Moving over from the ttc after loss thread

[MrsPhez]

Hey bobster, welcome home mama! Bit of a personal question, but are you sore down there to wee and stuff? Did you tear or need to be cut? Are your nipples sore from trying to feed? Are you bleeding lots? don't feel you have to say.

I want to try my best without an epidural too Mrs Phez. In 40% of cases they can make the labour longer and increase the chances of instrumental delivery- we'll see how I get on in the moment though when the pain is bad.
It's funny you say about a birth plan, some good friends of ours who just had their second said they didn't bother writing one the second time around either. I'm wondering whether to write one as I want the delayed cord cutting to be captured somewhere but if I end up having a c section or he needs help breathing then it all goes out the window anyway. What day is your 20 week scan?

What sort of essthings did you put on your baby gift list Mlm? When is your shower? We finally chose the curtains and mobile and need to order the wall stickers. Any left over material from taking the curtains up I hope to make a cushion for the chair in there.

God, I really feel like my abdominals are splitting apart- Feels so sore and bruised- had to take my bra off at work lol.
Antenatal class tonight.

Have fun at the class!
I just think more often than not, things don't go according to your plan, and that can cause extra unneeded stress. Fundamentals like cord cutting, skin to skin contact after birthprobably won't be affected so can go in plan but pain relief for example can change from minute to minute.
I had to use maternity pads for 6 weeks after Dexter which is normal I think. I had to have ventouse with the epi as conts slowed, also needed Pitocin to restart contractions so I was one of those statistics you mentioned. Was still very relaxed though and no pain. I wasn't sore as such but had episiotomy and the ventouse made me bruised for a few days so hard to sit down comfortably. Wasn't so bad though.
Scan is 4 pm next Wednesday!

 

[mackjess]

It's a tough call on the epi. I wish I'd gotten mine sooner. I was in so much pain (have I mentioned that I'm a complete wuss?) that I was so tense, things didn't start happening until after I had it. I think if I'd had it sooner and relaxed, he might have dropped or I may have dilated more. But now that it's over, and I ended up having a C Section, I'm not too worried about how he got here. I just love him to pieces.

And I finally changed my signature so I don't look 49 weeks pregnant. LOL

MLM- I've been renting a hospital pump and it's been working great, and since I'm spoiled by it I didn't want to take it back. I thought of you since you have shorter leave like me. I ordered this pump, I get it in the mail tomorrow. The one I got from my insurance SUCKED compared to the hospital one, so after lots of research I decided to go with this one. It's a lot, but there's no way the insurance pump I got would keep me breastfeeding and working for 3+ more months so I figure that it's worth it. I'll let you know how it does.

https://www.amazon.com/Spectra-Baby-USA-Hospital-Rechargeable/dp/B00DBKFFJM

 

[mlm115]

I never thought about renting one or about insurance covering a pump. I registered for the medela freestyle pump, but at $400 we will see if I actually get it!

Even though this is my first, I agree with what you all are saying about birth plans. While I would love to go without an epidural, I'm totally open to the fact that I may need one when the time comes. I'd hate to put the extra pressure on myself of feeling guilty if I have to "give in" to the pain meds!

 

[mlm115]

I like your new signature Mack. My anniversary is today, woo hoo for October weddings!

 

[mackjess]

call your insurance company. they gave me a number to call and I had a pump in a week. it was good to have as backup while I figured out my long term one. the medela pump in style is my second choice if I don't like the spectra. I've heard the freestyle has less suction but I haven't seen that one in action.

 

[mlm115]

Yeah, I heard the pump in style has better suction but the freestyle is better for traveling with. Thanks for the tip!

 

[mackjess]

everyone I know loves medela brand, so I feel like I'm taking a chance with the spectra! the insurance pump I got was an ameda. it was portable though and used batteries so I took it to the lake in case feeding on the road was hard. I used it about 3 times and it didn't have enough power for use like I'm going to need so if you stay away from that brand I think you'll be doing great.

and happy anniversary! last year we got drunk and stayed at a bed and breakfast during Irish fest. this year we are taking Finn to the sitter for a half day on Monday and doing lunch and a matinee movie. oh how times have changed. lol

what are you doing to celebrate?

 

[mlm115]

Aw that sounds like a nice anniversary date. We are going on a little weekend trip next weekend to a little bed and breakfast town. Nothing much, but I'm sure we won't be able to get away for a while after Norah comes.

 

[bobster]

Sorry for lack of updates ladies. Been so busy looking after jack and having visitors I've hardly had any time.


Struggling a bit with his insatiable hunger. My nipples are sore and I worry I'm not producing enough milk to satisfy him. I got the medula swing electric pump which I can recommend. Mack did your nipples get really really sore? Sometimes i think his latch is too shallow but I find it difficult to get him back on if I break the latch so occasionally have perservered which I think may have irritated my nipples. It's so so hard to bf!

Jane yes its really stinging to wee. I didn't tear but she said I have labial abrasions which is making it really sore. I'm also quite swollen down there which can make it hurt to sit down and walk. I have put some local anaestic cream called emla on everything after i use the toilet and also pour water over my bits as i pee which has helped so far. I didn't even think about the trauma down there before the birth! They also had to put a catheter in before the pushing stage as I wasn't able to empty my bladder which stung. Then they poked a finger up my bum after the birth too. I presume to get for trauma/piles? So all in all bound to be sore I guess! Bleeding still quite heavily but it has calmed down somewhat.

Will update properly when I'm on my laptop.

Hope you are all ok. Sounds like you are all doing well from glancing through the latest posts. I will try add pics later too

 

[mackjess]

yes my nipples did hurt quite a bit. they gave me a cream that had an antibiotic and steroid to use as well and it felt better in a day. I didn't think they were infected as I just had one tiny red mark, but the LC looked at that and gave me a script so I'm glad I'd mentioned it to her. when you are done bf, is your nipple pointy and slanted upward? They told me that's how you tell he had it in there far enough. and when he is latched you can use your finger a little to pull down his chin to make him open wider. I still have to pull down on Finns chin a bit cause he doesn't open his mouth wide enough and his lip is tucked in instead of pushed down. it usually doesn't break his latch when I do that.

bf is so hard. I think the only reason I didn't give up was I was too tired to figure out how to make a bottle. he used to do what I called ' feeding frenzies' where he'd nurse non stop for 4 hours. hang in there. I swear it gets easier. and if you are worried he isn't getting enough there's nothing wrong with dh giving him a bottle of formula while you pump to keep up your supply. I did that about 3 times during the early weeks. it usually took only an ounce or so to knock him out so he'd quit nursing non-stop and my boobs could fill a little and recover. they scare you so much about nipple confusion and not using bottles that we didn't try that till he was 3 weeks old.

I wish I'd tried a nip with a bottle the first week to calm him down. that's one thing I'll do different with the next one if needed. it was my pediatrician that made me feel better about trying it. she said I had a hungry baby that wouldn't give up eating just because I gave him the occasional bottle.

 

[GI_Jane]

I can't obviously offer any practical advice like mackjess but my antenatal teacher said it can take a couple weeks for the supply and demand to get established so don't worry about not producing enough milk. I have been recommended lanolin cream for sore nipples and it doesn't need to be removed before you feed baby. boots sell it in a lilac coloured box/tube.
Well done for persevering.

 

[mackjess]

Yes, deffo use the lanolin cream if you don't have it, and if you can try to put it on then let them hang out and air dry after feeding/pumping. I also had to use ice at times, but for short periods and just right on the nipple so it wouldn't deter the milk coming in.

I hope I didn't sound too wordy or know it all like. You get TONS of advice from everyone when you are a first time mom. Most of it I listened to and it didn't really apply so it just went out the other ear. The breastfeeding advice though, that I got from several people, was all helpful so I just wanted to share.

 

[mackjess]

One other handy tip I got from a mom of 3 boys. When getting him ready for his bath (after the cord falls off) get his diaper opened up and drape a warm soapy wash cloth over his bits. And let it stay there for a minute while the tub is filling up or you are getting the rest of his clothes off. It also pre-soaks his booty if you want to wipe that off before he gets dunked. Before I did that, it would never fail and soon as Finn's cheeks hit the water the fountain would go off and I'd drain and refill the tub while he was fussing at me. Since I've been doing the warm water presoak, he's only whizzed in the tub twice.

 

[mlm115]

I appreciate the breast feeding advice, feel free to share any time Mack! Thank you!!

 

[bobster]

Thanks ladies its nice to know what i'm feeling like is normal and things will most likely get easier. I got some forumla today as a backup. Felt such a rubbish mum last night as he was awake most of the night really hungry and I was so tired and sore I couldn't bare to feed him. OH had to take him away and sooth him so I could get some sleep and then I took over at 4am so he could get some. I think we're going to try give him a bottle of formula tonight just to give my boobs a break.

 

[GI_Jane]

Oh bobster, he looks beautiful. Congratulations.

 

[mlm115]

Oh bobster he is adorable! You must be so in love.

 

[mackjess]

OMG Jack is so cute. Darling little snugglet. I already miss Finn being so tiny!

I don't miss those nights from the early weeks. There were times we were both crying, and I even broke down once at the pediatrician telling her about one of his hungry nights because I felt so bad. The few bottles he got were a huge relief. It's nice to have a break and know your baby isn't hungry. Seriously in a few weeks it will be so much easier, and it gets easier every week.

 

[MrsPhez]

Hooray, 20 weeks and half way there
And 3 days till the scan, gosh I am excited!
All good here, more kicks, feeling fat. Will let you all know how it goes on Weds (4pm GMT)! Big hugs to you all. Jack's a poppet Bobster!

 

[mlm115]

Congrats phez! Can't wait to know the gender!