Moving over from the ttc after loss thread

[bobster]

Oh. O poor you Jane, hope you manage to get some rest bite today. The heat definitely doesn't help does it. We just put Jack to bed in his pj top and a thin blanket last night with the fan on full, that seemed to help a lot.

Plenty of fluids for you

We didn't get to bd and OH wS out last night so hungover today so unlikely today too. We shall see if 3 day old sperm has staying power in 2 weeks I guess! Yes had some ewcm this month Jane which I'm pleased about think bodies back to normal

 

[GI_Jane]

Good to hear about the EWCM bobster. Maybe you can get a quickie in

 

[mackjess]

I've read its anywhere from 12-48 hours after a happy face bobster, so that is good. When DH and I got prego before Finn, I think it was a full 5 days!! We joke that I got knocked up while he was on a business trip. Good luck to you.

Jane, I hope you are managing to get some rest. I'm FINALLY feeling better after a couple rounds of colds myself. Luckily Finn has felt better fast but mine have drug on forever. I sounded very scratchy and got lots of sympathy at work so that was nice.

MLM!! Eek, so close. Is it just me or is it going slower at the end here? haha

 

[mlm115]

Did you get any more bd'ing in bobster? Sounds like your timing was pretty good though, woo! Now for the dreaded tww.

How come your class is just for boys Jane? Do they say we need to communicate differently to boys vs girls? Just curious.

 

[GI_Jane]

Yes that's exactly it Mlm. Their brains respond differently to certain communication/discipline techniques vs girls although she has said some would work with girls too.
They only run a specific parenting boys course because they're more likely to do badly at school, get in to trouble and go to prison etc (joy!).

How you feeling Mlm? Getting nervous or taking it in your stride? Who will have Norah when you go into hospital? Yey a vegetable I recognise

Hope you manage to keep busy during the 2ww bobster, I know you can't stand the not knowing.

 

[bobster]

I got one more bd in yesterday but I'm sure id already O'd so I think I'm relying on the bd from Wednesday and Friday (3 days and 1 day before o). So managed to bd wed, fri & Sunday so every other day. Think o happened on Saturday.

I do hate the wait but I'm going to try my hardest to resist early testing this time as it's so disappointing! Keep me strong!!! I'm not feeling this is my month though. I think I would have been confident if we bd'd on Saturday but nevermind.

Mack glad you are feeling better.
Mlm I think it's gone so fast ! Feels like last week that you got your bfp.
Jane I still need to look up some techniques, jacks been a bit grumpy the last few days but I think it's just because he feels under the weather. Where are you in your cycle?

 

[GI_Jane]

Bobster no reason to think this won't be your month, you stand a great chance even if you didn't dtd the day you actually o'd, I bet most pregnant ladies are never that accurate. And remember it is call the FERTILE WINDOW for a reason, it's not all down to the one day. I am hopeful for you.

I'm cd 7 I think. Still on AF, really dragging out, heavy and painful this cycle.

Pleased you are feeling better mackjess. Crazy that Finn is almost 2!

I was at a playgroup today and there were lots of mums with babes in arms and a toddler. The thing that worries me is Greg is so clingy and doesn't tend to go off and explore unless I'm there- I don't think he'll take too kindly to having a little baby taking up my attention. The toddlers I see are happy to go off and play leaving mum to tend to the baby. Hmmm I don't know what age gap is best anymore...maybe as he gets older he'll want to be more independent.

 

[mlm115]

Jane, that is exactly my fear with Norah. She is the type that clings to me until she warms up to a situation. And she does like to be held/carried a lot. I feel a little bad that I will be taking that away from her when I have a baby to hold. I know she will adjust, but it's still a guilty feeling.

 

[GI_Jane]

Greg likes to be carried a lot too. I don't want to take any feelings of security away from him. It's obviously more of a pressing issue for you right now so will be interested to hear how Norah adapts and any tips you can give when my time comes.

 

[bobster]

I'm sure she'll adapt really soon mlm. A good friend had a baby recently and her 2.5year old is really clingy (I think worse because she never slept through so my friend co-slept until she was about 2 and bf until this age too). We were all anxious to see how she would respond to another baby but she's been absolubtly fine. She once said 'is she going back inside now' lol but that was as bad as it got. I know it's different though as Norah will still be really young but that might work to your advantage in some ways as she may adapt quicker.

Jane jacks been really naughty this morning while we were out doing some shopping. I told him off very very sternly after he hit me in the face but I get so self conscious doing this in public. Where did you find the naughty boys course?? If we're at home I'm ok as I can punish him by putting him in his cot to cry for a bit or just ignore him but when we're out I find it really difficult!!!

In starting to panic about the prospect of another when he's like this!

 

[bobster]

Jacks never been clingy so I feel lucky for that. He likes to walk off a lot though and wriggles a lot when I pick him up unless he's tired or unwell. He's also good with any other people so I could leave him with a friend for an hour and he would be fine. I don't know which is harder as in some instances it would be nice to have him stick close to me at all times as in constantly running after him! He's keeping me fit though

 

[bobster]

Jane is Greg still going to nursery? How is he when he's on his own from you?

You are having a long af! How long are your cycles these days?

 

[GI_Jane]

Thanks bobster that has put my mind at ease about having #2 with a clingy toddler. He is getting better with it, when he does goes off he likes to keep me in sight and doesn't tend to wander far. He is very caring though so I think he would make a great big brother. I don't think I run around after him as much as I've seen other mums do their children (yet!).

The course is through my local childrens' centre, it is officially called 'About Boys Course' and is £20. I would check out your local centres website or email them and ask. They offer lots more courses on sibling rivalry etc.

I so know what you mean about questioning having a second when they are being challenging!

I too find it harder to discipline him in public.
Greg used to hit me and other children a lot and has vastly improved with me doing this course. The course advocates coaching your child how to behave so if gregs hits me or another child, I stroke him gently on his face and body and say 'gentle hands' this way he learns how to touch, other wise he doesn't know what gentle means. Hope that makes sense.
It's also about figuring out why he did the behaviour and acknowledging his feelings and meeting his needs so was he frustrated because he was trying to get your attention etc and then it's about empathising with him and explaining. I hope this helps a bit.
I hope I'm not coming accross like i know it all, I really don't and I'm still learning and it doesn't always work but I find this approach is helping us a lot.

 

[GI_Jane]

You are lucky that you can leave jack with friends bobster. Greg still goes to nursery 2 half days a week but it's taken so long to get him settled. We can't make use of casual baby sitting or crèche because there's no way he'd tolerate that unfortuantly. He's not too bad with grand parents though if he seems them regularly.

Last cycle was 32 days as I o'd earlier but usually it's about 36 days.

You enjoying the heat bobster?

Will you keep Norah in day care with the new baby Mlm or have her home with you during your mat leave?

 

[bobster]

Oh Jane thanks for the tips! You don't seem like a know it all at all. I appreciate any tips at all. I will look into the children's centre and see what they have. I haven't been to the children's centre since my maternity leave so it will be a bit daunting going again.

I'm not doing much today. I contemplated putting jacks paddling pool out but he's been such a monkey today I'm not too sure. He's just gone down for a nap now so I'll see how he is when he wakes up. What are you up to? I feel like I waste my days off sometimes when the weathers nice but none of my friends with babies are closeby or off work on Tuesday's so I never know what to do. Don't want jack to overheat in the sun too!

Your cycles have shortened loads. Do you remember when they were like 50 days? I bet you'll get a BFP in no time.

I'm symptom spotting already and it's only 3dpo (oh dear!)

 

[bobster]

Have you been running since the race? My diet and exercise have really slacked off!

 

[GI_Jane]

How is the symptom spotting going bobster? Are you 5dpo?

It's been almost 3 weeks since the race and haven't run again since! My shins were in a bad way and they are feeling lots better with the rest but now it's too hot. I have been going Zumba while Greg and DH swim.

 

[bobster]

Oh that sound good Jane. I tried Zumba once but couldn't keep up as I have no co-ordination at all and 2 left feet! How often do you take greg swimming?

Yes 5dpo today. Got a scratchy throat and feeling a bit nauseous but that started yesterday so I think I'm just coming down with what Jack hac. Had a bit of pinching pain on the right side earlier but nothing now. Realistically I know it's too early for any symptoms but it's hard not to overthink twinges

 

[GI_Jane]

I must say I'm totally crap at Zumba, I seriously can't dance and it doesn't come easy following the moves!

Fingers crossed for you bobster

 

[GI_Jane]

Have a wonderful, fun filled July 4th weekend Mlm and mackjess