Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[SadTeacher]

Ah ladies.... Here's an online ((((HUG)))) for you all. We don't deserve this, do we?

I've had bad cramps now since Sunday, and awful, awful PMS. I was a proper monster, I feel so badly for my poor husband having to deal with me. I worked so hard at not crying over the past four days, but ended up sobbing over dinner last night as I knocked a bag of rice over and burnt my onions while I was frantically tidying it all up. Not exactly a disaster, but I felt completely overwhelmed and just sh*t quite frankly.

Finally my AF started at work today, oddly feels like a weight off my shoulders. The kids were brilliant and the lessons went really well, so I ended up having a fantastic day luckily, I was due one!

Month 2 of clomid now. Ho hum.

 

[Sparkle_13]

Oh sorry SadTeacher

And boy do I know what you mean about the PMS I was a right mess the last few days crying at the drop of a hat lol

I normally get pretty PMSy but was particularly bad this month I wonder if it was the Clomid? It was my first month too and I didn't get any other effects but I wonder if this was 1? Seems a nice excuse anyway I might blaim it lol!

Xxx

 

[SadTeacher]

Sparkle_13, I usually have PMS two days before I come on, and I'm just an irrational pig for the whole day. But this was something special. 2 days of grumping and another of just feeling crap. I'm putting that down to the clomid.

Also major changes were ovary pains on my left side while I was taking the pills for the five days, and outrageously painful nipples for four days after I ovulated. I mean so painful it felt like they had been sliced by razors. Not looking forward to that over the next five months! Here hoping the clomid actually works! X

 

[MrsLemon]

I went to the doctors for the 1 year ttc appointment...

and he has sent me away and told me to try for another year before he will help me.

meanwhile.. SIL is pregnant with number 5!!! and 5 friends have just announced they are expecting

 

[CareBear]

As far as I am concerned Christmas can be cancelled, there is no point without children and this is our 7th Christmas since we started ttcing. One chance left to get a bfp before Christmas - I reckon I have more chance of growing.

 

[madtowngirl]

I'm so angry. AF arrived, LATE, and of course I gave in to the false hope that I might be pregnant. Of course I'm crushed, and DH is just all "oh stop worrying." Bite me. When your parents expect me to make an announcement at Thanksgiving, you can tell them about how I'm broken and can't have kids. I'm tired of feeling like I'll never be a mom.

MrsLemon - my doctor sent me away to "try for another year," too. I'm insisting on going in as soon as I can now. My periods never went back to normal after my mc, and now my cycles are varying by 8 days. Two cycles ago was 36 days, last cycle was 27 days, and now I'm at 35 days. The least my cycles have varied since January was by 3 days. This isn't normal, and I'm not okay with it, and if I have to cry and scream and throw a tantrum to get the doctor to see me, then so be it.

 

[Mikihob]

I went to the doctors for the 1 year ttc appointment...

and he has sent me away and told me to try for another year before he will help me.

meanwhile.. SIL is pregnant with number 5!!! and 5 friends have just announced they are expecting

I would go to another fertility doctor. They shouldn't make you wait another year. If you have a fertility problem, then another year won't make a difference. I would definitely switch to another doctor.

 

[madtowngirl]

Saw my sister & brother-in-law today, with our nephews. Kept getting comments about how my nephew "needs to be nice to us so that we'll make a cousin for him."

This on the heels of "I'm sorry, your doctor has no openings until January to see you about your irregular periods."

Great, now I'm totally looking forward to Thanksgiving.

 

[JJKCB]

the hospital moved my appointment so I have to wait another month and hasn't even told us why

 

[madtowngirl]

This is the first year that I've actually hated a holiday. My in-laws are laying the pressure on me, and seeing my little nephew just reminds me of the fact that I should have had a baby by now.

I am also SO TIRED of expressing my concerns and frustration about ttc, and hearing the age old "oh it'll happen when it's meant to happen," "just relax," "have you thought about going to your doctor?" garbage, and I'm just sick of it. Stop trying to give me false hope, and stop assuming that I haven't checked my options. I seriously had one lady tell me I should start doing some research on going to an RE....what the ^$%& do you think I made an appointment in January for?

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

This is the first year that I've actually hated a holiday. My in-laws are laying the pressure on me, and seeing my little nephew just reminds me of the fact that I should have had a baby by now.

I am also SO TIRED of expressing my concerns and frustration about ttc, and hearing the age old "oh it'll happen when it's meant to happen," "just relax," "have you thought about going to your doctor?" garbage, and I'm just sick of it. Stop trying to give me false hope, and stop assuming that I haven't checked my options. I seriously had one lady tell me I should start doing some research on going to an RE....what the ^$%& do you think I made an appointment in January for?

I think people don't know how to behave in this situation. My mum and grandmother know what our problem is and still tell me to relax and it will happen. I also tell them even if it happens I might loose it and they tell me that I should not pick heavy things up. Hahahha it does not always depend on that. But they have these old believes and I just don't bother to explain too much. People without problems can't understand what it is for us with problems....sadly but true....

 

[madtowngirl]

I have a new doozy that I was told today -

I expressed my frustration about my inability to get pregnant to a group of ladies that I joined after my mc. Most of them have gotten their bfps. One lady, who has multiple children, not only told me to "work in a daycare," since I'm "not going to have babies," but she also told me to pray instead of seek infertility treatment.

Now, I am not a religious person, but I do respect others' beliefs...but this made me just lose it.

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

I have a new doozy that I was told today -

I expressed my frustration about my inability to get pregnant to a group of ladies that I joined after my mc. Most of them have gotten their bfps. One lady, who has multiple children, not only told me to "work in a daycare," since I'm "not going to have babies," but she also told me to pray instead of seek infertility treatment.

Now, I am not a religious person, but I do respect others' beliefs...but this made me just lose it.

Hi, Madtowngirl,

I am quite religious, but I also believe that if there is a problem it won't happen itself. We have the freedom to choose and to take decisions. Of course, you should seek for help and try whatever you find for right to have a baby.
Today I told my hubby of because in conversation he mentioned several times for one lady she had 4 years old son. He could not realise that it hurt. He of course apologised. What I mean that seeing others children makes it even harder. Working in a childcare definitely does not make you feel happier. I work with elderly people and I am sorry to say it but my heard is still broken.

 

[tamithomas]

So tired of the talk with DH over babies with both of our eyes lighting up about the topic and then having that awkward silence after because we both realize that it may never happen.

 

[nobump]

Suspicion was correct my ex sister in law is up the duff again. Thought that when I dropped my nephew home last month then today he announced he,s going to have a new brother or sister, happy for them, but why can she have 4 and me none.

 

[SadTeacher]

So tired of the talk with DH over babies with both of our eyes lighting up about the topic and then having that awkward silence after because we both realize that it may never happen.

This is spot on for us too. My heart actually breaks each and every time.

I'm also terrified that my parents will not ever be alive to see grandchildren, if we do have any. They're getting on now and time is slipping.

 

[Jazzbird]

Hello. Can I join? I'm not sure if 11 months of ttc counts as lttc but am starting to feel very sad.

I left it late in life. I was just over 36 when we started trying and I just turned 37. Suddenly my hopes of 2 kids have turned to just one.

Normally I feel down just before AF but this month I stupidly convinced myself I had a very very faint BFP but it is just the evaporation lines on the test strip.

I'm starting to dread Xmas and wonder what on earth I will do with the acres of years ahead of me with no kids. Why have I got a well paid job that I hate? Why have I bought a big house near good schools?

I'm so utterly lost right now. My OH had an operation in July then got a post op infection. He has no energy and no libido. We can only BD twice a month which I don't think is enough.

Hugs to you all. Oh and I'm also a non practicing acupuncturist - which is fantastic for irregular cycles which I read some of you are suffering from!

Xxx

 

[madtowngirl]

Hi Jazzbird, of course you are welcome! I've only been trying for a little over a year, which is not a lot for this board, but feel WAY more comfortable here than on the other boards.

I understand the disappointment of AF all too well. I think most of us do here. I had a cycle a few months back where I had nausea, fatigue, hot flashes...the whole gambit. DH and I had BD'd on all of the right days. I was convinced I was pregnant...and of course I was devastated when AF showed her ugly face. Every cycle I tell myself that I'm not going to get my hopes up, and I inevitably do, only to feel like I've been gutted when she shows.

For what it's worth, I don't think you should give up on your dream of having two children. It may feel like it right now, but it isn't too late.

 

[Jazzbird]

Thanks madtown - I know exactly what you mean about not getting your hopes up. I try so hard every month but I always get excited, test too early, overanalyse test results and test way too much!

Thanks for your positive encouragement. Still waiting for AF - should be here tmrw.

Next month OH has loads of Xmas parties in my fertile week so can't imagine December is going to be a viable month. I think drinking is the kiss of death to sperm!

 

[JJKCB]

and exactly 1 year on the same damn infection that destroyed my cycle is back again