Moving over from the ttc after loss thread

Aww poor Finn! Hope he gets better soon. It must be awful seeing him poorly. Jack's got a little snuffle and thats bad enough!

Me and OH tried to dtd the other evening as I thought things had recovered down there but oh no it was ouch! When does that get better mack? Feel like im neglecting poor boyfriend as its been about 2 months! Everything looks healed now and didn't have stitches. Sorry if tmi.
 
Congratulations on the 3rd tri Mlm, not long until you can join us on the sleep deprivation ride :winkwink: how are you feeling, any of the more annoying pregnancy symptoms rearing their head?

Oh no mackjess, hope the antibiotics kick in soon.

Ouch bobster. We haven't dtd for ages, maybe since I was about 20 weeks. I feel like I'm neglecting him too and to be honest I could do other things to put a smile on his face but I just don't feel like it. I feel very unattractive right now, I didn't get off lightly with the stretch marks and weight gain and my skin has really flared up on my face :nope:

We are using SMA formula which is the one they started him on in hospital so have stuck with that, we use powder during the day and the ready made stuff for night feeds. Thanks for the advice on the pumping mackjess.
 
ditto! I have stretch marks and bad skin galore too. Feel bad for him but i've lost my mojo completely!
 
How's greg doing with his sleeping? are you sharing the night feeds or going solo?
 
Greg has got reflux and needs to be held upright for quite a while after feeding which is really dragging out the feed. When he eventually goes down he is pretty good but there's only about an hour and thirty until it starts all over again.
How is jacks sleeping? Are you able to sleep when he sleeps?

I'm on changing and feeding duty until about 3 or 4 am when DH takes over and lets me sleep until he heads to work late morning but from tomorrow he is back to leaving at 6.30 am so not sure how we will work it then. I feel like perhaps I should do the whole night given that he is at work all day.

How do you ladies work it?
 
Thanks ladies, Finn is doing well. He never fussed much or had a fever from the ear infection. He's such a good baby, but I'm biased. :)

Jane, when DH went back to work I did all the night feedings. I had a bottle ready though when he got home from work and I'd crawl to bed and have an evening nap. It helped me make it through the nights!
 
I do all the night feeds now. The first weeks while dan was off we did it like you in shifts. He sleeps on the sofa Monday to Thursday so we don't wake him and then he gets up and helps on the weekends. To be honest though its easier to do it alone as jack only really settles by putting him on the boob and gets really fussy if you just give him a bottle.

He wakes for a feed every 3 hours but like Greg it can take him a while to feed and then settle. He does seem to be sleeping a bit longer the last few nights though at between 3-4 hours a pop. I can't sleep during the day. I've tried but i cant switch off when its daytime so I try to go back to sleep in the.morning after his first feed of day. I don't get up so I'm still tired. Then like Mack I try to get an early night.

He struggles to settle in his Moses basket though so I've been bed sharing with him while daddys on sofa. He goes to sleep at about half 8 in his.basket up until the first wake-up and then he doesn't settle on his own. I know its naughty and the hv would have a fit if she knew but its the only way we can both get some sleep.

Glad finn's doing well and is being good. I hope you are feeling ok too.
 
Is there anything they can give for his reflux Jane? I was wondering if jack had it too as he's sick a lot after feeds particularly with formula. How'd you know it was reflux?
 
Bobster, it was the community nurse at SCBU that suggested reflux from his symptoms of vomiting (projectile vomit rather than a bit of spit up) and never ending squirming when you put him down.
She suggested infacol you get at the chemist, burping him every 20 mL's, sitting him upright after feeding or in the bouncer and put the crib mattress at an angle. If that doesn't work she said go to the GP and they would give him ranitidine.
Hope this info helps. The frequent burping has helped, not tried the infacol.

The hv annoys me. We were told by SCBU to keep Greg warm as he is small he'd feel the cold more than a term baby, the hv walks in and first thing she says is that he has too many blankets on and the risk of SIDS increases so we took the blankets off. Next evening GP sent us to A&E because Greg's temperature had gone too low. They also said not to have his mattress at an angle where as SCBU nurse said to do it as prem babies are prone to reflux.

I think you need to do what works for you and sounds like what you are doing works for your situation. I think DH might have to start sleeping in the spare room or sofa too. Does jack like his pram carrycot? Greg seems to so I use that more than the crib during the day time when he is downstairs with me.

I think I will start doing the evening naps too but evening seems to be when Greg is settled and DH and I get to spend some time together over dinner- its difficult trying to do every thing at once.

How are you finding taking them out just to the supermarket etc? At the moment it feels like everything revolves around his feeding and getting him ready to go is a massive task, does this get better as you gain more confidence?
 
Oh yes its still a big polava to go anywhere with jack but I'm not as daunted by it as I first was. We have a big of. Routine where I put him in the pram and he screams so I then take him out and rock and feed him a bit of forumla an then put him back in and go really quick. If that doesn't work I will carry him till we get outside and moving and put him in once we're out s he tends to settle once we're going as he's being bumped about in the pram or in the car. There's been a couple of times when he's been screaming all the way round sainsburys and it is awful but nothing u can do.

At first he slept in carry cot as we didn't have a Moses basket but he didn't seem to like it so we don't tend to use it anymore apart from trips out. He naps in a bouncer.during day and sleeps in moses basket and my bed at night.

I know what u mean about all conflicting advice and interfering from health professionals. Sounds like you're doing a good job your own way though. I give jack ibfacol every evening at about 6 and he does seem less ubcomfortable since.

Worry that I'm not stimulating him enough but they don't do a lot Do they. Can't wait to get a smile from him
 
Yey, I made it to the supermarket and back with Greg on my own- felt like a big achievement.
Bobster, think you mentioned it was tricky trying to get bits in the shopping basket with the carrycot on- totally agree.
 
Oh thought it was just my model of pram! Maybe its all of them. It's fine with car seat attached but its a bit cold for that now. Perhaps the push chair bit will be easier when they're older. Glad you did it and it went ok. Did he sleep? Maybe try take him for a little walk each day so you can get used to the routine of getting him out. And also get more confident. That's what im doing and I am slowly getting new confident. I don't want to become a hermit either. I hate it when he cries though as I panic as not used to breast feeding ib public yet. Did it yesterday for the first time in a cafe but was sat in corner with 3 other breast feeding mums so was easier. Not done it on my own yet so might try and be brave today Eek. Are you still expressing and going bottles or are you bf as well? I don't feel like he's getting enough milk from me as he gets bigger so I keep having to top him up with formula :(
 
He slept the whole time so wasn't too bad, yep too cold for car seat only. I remember when I was shown the uppababy vista buggy, it had a vertical zip on the basket for that reason, don't know why more of them don't have that.

Well done for getting out as often as you do and for BF in public- sounds like you found a good spot. I'm going to build up to venturing out everyday. There is 'rhyme time' at the local children's centre so might aim for that when he's a bit older and had his first set of jabs. We want to take him swimming and baby massage/reflexology but he's too young. What activities are you looking at doing bobster?

Shame we don't live closer, would love to meet for a cuppa and slice of cake.

GP prescribed Greg gaviscon but have to wait one more week until he is 4 weeks old :nope:
 
Forgot to say that we are BF but for short periods of 10 mins only as he tires really quick but still using the nipple shield as he just can't get it all in his mouth otherwise. Then we are topping up with the formula and/or expressed milk but my volumes are small too so i reckon we will never work up to exclusive breast milk feeding.

Shame there is no way of knowing how much they have taken in when BF.

Breast feeding specialist told me of a herb called fenugreek that helps to improve volumes, I've been sprinkling it on my food during the day. Tastes like a curry powder- didn't go well with my yoghurt :dohh:
 
I take a fenugreek supplement as well Jane. it really helped when I was sick, my supply dropped big time. now that he's eating more, I keep taking it. a few times a week I still do on feeding with formula as I can't keep up!
 
Feel like i have af cramps. Post partum bleeding more or less finished about a week ago but now have a light red bleed again. Not sure if this is my first af or just more post baby bleeding. Feels like an af with the cramps. Thought af wasn't meant to return if bf? confused.

Thanks for tip on herb I will try it!
 
Did your light bleeding and cramps continue bobster? Sounds like it could be af. I think I read somewhere af could return at anytime but would be delayed if exclusively breast feeding only.

Did you book your 6 week check up for you and jack at the GP? Did you decide on your contraception- I was thinking the copper coil but not liking the potential for infection and heavy/painful periods.

I think I need to use the fenugreek supplements rather than the ground herb itself as I don't think I'm taking enough in because it tastes foul- I might have better luck with concentrated supplements like mackjess is using.
 
Well it got cold here. Way below freezing this morning. Finn looked so cute all bundled up and with a hat on. The talk about pumping made me do better at work. I've made sure to pump after his first feeding, and then 3 times at work for the full 15 minutes. I had been stopping when the milk stopped, but now my supply is going back up a little. Yay!

Hope everyone is having a good week!
 
How has it been going being back at work Mack? Easier or harder than you thought?
 
Well done mackjess, I was pumping whilst reading your post about pumping LOL.

How are you feeling mlm, have you purchased most things now, when is your baby shower- 80 days to go!

How are you doing Mrs Phez? I couldn't imagine doing these early days if I had a toddler to look after too....

Here is a pic of my tiny man, can't get it up the right way- sorry.
 

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