Last month of trying before CIO, some questions....

[little_lady]

What I find frustrating about most anti sleep training articles are quotes like this:

Research conducted by Wendy Middlemiss from the University of North Texas[5] have also shown that prolonged maternal non-responsiveness is associated with continued high level of infant stress, which is problematic as their physiological stress responses are developing in that first year. Chronic stress can cause infants to develop an overactive stress response system, which can result in later difficulties regulating social and behaviour responses, such as attention disorders, anti-social behaviour and possibly even obesity. The study found that during sleep training, babies may no longer cry at night even when they are distressed, which results in a disconnect between the baby and its mother. As Dr Sears, a renowned pediatrician, says, “babies who are ‘trained’ not to express their needs may appear to be docile, compliant or “good” babies. Yet, these babies could be depressed babies who are shutting down the expression of their needs.”

Of course prolonged non-responsiveness from a baby's mother would cause stress! But sleep training is not prolonged non-responsiveness. It's a bit of crying for a few days. If you look closely, many of these studies are based on mother/child relationships that most of us would equate with neglect and/or abuse.

If we're talking cortisol, I find that frustrating too. Yes, CIO raises cortisol or stress hormone levels in children. But so does breastfeeding, eating or basically any physical activity. Does this mean these are bad things? You know what also raises cortisol levels in children? Being overtired and not getting quality, sound sleep. In "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", Dr Weissbluth cites cases where children were brought to him because their parents thought they were ill, but they were just chronically overtired.

Earlier research, conducted by Michael Commons and Patrice Miller, researchers at the Harvard Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry, showed that not responding quickly to a baby’s cries can lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when the child reach adulthood. Commons said “Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently, it changes the nervous system so they’re overly sensitive to future trauma.”[6]

How is it possible to even claim such a thing? Is there a study that followed a large population of children who were sleep trained and compared them to a control group of children who were never sleep trained? How can you link cause and effect? With all of the experiences we have as children and adults?


I'm not against reading viewpoints that oppose my own, but I've just yet to read any literature that convinces me that sleep training is truly harmful.

Thanks Noelle, really helpful post.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

Thanks everyone. I know there are so many conflicting studies out there it's hard to know what to believe.
So from our little debate I have a couple more questions if you can help please do...

5. If you choose to 'wait it out' what is the typical time a bad sleeper would start sttn on their own? And what could be the longest it would take?

6. If you choose to do CIO how do you know when to give baby a bottle and when to let them cry?

 

[Noelle610]

Thanks everyone. I know there are so many conflicting studies out there it's hard to know what to believe.

It is hard to know. Just trust your gut. I recommend reading a bit from the experts - Weissbluth, Ferber, Mendell (middle-of-the-road approach), Pantely and Sears and just see what speaks most to you.

 

[Gidz]

Thanks everyone. I know there are so many conflicting studies out there it's hard to know what to believe.
So from our little debate I have a couple more questions if you can help please do...

5. If you choose to 'wait it out' what is the typical time a bad sleeper would start sttn on their own? And what could be the longest it would take?

6. If you choose to do CIO how do you know when to give baby a bottle and when to let them cry?

To answer number six, we haven't started to let her cry it out in the middle of the night but we will start to do that when she's around 6 to 7 months old. Our plan is that if she wakes up sooner than three hours from when she last ate, we will let her cry it out. For example, if she wakes up at 1:30 AM I will nurse her, then if she wakes up again at 2 AM I will let her cry it out/CC.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I used CC with both mine. I went in at 5 minutes, then I would wait 10, then 15. If he hadn't settled, I would bring him back out, repeat rocking to settle, and then put him back to bed. This method took about a week to work for me.

 

[corgankidd]

I did CIO with my baby at 6 months old because he was waking every 40-90 minutes all throughout the night, sometimes was very difficult to get back to sleep, usually would only feed to sleep, and would be very grumpy during the day because he was overtired. So finally we made the decision to do CIO. It took one night. He woke up and we let him cry for about 40 minutes off and on and he fell back asleep. Only woke 2 more times that night and self settled within 10 minutes. Every night after that for the last 3 weeks now he goes to bed at 8 pm and wakes up at 8 am! It was the best decision we made!

And to wishing well- I think the success I had shows that he wasn't forced he just needed some guidance and ended up learning an amazing skill and is so much happier now because of it.

 

[corgankidd]

To answer one of your questions - at your babies age he does not need a bottle at night. Believe me, he will adjust and maybe just eat a little more during the day to compensate for the missed calories. It will probably take a few days but he will learn that night time is for sleeping and not for eating.

 

[Ganton]

I've never heard of the theory that CIO causes greater sleep regressions later on, that's news to me

I *think* what happens is a lack of consistency. For an even-tempered, easy-going kid, you can sleep train quickly and it just clicks. For more strong-willed babies, parents need to be consistent in their responses even after the sleep training is complete. What happens sometimes is that parents do CIO and baby starts sleeping well. Then maybe he has a small regression because he's learning to crawl/cruise/walk, which is totally normal. Instead of responding briefly - going into the nursery, patting LO's back and saying "it's time to sleep" - parents fall into old habits and rock, feed or play with LO in the middle of the night. At that point, LO starts waking again more frequently.

I wouldn't have been able to come up with this explanation myself, but it makes perfect sense when I think about my situation. When I did CC with my LO, it was effective very quickly (he started self-settling and the number of night wakings reduces massively), but I didn't stick with the plan when he got a cold. His sleeping ended up as bad as ever, and we thought CC had just failed. However, we tried again and stuck with it and he now sleeps so much better (self settles in minutes and sleeps through the night). If he's ill, then obviously I attend to his needs, even if that means extra cuddles, but he's straight back in his cot with his usual routine as soon as he's getting better.

 

[Noelle610]

I've never heard of the theory that CIO causes greater sleep regressions later on, that's news to me

I *think* what happens is a lack of consistency. For an even-tempered, easy-going kid, you can sleep train quickly and it just clicks. For more strong-willed babies, parents need to be consistent in their responses even after the sleep training is complete. What happens sometimes is that parents do CIO and baby starts sleeping well. Then maybe he has a small regression because he's learning to crawl/cruise/walk, which is totally normal. Instead of responding briefly - going into the nursery, patting LO's back and saying "it's time to sleep" - parents fall into old habits and rock, feed or play with LO in the middle of the night. At that point, LO starts waking again more frequently.

I wouldn't have been able to come up with this explanation myself, but it makes perfect sense when I think about my situation. When I did CC with my LO, it was effective very quickly (he started self-settling and the number of night wakings reduces massively), but I didn't stick with the plan when he got a cold. His sleeping ended up as bad as ever, and we thought CC had just failed. However, we tried again and stuck with it and he now sleeps so much better (self settles in minutes and sleeps through the night). If he's ill, then obviously I attend to his needs, even if that means extra cuddles, but he's straight back in his cot with his usual routine as soon as he's getting better.

It's not uncommon for them to need a "refresher" after being ill, a bout with teething or traveling. It's kind of like being out of practice... Like if you're a runner, but you sit on your bum and eat cheeseburgers on vacation. The first time you resume your workout routine it's going to be tough. And of course you're right to offer extra cuddles, soothing and reassurance when your baby's not well I think it gets easier as they get older too. Illness and teething don't seem to disrupt Charlotte's sleep too much. Or maybe we're just lucky, which I realize is entirely possible.

 

[stephie_corin]

I just wanted to chime in on the feeding point. I know my LO is younger than yours but he is a really distracted day feeder and I can see him needing night feeds until at least one year of age. Most of what I have read supports the idea that its not uncommon for babies as old as 1 to take 1-2 night feeds overnight.

Good luck with your decision. I think the answer to number 5 is one no one will be able to answer as everyone's experiences are so different. We've been doing some very gentle sleep training (no cry) and after stopping rocking to sleep I've seen improvements in a week.