Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[lady124]

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I found out that my cousin is pregnant. She and I grew up being really close, and even though it hurts my heart that I can't be pregnant too, I am super happy for her and her husband. I know they'll make great parents.

I could have handled that, no problem. But then I went to hang out with one of my oldest and best guy friends who said his wife was unable to join us because she was too hung over from drinking 4 1/2 bottles of wine on Thanksgiving day. In her drunkenness, she apparently told him she thought she was pregnant.

I let that one go assuming she was being dramatic and wasn't actually pregnant, but then I get a phone call two days later saying, well actually she really is knocked up and they're SO HAPPY they're going to have a baby.

I want to be happy for him, I really do. I'm just having a hard time because I hate his wife so much right now for drinking wine as if it's soda when she already suspected she was pregnant. In addition, she has a ton of health problems that she is doing nothing to help, while here I am, lifting weights and running races and eating all the right things and after more than 2 1/2 years I still can't even get ONE BFP.

I think I've given up on the dream. I no longer see kids in my future. I'm trying to paint a new picture that I can find gratifying, pursue and achieve some new goals, but around the holidays I just want to crawl into bed and cry at the injustice of having so much love to give and no kids to give it to while people who should be sterilized are out having five and six.

I do really feel for you. After nearly 3years, I also feel like kids are not on the picture for us, but cant help but feel sad and wanting to crawl into my bed and cry over the Christmas holiday....

 

[PiggieFarmer]

Had my HSG about 10 days ago on day 9 of my cycle. Hadn't quite finished bleeding at that point which was unusual for me. They went ahead with the test which wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
Problem is - I haven't stopped bleeding since! I've spoken to the fertility clinic and my GP who said not to worry it's 'probably fine'. So that's what I'm trying to do.

You can expect a *few* days of bleeding after an HSG (it can get bit rough in there), but 10 days seems like a lot for it to be due to that. I guess it depends whether it appears to be fresh blood (bright) or old blood (dark). Worth following up on again, I think.

 

[PiggieFarmer]

I guess I will be the first to bring this one up here...

So a Cuban spy serving two life sentences in California can be a father, but my husband can't?

 

[venapols]

another pregnancy announcement

 

[Arohanui]

Well, we didn't manage to make it through Christmas Day without ANOTHER announcement. That's 4 in the last couple of weeks. Two sisters-in-law, one of my best friends, and now DH's best mate.

I hate hearing this news... especially on Christmas Day. Yes - you think this is wonderful and special news for a special day, but it intrudes on MY and DH's special day which is already hard enough to celebrate knowing we've gone yet another year without conceiving and YOUR news makes it even more shit. Couldn't you keep it to yourself for another few days? It's not like we even saw you - you emailed us a scan!

 

[dojenstein]

I hope I've come to the right place. I've been all over this forum but I just want to punch the wall I'm so frustrated. I feel like everyone is sick of me talking about how much I want a baby. I'm so deranged I even told the pregnant cashier at the coffee shop that we we're also "trying". Granted I see her everyday and we chat, but seriously, the coffee shop lady? For christ sake. I'm just so freaking desperate to talk.

My fiance is the most sick of it. So I don't talk about it, I just kind of mope around the house. He says I'm in a funk and need to "snap out of it". Everytime he says that I'd like to snap him.

I just feel so freaking helpless. I go for my HSG next Friday and frankly I am counting down the hours. At least I feel like that's progress. We've been doing the same thing month after month with no success which I'm told is the definition of insanity. And yes, I feel insane sometimes.

I wish this feeling was a switch I could turn on and off. I wish I could not see every pregnant woman as a dig at me. Ughghghgh.

Sorry for my babbling rant. I just really really needed to get that out.

 

[dojenstein]

So I feel like a thread killer. Was my rant too over the top?

 

[wannabemummyb]

So I feel like a thread killer. Was my rant too over the top?

Not at all. The thread can be buzzing one day and then deadly quiet for days!

Over the last few days (since Christmas eve) there has been 2 birth announcements, 1 pregnancy announcement, promptly followed by requests on how to help with morning sickness, lots of fab pics of baby bumps.

Think I am going to crawl under a rock and hide from the world.

Oh and we have now been trying for 5 years and 4 days

 

[dojenstein]

So I feel like a thread killer. Was my rant too over the top?

Not at all. The thread can be buzzing one day and then deadly quiet for days!

Over the last few days (since Christmas eve) there has been 2 birth announcements, 1 pregnancy announcement, promptly followed by requests on how to help with morning sickness, lots of fab pics of baby bumps.

Think I am going to crawl under a rock and hide from the world.

Oh and we have now been trying for 5 years and 4 days

Thanks Wannabe. I thought it was me. I can't stand the pregnancy announcements either. I love Facebook but I can't stand seeing all the baby pics. It just breaks my heart. When I got AF last cycle (I had a really weird HPT that looked positive) I was absolutely gutted. I moped around the house, at work, everywhere. Finally my fiance was like you have to snap out of this. But I just crawled in bed and let myself feel the way I felt. Eventually, with a little motivation from him and myself I was able to get out of bed and pick my chin up. It helps for me to have things to look forward to. So I'm trying.

I got the day off work for my HSG on Friday. I am literally counting down the hours til I get it. I know some women dread it but I hope it clears out the tubes and gets sperm and egg to finally meet up. It just feels like progress in some way.

Thanks for listening!

 

[nobump]

Feeling sad. Cried on way to my brothers for xmas. They are celebrating there babies first xmas her first his forth child.... we've had two failed rounds of IVF this year. Want a difference a year makes. This time last year we were preparing for IVF... oh and got AF on Xmas so was doped up on cocodomol, transanemic acid and red wine.... six years TTC out for dinner tonight pregnant lady one side of us...new born on the other.. no escape...

 

[dojenstein]

Sorry you're being put to the test Nobump. I've been TTC for almost 2 years and I get sad at every Facebook announcement. I'm so sorry IVF didn't work for you. Are you done trying that? I really hope you can find your silver lining and find some happiness. In the meantime we're here for you to vent and be sad.

 

[wannabemummyb]

After AF being awol for four months, she shows up New Years day! Hoping it's not a sign of how the year will turn out *sigh*

 

[nobump]

Sorry you're being put to the test Nobump. I've been TTC for almost 2 years and I get sad at every Facebook announcement. I'm so sorry IVF didn't work for you. Are you done trying that? I really hope you can find your silver lining and find some happiness. In the meantime we're here for you to vent and be sad.

Don't think I will do ivf again. Think I need to switch efforts to get body back into shape have put on so much weight while on treatment it is exhausting.

Good luck hope you get your BFP soon x

 

[Penguin20]

I'm hoping it's ok for me to join I'm new to BnB but I having such a down day as I have been trying for 13 months now and no luck, thought this could be the month but don't think it is as feel no different and my af is due within the next 7 days.

I feel selfish saying this but had enough of going on Facebook and seeing someone else announcing there pregnant I mean why can't it be announcing that I'm pregnant

Doctors not helpful as they say I'm young they want me to be trying for 2 years before they do any tests

I always had this feeling that I would never get pregnant and tbh it starting to feel like that becoming the case

Sorry if I disturbed the group just needed to rant as have no one to talk to

 

[DBZ34]

I'm hoping it's ok for me to join I'm new to BnB but I having such a down day as I have been trying for 13 months now and no luck, thought this could be the month but don't think it is as feel no different and my af is due within the next 7 days.

I feel selfish saying this but had enough of going on Facebook and seeing someone else announcing there pregnant I mean why can't it be announcing that I'm pregnant

Doctors not helpful as they say I'm young they want me to be trying for 2 years before they do any tests

I always had this feeling that I would never get pregnant and tbh it starting to feel like that becoming the case

Sorry if I disturbed the group just needed to rant as have no one to talk to

Not disturbing at all! This is the vent thread, so let it all out! Rant away!

We're here to listen...and to vent.

I know what you mean, I go through periods where I'm convinced that we're never going to have success. But, I always say that if I stop, I really will never get pregnant, so I have no choice but to keep on going. And don't even get me started on fb announcements. Ugh.

 

[PiggieFarmer]

Doctors not helpful as they say I'm young they want me to be trying for 2 years before they do any tests

One year is enough to warrant tests. Sperm analysis, hormones, HSG, AMH / FSH, etc. There are a bunch of simple (non-invasive) things you can do now.

 

[DBZ34]

Doctors not helpful as they say I'm young they want me to be trying for 2 years before they do any tests

One year is enough to warrant tests. Sperm analysis, hormones, HSG, AMH / FSH, etc. There are a bunch of simple (non-invasive) things you can do now.

In the US, maybe...but in certain areas of the UK, they won't do anything until you hit 2 years, unless you go private and pay for everything yourself.

I should know, I had to deal with the same thing. It was sooo frustrating. I went in at a year and the GP was completely uninterested in referring me or starting the testing needed for the referral. I had to wait for 24 cycles (which was slightly shorter than 2 full years) to even start the process.

 

[deafgal01]

2 years? Are they nuts? That's insane!!!!!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Doctors not helpful as they say I'm young they want me to be trying for 2 years before they do any tests

One year is enough to warrant tests. Sperm analysis, hormones, HSG, AMH / FSH, etc. There are a bunch of simple (non-invasive) things you can do now.

In the US, maybe...but in certain areas of the UK, they won't do anything until you hit 2 years, unless you go private and pay for everything yourself.

I should know, I had to deal with the same thing. It was sooo frustrating. I went in at a year and the GP was completely uninterested in referring me or starting the testing needed for the referral. I had to wait for 24 cycles (which was slightly shorter than 2 full years) to even start the process.

Yep I agree.....2 years before they will do tests, which is rather frustrating. Even then it depends on your GP and primary healthcare trust exactly what tests you get!

Penguin20 welcome to the thread but sorry you have the need to vent

 

[venapols]

im young and they did tests at 1 year but other than HSG, ultrasounds and blood work they wont do anything, I have to go privet for any kind of treatment

(I had a lap too but that was based on another condition not the fertility issue, I had reoccuring peritonitis and they needed to check I didnt have burst cysts and try and find the source of the infections)