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Moving over from the ttc after loss thread
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mackjess
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mackjess
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Well Annabel is a sweet girl and good baby, but it has been a struggle so far with two. It's almost affected my bonding with her and I might contact my ob if I still feel down. She was a big baby when born, and had her blood sugar drop which is common in bigger babies, so I had to supplement with formula until my milk came in. Then she wasn't gaining quite an ounce a day, still gained and only lost 2 percent at the hospital, but we had to take her in 4 times for weight checks. Ugh. Yesterday wss a good weigh in so no going back for that. Then we had to go back to the hospital twice for her to have blood draws, even though her bilirubin scores were good. Just because it took awhile for her colour to look less yellow. She never did have jaundice so that was annoying. Then we all had a round with a stomach bug and we were .3 degrees away from having to take her to the ER Friday night but thank God her fever dropped. During all this it's been hard to nurse and do skin to skin, so I just got her off supplementing with formula today finally. A lot of pumping, oatmeal and mom's tea to get my supply up.
So, she is beautiful and perfect but a very stressful few weeks. I love her to pieces but hope to get the bond I felt right away with Finn if we have a quiet week at home. she's also so very nocturnal, and I've not been napping with all our doctor trips, so I'm sure exhaustion is playing a role. It's been hard with two so far, but I figure it can only get better from here.
And here's a sweet photo. Totally worth all the struggle.
So, she is beautiful and perfect but a very stressful few weeks. I love her to pieces but hope to get the bond I felt right away with Finn if we have a quiet week at home. she's also so very nocturnal, and I've not been napping with all our doctor trips, so I'm sure exhaustion is playing a role. It's been hard with two so far, but I figure it can only get better from here.
And here's a sweet photo. Totally worth all the struggle.
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Mack it sounds like you've had a really tough start with getting ill as well! Poor you and poor family. She looks absolutely gorgeous though and you are doing an amazing job. Keep going mamma! Feeding is tough, I think you just presume it will go ok if it has before but it's a struggle. Arthur too lost weight and had a slight yellowing. It's so common. As long as she's being fed it doesn't matter that you are topping her up. Maybe just express everytime you need to top her up to get your milk supply up. It's so hard when you are so exhausted but she'll soon learn night from day. Is there anything herbal you can take to boost supply?? Thought I read fenugreek but may have imagined that haha.
How has Finn been? I hope he's been ok so far. It must be strange for them. I think the problem with bonding with no.2 (for me anyway) is because you get worried about how child no.1 is feeling and if they feel sad/left out/not as close. I beat myself up and tried to spread myself too far to please everyone and that was hard but Jack soon learnt that Arthur had to come first for a little while. I still gets a little jealous occasionally but much better now. It just gets easier and easier as the weeks go on. For you the struggles with feeding and being poorly will be adding to normal pressures too! Try not to be hard on yourself as you have plenty of time and that bond will grow and grow. For us it was the other way round, it was instant with Arthur but took a while with Jack. We have an amazing bond though now and it didn't take long to grow.
Motherhood = constant worry, stress and guilt!!! = wrinkles and eye bags and fat bum due to chocolate and wine consumption 😀😌😋
How has Finn been? I hope he's been ok so far. It must be strange for them. I think the problem with bonding with no.2 (for me anyway) is because you get worried about how child no.1 is feeling and if they feel sad/left out/not as close. I beat myself up and tried to spread myself too far to please everyone and that was hard but Jack soon learnt that Arthur had to come first for a little while. I still gets a little jealous occasionally but much better now. It just gets easier and easier as the weeks go on. For you the struggles with feeding and being poorly will be adding to normal pressures too! Try not to be hard on yourself as you have plenty of time and that bond will grow and grow. For us it was the other way round, it was instant with Arthur but took a while with Jack. We have an amazing bond though now and it didn't take long to grow.
Motherhood = constant worry, stress and guilt!!! = wrinkles and eye bags and fat bum due to chocolate and wine consumption 😀😌😋
mackjess
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Thanx bobster. Finn has actually been really great, but I miss him. I'm sure this is affecting my bonding too. He's been a little on the cranky side but never had attitude Regarding his sister.
I've been so tired I'm actually co sleeping with her at night so I can actually rest with her frequent feedings. Finn was slept at night and in his crib by 8 days. I had to set my alarm to wake him for night feeds. It was just easier over all I think. I hope the nocturnal thing turns soon.
I've been so tired I'm actually co sleeping with her at night so I can actually rest with her frequent feedings. Finn was slept at night and in his crib by 8 days. I had to set my alarm to wake him for night feeds. It was just easier over all I think. I hope the nocturnal thing turns soon.
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mamademarc
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Hi Bobster, I call my bestfriend bobster too, strangely. I'm here after 2 losses and I just wanted to say that I'd rather hear positive stories to give me hope, so it's nice to see bfp. Here's hoping for a sticky bean this time. Xx
Hi mamadermac. Sorry for your losses. I had 2 too and now have 2 healthy boys so don't give up! In fact all the girls on this thread have had at least 1 so we know how hard it is and what a worry it is when you get bfp.
Mack that picture is just gorgeous. Sounds like Finn was brilliant. Both my babies we've co-slept. Still co-sleeping with Arthur now at 5 months. Jack went into his cot at 12 weeks. Just do what you have to do to get sleep and enjoy the cuddles with her as it goes so quickly
Mack that picture is just gorgeous. Sounds like Finn was brilliant. Both my babies we've co-slept. Still co-sleeping with Arthur now at 5 months. Jack went into his cot at 12 weeks. Just do what you have to do to get sleep and enjoy the cuddles with her as it goes so quickly
mlm115
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Aw Mack, so sorry you had such a rough time! Glad she is doing well now, but how stressful for everyone. The pictures are just gorgeous though! Don't beat yourself up over anything. Like bobster said, mom guilt is such a tough thing. We all feel it at one point or another. Sounds like you are doing your best. Remember, you are a GREAT mom! You got this 😉
mackjess
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Thanks ladies. I think starting off with so much pain, and bad pain management with my first shift of nurses, then having to supplement and my supply struggling, then All the dang appts got me off to a bad start and really interrupted my bonding with her. I started taking Zoloft and things have been quieter at home. Feeling better over all, just a little down in the evenings because I know a long night is ahead. Dh is sleeping in the other room since he has his own challenges being mostly in charge of the 3 year old, who's been difficult at bedtime and middle of the night waking himself, and he needs sleep to go to work.
You have to do what works for you both. Sleeping separately seems to work for a lot of people (me included). Just remember all these things are temporary measures and things will become normal again, it will just be a different normal. Finn will adjust and get back to his old self (and better for being a big bro), you'll have some time back with him and he will grow into his big brother role as she starts to respond to him and give something back to him! Night times will get easier to deal with too. Hang in there you are doing an amazing job! Just remember all these changes are temporary and just a tiny blip in time on your little ones and your lives! Keep going it will all be so worth this hard part very soon
mlm115
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How is everything going Mack? How long do you have until you go back to work? Hope this doesn't sound terrible, but it might be nice to have a bit of a "break" when you do get back. At least you'll get to pee and eat lunch by yourself 😉
How about you bobster? What new things are your kids up to lately?
How about you bobster? What new things are your kids up to lately?
Nice to hear from you mlm. We're all good here thanks. Jack and Arthur have a horrible chesty cough right now but apart from that we're all fine. How are you and girls??
Mlm's right Mack pee'ing in private is a luxury and a perk of going back to work lol! Hope you are getting on a bit better now and she's sleeping a bit more for you.
How are you two feeling about the election?? Donald trump has been all over our news here in the U.K. What a wally he is!
Are you two getting ready for Christmas? Will your lo's be dressing up for Halloween?
Mlm's right Mack pee'ing in private is a luxury and a perk of going back to work lol! Hope you are getting on a bit better now and she's sleeping a bit more for you.
How are you two feeling about the election?? Donald trump has been all over our news here in the U.K. What a wally he is!
Are you two getting ready for Christmas? Will your lo's be dressing up for Halloween?
mlm115
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Funny you asked about the election, it's so big here but I didn't think about it being a topic in other countries. I personally think Trump is ridiculous and a bit embarrassing to see him representing a huge part of our country!
Norah is obsessed with princesses, so she is going to be Cinderella and Audrey will be Snow White. What about your kids? Norah is very excited about it this year which is fun.
Norah is obsessed with princesses, so she is going to be Cinderella and Audrey will be Snow White. What about your kids? Norah is very excited about it this year which is fun.
Oh my gosh she's so big!!! When did that happen? I'm sure the last picture we saw she looked so much younger. She's absolutely adorable! She looks like butter wouldn't melt in that pic haha!
Jack is obsessed with dinosaurs, typical boy. He's got a dinosaur costume so think he'll be wearing that. He's quite scared of all the costumes in the shops and wants to carve a happy face in our pumpkin so that's what we'll be doing haha! We're not going trick or treating this year but will invite them to come here for treats if wanted. Next year I think we'll go round when Arthur's a bit older.
Yes the election is all over our news. Its so different to our system over here. It doesn't look too promising for Trump as far as I'm aware? Hope not.
Jack is obsessed with dinosaurs, typical boy. He's got a dinosaur costume so think he'll be wearing that. He's quite scared of all the costumes in the shops and wants to carve a happy face in our pumpkin so that's what we'll be doing haha! We're not going trick or treating this year but will invite them to come here for treats if wanted. Next year I think we'll go round when Arthur's a bit older.
Yes the election is all over our news. Its so different to our system over here. It doesn't look too promising for Trump as far as I'm aware? Hope not.
