Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[wannabemummyb]

Just read the most enraging article on Yahoo (that should have been my first clue not to read it) about how some half-baked study indicates that 25% of miscarriages are preventable.

Thanks for putting the blame back on me. As if I didn't feel horrible enough about my loss and subsequent IF.

If you see the article, don't read it. It's poor science, at best, and mc-shaming at worst.

Is that the article where if you are underweight, overweight, obese etc that you have 25% chance of mc?

I heard about it on the radio!!!!

 

[madtowngirl]

Yep, that's the one!

 

[JJKCB]

urg.... I know we are all meant to support each other here (and on the other forums) but im sick to f*cking death of seeing women on here who have been trying half the time or much less than me (I know im a relative newbie at only 2 years but these people shouldn't even be in these forums, ltttc doesn't even start until after 12 months) receiving help easily when we are being made to jump though f*cking hoops

how are these women getting things like clomid prescribed like sweeties after only 8 months ttc (with m/c or chemicals that show they can ovulate and get BFPs which often seems to knock their actual ttc to 5 months which by the way is NOT ltttc in any way) and yet for 9 months (longer than they have even been trying) ive been referred for the exact same tests time and time again

9 months of tests after having to wait a year to qualify for help even though they knew about my problem for over a year before we started actively trying and knew we had no chance anyway and they keep postponing my appointment - all I want is the damn drugs so I can stand a chance.... someone please tell me how these other women get it so easily because im confused its so f*cking unfair

nearly 3 years ive been waiting for help and meds (not just clomid) and im actually suffering other medical issue caused by the same problem (I have hormone imbalance - low progesterone, high estrogen, high prolactin - that has left me with many painful tumors which are growing due to no medications to fix the imbalance which increase my risk of lymphoma) but then people who dont even have problems are getting the meds I NEED like they are sweets - why????

sorry for the rant it just pisses me off

 

[JJKCB]

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED CHILDREN... END OF

how is it that good people and good parents struggle and selfish pricks who only think of themselves have never put their child first a second in their life have everything so easy????
where is Karma

how come rapist, child murderers, peadophiles, abandoners, drug addicts and just shitty parents in general etc... can pop out child after child with no problem but people who can be good parents cant?

 

[JJKCB]

also I said I wouldnt let LTTTC turn me bitter but the longer im at it the more I hate people and the world... so many people just do not deserve their easy lives when others struggle even though I guess that the way of the world

 

[madtowngirl]

Why do my boobs hurt and feel huge if I'm not pregnant?!?!?! STUPID BODY!!!!

 

[blessedlife]

I am: Long-term trying to conceive; Trying to conceive #1 over 35; Trying to conceive after a loss; Assisted conception.

At first I thought it would be so simple. I'm very, very tired and I feel broken.

 

[MItoDC]

to everyone. LTTTC is so hard. And so heartbreaking. And so defeating.

We've just entered our 18th cycle (and month) TTC. I can't believe it's been that long since we said "Let's start our family" with not even a hint of a BFP. All of my tests have come back clear and normal - but we're waiting on DH's second SA. The first one was quite bad - and if this one is similar it may be that our only option is IVF with ICSI... which we can't afford right now. I just wish someone could look into my future and tell me when we'll have kids so that I could stop obsessing over it. It's all-consuming.

 

[mariposa0283]

finally a place just perfect for me!

ive been ttc since april of 2008, so almost 6 freaking years! i got my bfp FINALLY last summer... only to realize 4 days later that it was a loss. YAY! thanks so much whoever is in charge of this baby giving thing. SO MUCH! i appreciate you killing my baby.

long story short, june cycle was my first iui cycle. tested 14dpo, negative, quit progesterone, had bleed, continued with july cycle, injects and iui, tested trigger at 8dpt and test was as dark as control line... i knew then it was definitely not trigger. had a beta drawn about 4 days later and it came back at almost 8k. sure enough my june iui got me pregnant... i knew straight away something wasnt right though, once i got done crying from the sheer happiness and shock of finding out after over 5 long years of trying i was FINALLY PREGNANT! went in to my regular doctor the next day for an u/s to date the pregnancy, there was an empty sac and she dated me at around 5w4d..... went home and then started overthinking things... "5w4d, i was on my period when i should have been ovulating if im really that far along so i definitely wasnt having sex". sure enough, everyone tells me i jump to the worst conclusion possible. i was right. i went to my RE the following tuesday for a confirmation, she diagnosed my blighted ovum. prescribed me cytotec and i induced my mc that night.

she sits me out for 2 cycles, im finally able to get back into it in november because they were comping (turned out they lie... a lot) due to their neglect and me spending thousands on treatment for a cycle when i was already freaking pregnant. cycle got cancelled because they're idiots and i was broke and couldnt afford more meds. i ovulated a week later anyways (see, idiots!).

now here it is the end of february and im STILL on hold from ttc how i want to be (injects and iui's). im doing unmonitored femara in the mean time but my lp is only 7 days and hubbys swimmers are lazy turds... not to mention my sex drive flew to the moon and has yet to return, so im less than hopeful that getting pregnant at home will actually work. but i guess doing something is better than nothing.

now im coming up on my 6th year of ttc and still have no baby to cuddle. my dd is in a week and a half and i havent even got to start trying again officially.

 

[8longyears]

I just read a post, from a forum off another site, i had googled "miracle pregnancy's with endometriosis" and found where a women had wrote about her "long and hurtful journey ttc" she had tried for "8 long and dreadful months" .....................

UGH!!!!!
POOR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! 8 months of wanting a baby oh soo bad. peeing on sticks and seeing negatives, 8 months. really????????? she has got some nerve!!!!

i dont even want to do the math but the months i have had after after has got to be enough to make her head spin.

dont mind if i do

 

[lady124]

I went out to lunch with a friend today. I was telling her how much I am dreading the hen do of one of our common friends, as it is going to be full of mums and mums to be. She replied: " I am going to be the only single woman in there". My initial reaction was to think: "Don't you dare compare our situations! Mine is much worse" But then I put it into perspective and couldn't help but burst out laughing at my own selfinesh… Yes, I have been ttcing for 2 years, had a mc,I am in distress. She is 35 and hasn't had a relationship in years (and given her current lifestyle, I am not sure how she is going to meet her prince...) She has seen all her friends get boyfriends, get married, even have babies.I am not saying I don't have the right to be upset about not been able to conceive, but somehow it has made me realise that others also suffer, made me feel less lonely...

 

[JJKCB]

I went out to lunch with a friend today. I was telling her how much I am dreading the hen do of one of our common friends, as it is going to be full of mums and mums to be. She replied: " I am going to be the only single woman in there". My initial reaction was to think: "Don't you dare compare our situations! Mine is much worse" But then I put it into perspective and couldn't help but burst out laughing at my own selfinesh… Yes, I have been ttcing for 2 years, had a mc,I am in distress. She is 35 and hasn't had a relationship in years (and given her current lifestyle, I am not sure how she is going to meet her prince...) She has seen all her friends get boyfriends, get married, even have babies.I am not saying I don't have the right to be upset about not been able to conceive, but somehow it has made me realise that others also suffer, made me feel less lonely...

to be fair I have little sympathy for my friends not in relationships (especially when they moan) because they put themselves in that situation, not having a relationship for years is a choice (put in some effort a prince isnt just going to climb in your window while your asleep this isnt a fairytale and lets face it if he did you would have him done for breaking and entering anyway) not being able to have children isnt a choice (unless your on BC)


I actually was sat within ear shot of 3 women a few months ago and struggled not to LOL at the them, they where 25 and all on dating sites (maybe try meeting people in person its easier and ive yet to meet anyone with success on dating sites) moaning how hard it is to find a man but then listing all the impossible standards they had set that he had to:

have no tattoo
a job that makes £30,000+ per year
but spend all his time with them
he wont go out with his friends (but they can of course)
work out and be muscle-y (and stay that way)
be good looking like brad pit
to of served in the army
to basically of not dated anyone else
to constantly buy them presents
to pay for them

the list went on and on and they sat pulling apart all the guys that had messaged them... all I could do is giggle at the fact they are never going to find some one and its their own fault - you cant put such stupid conditions on love so good luck to them in their lonely lives

 

[DBZ34]

I agree, some women choose to be single and then moan about it, just as I have friends who choose to be in dead-end relationships and moan about it. I can't tell you who I sympathize with more in those cases...if at all.

Then again, I have friends who aren't in relationships and it's not really their choice. They've tried and tried and just haven't found a person they could see themselves making a life with or the other person has ended it. I suppose not settling is their choice, sure, but would you want to spend your life with someone you don't mesh with? With someone who doesn't want what you want out of life? It's not just being single, it's the building toward a life with someone. I often find myself worrying about my single friends.

I know having kids isn't the end all, be all, and not all of my friends even want kids, but some of them, by the time they find someone to settle down with might be considered "too old" to have kids. Being over a certain age can thrust you straight into LTTTC, but at least they get help earlier.

But maybe, it shows just where my mind is at, that the first thing I think about sometimes is if my friends will still be able to have kids when they do settle down.

LTTTC does suck though and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Maybe we do get the shorter end of the stick, but we aren't the only ones suffering...and sometimes it's good to remember that.

 

[JJKCB]

ARGGGG..... my munchousens cousins has just announced over Facebook via a scan that she is pregnant again with her second child in under 2 years (she already lost custody of the eldest child and spent over 2 years locked up in a psych ward and their has been some iffy stuff with her youngest)

but

this hurts even more because I guess im a little suspicious as our family births run in years of 4 (always has and she is 4 years older than me, im 4 years older than our other cousin, who is 4 years older than my brother... our kids follow the same pattern her child, 4 year later mine, 4 years later hers etc...) so its MY turn I always sort of believed (or hoped) the back up that the pattern would mean i would at least have a child in the next 3 years but now I dont believe it

this is everything wrong with this world

 

[JJKCB]

I agree, some women choose to be single and then moan about it, just as I have friends who choose to be in dead-end relationships and moan about it. I can't tell you who I sympathize with more in those cases...if at all.

Then again, I have friends who aren't in relationships and it's not really their choice. They've tried and tried and just haven't found a person they could see themselves making a life with or the other person has ended it. I suppose not settling is their choice, sure, but would you want to spend your life with someone you don't mesh with? With someone who doesn't want what you want out of life? It's not just being single, it's the building toward a life with someone. I often find myself worrying about my single friends.

I know having kids isn't the end all, be all, and not all of my friends even want kids, but some of them, by the time they find someone to settle down with might be considered "too old" to have kids. Being over a certain age can thrust you straight into LTTTC, but at least they get help earlier.

But maybe, it shows just where my mind is at, that the first thing I think about sometimes is if my friends will still be able to have kids when they do settle down.

LTTTC does suck though and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Maybe we do get the shorter end of the stick, but we aren't the only ones suffering...and sometimes it's good to remember that.

if you dont fit you shouldn't stay, you can date more than one person (just hopefully not at the same time lol) - it took me 14 people for me to meet my other half and I know im lucky as thats not a huge amount, some where just one or two dates (all it took to realize we didn't fit at all), some where a few weeks (a bit more of a chance to realize if we really dont go) and some where many months (genuinely thought their was a chance but it just didn't work) but if your not open to it by dating or having relationships then it cant happen.

I think the main line is 'she hasnt had a relationship in years'... well you wont find someone if you dont look (good things come to those who get off their ass and try like hell) its fine if you dont want one but dont moan if your not trying to date etc...

 

[DBZ34]

ARGGGG..... my munchousens cousins has just announced over Facebook via a scan that she is pregnant again with her second child in under 2 years (she already lost custody of the eldest child and spent over 2 years locked up in a psych ward and their has been some iffy stuff with her youngest)

but

this hurts even more because I guess im a little suspicious as our family births run in years of 4 (always has and she is 4 years older than me, im 4 years older than our other cousin, who is 4 years older than my brother... our kids follow the same pattern her child, 4 year later mine, 4 years later hers etc...) so its MY turn I always sort of believed (or hoped) the back up that the pattern would mean i would at least have a child in the next 3 years but now I dont believe it

this is everything wrong with this world

Aww... I'm sorry she broke the pattern. But, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that means you'll get your turn soon anyway.

 

[JJKCB]

ARGGGG..... my munchousens cousins has just announced over Facebook via a scan that she is pregnant again with her second child in under 2 years (she already lost custody of the eldest child and spent over 2 years locked up in a psych ward and their has been some iffy stuff with her youngest)

but

this hurts even more because I guess im a little suspicious as our family births run in years of 4 (always has and she is 4 years older than me, im 4 years older than our other cousin, who is 4 years older than my brother... our kids follow the same pattern her child, 4 year later mine, 4 years later hers etc...) so its MY turn I always sort of believed (or hoped) the back up that the pattern would mean i would at least have a child in the next 3 years but now I dont believe it

this is everything wrong with this world

Aww... I'm sorry she broke the pattern. But, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that means you'll get your turn soon anyway.

thank you, I hope so

I have FS appointment on Tuesday and after 7 months of tests this time im not leaving without treatment (unless security physically evict me) so im praying thats my start

 

[PyrusEK]

maybe try meeting people in person its easier and ive yet to meet anyone with success on dating sites

I met my husband on a dating site. I had to kiss a few frogs before I found my prince, but it happened. Also, my sister met her hubby on one, and a couple of my good friends met their spouses online. It's a changing world!

I definitely agree you've got to be more open minded than those girls sound. You have to realize that you're meeting an actual person, not custom ordering a robot.

Sometimes I wonder... If I had known beforehand that we would have trouble conceiving and that it would be a male factor issue, would I have chosen my mate differently? Would I have sacrificed the happiness we currently have together for the possibility of having kids without problems? Right now, I'm very happy in my relationship and feel that the LTTTC is worth it. But I wonder if I will feel differently about that in 20 years if we end up not having any kids. I'm scared of the resentment I may feel.

I've been working with a personal trainer for the past two weeks, and when I told him about LTTTC, he said something along the lines of, "You'll get pregnant in no time with me training you!" I know he was trying to be motivational, but inwardly I was sighing and shaking my head. He has no idea what's actually going on, and I just didn't have the energy to go into it.

 

[JJKCB]

maybe try meeting people in person its easier and ive yet to meet anyone with success on dating sites

I met my husband on a dating site. I had to kiss a few frogs before I found my prince, but it happened. Also, my sister met her hubby on one, and a couple of my good friends met their spouses online. It's a changing world!

I definitely agree you've got to be more open minded than those girls sound. You have to realize that you're meeting an actual person, not custom ordering a robot.

Sometimes I wonder... If I had known beforehand that we would have trouble conceiving and that it would be a male factor issue, would I have chosen my mate differently? Would I have sacrificed the happiness we currently have together for the possibility of having kids without problems? Right now, I'm very happy in my relationship and feel that the LTTTC is worth it. But I wonder if I will feel differently about that in 20 years if we end up not having any kids. I'm scared of the resentment I may feel.

I've been working with a personal trainer for the past two weeks, and when I told him about LTTTC, he said something along the lines of, "You'll get pregnant in no time with me training you!" I know he was trying to be motivational, but inwardly I was sighing and shaking my head. He has no idea what's actually going on, and I just didn't have the energy to go into it.

aww thats sad, I hope you dont end up regretting it... I cant imagine life without my DS (I have always known that I would have kids) and I cant imagine not having more (we will all get their eventually I hope) but I do get what your saying as my OH is my best friend and I dont think id fit as well with anyone else

I resent my other half a teeny bit because I have the main issue but he has a self inflicted issue (his swimmers a basically drunk ) and although he cut back on the drinking he still drink more than he should but then its always p***ed me off as I quit drinking and smoking the day I found out about being pregnant and he swore he would and never did

hopefully cutting back has helped us and good luck with your trying maybe you can find something the helps yous

 

[JJKCB]

NEVER been so hurt, angry and let down before... after 7 months with the FS they will NOT help me at all because I dont have PSOS - WTF???

they say of my blood tests (each month) 1 showed mild ovulation so I count as 'unexplained' fertility and they will refer me for IVF (which I dont qualify for and cant afford) but they wont even try Clomid because apparently it is ONLY used for PSOS and not for people with week, damaged or irregular ovulation - fucking bollox

well since im a medical scientist and I know my body, understand my test, know the doctor is talking bollox and am more the qualified/knowledgeable to monitor myself and have access to all the equipment needed in the lab (just cant prescribe) anyone know any Canadian websites where I can buy Clomid?

pretty much a year wasted (as they wont even consider a second opinion for another 3 months making it 11 and a half months ive been under their 'care')

also insult to injury... 5 yes 5 fucking people have announced their pregnancy on facebook in the last 2 fucking days and 3 have just had babies and 1 is moaning constantly about a miscarriage despite the fact she drinks, smokes, got tattooed and took nothing seriously (of a baby she threatened to 'kill' more than 8 times)