Multiple IVF failures...what now?

[oneof14]

L4, I am so sorry! Rant, Cry, Scream, Cuse and you want. Truth of the matter is, infertility sux...big time!

The emtional and finacial toll is hard on us as well, especially when you are spending the money and dont get the outcome you wish! Babies and TTC are constantly on my mind and I want so much to think about something else, but its so hard. I agree with you with not being able to work out 1/2 the time, its so frustrating.

Hopefully this will be our lucky thread!!

 

[Nayla82]

Sorry for all the women in here

In regards to Immunes, I have had the Natural Killer Biopsy (clear) Uterus hysterscopy (clear) Cervix Biopsy all clear, and over 30 other blood tests (I dont have my notes on me) Again All clear.. and a huge lot of money!

we are a TOTAL MYSTERY and after the 3rd failed IVF the doctor said i am really at lost with your case???? Maybe trying a new clinic witha new lab and new eye is what you need?? (I mean when you have been with a dr for such a long time and to hear her say try elsewhere as she CAN NOT think or do anything differently?? really did make me think shit! this is serious and will never happen )

Last week we did the last and final immune testing the HLA TYPING CHICAGO test, it cost so much money just for a blood test! they will send our blood to Chicago to rule out that our blood and immunes are not too similar?? he said it is RARE but it does happen two people can have very similar immunes and blood and from tests they can look like their related?? he said NOT to worry if there is similarities (Ohh i hope to god there isnt!) they can wash the embryos and eliminate anything that causes implantation failure??

He said on paper as a couple you both are very simple case (yeah right why did 3 cycles failed! ) he said its just a sperm issue and that can be fixed... he said MAYBE my body is not allowing the embryos to implant as it looks to similar to my own body and just attacks it?? i said my NK CELLS are clear, he said even so.....

its all so confusing... but i do not know if i will continue with the doctor i may just get the test than leave as he really wants me to do ZIFT and not open for anything?? I guess i will collect the results in a few weeks than get another oppinion. I just feel NO doctor takes me seriously...

what hurts me the most is that many people get to have a baby for free and just DO NOT REALISE how blessed they are, and i just feel why oh why kind loving women get told they need IVF than it bloody fails!! wheres the justice in that!!

With alot of prayers lets make 2013 OUR year.. Shit been saying that every year for a while now!

We just need to keep on going.. Celine Dion 6th IVF twin boys! i am sure she never felt the financial pinch

 

[L4hope]

L4, I am so sorry! Rant, Cry, Scream, Cuse and you want. Truth of the matter is, infertility sux...big time!

The emtional and finacial toll is hard on us as well, especially when you are spending the money and dont get the outcome you wish! Babies and TTC are constantly on my mind and I want so much to think about something else, but its so hard. I agree with you with not being able to work out 1/2 the time, its so frustrating.

Hopefully this will be our lucky thread!!

Yes it really does Blow!! I think we all prob have a hard time not thinking about babies and ttc. If i wasn't spending all my money on it I would be on an island somewhere drinking my troubles away! But we have to keep the faith. So let this be our lucky thread and 2013 be our magic year!!!

 

[septbride]

Nayla, it sounds like you're exploring all the possible testing options, which is good. I hope they can get to the bottom of this for you soon.

Oneof and L4, it does hurt your self-esteem and body image on top of everything else. I found an article on the Resolve site that says women dealing with infertility are at risk for ALL of the life events that can cause depression. Ugh. It is actually a good article for friends and family...I sent it to my girlfriends so they can have some clue what I'm going through. Here's the link if you're interested: https://familybuilding.resolve.org/site/DocServer/06_Family_and_Friends.pdf?docID=5702

Whatthe, thanks! I left a voicemail for the Mass General scheduling person.

Hang in there, ladies. I hope the holidays bring us some much-needed peace.

xoxo

 

[Nayla82]

Thanks Hun I truly hope so... At the start of the whole IVF journey i was like bring it on i will do 10 IVFS if i have to!! I will keep going and going till its a yes... I WAS SO NAIVE

My lord its really consumed my life and stolen my old personality.. I was the heart and soul of parties always out for a laugh, and now its work home googling IVF and thats pretty much my life at the moment..

I KNOW I am depressed and truly have lost the will to do anything... but i REFUSE to let the doctor give me medication as i want to keep my body drug free.. It has to be the hardest journey a female has to go through.. i guess NO ONE gets in unless they have lived it...

I really really pray that we all get blessed soon and my advice is just keep getting as much tests as you can in... as you dont want another failed cycle than the doctor says 'ok we will test you for this and that' better get it all out of the way now...

any other ladies sick of swallowing all those vitamins a night?? and avoiding a fizzy drink.. its like i have been living like this forever and nothing to show for it????

There are times when i feel i am the ONLY one in the world going through this damn journey.. and its heartbreaking to know theres so many other broken hearts.... lets be strong and push each other to get that BFP

that article is excellent and really does it the nail on the head, i can relate to EVERY POINT and i started crying reading it, the bit that is so true to me that being a mom is part of life and its EXPECTED.. you found the love of your life and you want to make a baby.. and when you see other women pregnant it makes ME think I have a womb! I have a period! i am a WOMEN! why is it working for her and not for me?? and i tend to think am i a freak!!??

My husband always tries to reassure me and says 'your fit and healthy it isnt you its me' yet but why have 3 ivfs failed?? now it has to me??? i guess i can fry my brains all day thinking what it maybe be? but i guess its the Lords plan and he blesses whom he wills, so i wait patiently for my blessings...

 

[L4hope]

Nayla this journey is not for the feint of heart that's for sure! I too thought, whatever it takes however many cycles. But after each failed IVF it feels like your heart breaks a little more and you lose a little more of that happy fun loving person you used to be. But I truly believe we just have to keep persevering and we will get our babies. At some point we have to just have that perfect protocol and timing to get it right. We can do this ladies!

Thanks for sharing the article Sept, I will check it out now.

 

[oneof14]

Nayla/L4 I 100% agree I too used to be so positive and was life of the party, so not the case after every failed IVF I get more and more negative and recluse. My DH told me today his heart breaks to see me depressed everyday. I feel so sad he feels that way and I try so hard to feel positive for him because honestly without him, I would be lost and he is the only thing that keeps me going!

 

[L4hope]

Absolutely! So thankful to have a loving and supportive husband to keep me going. I worry still sometimes because I don't want this to hurt our marriage. Thankfully we talk very openly with each other and typically he holds me up when I need it and vice versa. Thank god for good husbands!

 

[L4hope]

Hey ladies, I've just been thinking about all of us and our upcoming holiday events starting in about an hour for me and I'm sure thus weekend for you all as well. Just wanted to say I hope you all can find moments if joy this Christmas and manage to make it through the family visits without any break downs. That's my goal/hope at least and I wish the same for you! (we'll see if I can actually manage it though!)

 

[MoBaby]

Hey Ladies just wanted to join, I have had multiple failed transfers as well. 3 IVF/ICSI cycles and 1 FET. 2nd cycle was bfp but mmc at 7weeks. My FET was successful and I had strong betas and I went for a few ultrasounds due to spotting/bleeding and everything was fine. In fact, the spotting had pretty much stopped and my vialility scan was dec 19th and everything was great. Perfect baby. I had a feeling Dec 20 and went for another scan and the baby no longer had a heartbeat. We are devastated and dont know where to go from here or what to do. Our only 2 BFPs both ended in miscarriage. Dr doesnt know what happened. I am waiting to miscarry and may go for d/c on dec 31st if I dont pass anything this week. When I have my follow-up appt I am going to ask to be checked for anything and everything that could possibly cause me to miscarry. I just dont understand why we have to go through so much ladies when there are so many girls that get knocked up on accident and why there are so many women at the abortion clinic wanting to discard their babies. I just dont understand. Life is so unfair. All women should get to experience pregnancy and child birth.

 

[oneof14]

Hey Mo, I know you from other threads. I am so so extremely sorry you are going through this, it awful. There are no words I can say to make you feel better. There are never really any answers for a miscarriage and it suxs. to you,

 

[Nayla82]

Mobaby very sorry to hear about your loss, i pray you find the strength to move forward and make 2013 ours x

 

[septbride]

MoBaby, I'm terribly sorry to hear about this. I had seen you on other threads and knew you had got your BFP. Please stay strong; it is so cruel and unfair. We are here for you.

L4, thanks for your note about getting through the holidays...it is a tough time, to be sure! I wish the same to you ladies -- that we can forget about the TTC rollercoaster for a little bit and enjoy the love in our lives. Thinking of you all!

 

[whattheiveff]

MoBaby - I'm so, so sorry. You've been through more than anyone should ever have to deal with. Life is so effing unfair. You're in my thoughts.

Just wanted to echo what Sept and L4 said, I hope you all have a peaceful holiday, here's hoping to 2013 babies!

 

[Nayla82]

Merry Xmas everyone lets try and enjoy the holidays and make 2013ours xxxxxxx

 

[oneof14]

Merry Chrismas ladies, here's to a great 2013!!

 

[L4hope]

Merry Christmas girls!

 

[Lucie73821]

Well I'm sad to say I'm joining you all. AF came today 8dp5dt. . This was our second attempt at ivf. It was with a new dr. and seemed to go much better than attempt #1. This bfn seems harder to deal with than the first. I'm looking for some support to get through this difficult time.

 

[whattheiveff]

Lucie - Welcome, although I know this is not the place you want to be. I'm so sorry to hear this cycle didn't work out for you. I agree...I've had a LOT harder time dealing with a second failure than I did with the first. It looks like you have some nice frosties though which is a huge plus (I know it doesn't feel like it right now). When is your WTF?

 

[Lucie73821]

Thanks for the welcome what. Not sure when the WTF will be. My clinic still wants me to go for my beta tomorrow. When they call with the results, I will try to see if they can schedule the WTF apt for sometime next week, while we are still on break from school (dh and I are both teachers).