Lookin for NTNP buddy. Just need to CHAT!

[MrsCorny]

Ugh... I wanna test so bad... But I just don't want the stress of a BFN or not be able to fully enjoy the BFP cuz of the funeral.... Why do I even want to test? My head is all mixed up.... I know I keep repeating myself, I'm sorry. You know when you talk things out, sometimes you can make sense of it...
Constantly thirsty and hungry past couple days... Symptom? No- prob just in my head.

 

[Laura2806]

Yep defo out here!!

Symptom........

 

[MrsCorny]

Yep defo out here!!

Symptom........

there is always next cycle! Let me know how doc appt goes if you can get appt. FXed you get nothing but good news, dear!

Can't bring myself to test with what I have going on now, but i still kinda want to. Just wouldnt feel right til after its "over". Plus if I get a BFP and then I'm with the whole family on Monday and Tuesday, someone will know or ask, and I hate to lie. stinkin morals haha and like I said about BFN, I just can't handle the stress of losing grandma, seeing a BFN and then getting my period a few days later just to rub salt in the wound...

 

[Laura2806]

Yh I understand Hun I hope the funeral goes well and I'm sure it will be a beautiful goodbye, I know how your feeling, I still get very emotional over my Grandma who we lost almost 2yrs ago. It never stops hurting we just find ways of coping xxx

 

[MrsCorny]

Hubby is back to being car obsessed.... If its a BFN this month, he won't even give it a shot til we are more financially ready, which could take forever. We would be fine now. He just wants to spend all our money on car crap. I'm fed up. I'm overwhelmed. I'm mad. I just can't. I hate being yo-yo'ed or him just saying what I wanna hear to shut me up, then changing his mind. It hurts, my heart is aching.
But I guess if this car thing is the only complaint I have, I don't have it too bad.... I just wanna be a mommy. *sigh*

 

[Laura2806]

I hope hubby makes his mind up for sure what he wants to do, it's not fair on you and they have no idea how we are feeling and the emotions we feel. Men can be so crap at times! Yes we love more than anything but sometimes, just sometimes they need shaking!!

I wish someone could sit him down and explain just how it's making you feel and that everything will be ok.

If we waited until being financially ready we would never have children. We started TTC Oscar after being together 12months, living Ian. Rented house that was tiny, not engaged let alone married with a mortgage, we had decided when to start TTC in the may as I only had one more pack of BC, had previously said the Christmas but decided to start earlier. Then 2wks later Simon got made redundant, out of nowhere the company went into administration and 2wks later he was out of work. Went from agency job to agency job, sweeping factory floors for weeks on end, getting depressed, still TTC, we got engaged and moved in with my parents, didn't let anything stop us. I started to get depressed due to my cycles, my SIL got pregnant, our world crashed, my grandma fell ill with a water infection and passed away a week later. Christmas was shit! Me battled through, I found this forum and the ladies I met made me go to the doctors, I ovulated and conceived. From the shitest of times comes the most amazing things. Being a mum is worth the wait hunni, I just hope your hubby decides the times is right to try for your miracle xxx

 

[MrsCorny]

Laura, I wish I could hug you right now. Thanks for sharing that with me. Cuz I'm scared now, what if I am pregnant... How will he take it? He always says if it happens, it happens. But he was just.... honestly... A jerk about it this morning. Idk. Now I'm not sure if I hope I am or not... Ugh...
I mean, I'm not worried he'd be mad or anything, but I just want him to be excited, which I guess wouldn't happen anyway cuz he doesn't get excited over anything, ever. why worry? It will be what it will be, right? And most important- God is STILL in control. Thank goodness!

 

[Laura2806]

You're welcome hunni, sending you virtual xx

MAybe he's scared? scared of how he feel, scared of sharing you, scared something bad will happen, scared he wont be a good father, scared it will affect your relation, maybe he's just scared and this is his way of protecting you both. It doesnt sound to me like it's a case of he doesnt want you to be pregnant but he doesnt know what will happen once you are. I think it's a very scary prospective for guys. My brother has told my SIL they cant have anymore cause he was scared he was gonna loose her during child birth. she had to go to theatre for forceps and they ahve told her it will certainly be a c-sec next time. He's scared he will loose his wife, maybe your husband is the same.

It will be what it will be sweetie, it hurts, man it really hurts, TTC is the hardest thing you will ever do, it was the worst 9months of my life, followed by the most magical 37wks and even better times after that.Trust when i say it will happen for you, it doesnt help the pain go away, but know you have God on your side and he will give you what you need when you need it most.

Chin up hunni xxx

 

[MrsCorny]

I told him how I felt cuz he apologized for putting me in a crappy mood at a time like this and so I explained my feelings, but felt like we got nowhere, like he just didn't understand. Well I guess he thought about what I said... About an hour later he starts asking me about the names we discussed just that morning before he tweaked out on me... And i was like why are you even asking me about this right now feeling like i was gonna cry thinking about it. And he said cuz when he uses his head to think about having kinds instead of his heart, he's scared. But when he uses his heart, he doesn't wanna prevent it anymore, he wants God to be in control cuz He always provides. So now... We are officially NTNP. What a whirlwind........ but we made it... We finally made it to where I desperately wanted to be. Wow... God really answers prayers, and quickly sometimes!
Laura, Thank you for your encouragement, what you said in your last post was exactly right. Thanks again for sharing experiences with me, it let's me know I'm not alone.

 

[Laura2806]

That's brill news hunni I think we don't understand guys as much as they don't understand us sometimes so glad you got there and know how he's feeling now, it'll help you both deal with it

You're more than welcome, your far from alone. We go into TTTC thinking it will happen the first month we try, it very rarely does!

So tired today! Made a carrot and corriander soup after food shopping, now Trying to get Oscar down for nap number three as he's really grumpy and tired. Don't think he's very well ATM Simon's just going to give him some calprofen to see if that helps. I might grab a nap myself! Xx

 

[MrsCorny]

Oh, a nap sounds so nice right about now! I hope you enjoy! Lol and I hope Oscar feels better soon! to little guy! Xoxoxo
I never thought it would happen right away, always had this fear of it taking forever cuz for a long time I said I wouldn't have kids... So I just figured it would be a struggle in some weird way. And that's why I wanted to move into NTNP while we are still early-mid twenties, so when he said yes, then no, it tore me apart. I know it's gonna take a while, and I'm fine with that, but I want that "while" to start ASAP. Especially since we won't fully TTC, I really don't wanna chart and all that, tracking cycles is enough for me lol so that may end up making it take a little longer too. I'm just so relieved....

 

[Laura2806]

It's good you don't expect it happen quickly. I did and it ruined me lol

So pleased you get to NTNP xx

 

[MrsCorny]

Aww, really? That stinks, I'm never surprised when I get a BFN, always a little disappointed, but kind of expecting it. Idk why I even bother thinking about testing on Wednesday, I know I'm not pregnant. Lol but it gives me something to look forward to. Especially since he gave me a freebie during fertile days haha so there is a small chance! If its BFN, that's fine too. But u know I wouldn't mind a BFP, either. Especially now that we have gotten back on our feet financially this month! It's just been a rough rough rough summer. Just barely hanging in there.

 

[MrsCorny]

How are the other ladies doing?? Laura and I kind of took over there a little bit! Haha this two weeks has felt so much longer than it really is, so remind me again what testing dates, CDs, DPOs and such you are all on, so I can get back in track with my girls!!! Lol

 

[Laura2806]

Yep was awful Hun! Fxd for wed xx

 

[mel28nicole]

Hi ladies I'm sorry I haven't been around. I found out August 23rd that the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks I was suppose to be 14 along. I had a D&C the next morning. Once my body goes back to normal, I think we are going back to NTNP by pulling out again because I don't want on birth control and I don't want to go back to condoms. Wish I wasn't joining you ladies on these circumstances lol.

 

[Laura2806]

Mel! Oh hunni I'm so so sorry darlin, how you holding up? Sending you massive virtual nothing I say will help but I'm here, we all are for you! Don't be a stranger Hun, and when you get your BFP again, we will still be here xxx

 

[MrsCorny]

Mel! Oh hunni I'm so so sorry darlin, how you holding up? Sending you massive virtual nothing I say will help but I'm here, we all are for you! Don't be a stranger Hun, and when you get your BFP again, we will still be here xxx

Oh no.... I second what Laura said. Nothing anyone can say will heal that wound, dear. I am glad to see you back, but this update... Ohh... My heart breaks for you.
Sometimes the only thing that can comfort me is reading the book of Psalms, particularly Psalm 139. It just reminds me that even when no one else knows exactly what I am going thru, even if it were a similar situation, God knows, and He CARES. Try praying and just letting yourself feel the presence of God. Honestly, that is just my suggestion, you do whatever you need to do to heal, darlin. I am praying for you right now. Don't be a stranger, we are here to support you. God bless you.... Xoxoxo

 

[mel28nicole]

Thanks ladies I really do appreciate it. I feel like each day I'm getting better. It's been over a week since my D&C and I'm still having bleeding so it kind of sucks. We decided to continue to pull out and when January comes along, we will actually start trying. That will give us enough time to heal and I can concentrate on finishing school.

 

[Laura2806]

Sounds like a good plan hunni, give your mind and body a rest