Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[tamithomas]

I'm only popping in here because I surfed this board when we were told we couldnt have anymore children, but have you ladies tried Soy Isoflavones (I'm sure you have!!!)

We were told April 2013 that our daughter born 2012 was a sheer miracle, and that the likelihood of us conceiving even WITH help, would be about 5%. Tried Soy for a few cycles and now expecting baby 2 in August

I'm sorry if I've intruded, I just wanted to ask x

I appreciate the effort and what you're trying to do but this is the vent thread. We come here to get away from bfp's. They're not taken too lightly on this particular thread since it's supposed to be our escape from them. congrats though.

On wondering if we've ever tried Soy: since it's the LTTC, everyone here has studied day and night of different ttc methods and soy is one of the most common ones so essentially pretty much everyone knows about it. Evidently, it hasn't worked since we're still here.

I don't mean to come off cold it's just nails on a chalkboard to hear such type of suggestions when they're common knowledge and we already get the "have you tried this" in our real life, to get it in our vent thread is a tad annoying. Wish you a happy and healthy 9 months.

 

[PiggieFarmer]

I appreciate the effort and what you're trying to do but this is the vent thread. We come here to get away from bfp's. They're not taken too lightly on this particular thread since it's supposed to be our escape from them. congrats though.

Good way to put it.

I also tried soy milk for a while. I gained ten pounds and was constantly gassy... yet no BFP.

 

[madtowngirl]

Two bfp FB announcments today - great. I needed to be sick to my stomach with grief today.

 

[Hope3]

Two bfp FB announcments today - great. I needed to be sick to my stomach with grief today.

 

[madtowngirl]

...oh sorry, make that THREE bfp announcements today. Excuse me while I go bawl in a corner. Will it ever be my turn?

 

[DBZ34]

3 in one day? That's just cruel.

I just got one over email, which was better than it popping up on my fb feed, but it still caught me totally off guard. Add to that, she's due right around when I would have been due with the baby I mc'd in Feb and I feel a lot of sadness before I can bring it back to being happy for her. So, I bring it up with DH and he says, "Oh yeah, I knew that already. Didn't I tell you? "

No, you didn't and it would have been nice not have been blindsided.

 

[Myshelsong]

It is Father's Day here in Canada and I posted a simple happy Father's Day all the fathers and grandfathers yada yada yada… to which a friend of mine applied "when are you going to make your hubby a father so he can celebrate Father's Day"
I was feeling fairly angry so I emailed her back privately and let her know we were going to a fertility clinic and we were on a waiting list for over a year, and that I thought she and her husband knew as we told them last Xmas.
She replied that she did not know and would think if us, then added this gem .... well if it is to be it will you just have to be patient. Maybe you just aren't ready yet and something or someone knows that

Well thanks, it is great to know that God or the gods or fate for the universe is making me miserable day in and day out. What a lucky in life I lead!

 

[Hope3]

It is Father's Day here in Canada and I posted a simple happy Father's Day all the fathers and grandfathers yada yada yada… to which a friend of mine applied "when are you going to make your hubby a father so he can celebrate Father's Day"
I was feeling fairly angry so I emailed her back privately and let her know we were going to a fertility clinic and we were on a waiting list for over a year, and that I thought she and her husband knew as we told them last Xmas.
She replied that she did not know and would think if us, then added this gem .... well if it is to be it will you just have to be patient. Maybe you just aren't ready yet and something or someone knows that

Well thanks, it is great to know that God or the gods or fate for the universe is making me miserable day in and day out. What a lucky in life I lead!

Your friend could have offered a simple 'I'm sorry I upset you" instead of a load of psychobabble about the universe. Some people have no clue!

 

[madtowngirl]

OMG Myshelsong! What a terrible thing for her to say!

I didn't get anything that inconsiderate, but my husbands family made several pointed comments that he WASN'T a father. "Happy Father's Day! But not to you." Um, we have dogs, so you could at least humor us that way. Jerks.

 

[Myshelsong]

Animals count as far as I am concerned!
It was even after I said that I don't't announce it in FB specifically because I didn't want the comments that would be meant with love but would be hurtful. I was stunned and just stopped chatting all together.

 

[EmmyReece]

I seriously need to start coming and venting here more often as I think I'm driving my poor dh crazy with all my venting

We're on our long awaited honeymoon and just before we set off I found out that the woman down the road who has 10 children (yep 10!!!), her 2 eldest daughters are both pregnant and due at the end of the year. Add to that I'm having my first cycle in 8 months that's over 54 days long (cd61 and counting), definite bfn yesterday morning and I feel like complete and utter cack

 

[Irish_eyes]

Myshelsong I can't believe your so called friend said that. I really wish people who have never been through what we have been through stopped thinking they understand what we are going through and thinking their advise helps!!!

My mum said to me not so long ago that she understand what I am going through maybe not because she has been through but because she is my mother. I still had to correct even my mum as say that she has no idea what it's like even if she is my mum.

 

[Hope3]

Irish Eyes I sympathise. I've just got off the phone to my mum. Despite 2 losses and ttc 4 years to have me, her first, my mum came out with all the infuriating things that some people say when they think they're being helpful, the worse being just relax and stay positive. I've been in bits these last two days but have been sinking towards depression for months. Being told to stay positive does not help! Only at the end of the the call did I get "I know what you're going through". That's all I wanted to hear.

 

[EmmyReece]

I totally sympathise on the being told to be patient and relax part. My cousin who knows we're struggling keeps telling me to relax and it will happen when it happens I want to be like the others who can just drop their knickers and get pregnant when they want

 

[Hope3]

I totally sympathise on the being told to be patient and relax part. My cousin who knows we're struggling keeps telling me to relax and it will happen when it happens I want to be like the others who can just drop their knickers and get pregnant when they want

That last sentence made me smile.

 

[lady124]

Don't get me started on my DH and drinking....I had to practically shout the house down to get him to lay off three months before our IUI. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration....it's more like I had to nag him for a week and a half straight to get him to stop. There were some raised voices though...and some googling of alcohol's effects on sperm. And when I tell him about all the things I've started doing or given up for the sake of TTC, like alcohol for instance, he says things like "You don't have to do that". Of course I don't have to do it, I do it because I want a baby more than I want a drink. He doesn't get that though. Ugh....

It does frustrate me too... My husband doesn't drink, but his diet is less than ideal. So I bought him some vitamins, but I can't convince him to take them every day. He just claims he doesn't need them, because otherwise his pee would not go orange (sorry if tmi)Just wish he humoured me, even if he doesn't believe iin it...

 

[EmmyReece]

Seriously, is summertime the time for people to go at it like rabbits??? Another 2 pregnancy announcements and here's me, cd 69, no sign of af, bfn this morning and starting to shove the supplements down my neck again (I stopped while we were on honeymoon as I didn't want to take the tablets with me in case my bag got searched because of them, really wish I hadn't stopped now as it's totally messed my cycles up)

 

[Charlei]

Almost as bad as being told to relax is being told that to understand. No, chances are you do not. If you haven't been trying as long as I have you don't. Things just get so much worse with time.

Oh and "If it happened for me, it WILL happen for you" is another I'm so tired of hearing. THAT'S NOT TRUE. I know you mean well, but that doesn't help.

 

[PyrusEK]

Almost as bad as being told to relax is being told that to understand. No, chances are you do not. If you haven't been trying as long as I have you don't. Things just get so much worse with time.

Oh and "If it happened for me, it WILL happen for you" is another I'm so tired of hearing. THAT'S NOT TRUE. I know you mean well, but that doesn't help.

Yep- and the whole "if it happened for [insert random person they know or have heard about] then it will happen for you too" thing. I get that people will repeat anything they've heard to try to make others feel better, and I appreciate the intention, but it doesn't work.

I am an expert in human reproduction, including all the ways I could become a parent either biologically or not. I've tried all the "remedies" and "tricks" to get pregnant and they haven't worked. I roll my eyes every time I hear someone say, "but have you tried [insert something I've tried or researched extensively] because I've heard it works!" I've been at this for over two years. Of course I have. And here I am, childless.

I recently went on vacation for a long weekend at the beach with six other childless/child-free women in our late 20s/early 30s. It was incredibly liberating to spend time in an environment where nobody was expecting me to be or become a mother. Sometimes I forget how to just be whole as a woman, as a person. This reminded me.

We are all so much more than infertility.

 

[Baby_Doc]

Thank you for this thread! I REALLY need a rant today...

Almost 2 years of TTC. Since then 12 friends have had babies...Another 5 pregnant... My sisters and step brother have 8 between them...I work as a frickin paediatric doctor in the Neonatal unit...Spend ALL day talking about newborns, pregnancy, breastfeeding, emotions... Just started AF today

Some of my favourite comments of late...

Just relax, it'll happen
I have a feeling this is going to be your year (well meant, but really?! Thanks Mystic Meg)
Of course you'll have a baby (again - may I see your crystal ball?)
I can't believe it happened so quickly (a newly pregnant friend)
and my personal favourite... (during a visit to my friend who was 2 days in to her labour)

This is awful. Trust me, you don't want this. Just adopt.


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