Lucky thread

[baileybubs]

It is annoying at times, but also had its advantages when it comes to babysitting lol!

I think for the first 2 weeks you will just enjoy napping, watching tv and relaxing and then it won't be long til he arrives anyway! I do think I went a bit too early in one respect coz I was soooooo ready for her to get here by 38 weeks as I'd already been off for 6 weeks! But my job was making me too tired and there was all that illness so I had to really.

I would just plan to do nothing but potter and maybe visit some friends and family, but mainly spend loads of time just chilling and enjoying your own company.

 

[cupcake1981]

Yeah that's kinda my plan really, my mum is off Mondays and Fridays so will probably see her, then just potter the other days and try and keep on top of the housework and washing so if baby comes I don't have to be embarrassed at the state of my house for all the annoying visitors! Will mostly enjoy not having to work and use my brain!

 

[baileybubs]

Don't even bother about your house being tidy Hun! Everyone will be too busy looking at lbcc to care lol!

 

[baileybubs]

Have you thought about getting your dh to make sure you don't have too many visitors too soon?

 

[cupcake1981]

Oh I do care tho, my mum, sister and mil all have immaculate houses, so I hate people just dropping in unexpectedly!

 

[baileybubs]

Lol I know what you mean though, my MIL and SIL always have immaculate houses too and I'm actually a bit of a clean freak myself lol. So I say one thing to you but I do another lol!
I didn't care at all when she was first born coz I couldn't really move much anyway but after a few weeks I hate it being a mess lol!

 

[cupcake1981]

Yes we have had that chat many times, and I think it goes in one ear out the other. I've told him I want to be asked b4 he invites people over, ESP if i have a bad birth or am struggling to get into BFing, and ESP when the baby blues kick in!

 

[baileybubs]

I would just keep reiterating it to him hun, it really got to me when df invited his brother and kids over the day I came home with Emilia. Make sure he knows how important it is coz it's a sure fire way to start an argument and upset you.

Did I tell you my MILs pearls of wisdom for today? Emilia tends to cry when FIL holds her, so MIL has decided that its because she doesn't socialise much, she spends most of her time with just me! I was so annoyed coz I go out with a group of ladies from work and their babies once a week, I meet up with another friend once every month or so with her baby, and me and df see his mate, wife and kid as well as our friends who have just had a baby. Plus I go to see my family every single week! But apparently she doesn't socialise and is mostly just with me according to MIL.

 

[cupcake1981]

Lol maybe your FIL just scares her, old men can be scary for babies! Mils and their wisdom huh.

I keep on Hun but the reality is when lbcc is here hubby will just want to show him off to everyone. If he invites people round and I feel shit or sore or need to feed, or am in my pyjamas, me and lbcc will just go off to the bedroom and visitors will have to wait or go home. It's the one time in my life that I will be completely selfish and not care about what others think! He'll learn to check things with me then!

If I'm really ill in hospital after the Birth the only people ill want are hubby and my parents, since his parents betrayed my trust I don't want them there seeing me looking at my worst and in pain, as I don't want it reported back to everyone else!

There's a complication in that his sister is down from North Yorkshire from the 18th to the 22nd so if I have him then ill have no choice but to have her here, which I understand as shell get no other opportunity to see her nephew, but it wont just be her will it!

You can probably tell that this is causing me quite a lot of anxiety!

 

[baileybubs]

Just do what you said and disappear to the bedroom if you feel crappy, or baby needs feeding then, like you said dh will learn then to check its ok with you!
Yeah I didn't really like the in laws coming to the hospital and seeing me at my worst but coz I was in for 3 days I didn't have a choice, I couldn't really make them wait 3 days to see her but let my parents, df wouldn't have been happy with that. It's amazing how quickly it goes from everyone looking out for you and putting your best interests first to not caring lol! Well they do care, but the way you are treated suddenly changes, just when you really don't need it to lol!

 

[cupcake1981]

Yeah that's the trouble. Ill probably want my mum to be about to help me and stuff but I know that hubby will see it that for every hour my mum is allowed to be round the baby his mum will be allowed the same. He doesn't really understand that I might need my mum but actually not want my mil around.

Yeah I defo don't want them at the hospital. I'm feeling quite anxious about how it's all going to be managed to be honest!'

 

[baileybubs]

Don't let it get to you too much Hun, you'll find that once people have been and seen him that will be it, no-one really wanted to come round again and again except my mum and MIL so if you can try and just keep MIL to a minimum. And you'll be surprised how well you will cope Hun, I thought I'd need my mum loads but I didn't, I preferred it just being me, df and Emilia. I'm sure once the initial visits are done with people will just leave you to get one with things as a new little family.
My advice is take advantage, that's where I went wrong! When someone visits, particularly family, just casually ask "would you mind just putting that washing in for me, I would be I'm still so sore and hubby's useless with laundry" or "is there any chance you could nip to the supermarket for me and just pick up a few bits" I learned to do this too late lol! But make it work in your favour, if people are gonna come round at an inconvenient time for you just make it worth it for you lol!

 

[cupcake1981]

Yeah that's a good point, like you tho I hate asking for help as im very independent and would rather just struggle myself to do stuff!

I'm just gonna do what I said before tho and if people are there and I don't want them around ill just bugger off to the bedroom or the nursery, they'll soon get the hint!

 

[baileybubs]

Exactly lol! And it's hard to accept help (I'm still terrible for it but seem to have made a rod for my own back now coz now noone offers it lol). But for those first few weeks really try and let them help, you'll need it, look at it as, they help you so you can do everything else for baby. That made it easier for me to accept help.

 

[cupcake1981]

Yeah that's a good way to look at it, I'll try and keep that in my head!

Feels so odd that tomorrow's my last day! Can't get my head around it!

 

[baileybubs]

Aw it will be lovely day, I felt sad on mine coz I thought I wouldn't go back there, but I am going back after all lol!

 

[cupcake1981]

Have you decided to go back now? When will that be and on what basis?

 

[baileybubs]

Yeah I'm gonna go back part time 20 hours and just say I can't work weds an thurs before 3pm coz they are the only times that my mum or his mum can't babysit (I'm not banking on df's days off coz we know how reliable that is lol, if he's off when I'm working he can look after her, but if not either his mum or mine will be available).

It's purely because we have decided to ttc again so soon which I didn't think we would when I was pregnant. I thought I would find it harder with a baby but it's not as hard as everyone says, well it is lol, but the love and the joy of it just erases out the negatives and makes me want to do it all again soon lol! So my plan is back to work part time from January and ttc from January so hopefully only back at work for 6-12 months before being back on maternity lol.

 

[cupcake1981]

So you're not going back until January, that must be a nice thought to have that stretch still ahead of you!

I hope I'm lucky enough to have a good baby like you!

 

[baileybubs]

Yeah my mat pay runs out December but there's no way we can cover child care over Christmas and new year so I can't go back til January. We will just have to use savings through December and not give very good pressies to people lol!

It's weird coz I always say how good she is and she's a quiet baby but my mum and df's mum say she's not quiet and she's a bit of a handful when she's not happy lol. Which I admit she is, but I think she's still fairly easy and good lol!