LTTTC # 1 w/o Assisted teammates needed!!!!

[Titi]

Hey Titi, you're one day ahead of me. Sorry about the stupid ovacue - I'd be tempted to get my money back and replace that dishwasher!
How's your OH getting on? He's been a star, learning to eat vegetables and everything.
Abi x

I just noticed too how close our cycles are this month. Goody-FX'd it's both our months! That would be fab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no symptoms either but after all this time I think if you are ttc #1 its rubbish. At least if you've been pg before you may have similar symptoms you recognize from first one (or not!). But not knowing at ALL what it feels like to be pg-I have had every imaginable symptom I thought "was it" and it wasn't-and then I've heard of many women that get a bfp with "no symptoms" that I'm just giving up!

Thanks about DH-he really has been wonderful. We also were finally able to give the 'quality' thing a try without worrying we were going to miss eggy for lack of quantity. We also tried two things we actually haven't been able to get in in all this ttc-morning sex (my DH is NOT a morning person) for higher sperm quality and b/c that is actually when my libido is better, and "go straight to sleep for the night sex" (I am ocd about relaxing before bed and going to sleep in a nice cool, non-sweaty bed and DH goes to bed 2 hours after me, so we actually NEVER do this).

We really only BD twice I think during my fertile period (am). The pm one was actually not really quality sex as it was ovacue driven and I was TIRED and not thinking I was even fertile anymore. But the two AM ones were great so we'll see!!

 

[Isi Buttercup]

Triplets!!!! Even better

We will get our blessings Titi. God will surely bless us with our heart's desires!!!

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Titi - im going for Quality this month too - we have only done it twice since AF stopped - im on CD12 today I think. We got a morning session this the am which was good but I had to get up straight away for work and (sorry for the TMi) but it all dripped out of me - so unless there was a wee hanging on for dear life then that session was a waste !!! I dont Ov til CD16 anyway so its a long way off - Monday to be exact!!! so will try to avoid fri and sat and maybe get a good morning session in on Sun and an evening on on Mon and whatever on Tuesday....

This is me trying not to think about it - and thats all im thinking about - why do us ladies have to think so much.....

 

[Titi]

:hiya: reba! Glad you are going to stick with us! I think you should put your siggy back! : )

That is what cracks me up when people say "when you don't think about it it will happen" after ttc all this time like I am just going to "forget" in the heat of some super passionate sex I guess-well it hasn't happened yet...........

Do you use softcups? I still like to try and lie around as much as possible but use them in hope that they will keep all the 'runaways' in! : )

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Reba - I really wouldn't worry about the baby batter that drips out. It happens to every one and most of that sperm is the bad stuff - ones that won't make it to the egg no matter what. I truly believe that our bodies are built to get pg and carry children so we shouldn't try to fight nature too much, you know? Most women get pg without worrying about sitting on a pillow for half an hour, etc etc. But I am tempted by the softcups just for the sake of keeping my thighs from getting glued together

I should have started this message off with an apology, I get very direct and crude when AF shows. BnB has not made that habit any better I'm afraid!

Titi - I started welling up at your description of the mini stocking and perfectly timed hpt surprises. Then you put me over the top with your visions of triplets in your new Routon. You've got one super duper hubby there babe! We got an ad from our VW dealer today saying we should trade in our Jetta - and I do love those Routons - they look RAD. So glad you made the leap and got one. You'll fill it up in time

So I think I need to find a cave when AF shows. The two of us can camp out and have a slumber party! But seriously, I really may need to isolate myself next time she shows...I was doing SO well last night - DH was being super supportive and sweet. I was able to tell him little things that disappointed me about this particular cycle - like being bummed that we don't get to tell our family in person about a BFP, seeing my friend's baby, all that crap. And he was just hugging me and helping with dinner and just being super great. And then we went to bed and for some reason I decided to bring up this crap from two months ago - back then he said "maybe we'll never have a baby, it won't be the end of the universe". That has just really stuck in my craw and last night it was bothering me something fierce. I should have kept my mouth shut though because when I told him that bothered me he got really defensive and we got into a terrible fight. It was awful. I sobbed my heart out. We made up around midnight and finally got some sleep but I just can't take these knock down drag out fights every cycle. I know it is mostly my fault, and DH is getting really scared of me I've got to find a way to take it easier when Aunt Flo shows. Either that or find a cave - seriously! I'd love to hear how you ladies cope on the hardest day of the month. I'm sorry we all have TOO much experience with it! Maybe if we share some strategies it would help...

Titi - there is no way on earth I'll ever learn to "just relax". But I know I need to find a way to obsess less. Ugh - the constant battle.

Funny ya'll are talkin' novenas. My Mother in Law (whose top advice is to "just relax and forget about it" - even though she tried for 7 years before getting pg!) just emailed me the novena to St. Jude. I want to go out and get a St. Jude medallion to wear and hold while I say it.

Thanks so much for all the well wishes It really does help and means the world to me

 

[Titi]

Reba - I really wouldn't worry about the baby batter that drips out.

..

aw Jaimie first you cracked me then you made me sad! Boy do I remember keeping my DH up ALL night when he was trying to sleep blubbering over something he said that hurt my feelings. That is the worst feeling! I'm so sorry!
I don't get crazy on cd1-I get crazy like 4 days before. REALLY bitchy and yell at DH for everything. DH takes it for about an hour or so and then he says "4 days to go!" I guess that's my only coping skill for that-it cracks me up every time b/c it's become like clockwork that I can't even get mad at him or deny it.

CD 1 I am just a blubbery mess-maybe even the day before if I am convinced I am not pg-just really emotional about the prospect of never having any baby. I haven't found a way to cope with it yet-besides treating myself to whatever I want to eat or spending money on stupid things-neither really healthy things. I also act really lazy and sorry for myself and let myself go with that for a day.

I don't think you DH meant to let you down by what he said. I know my husby wants a baby soooooo much and he always says things like that as a way, I think of staying "positive" (he's real big into that) or trying to make me feel better. Stupid guys-they don't know at that moment I want him to literally sit down on the couch with me and bawl about how unfair life is........then snuggle, sniffle, and get on with our day sharing an ice cream or something. I think that statement just helps to feel like he is keeping the pressure off. The guys hate the pressure I think that comes with LTTTC.

Don't anybody worry about being crass. I love how B&B has turned all of us. It's like the things we used to think were really private and would never tell anyone ("hey I just checked up my woohoo to see what kind of cervical fluid I'm making") are totally normal here!

 

[Titi]

oh ps. you won't believe this but I had the medal of St. Rita and rubbed it while I said my prayers! LOL!!!!

She did not feel fit to send me a bfp that month tho. : (
Hey there is always St. Jude........................

 

[Whitbit22]

At that last part! haha
I am also SO thankful for bnb and you lovely ladies. You help me cope! I am seriously a mess otherwise. Because hard as Dh may try.. well, you know. I do the same things to cheer myself up Titi. I shop whenever I can--but thats really all cycle. Just to comfort myself and suppress the obsessions. I try not to give in on the food. But Im naughty probably once a week. (I know not THAT naughty, but I AM on a diet) I've quit working out, I dont know if its because of depression setting in or what. Ok I havent quit, I was going everyday and now only go like 2-3 times a week! Still not going over my calories though so I guess I'm kinda ok.. If I wasnt so lazy my butt would be back in the gym every day like I was two weeks ago! It always made me feel okay I just cant brng myself to go.

STUPID HORMONES!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Awesome - I totally yelled at DH 4 days before CD 1 too. But that was the night before I had a stupid psych out ID on my chart and I got all hopeful, despite your wise warning. Keeping our DH's up all night to watch us blubber ROCKS
I love the new Marlow pic - I still want to nom on her belly. Nom nom.

Please tell me about St. Rita - I'd love to know more! St. Jude helped my MIL sell her house yesterday so that inspired her to send me the novena. Would you believe that I was/am jealous of the fact that she sold her house before I got pg? Because she put it on the market a couple of months after we started trying. So somehow that become something worth getting jealous of

Howdy Whitbit! How are ya?

My DH won't let say baby batter - he is highly adverse to that term

 

[Titi]

laughing again!

Oh yes-I forgot St. Jude was patron saint of house selling : P

St. Rita is the patron saint of (drum roll please).......the impossible!!!! I have the whole petition........bear with me this week is so rough my carpel tunnel like syndrome is killing but as soon as it quits and I have more time I will type the whole thing up and pm it with some info to anyone who wishes. Also I know St. Gerard is the patron saint of helping women conceive. I don't have that novena anymore but you can google one!

I was going to the gym every day about a month ago and now haven't been in a month! I am so bad once I get off something about getting back on.

 

[Titi]

oh and I love nomming puppy belly!!!!! Lol! Would so do it to a baby too!

 

[Whitbit22]

Im good honey how are you?
I've always wondered about the Saints' prayers. I've had people give me cards before but never felt like I could use them since I'm not catholic.

 

[Isi Buttercup]

I absolutely swear by Novenas .

St. Rita's is definitely one of my favorite. There's also St. Gerrard, who's the patron Saint of Mothers. There's St. Anthony of Padua (my patron Saint, and I have gotten practically everything I've asked through him)....so many of them. Beautiful beautiful prayers.

 

[Titi]

Hi Whit-
The saints will happily pray for anybody-in heaven there is no religion!

Wow Isi we are so close in cycles........I am 5dpo today.

Well nothing new-busy busy workday today-and half of one tomorrow-then a day off!

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Hi Ladies.

Titi - i cant find out how to get the banner back on my signature??? Any ideas?

Jamie - hopefully the "fluid" that falls out after sex is just the little swimmers that wont make it.... I have tried a softcupp before but panicked when putting it in (thought I wasnt gonna get it out again) that I freaked and havent used them since - think Ill stick with pillow under bum!

St Gerard Majella is the patron saint of expectant mothers - my middle name is Majella because my mother prayed to him whilst pregnant. Maybe I should try too. My SIL has sent a thing away to St Jude for me too - I must look him up and see what he's all about. I think I might need to get some faith back - ive been thinking about it for a while - Im catholic but not very active - hardly ever go to Mass (christmas, funerals, christenings - communion this weekend). I really think I need to start praying again.

As for PMS i dont get it too bad - i feel a bit depressed leading up to AF cos I know in my heart im not pregnant but once she arrives the PMS goes away. I was talking to my friends at the weekend who said they feel suicidal leading up to AF - i thought that was amazing - then I started thinking maybe my hormones are out of wack if Im not getting any strong crazy feelings.....

If i decide to take the clomind (still not sure) then my hormones will be all over the place !! poor DH.....

 

[Titi]

What a beautiful middle name! What a coincidence too-about your mother!

I find the softcups VERY easy now-following the directions (sitting on toilet and pull straight out toward the wall by hooking finger under rim, not trying to pull downward like a tampon) have never had any problems. BUT I seem to have a brand new super intimate relationship with my Vag-jay since TTC! I can't believe how much LTTTC forces you to be all up in there, lol. From the cm/cp checking, softcups, baking soda finger, ovacue vaginal sensor, preseed applications.........the list goes on! I didn't even know where my cervix WAS before all this.

I wondered about what Clomid hormones would do too-yikes!

Oh, for banner-I think you can rt click on any of ours that you like and "copy image url". Then in your siggy page click on the URL imagine icon and just paste in. Someone else may need to help you though-I'm not good at this.

 

[Isi Buttercup]

Beautiful middle name Reba. Totally gorgeous!

Yay for cycle buddies, Titi . Will you be testing or waiting for AF?

The cycle I took clomid, I had the most evil pregnancy symptoms ever.....but I read that clomid does tend to do that. Besides that, I wasn't too hormonal.

 

[Titi]

I am not sure about testing. I never know. If I have tests here I can never help myself. Usually I don't keep any in the house and then just wait for AF unless I have crazy symptoms. This last cycle I had some free with a purchase of something else and tested when I thought I was late for AF-the blood actually started coming AS I was on the toilet peeing for test. I could have died it was awful.

how about you?

 

[Isi Buttercup]

LOL. That must have been annoying! I find testing way too heartbreaking and anxiety building. I prefer to just wait for AF.

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Hey Whit! Some cultures/religions are really focused on saints more than catholicism - so I don't think it is any problem at all asking them to intercede for you. Here in Tucson there are shrines to various saints all over town - in people's backyards, along the side of the road, etc. We have some super old shrines that go WAY back to the spanish missionaries and such. Most of the shrines are to the Virgin Mary but there are others. I feel like the saints are really good for us half wayers ; P Seriously hope I'm not offending anyone with that - just trying to be honest about my conflicted religious aspirations! Hee. I really appreciate the posts from Reba, Titi, and Isi about the various saints and your prayers to them.

In the name of disengaging from my obsession, which of course is quite clear after AF shows, I've decided not to temp this month. I'm really regular so I'm quite certain my window is CD 13 - 16. I may try the softcups though - thanks for posting about your confidence with them Titi. Gonna stick with the EPO and grapefruit for my CM, vitamins and good clean living for DH's spermies, and trying to let go of the longing...just gotta trust that our bodies are made to procreate and that some day we'll get our hearts desires!

You know, the longer it takes for me and so many others, the more I've become convinced that the data on conception might be off. I'd really like to see some current data on 30 somethings and how long it takes. I have the feeling it takes longer than we've been led to expect. I find that encouraging because most of my frustration is with the fact that I expected it wouldn't take this long...so I try to take some reassurance in the possibility that it will happen, just not according to my false expectations. Ha! I expected I'd be expecting by now