Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[PiggieFarmer]

I don't understand why the hell people who can't afford their babies, or don't want to be good parents to their babies have them and we struggle.

Because life is not fair. There is often a correlation between being kind or working hard, and having good things come of that. And sometimes... there just isn't any correlation. Everyone in this thread of 1,300+ messages has experienced that to some extent, and this particular injustice of LTTTC, which saddens me greatly. But we keep going anyway, hoping that some measure of fairness will come our way.

 

[Babybluez]

Hey all! I've been trying to conceive for over two years now for baby no #2 dont know why it hasn't happend! Really stressful and depressing now. Have a girl already and shes turning 4 soon!

First the doctor told me im stressing too much... Switched doctors after a year and a half and the other doc ran tests to determine ovulation which seemed to be fine so i was given clomid for three months and that didnt help either! Finally was given an IVF-c injection again didnt help. I guess now they'll recommend getting my tubes checked. Anyone else in the same boat as me? Dont know what could be wrong since I've had a kid before without any issue and now this whole thing is really stressing me ....

Need some happy stories! Haha

 

[PiggieFarmer]

Need some happy stories! Haha

This is the vent thread... you may have come to the wrong place. Wishing you luck.

Speaking of venting... I walked into Hallmark to get some Christmas ornaments for friends, and saw this one:

https://shop.hallmark.com/christmas/christmas-ornaments/mommy-to-be-1295QGO1533.html
"Anticipating new motherhood takes on special significance at several times of year, including Christmas. Help the mother-to-be celebrate the excitement of her upcoming life change during this season of expectation."

Shoot me now. Yes, I can't even shop for ornaments anymore!

 

[Buttercup77]

Hi all, may I join?

I just got a bfn after another clomid, ovidrel + iui cycle and as much as I say I won't cry, I do. I'm feeling like a loser and really sad. I just don't understand why this is happening and I see some people who don't want kids, abuse them or simply don't deserve them get pregnant with no problems, ughh.

I'm 36 and husband 45 and even though his SA was normal and my egg reserve and other test looks ok I still feel like our time is running out. I want to take a break but my husband seems to think I'm allowing frustration and fear overwhelm me. On Monday I have a mini consult with RE to discuss the next steps. Since my mc's I gained weight due to depression. Now my RE wants me to lose a little more weight and I don't get it when I see other women who are heavier than me doing ivf.

I am sorry to come on here and vent but I feel like I'm going out of my mind especially with the holidays and my 37th birthday coming next month.

 

[tommyg]

Hey all! I've been trying to conceive for over two years now for baby no #2 dont know why it hasn't happend! Really stressful and depressing now. Have a girl already and shes turning 4 soon!

First the doctor told me im stressing too much... Switched doctors after a year and a half and the other doc ran tests to determine ovulation which seemed to be fine so i was given clomid for three months and that didnt help either! Finally was given an IVF-c injection again didnt help. I guess now they'll recommend getting my tubes checked. Anyone else in the same boat as me? Dont know what could be wrong since I've had a kid before without any issue and now this whole thing is really stressing me ....

Need some happy stories! Haha

Don't worry if you qualify on age LOL but head over to the 2nd infertility forums and look for the "35 and trying for 19mths thread"

 

[ttcmoon]

A girl in office told me, "join community work on saturdays you dont have a baby to take care any way. I can not join because of my toddler"

I am not against community work. I actually love it. But what baby has to do here? Not having baby means no family no household work or what?

 

[deafgal01]

Uh- that was dumb of the girl to say. Having a baby/toddler has nothing to do with community work! You can always bring them along and carry them, or have the spouse watch them while you do that.

 

[laurac1988]

Eurgh. Everyone is pregnant

 

[deafgal01]

Laura I know the feeling.

 

[Arohanui]

I just joined this website after seeing others vent about longterm ttc. I just made a doctor's appointment with a new gyno to find out why we have been ttc for two and a half years with no luck. I have two baby showers to attend in the next couple of weeks and I know everyone will be asking when I'm going to have a baby. I will smile and say "whenever God decides we're ready" but inside I will be screaming "I don't know when! Or even if I can!" I'm 32 years old & I stopped taking antidepressants 3 years ago because I wanted to start trying for a baby. Here I am, 3 years later with no baby and feeling more depressed about it every month. I get so angry when I hear on the news about people killing or abusing their children and I wonder why God allowed them to have kids when so many of us are trying so desperately to become mothers that would love and protect our kids with every ounce of our being. I'm sick of friends telling me to stop worrying about it. I ask them what the most important thing going on in their lives right now is and when they answer "school" or "my new job" I tell them "Oh, well stop worrying those things and see how that goes!". A friend with a drinking problem has given up custody of her son and swears she is trying her best to get him back. She ended up in the hospital last night from alcohol poisoning. Most of the time, I am a positive person. I believe in getting back what you give in life and try my best to exude love and peacefulness. But right now I am sad and angry and needed to vent to someone other than my well-meaning but unhelpful friends and family.

Liz217, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been TTC for nearly 3 years (3years in Jan). In that time my sister-in-law has conceived 3 times! (1 early MC at 6weeks, a beautiful 11 month old girl, and now a baby due in July). It's not that I'm not happy for her, but my last 3 years have been full of shopping for baby things when ever I'm with her, hearing her moan about morning sickness and other 'terrible' things about being pregnant, helping her with groceries and housework when she's too ill/big/tired and of course, baby showers and special occasions centred on her and her babies. All my close friends have started their families without any problems. Everyone asks when we're going to start (my mother-in-law was the worst. Before her daughter got pregnant she put so much pressure on my DH and me because we were the first to get married and she wanted to be a grandmother so we were being selfish for not having a baby!) - we used to smile and say 'it'll happen when it happens' whilst holding back tears - now we just tell people straight up, 'we've been trying for nearly three years, we don't know if it'll ever happen'. It makes people really uncomfortable, but I don't really care how other people feel now, I've reached my limit. It's hard enough LTTTC and being at baby/ kids events without constantly being asked THAT question.

 

[deafgal01]

I hear ya. Just found out a day or two ago on facebook one friend is expecting again. She's having her 8th baby- a girl. She already has 4 boys and 3 girls- she claims this one is her last. Well she said that like 2 babies ago so I don't really buy into that anymore.

 

[venapols]

some one just announced they're 8 weeks pregnant, be interested to see if they stop drinking, partying, getting tattooed and smoking (I have nothing against that in general just not while pregnant - and they never do)

non of the people I know including 2 'infertile' ones bother quitting (even after one called me to sit in the hospital with her because she might of been having a miscarriage... she got sent away and told there was nothing the hospital could do so she went out smoking, drinking and popping pills) makes me so mad - I even quit drinking piped water (containing chlorine) while pregnant because of the links to heart malformations and they can even be bothered to quit drinking and smoking, they always say 'my mam did it and im fine'

 

[Lazydaisys]

Cant believe it's another christmas without a bfp. (4th)

I like to pack my christmas baubles way each year and think and hope that my life will be different in a years time with a bfp or a baby. 2014 has been a shitter! 4 fails iuis. 1 failed ivf 1 failed fet. I'm gad I didnt realise how crap this was going to be or I wouldn't have bothered!!!!!! I thought I was going to get the help that I needed and everything was going to be ok.

Sorry- end of rant, feeling loads better and still full of hope for next year. Lol that's the thing about ttc, you can't give up it won't let ya!

 

[deafgal01]

Lazy- get it all out. I understand!

 

[venapols]

I have an odd one and not sure its a rant as I sort of understand but its getting to me now and its not like this on this LTTTC forum but on others it seems quite common

basically Ive been searching IVF success stories to try and get a feel for my chances and have come across many women who have had infertility and IVF then got pregnant (obviously as thats what I was searching for) but surprisingly most of them have many children

Ive come across 3 announcing they will be welcoming a 4th IVF baby making it '4 under 4' and it kind of hurts, I know they have been through the infertility thing aswell but I desperately didn't want a big age gap but then see dozens of other infertile women who all seem to have small age gaps than me and im still waiting to give my son just one of the siblings he so desperately wants (he is the only child in out very catholic area that doesn't have siblings - most have many, many siblings)

maybe im just bitter because its took so long to get to the IVF stage due to being young (and I had to go through all the infertility test again) and so many people seem to get to skip right to it repeatedly without having to jump though all the hoops

plus the 'your young, time is on your side' - it would be if I didn't have DS but every day he gets older and I dont want to be one of the parents whose oldest is mistaken for the youngest's dad

 

[deafgal01]

Ven that is hard. I hope you're able to give your son a sibling before it's too long of a gap.

 

[PiggieFarmer]

Well, time to update the signature to say "40." Blah.

 

[michellw]

Hi I've just signed up on here. I've been ttc for 4 and a half years and get angrier every day with more and more friends announcing pregnancy. Since ttc my sister has had a baby and pregnant with 2nd due in Jan,my brother has had 2 baby's,my other brother has had 2 aswell as about 20 pregnancies of friends. .. feel like fertility clinic r a joke. Started iui and in Aug and 1st cycle abandoned due to too many eggs,2nd month couldn't go ahead as I had a large follicle left from Aug,3rd cycle had old egg in left side an now waiting for period next week but I know when I go back to clinic there will be another reason to not start cycle.. sorry rant over lol

Part edited by Admin as per forum rules!

 

[Buttercup77]

Hello all,

I'm in the same boat LTTC and will be 37 the end of this month. I really thought it was our year so I hope and pray we get a bfp or I can lose a bit more weight for ivf. Why does everything have to be so hard?!?!?!

 

[Ready4it]

SO BEYOND FRUSTRATED!!! I had a lap in September and am in the midst of my 3rd month trying after my lap, 21 cycles total.

What in the world did I do to deserve this?! I am so beyond bummed, frustrated and just flat out losing hope. I just don't even know what to do anymore and I am wondering if this is in the cards for me.