Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[wantbabynow]

Thanks Piggiefarmer, we have done exactly the same. Like you were saying at first we didn't make any travel plans involving long plane journeys "just in case" I've just got back from a week in the Caribbean, and planning the next tip some where nice for the bank holiday week end (UK public holiday) as like you said I need something to look forward to. My trip was supposed to help me relax and conceive whilst on holiday, I am currently on cycle day 31 (cycles usually 25-31 after my miscarriage last year) so expecting my period tomorrow, I've already tested on Monday at the office as the girls were saying put yourself out of your misery and it was negative (what a surprise) I cried and cried. Promise next month I will be stronger not to test early. Thank you so much for your response xxx

 

[wantbabynow]

Thanks Madtowngirl, I never thought about trying to plan anything special around a time when I know I'm not ovulating, good idea. It takes the pressure off my husband if its just time for us and our relationship. I've just looked at you Journal, last year was horrible for me also - had a mc in July 2013 (a week after I got married the day after my birthday) and had an ERPC at about 12 weeks, the whole year was devastating. I hope we all get pregnant very soon, we want it so bad - maybe that's the problem!!!!! Thanks so much for the advise xxx

 

[venapols]

why do advertisers have to be so insensitive, minding my own business when one of the auto run adverts starts telling me how wonderful it is to be pregnant and all the wonderful opportunities for new mothers, I couldn't even find which window the ad was running in to shut it... hate internet adverts

 

[PyrusEK]

Hello Ladies, this is the first time I'm posting on this thread. I'm going into my second year of trying for baby 1. I've been reading some of the comments which made me laugh (that never happens on any other thread), the girls at work are very supportive but always say the same thing "it will happen, stop worrying" they just don't understand. Does anyone have any good techniques to deal with the anxiety - I wake up in the middle of the night or I the supermarket on in my car with this sinking feeing that I am fooling myself by being happy with no children. I am really struggling with t anxiety every month. At first I used to fight with my husband over not marrying me sooner when I was younger and how he robbed me of my child baring years!!! But I wasn't ready then either (I'm 32, he's 33 been together for 8 years just got married last year,) and soon realised that was making the problem even worse. Now the anxiety is manifesting itself as pure lonely sad depression, sitting on the stair crying into my hands and wailing when no one is listening -please girls give me some coping mechanisms; don't know how much more pain I can take.

I agree with PiggieFarmer, the best coping mechanism I've found is to keep busy, and not plan my life around the possibility of pregnancy. It's always going to be in the back of your mind, but you shouldn't let it put your life on hold. All that will give you is regret.

Also, try and set aside some time to do something special with your DH. Don't make it ttc-centric. It's important to keep working on your marriage, because lttc can put a tremendous strain on your relationship.

Good luck, and use this forum as a place to let out your frustrations. It is an amazing place for support.

I agree with these ladies that keeping busy helps. Something I have done in particular is pick up hobbies that keep me very physically active. I see a personal trainer once or twice a week and have started doing Pole Fitness at a studio with some of the ladies in my life. These things have really helped me to see my own body in a different light, to truly appreciate it and what it can do, and to stop hating it for not letting me get pregnant. Training for various events (Tough Mudder and similar obstacle course runs) has also given me something to look forward to and be proud of. Those are all things I used to think I couldn't do. I'm proving myself (and many other people) very wrong.

My husband and I do a lot of projects together as well. We've been renovating the house, and seeing the finished projects after weeks/months/years of working at it has been so fulfilling.

The idea is this- you are more than a wife or a [prospective] parent. You have countless capabilities and talents that are just waiting to be developed. Make a list of things you're interested in, then start exploring them. Who knows- you might dazzle yourself with what you can do and how full your life becomes.

In the meantime-

We all totally get how you're feeling.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hello Ladies, this is the first time I'm posting on this thread. I'm going into my second year of trying for baby 1. I've been reading some of the comments which made me laugh (that never happens on any other thread), the girls at work are very supportive but always say the same thing "it will happen, stop worrying" they just don't understand. Does anyone have any good techniques to deal with the anxiety - I wake up in the middle of the night or I the supermarket on in my car with this sinking feeing that I am fooling myself by being happy with no children. I am really struggling with t anxiety every month. At first I used to fight with my husband over not marrying me sooner when I was younger and how he robbed me of my child baring years!!! But I wasn't ready then either (I'm 32, he's 33 been together for 8 years just got married last year,) and soon realised that was making the problem even worse. Now the anxiety is manifesting itself as pure lonely sad depression, sitting on the stair crying into my hands and wailing when no one is listening -please girls give me some coping mechanisms; don't know how much more pain I can take.

I keep myself busy. Generally, cake baking. I find it really theraputic.

I'm also learning to drive .....finally

 

[TiaK]

New to the forum. Wanted to find someone to vent to who isn't going to have their feelings hurt by it. Friends and family mean well, but it's hard not to tell them to shut up on occasion.

My husband is still gung ho and still enthusiastic. Makes it hard to tell him it's starting to kill me every time I see that single solitary line. I'm not quite ready to give up because while I am six years into this, I have only had health insurance for a year of that. I'm on medication for my PCOS now, and there are other fertility options that are there for me now that weren't before. But I'm high risk if I do get pregnant, which means I am only willing to risk it for another two years before I give up for good. But even the thought of that two years is painful. It wears on you to see that bfn over and over and over again.

And the people who love to say "Stop trying, it'll happen!". Shut up, just shut the bleep up.

How do you know when it's time to give up? I still want a baby so badly it hurts, but at what point do you hang in the towel and say it's not going to happen and it's time to stop the monthly torture? We've been trying long enough now that my step-daughter has gone from a respectable gap in age to almost being old enough to babysit. Will be old enough to babysit by the time I'm ready to let any baby out of my care.

Why am I surrounded by people who don't want kids, don't want MORE kids, or for some reason or another are unfit parents (drug addicts, severely mentally ill, etc) who keep getting pregnant? Oh, you're on birth control, had him use a condom, and are breast feeding and ended up pregnant with baby #4 in 4 years? Share the damn baby dust!

On a positive note, I've been regular as clockwork for three months. This month I only had some light spotting on the day I was due for my period. I'm scared to hope.

I'm not usually whiny. But it feels good to get all my whiny bits out all at once.

Thanks for giving me a spot to yell at people who aren't here.

 

[TiaK]

Both my sister's-in-laws have decided over the course of the last couple of months to ttc. I'm deathly afraid of how hard it's going to be to not to resent them. One of them has been trying for three whole months. She's started complaining about how long this is taking. I wanted to throttle her! I don't want to be bitter or sour or grumpy with my loved ones. They deserve children, they either already are or will be wonderful mothers.

On the other hand, if we all three end up pregnant at the same time, I could really get behind that idea!

 

[Hope3]

Rant away!

How have you kept it together for 6 years? I feel as if TTC is driving me insane!

 

[TiaK]

How long have you been trying?

 

[TiaK]

Oops, nevermind. I see the signature now. Fingers crossed the baby dust is building up for you.

 

[madtowngirl]

Being told to "stop trying, it'll happen" is the worst. F$%@ you. If we stop trying, it means NO BABY.

My favorite is being told that I somehow caused my miscarriage. Thanks MIL. Thanks.

 

[sammyttc]

madtowngirl: SO sorry to hear your MIL was so insensitive (not to mention uneducated) about your loss!!! That is very hard to take!

 

[MMMMinnie]

Today is my day three and I went to the appt at USF so that I can start yet another cycle of injections. I had my blood drawn and did an ultrasound. Everything turned out find and I received the call with the go-ahead for the injections only they want to keep me on the same dose, 75. My follicles were more developed when I was on clomid and I just don't understand why they would keep me on the same dose of Gonal-f even after I didn't conceive on the previous cycle. This is so frustrating. I need to stay calm but every time I go to my appts I get disappointed. I started writing a journal last year Sept which is when I started incorporating fertility treatments other than clomid. I have been at this a total of ten years. The first three years we tried naturally, then we started getting tested, getting EVERYTHING tested, with results stating that nothing is wrong. I then started charting my period, to include its texture, days that I was ovulating, days that I was sick, days that we had intercourse, and my base temp every morning (five yrs). All that did was irritate me because I still didn't get pregnant and I just dont understand why especially if nothing is wrong with either of us. In 2011 I had us get tested again, EVERYTHING still nothing is apparently wrong and this is when I starting taking clomid. Clomid made ovulation the most painful time of month and having intercourse was hard. I had to force myself to because I had a goal. I did clomid by itself until Sept2013 which is when we started doing clomid with IUI. IUI... not something that I wish on my worst enemy. I have not really ever expressed my emotions During the procedure I act like they are not painful and just deal but those do not feel good whatsoever. I have not to anyone other then my husband and even then I censor most of them. One cycle the doctor pulled my uterus forward with some kind of forceps- I bled for a week and had faint spells for about three days (no luck getting prego that cycle for sure). Last cycle I was very hopeful but again I failed as a woman. Each time that I am not able to get pregnant I feel more and more of a failure in life. I have dreamt about having my own child since the birth of my baby sister 24 years ago (who by the way has two child of her own). I am the only one in my and my husbands entire family without children. Which wouldnt be an issue but every month I find out someone in pregnant again and every time we are around family they ask "so when are you two going to start having kids?" As if its our choice not to. I have completely withdrawn myself from pretty much everyone I know just so that I wont be in the situation of them quizzing me on where my children are. I feel like I am slowly burying myself from the world. All I want to do lately is hide in my house and not talk to anyone. I need some motivation or inspiration. I cant talk to anyone I know because they have no understanding whatsoever of what I am going through nor do I feel like hearing "oh your time will come" from people who didnt have to struggle in order to create their children. Honestly I even have a hard time talking to people who tell me it took them a year. Well Im at ten years so their one year sure as hell doesnt make me feel better at my situation at all. As a matter a fact it makes me feel even more hopeless about me chances.

No one has to respond to this. Im just have no one and needed to just let things out. I dont want to hold anything back especially since I am starting my injections in a few hours and I want to be at ease as much as possible. I just truly want this to happen already. I send everyone who is trying baby dust and everyone who already conceived or gave birth good luck and I hope that someday I can join your group of motherhood.

 

[Hope3]

to you Minnie.

 

[Andilenertz17]

My husband and I are diagnosed with unexplained fertility and have been trying for over 3 years. I am 32 and he is 29, no issues, perfectly healthy. After so much frustration and disappointment, failed IUI's (4), we are banging our heads against the wall wondering what we're doing wrong.

But then, after much research on the subject, I think I've finally figured something out. I decided to go a more holiest approach and found article after article on candida overgrowth. Low and behold, I had a list of these issues (listed at bottom of article) and KNEW in my heart they had to be related and the reason why we weren't getting pregnant! Please read this and see if it woulda like you too. Millions of people have this and don't even know it!! I've changed my diet as of two months ago and see a huge difference already. Although we aren't pregnant yet, I know it will happen soon because of the changes we are making. Hope this helps all u couples out there in the same boat.

Ok, so I'm new to the forum and apparently can't post links?? That needs to be changed. Just google candida and infertility!!

Hoorah! I've been busting to rant for weeks

After finally getting the thumbs up from the hospital to be referred to the Fertility Clinic for IVF on the NHS... nothing happened.

Rang the hospital who said the clinic would be in touch with an appointment.

Waited a bit longer and rang the clinic who said thay hadnt recieved a referral from the docs.

Rang the docs who said they didnt know they were supposed to do anything.

After a very long and convulted email converstation with the clinic, 5 weeks from initial go-ahead, finally got told to ring on 1st day of next AF, which as I had just finished AF means 19th October.

AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Calming down now as the paperwork, with about a 1000 questions has arrived and things are starting to happen. Why is everything so complicated. I just want a bloomin baby.

Rant over.
Many thanks

 

[Andilenertz17]

People say the most insensitive things without even realizing it. Unless you've gone through it, u don't know how incredibly heartbreaking it is for people. I've resorted to only telling close friends and family, and even my mom has a hard time understanding why I'm private about it...still do not understand that to this day.

Please please research candida overgrowth and infertility. It opened my eyes to the reasons why I had mono every year for the last five years, developed Hashimoto's thyroiditis and a host of other problems. It's all abou what we put in our bodies and mine was sadly out of balance. We aren't pregnant yet, but I believe in my heart this is the answer. Went through all sorts of treatments and it failed everytime. I believe that it never has worked and never will because my body wasn't right. Hope this helps, if I knew back then what I know now, it might have saved me 10 years of wondering.

 

[wantbabynow]

I love that - my inlaws are soooo great too. My husband has 7 sisters and I live with my MIL, one SIL said to me "some women aren't natural producers" or "when you were pregnant you should have quit your job, then you wouldn't have had a miscarriage" oh and my favourite "we were so looking forward to the baby" oh well F**king sorry for ruining your plans with my ill timed miscarriage you MOFO's

 

[Nysz]

Nursing a full-blown flu right now. Got a call from the doc that my blood tests is negative for pregnancy. A big fat effing negative.

Even tho I was prepared for it, the news still hit me hard.

Coming to 5 years of actively trying. I was sure this cycle felt different. Had an early period of just spotting for 4 days. Cramping, feel like gagging all the time, breasts are sore. But still it didn't stick.

Clomid 150mg. Had 3 follicles during follicle tracking on CD12. pregnyl trigger shot.

Maybe I'm just not meant to get pregnant.

 

[EmmyReece]

Sat taking my supplements this morning and it's spread all over facebook about the girl from down the road having her 20 week scan today. Had to go upstairs and blub my eyes out

 

[DBZ34]

I love that - my inlaws are soooo great too. My husband has 7 sisters and I live with my MIL, one SIL said to me "some women aren't natural producers" or "when you were pregnant you should have quit your job, then you wouldn't have had a miscarriage" oh and my favourite "we were so looking forward to the baby" oh well F**king sorry for ruining your plans with my ill timed miscarriage you MOFO's

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! I'm so angry for you!

What the hell? I would have smacked my SIL if she said anything so insensitive to me...Well, I'd like to think I would, but I'd probably be so flabbergasted and utterly gobsmacked that someone would have the nerve to say any of that to me, I'd probably have sat there speechless. (And then, later, would have thought about all the things I wanted to say in response) Ugh.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm definitely sorry you have to deal with those MOFOs.