Moms of April/May/June 2010 babies thread! :)

[maybebaby3]

frufru - enjoy swimming!

h&f - hope you are ok

owen has just had a bf and has gone down for a nap so am off to do the chores now. he'll prob wake in 5 mins tho

 

[Sarahwoo]

Morning all!

Oliverwoo is nine months old today!!!!!

We haven't got much planned, we will probably take a walk to the shops later on if the weather is okay, other than that I just have some housework to do

Hope everyone has a lovely day!!

 

[maybebaby3]

happy 9 months oliver isnt it funny to think that up to about this point they'd spent more time in your belly than out!?!

 

[maybebaby3]

my sil is going to sign up to WW online for me. i just passed over the money to her so hopefully she'll do it today or tomorrow!!! i have been awful today though stuffing my face when i actually get the online stuff set up i know i wont slip up so much.

 

[Sarahwoo]

happy 9 months oliver isnt it funny to think that up to about this point they'd spent more time in your belly than out!?!

i was thinking the same! I told Steve and he said yeah just think, we could have had another one by now

 

[modo]

h&f: I hope you are ok I really do remember how stressful it is organizing a wedding

Sarah: Its sounds like you should give the resuable nappies another try before you decide. I would just do it full time to help you get it into it. I can send you a really pretty nappy to borrow if you want It might get you back into it! Quitting smoking does seem to be very hard and it probably is impossible to understand if you are a non-smoker. Glad you enjoyed visiting your parents.

Maybe: I am sorry Danny was mean again Its so insensitive how he just comes back late because he went out for a coffee. When do you get to do this stuff? It really isn't fair

Muddles: He slept for three hours yesterday! Today it was 50 mins (he also slept an hour in the morning) so maybe yesterday was a fluke. Or Maybe I should encourage him to skip the morning nap? Hope your friend has a nice time in Poland

Maybe: Well done to Dylan. You must be so proud Glad Danny is being nicer Yay! Glad you got your SIL to help I'll be joining on Monday because I can't find the scales!

Frufru: Hope you had a nice day

Sarah: Happy 9 months to Oliver they are growing up so fast! Wow Steve sounds pretty ready for number 2!

 

[maybebaby3]

happy 9 months oliver isnt it funny to think that up to about this point they'd spent more time in your belly than out!?!

i was thinking the same! I told Steve and he said yeah just think, we could have had another one by now

can you imagine!!! it was bad enough dylan and erin being 1yr 9mnts apart!!! well not bad but tough!!

 

[hope&faith09]

Hi all -

Really sorry to do this but I need a rant.

Basically my OH is the most unsupportive piece of rubbish - last night instead of helping with Amy or you know letting me have a break he sat in his office until 11pm ... Amy woke at 11.30 and didnt go back to sleep until 3. He didnt care he said leave her to cry ...I was hysterical because my doctor thinks I am suffering with exhaustion and depression and he just wouldnt help. So I ignored this behaviour and went out for lunch with my mum as planned today and he has just been a complete idiot and totally unsupportive all day.

On top of this ... we had a huge argument about hen / stag do's a few weeks ago as his best man has basically organised a weekend away. Not sure if I will be able to explain this properly but here we go ... we cant afford to go away on holiday at the best of times and havent been away even for a weekend in ages, so he told me it was all being paid for by the other people going and he was going for free. I still didnt understand why he had to go away for a weekend - he isnt a 'traditional stag' he already has responsibilities and commitments and like I said we dont go away so why does he get a holiday and I dont. (I cant afford a hen do and to be honest all I would want to do is have a spa day and a meal out) so I asked him not to do this weekend and just have a day out or a meal and drinks. But today I have found out they have booked a weekend away - 2 nights 3 days and he is paying £340 for himself to go?!? That money could get us a family break away which I really need at the moment.

Sorry for ranting I am sitting in tears and feel so down. x

 

[Sarahwoo]

Wow HandF your OH is sooooooo out of order there!!! Firstly, he really needs to be supporting you. I can't believe you are actually ill and he isn't helping! He seriously needs to man the hell up! Does he not get that you are medically ill? Argh! Secondly, he is complletely out of order re the stag do. Like you say he's got responsibilities. And what kind of a man takes a piss up weekend with his mates over a family break with his wife and baby? So if you decide you want to go away for the weekend and spend the same amount he's going to be okay with that is he, and he'll stay home with the baby?

 

[hope&faith09]

Sarah - thats the thing 1 I cant afford to go as he seems to have control of all the money and I am living off my savings, we have a joint account but all that goes in their is money for bills and food shopping. I have lost almost 2 1/2 stone and cant afford to buy any new clothes so I look like an idiot in clothes that are too big - he also insisted instead of me buying a new belt he would put more holes in mine so I could use it for longer.
2. I wouldnt want to leave Amy for a whole weekend she is our child and I dont feel it necessary to leave her out or behind.
3. He doesnt realise that I am ill. Also because I am so exhasuted and run down I have come down with full blown tonsilitus.

Sorry be back shortly Dave is currently shouting at Amy why cant he just pick her up. At this rate their wont be a wedding.

 

[Sarahwoo]

Oh Sarah it sounds really tough for you at the moment As he got something else on his mind? Something bothering him that he's taking out on you and Amy?

It sounds like he is been pretty controlling. Has he always been like this?

Am I right in thinking you're not going back to work? So you won't have your own money? If thats the case then, IMO, you really need to talk about how things will work. I would hate to have to ask for every penny. While I'm lucky that I bring in my own money from my work at home stuff, if I wasn't bringing that in and I was relying on Steve for all my money, I think we'd have to come to an arrangement whereby each money he put a certain amount of money into my account for me to spend how I liked etc. At the moment, Steve has a lot more disposable income than me, so quite often if I buy myself something when he's not there he'll find out how much it was and send me that money.

I wish I had some better advice other than sit him down and talk to him or write him a letter. He needs to understand that you're ill, and that he is out of order. Its one thing for a man to provide for his wife, but it shouldn't be an excuse to control the relationship.

The stag do thing would, TBH, really be an issue for me. If money wasn't tight and you weren't ill and struggling a bit, and maybe if it was just for one night, I might be inclined to say grin and bare it. But as it is, no, its just wrong. With spending money it will cost him well over five hundred quid. When he hasn't even given you fifty quid to nip to Primark and get some clothes that fit you, well he should be ashamed of himself.

 

[hope&faith09]

He isnt normally to controlling - I'm not going back to work ...he thinks that the £20 a week I get off tax credits is enough for me to live off but that doesnt even cover the fuel in my car as we use it every weekend for family things. I think work is tough for him at the moment but thats his own fault as he cant organise his diary properly and then works until really late at night which causes arguments between us.

I have just tried to talk to him and he said I was being pathetic and to get over it and has just walked out the door. Now Amy is crying and I am crying and I dont know what to do I just cant cope.

Really sorry I shouldnt be saying this on here. Sorry again.

 

[Sarahwoo]

Don't be sorry, we don't mind! Hell we've all done it before! We are all here to support each other, if you need support I'm just glad that you can come on here

First things first, take a deep breath and then take a couple more. Forget about Dave for a little while, pretend he's not there and concentrate on little gorgeous Amy. She won't like seeing her mummy upset If I were ou I would forget about everything else and just have some nice Amy cuddles, get sat somewhere comfy with her and just snuggle for a bit, you'll both feel much better

Do you have much support from your parents? Could you talk to your mum? I think if Steve was been like this, and I was ill like you are, I might be inclined to go to my mums for a few days to get some help with baby and get some strength back and get your head together. Or at least I'd say thats what I was going to do and see if that bucked his ideas up. You need support, in my book you get that where you can

 

[Sarahwoo]

Just to add, does Dave not live in the real work?!?!? Is there any way you could go back to work part time just for a bit of money for you?

 

[hope&faith09]

He doesnt want me to work because he doesnt want Amy at nursery.

I will hopefully be back on in a bit going to go and lie and have a cuddle with Amy I just feel so down and pathetic. Sorry guys.

 

[Sarahwoo]

Sarah I think unless he changed his ways I'd be saying thats fine, I'll get an evening / weekend job and you can take Amy, that way she isn't in nursery so he can't complain. he needs to change is ways

Hope you have a lovely snuggle with Amy

I'm off to do the I have a HUGE pile to do When it's done I'm going to reward myself with a chocolate pudding

 

[maybebaby3]

h&f - huge hugs what an insensitive twat! will post properly later! xxx

 

[emera35]

Ergh, feeling really ropey Both my ears are infected AGAIN!!! At least the doctor finally took swabs to find out what treatment i need rather than throwing random anti-biotics at me and hoping for the best I'm feeling poo, i can't chew at all as my jaw hurts so much. To top it off, poor Roh is poorly too, he has some random virus thing, he's all covered in a rash and his temperature keeps spiking, plus he's off his food, and was sick this evening Poor mite I reeeally don't want to go to work tomorrow Oh well, i'm sure we'll all feel better soon!

I'm going to go to bed now Roh's finally asleep, i really just wanted to pop on to say

Big to H&F Sarah is right, Dave really needs to man up. Honestly, it sounds like he's being really unreasonable. You need to take the time to relax a bit, try to get your head straight so that you can feel calm about everything, and then have a talk with him, because he really needs to sort his priorities out! I've noticed though that my OH takes things in alot better if i'm really calm when i'm pissed off with him, and just lay everything out without getting emotional. I can find it pretty difficult if i'm feeling upset about things, but i usually just write everything i want to say down before hand, get it out my head, and then sit there with the peice of paper and read it all out. He really needs to appriciate that you are actually depressed and exhausted, not just having a grumble or being hormonal, and that you need him on side and helping. I really feel for you hun
- Sorry if that didn't make much sense, its the wrong end of the day really, hope you get what i mean

Also, happy 9 months to Oliver!

Right off to bed with me, all round

 

[maybebaby3]

emera - can you take sick leave tomorrow? hope you and roh feel better soon

sarah - i should be tackling the enormous ironing pile i have but am having a cuddle with owen instead

h&f - dave needs to realise you need more than £20 a week in my experience i have just learnt to deal with the kids myself and expect little or no help from danny (not saying this is the right thing but i just get on with it myself and have made peace with the fact that i'm always going to be the one going to them when they wake etc) i think it's awful that dave doesnt acknowledge the fact that you are ill. you have been through a lot the last year! You need to tackle the money problem as it will really get you down. danny's always going on about money but he doesnt expect me to live off £20 a week! that's a mad figure. ask dave to live off that for a week and see what it's like! if he's the one that doesnt want amy in nursery then he needs to support you financially!!! as for the stag weekend i'd be livid. how can you not have money to go away on a family holiday but then he can find the money to go and piss it up the wall with his mates?!! his priorities are totally screwed! i'm so mad at him for you he's bang out of order i hope you are ok and that he cools down, comes back and appologises

 

[hope&faith09]

Can someone just tell Dave to think about me for once. Amy is finally asleep but he is crashing about downstairs if he wakes her up it will be another 2 hours of settling that I will have to do. Argh I cant stop crying I obviously am just a terrible mum - he just said I am not looking after her right and need to grow up.