...oh science, you make me laugh! I think anonymous is the way to go! HA!

 

[klik]

Boopin: I hope you do indeed get some closure... It's true, if you know the embryo was chromosomally abnormal you really can draw a line under it and hope for better luck next time... I'm sorry they're keeping you waiting for so long... I do wish you the best of luck on your plan to lose weight! You seem to eat super-well, and I still can't believe you do your own PIO--you're an incredibly effective person, and I hope you can use that to get your body in tip-top shape for your lovely little embryo! In the meantime... I'm sorry it's been so painful. Like Wish, I've never gotten to the point of a heartbeat. I'm really, really sorry. I'm hoping like mad that next time, the heartbeat will keep going and going and going...

Disneyfan: thank you! I'm thinking of you as you count down your days to your next bleed and FET! How are you feeling?

Wish: thanks! You're probably right, Cornell has probably dealt with more complex cases... I'll let you know how my conversation with them goes. I love that you had such a fab time with the girls! That sounds like really great fun. But I'm totally with you--your friend was super-nice to offer, but, yeah, go anonymous! Otherwise it would be strange for your DH, strange for you, and strange for your child growing up! Anyway, I hope you get the best donor ever, in every possible way!

 

[amanda1235]

Hey ladies! So thankfully, this weekend was pretty uneventful for me, other than just feeling like crap all weekend. Just got the results from this morning's beta, down to 158, which is a good thing. At least if it was ectopic, it might be resolving itself now. Hopefully. They still want me to go back tomorrow, just to make sure it continues to drop. They are really concerned about the whole ectopic possibility, and can't seem to understand why my body does crazy things with the HCG levels. Now, since I had to stop the BCP, I'm sure my next AF will arrive while we are away in Europe, which means we will have to skip August, which is pretty shitty. UGH! I wish I knew what the hell was going on though. I mean, what are the chances that 2 cycles in a row, I have weird HCG levels, and 2 ectopic scares? It's going to make it very difficult not to be a nervous wreck next FET for sure. I also can't help but wonder....if there was something growing nicely, and then the hysteroscopy wrecked it, and now that's why it's going down. I know it still doesn't make sense that the numbers were so low.....but yeah. I suppose I can speculate and worry as much as I want, and it's not really going to do anything other than drive me batshit crazy. So I'll try to stop hehe. As long as this gets sorted out before our trip.....As much as I hate skipping a cycle, I REALLY feel like I need a break from this.

Boopin', I'm glad your feeling physically better, and I'm confident that you will feel emotionally better with time as well. I hear you on trying to lose some weight. I've put on a lot since starting this whole process almost a year ago, and would LOVE to drop some of it before the next round.

Klik, Hope your chat with cornell goes well! I'm sure they've heard more complicated stories, they'll tell you what to do

Wish, your girls weekend sounded great! and wow! How nice of your friend to offer? I mean yeah, could be strange, and I definitely understand your wanting to go anonymous instead, but still, really sweet of her to offer!

Disney and Aster, hope you are doing well!

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh good, i'm glad it's going down, Amanda! in a weird way, b/c the miracle baby would be tough to believe and I think you'd be worrying the ENTIRE time. No need for that, we need to enjoy our future pregnancies!!
I hear you on needing to take time off. That's what happened to me after my chemical in April and it felt wonderful to not think about TTC for a few weeks. I hope you have an amazing trip and I can't wait to hear about it when you get back! THEN start to think TTC stuff again!

 

[Disneyfan88]

Boopin - I must have just missed your post yesterday while I was posting my last reply. I'm sorry that it's taking so long to get your results back. I just checked, and the lab sent my results to my doctor about a week after my D&C. Continue staying strong, and best of luck with reaching your weight loss goal. You've got this!

Wish - Your girls weekend sounds great -- the perfect recipe for destressing. That's an amazing offer from your friend, but I concur with your thoughts. I think I'd be more comfortable with DEs from an anonymous person as I'd always be paranoid that my friend would think of my child as hers. I wish you good luck and positive vibes as you navigate through the process!

Klik - FET is scheduled for next Thursday! Assuming my lining check this Thursday looks good, that is. So, as of right now, the hope is that I won't be bleeding any time soon -- hopefully not for at least a year! I'm feeling good. My meds haven't given me any noticeable side effects so far (*knock on wood*), which is great. I get my new medication calendar at my lining check appointment, but as of right now, the plan is to finish my last Lupron dose a week from Friday -- the same day that I start PIO injections. Good luck with your upcoming ultrasound and talk with Cornell!

Amanda - I'm glad to hear that things appear to be resolving for you. I'm sorry that you had to stop your BCP and that your next cycle has to be pushed back. You'll get there. Hang in there.