Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[BakingQueen]

Ugh. I just told a coworker (who was sipping her tea promoting lactation) that we've been TTC for 16 months and she automatically went into all of the awful advice that we all complain about.

"Well you should just try to relax! It always happens then!" Um. Yeah - we've tried that. Thanks?

"Maybe you just need a little bit of a vacay to help destress and all of that." Um... yeah. We tried that too. Want to see my pictures from our trip to Alaska?

"We only got pregnant after I started carting my CM. Have you tried that?" YES. Geezus. I've been doing it three times as long as it even took you to get pregnant.

"I've heard that acupuncture works. It helps destress you and level everything out!" Right - except we're pretty sure the problem is my DH's low morphology... so me getting stuck with a bunch of tiny needles doesn't sound like a great time - AND it wouldn't work.

Got anything else for me? No? Good. I'm going to go sulk in my cube and complain to my online forums buddies who actually understand what it's like! ERGH!

to all of you for being awesome and actually being supportive!

Ha! I am so on the same boat as you, even though I am a few years older! If I get anymore pregnancy related questions I’ ll bang someone on the head! Grrrr*&%&^$^%

 

[JJKCB]

everybody moaning about people saying relax... that is exactly why I havnt told anyone we are trying or that we are being tested etc... my mam keeps telling me how disastrous it would be to have another baby though (thanks mam but I dont fancy waiting another 10 years its not like its hard enough now without throwing in age related infertility in too and frankly its already 3 years after when we hoped I would fall pregnant)

 

[madtowngirl]

Sigh, the "just relax and it will happen" garbage. It's not so much the crappy advice that pisses me off, as the fact that said crappy advice trivializes our plight.

One of these days, I'm going to flip a table when someone tells me to relax.

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

I don’t want anyone else telling me to Relax- I cannot frikin' relax after TTC since 2009! I am sure RELAXATION cannot get someone pregnant….all I need is somebody to listen to me whine and cry, is it too much to ask for?

Hi I am listening. This is what I did today. I got angry with my hubby and cried and cried over everything. I am ttc since 2007 .

 

[SadTeacher]

Really thought this was the month- had pink spotting and twitching in my abdomen last night, to the point where I couldn't sleep. Got a little excited... Stupid me. AF showing signs today, due tomorrow.
Would be devastated but my heart has already been broken by this whole process. I'm just broken in general.
Sorry for the very downbeat message but I just had to endure a family dinner with a pregnant lady.

 

[madtowngirl]

I went shopping today. Apparently so did every other pregnant woman in my state. Ugh, it's so frustrating to see a pregnant woman with 2 kids letting them run wild while her husband is messing with his smart phone.

At least looking at the baby stuff (for my nephew) doesn't drive me into a sobbing pile of emotion anymore.

 

[SadTeacher]

Forgot to mention this is an anniversary for us, our two year mark of ttc. FFS.

Madtowngirl- I haven't yet made it into a baby shop. Tried the other day, ended up buying chocs for her as I just couldn't stand it. Seriously, well done to you, it's a trial!

 

[madtowngirl]

SadTeacher - This is one anniversary where I'll tell you I'm sorry, instead of congratulations... I truly hope you'll get your BFP soon.

 

[PyrusEK]

I missed my period yesterday, got a negative test, then that b***h Aunt Flo showed up with a vengeance this morning. To add insult to injury, I've developed a migraine in addition to the killer cramps.

My wonderful hubby got a new job, and I would be super happy about it except that it means he will be travelling often. That means less chances to BD when it counts and even less chance that we will finally get pregnant. I have never even seen a BFP in person and we have no more leads to what the problem could be. I'm starting to think I will never get to be a mother, and I have no idea why.

Yesterday my sister mentioned the possibility of adoption in her future. I am happy for her having made peace with having no biological children (by choice), but I just can't face the idea of adopting at this point. I want to carry my husband's babies. I want to be pregnant, and I want to experience all the things that go with it, good and bad. I want to see our families' spirits in my own child.

There is an article on the website home today about what happens to breasts after having a baby/breastfeeding. I read it, and all I could think was, go ahead an ruin my boobs! Just give me the baby.

 

[Mikihob]

DH and I have started a real estate investing business and we went to the bank to get a mortgage for the house and suddenly I realized that we need money for the closing costs. DH commented that it would need to come from the IVF funds. At first it was ok and then he started talking about down payments and I got scared not knowing for sure if it would work out. Could we stand losing our IVF money and then when we are ready, not have the money.

DH said to me, "If you aren't sure we won't do it. We would have to take from your IVF money." I replied, "Our IVF money." He paused and then looked me dead in the eyes, "YOUR IVF money." I cried. I was in a crappy mood all weekend. Really?? When did this stop being a team effort??!!

GRRR!!

 

[JJKCB]

had my first babyzilla moment today

its my sons first play, we showed up early and waited right by the doors went straight in but got stuck behind some dawdling old granny so ended up in second row but the seat in front where reserved for the class teachers but then a couple showed up late and just plonked themselves in the reserved seats right in front of us (and both where huge the guy was like 7 foot and twice as round) and nobody moved them so I couldn't see a damn thing

what pissed me off more is they spent their whole time their waving around and showing off their 7 month old (also their child is not in kindergarten as their is only one class) so not only have they seen their child's first play last year (and will again in 4 years with the new baby) but they made absolutely sure no one else could even though I might never get that 'first' again

I have load of photos of their bundle of joy though as every time I went to take a photo they shoved their baby right in front of me so I dont even have any pictures of my son in the play - they're lucky I didn't punch them

 

[Countrygirl13]

Grrr.... teaching a bunch of sixteen year olds about the pros and cons of different forms of fertility treatment. Delighted with the level of grsphic detail I was able to include about HSGs and IVF. Gutted that I had to repeat myself to two classes today whild being observed by OFSTED. FS appointment to start IVF paperwork on Weds. Can't wait. Not sure I could teach these lessons after the appointment though.

 

[DBZ34]

There's just something about unexpected u/s pictures popping up on my fb feed that really grinds my gears today. Maybe it's because I'm getting closer to 30 and closer to the 3 year TTC mark... Or maybe it's because today was reproduction day in the science class I help out in and I had to sit through a video that was all about conception and birth. Nothing like watching a video about how other people's bodies work in the ways yours seems to be failing at to get your day started right.

 

[MItoDC]

A friend from high school just announced that she's pregnant with her 5th kid. Her 5TH. I'm just dazed. Meanwhile - my temp dropped this morning and I'm feeling the pangs of AF. I don't even know how to react anymore.

 

[madtowngirl]

Unexpected u/s pics are the worst. I swear, I will never post one of those pics on FB, or make it my profile picture. First of all - eww, gross, I don't want to see your insides, second of all, thanks for the punch to my gut while I was browsing for funny meme pictures.

 

[MItoDC]

Unexpected u/s pics are the worst. I swear, I will never post one of those pics on FB, or make it my profile picture. First of all - eww, gross, I don't want to see your insides, second of all, thanks for the punch to my gut while I was browsing for funny meme pictures.

Right?!?!? I've already sworn I won't even do a Facebook announcement. It will just be something where one post I'm not... and then a few posts later I am. No u/s pics. None of that because I know how awful it is to accidentally scroll across them.

 

[JJKCB]

Unexpected u/s pics are the worst. I swear, I will never post one of those pics on FB, or make it my profile picture. First of all - eww, gross, I don't want to see your insides, second of all, thanks for the punch to my gut while I was browsing for funny meme pictures.

Right?!?!? I've already sworn I won't even do a Facebook announcement. It will just be something where one post I'm not... and then a few posts later I am. No u/s pics. None of that because I know how awful it is to accidentally scroll across them.

I disagree, it sucks seeing it when your sad but I did that last time where I didn't tell anyone, didn't show any U/S and pretty much hid away etc... now I feel like I missed out on a massive part of something special that everyone else got - no way would I hide it away again and rob myself of that, if I ever manage to get pregnant again im doing the whole 9 yards, maternity shopping, nursery decorating, U/S pictures, sharing it with my friends/family, birth classes etc... everything I didn't get last time and if people dont like it no one is forcing them to be on my friends list or be a part of it

 

[MItoDC]

Unexpected u/s pics are the worst. I swear, I will never post one of those pics on FB, or make it my profile picture. First of all - eww, gross, I don't want to see your insides, second of all, thanks for the punch to my gut while I was browsing for funny meme pictures.

Right?!?!? I've already sworn I won't even do a Facebook announcement. It will just be something where one post I'm not... and then a few posts later I am. No u/s pics. None of that because I know how awful it is to accidentally scroll across them.

I disagree, it sucks seeing it when your sad but I did that last time where I didn't tell anyone, didn't show any U/S and pretty much hid away etc... now I feel like I missed out on a massive part of something special that everyone else got - no way would I hide it away again and rob myself of that, if I ever manage to get pregnant again im doing the whole 9 yards, maternity shopping, nursery decorating, U/S pictures, sharing it with my friends/family, birth classes etc... everything I didn't get last time and if people dont like it no one is forcing them to be on my friends list or be a part of it

I don't disagree with you there - I definitely plan on doing all of those things except sharing my u/s on Facebook, or doing one of those announcements where you show a picture of you and DH's shoes and then a pair of little ones and say "we're adding a new pair to the family" or something like that. I just don't want to shock any of my friends who have been LTTTC like we have because I know that gut wrenching feeling you get when you scroll across one of those. But you better believe I'll be doing EVERYTHING else - especially nursery decorating (I already have a hidden Pinterest board devoted to it) and maternity shopping!!

 

[JJKCB]

Unexpected u/s pics are the worst. I swear, I will never post one of those pics on FB, or make it my profile picture. First of all - eww, gross, I don't want to see your insides, second of all, thanks for the punch to my gut while I was browsing for funny meme pictures.

Right?!?!? I've already sworn I won't even do a Facebook announcement. It will just be something where one post I'm not... and then a few posts later I am. No u/s pics. None of that because I know how awful it is to accidentally scroll across them.

I disagree, it sucks seeing it when your sad but I did that last time where I didn't tell anyone, didn't show any U/S and pretty much hid away etc... now I feel like I missed out on a massive part of something special that everyone else got - no way would I hide it away again and rob myself of that, if I ever manage to get pregnant again im doing the whole 9 yards, maternity shopping, nursery decorating, U/S pictures, sharing it with my friends/family, birth classes etc... everything I didn't get last time and if people dont like it no one is forcing them to be on my friends list or be a part of it

I don't disagree with you there - I definitely plan on doing all of those things except sharing my u/s on Facebook, or doing one of those announcements where you show a picture of you and DH's shoes and then a pair of little ones and say "we're adding a new pair to the family" or something like that. I just don't want to shock any of my friends who have been LTTTC like we have because I know that gut wrenching feeling you get when you scroll across one of those. But you better believe I'll be doing EVERYTHING else - especially nursery decorating (I already have a hidden Pinterest board devoted to it) and maternity shopping!!

everyone on my facebook seems to be constantly pregnant anyway (seriously their is an 18 year old who has just popped out one a few months ago and is duffered again and all ready on the '3rd' dad despite only being 8 weeks gone, its like jeremy kyle on my facebook lol)... the only LTTTC friend had her son 7 months ago and to be honest the rest of the people that I dont know/never talk to shouldnt be on my friends list if they dont care about my life, I constantly see U/S pictures sometime it makes me sad but ive never blamed anyone for doing it, its their right to show of the proudest thing in their life on their profile, ive never seen the shoes thing done though (to be honest it sounds a little tacky)

I think doing the nursery was the thing I missed most, OH mam gave some cheap horrible 3rd hand cot and my son slept in my room for 3 years so he never had a nursery as we just didnt have the room (I did buy wallpaper when he was about 6 months but it never got put up )

I know exactly what cot and everything I would get if I have the chance again

 

[SadTeacher]

Nodding my head in sympathy to all the posts on this page, I get the same feelings too.

But I have promised myself not to start looking at any baby stuff until I'm actually preggers. So no researching baby names (I did that for the first few months and had to stop), no shopping, not even what to eat or drink while up the duff. It would be too hard I think, and I want something to look forward to!

I have however thought how I'd behave on fb etc if I ever conceive. I think I would end up shouting it from the rooftops I'm sorry to say, because it has taken me so f@@king long and I would just be so overjoyed.

I actually have no idea how I'll react tbh, I don't really allow myself to daydream about it because it is so heartbreaking. I may never get to know how it feels. Terrifying.