Need daily support buddies!

[heychrissie]

Good luck!x

 

[cdelmar]

Mrs. R: Girl, on month 7 and it does feel like forever!! I may go end of 9th cycle to see someone if i am unsuccessful

Khatif: epo is evening primrose oil (capsules) that some women take (2000mg) from AF to O (not after!)...it's supposed to help with cm.

Loobs: that would be great if next month is your month!

WritingsLove: Welcome to our group, im new here but, this is a great group to be in!

 

[Khatif]

Good morning ladies,

Look at this one. I still do opk's every second day to see if O is coming later.
Well my opk were totally white in the last 10 days and now I have a line It is a faints line but it may mean my body will try ovulate again. No any other sign though my cm is still creamy not watery at all, but hey

 

[cdelmar]

Khatif, yea not sure what is going on, ) could be happening since you didnt get a temp spike yet. Did any stressful thing happen around (before or during) the time you got your + this cycle? Could be it finally trying to rev up because your chart is totally different this cycle????

 

[Khatif]

Khatif, yea not sure what is going on, ) could be happening since you didnt get a temp spike yet. Did any stressful thing happen around (before or during) the time you got your + this cycle? Could be it finally trying to rev up because your chart is totally different this cycle????

Nothing stressful as far as I remember. So I cannot even say that. I also was not sick. I really don't know why my chart is so weird this month but I think I will see how it will be next month.
I mean in the last 4 days my temp is higher a little bit and I still have no clue why. The only thing is different that I go to sleep a little bit earlier and I am having dreams. I hope AF is not coming to late.

I start to feel like it is a mystery . Who is the murderer?

 

[Mrs Reineke]

Thank you ladies for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. I'm almost done with my AF, just some light spotting today. Figured we'll BD from CD 10 to CD 16 which covers the window for me. Going to do the every other day thing again. So CD 10, 12, 14 and 16. Maybe even CD 18. We'll see how it goes. My AF is completely different than it was the entire 17 years I had it before my mc, now it starts differently, looks different and ends different. Very annoying to be so completely knowledgeble of my cycle forever and now I feel like I am learning about my AF all over again at almost 31!! But I have no control over that and I'm trying to stay postive. It's a bit tough.

writingislove what part of Idaho are you from if you don't mind me asking???

MMMMinnie it is concerning that you even mention suicide. You NEED to speak to someone regarding this or talk to your doctor. Please do that, suicide is NOT the way out of this. Please PM me if you would like. I would love to help in any way I can. I have known 2 girlfriends that contemplated it and it terrifies me that you have thought about it.

 

[Khatif]

MMMMinni, oh sorry for not replying.

I cannot even imagine how it can be for you. So longs years waiting for your own child ....
Who are the other you raised up and you mention in your post?

I think you should visit a professional and ask some help. Like you said your emotional health is something to worry about. I am sure that after so long years there are enough pain, anger, hurt, disappointment you have to deal with and you may not able to that alone by yourself anymore.

 

[Khatif]

Welcome Writingislove.

I hope you don't have to wait to long for your BFP.
What CD are you now at?

 

[writingislove]

I can completely relate on the "relearning" my AF thing, I'm 29 and about six months ago it completely changed from how it had been my entire life. Ugh...

Mrs. R - I'm in Boise. What about you? If you're comfortable saying.

Khatif, right now I'm on CD 4 and impatiently waiting for AF to fade away into the background for attempt #2...

 

[cdelmar]

Wow, Minnie, dont even know what to say but, we are listening and are here if you need us

Khatif did you test again today, did it get any darker?

 

[Mrs Reineke]

I'm in Lewiston writingislove!!!! We're literally like 5 hours or so away from eachother!!! How funny!! Small world!! I've been to Boise before a few times. My husband and I even went to the zoo there once!! LOL!!

 

[writingislove]

My mom goes to Lewiston all the time for work, but strangely I've never been there! Do you like it? Since I'm possibly the closest one to you on this board I'm sending extra doses of positive vibes your way...maybe they'll get there over the short distance, lol!

 

[Khatif]

Wow, Minnie, dont even know what to say but, we are listening and are here if you need us

Khatif did you test again today, did it get any darker?

Nope, there is a line but it is not getting any darker :S

 

[wantbabynow]

Hey, I am sitting at my desk at work trying to not cry for your situation. I've been trying for about a year since my miscarriage and no luck. I am fully with you about law of attraction - I believe in positive affirmations too. Sometimes it can feel like if you believe you are preg you are building yourself up to fall right? Every time my period comes I cry, I can't work, I drink too much, I fight with my husband and I know it sounds stupid but I also feel life is not worth living. I am sure you know about "not trying" and "not stressing". These things do not work for me. The one piece of advise that has made a big difference to the way I see things is you can't control this, stress will not help, thinking of it constantly wont help, crying wont help; try your best to not think of it. I have found re-discovering the way I was when I was younger helps - the old me before ttc. If it is true what will be will be then what use is it being miserable; life is today and now; whether we have babies or not WE are gods creations and deserve happiness - you've a lot of love to give; try some charity work - I have just started this too - it seriously makes you feel good about your existence. Please feel free to private message me my dear xxxx

 

[Buttercup77]

Hi MMMMinnie,
Welcome!! Please know that you are not alone!! I've desired to have a family for many years and ttc has been one of the hardest things I've faced. I gave up for a while and recently decided to try again and not give up. Over the past 10 years I've had some of the same thoughts as you but I went to counseling and it helped. I still have my low days but somehow I get through them!

Whenever you start having unhealthy thoughts, please feel free to PM me. You have joined a wonderful group with nice people going through the same things. Stay positive and I truly wish you the best of luck. xo

Hello,

I am on my day nine and I had an appointment this morning. I did an ultrasound to count follicles and a blood draw to check my levels. Well my follicles are at 8,9,11,16,& 17 so two promising ones and my levels are right on track. Well I was instructed to continue my gonal injections at 112.5 and administer the trigger shot tomorrow night so that I can do my sixth IUI on Wednesday.

I am feeling hopeful but I have felt hopeful for the past nine years of trying with only failure to come to me. I do everything right leading up to ovulation and then the two weeks after... and when I start to feel something that could be either my period or a baby I start to stress and force myself to believe that its a child. I believe in law of attraction- which is believing something so much that it comes to you. Well I think because I truly believe that I am pregnant so intensely that when I get a negative I completely break. I break to the point where I feel like such a failure as a woman and wife that I even visit the idea of suicide. I don't want to worry anyone so I will not discuss that any further. I will however discuss the fact that I am starting to worry about my emotional health. This is such an emotional situation but when I think about maybe discussing it with others I don't. I just cant have this conversation with someone who has children and never ever had to wish for them or even try for them. Its been my entire adult life that I have been trying to get pregnant, even before I was married I was trying. I mean I did everything from standing on my head to taking meds and nothing up to this point has worked. My dream as a child wasn't to become some rich or famous person but to be a mother. How can this dream be so hard to reach? What did I do so wrong in my life that God will not allow me to have my own children? I have already raised five and I have proven that I will be an amazing mother so when will I get my chance? When?

Please send me baby dust and positives especially on Wednesday Aug 27, 2014 @0915. I really don't mean to sound depressed.

 

[Mrs Reineke]

What does your mom do for work writingislove? I love Lewiston. It's beautiful here!! Boise is beautiful too. Yes, my baby dust sent to you should get there quickly!! Hahahaha!!!

 

[Loobs]

Hi ladies - just been catching up on you all.

Khatif -I'm keeping my fingers crossed that O is coming for you, that OPK looked promising!

MrsR - sorry the witch is a bit different since your MC. I had a MC 7 years ago, at 9 weeks and my cycle hasn't been the same either. We weren't trying then so I can only imagine your frustration and upset. The witch is so cruel! I hope this cycle is better for you, and I hope things settle back to how they were before.

Minnie - Please speak to a professional about how you've been feeling. Your feelings are totally understandable and I'm sure you will be offered counselling to help through your IUIs

AFM, 6DPO. Light spotting today, so she's on her way out! Woop!

x

 

[Mrs Reineke]

Loobs you and I are pretty close in our cycles. I'm on CD 7 if you count from when my AF actually started flowing, but 9 if you count the 2 days I spotted prior to it officially kicking in. Checked my CP/CM this morning for the first time since my AF ended and it is like medium in height and medium in how firm it is. It's a bit softer than I was expecting, but feels pretty closed right now. My CM was kind of sticky/chunky, sorry that's TMI. I've had a rough few days too. For the past month my doctor has had me slowly tamper off a medication I've been on forever because it's not the best to take during pregnancy and I haven't had any since Friday, so I'm not feeling real wonderful. I took it for anxiety, so coming off of it, even though I did it over a 4 week period I've had some pretty good anxiety for the past 5 days or so. Don't know if it's partically in my head because of the fact I'm worried that I'll get anxiety coming off of it or not. He's keeping me on another one I've also taken forever that is not as strong and is completely safe during pregnancy, but he doubled my dose with that one and is hoping just that one medication will work for me. But he said it can take up to 4 weeks for my body to adjust from coming off the one and adjusting my other one. That blows!! He gave me a tempory one that I can take if I start to feel my anxiety getting bad, but I can't use that one during pregnancy and he said he thinks it would be best if I didn't take any during my week period that I could ovulate, so now I'm trying my hardest to NOT take any of it because I don't want to do anything to mess up getting pregnant or my baby if I do get pregnant. This is a lot of information that I haven't ever mentioned, but I need to get it off my chest because it helps to talk about it. Plus lets you ladies know that some of the things you deal with aren't uncommon. I was diagnosed when I was 12 years old with generalized anxiety disorder. It's a genetic thing. My mom had it and my sister does too. I get normal anxiety just like anyone else, but if I do not take my medication to help me, I will get really bad anxiety for absolutely no reason. The best way I can describe the feeling is when someone or something scares the crap out of you and you get that scared pained feeling inside your body, but then it goes away. Well mine lingers and makes me nauseous at times, sometimes a bit dizzy or lightheaded. It's not a fun thing, but if I was having one you wouldn't even know. I've learned as I've gotten older that no matter how horrible of a feeling it is, that no one has ever died from having an anxiety attack. It may feel like you're going to have a heart attack at times, but you're not. My medication has always worked and I haven't had any anxiety for a LONG time. But now getting off this one medication it's been constant the past 5 days. It's at it's worse in the mornings and then as the day goes it gets a bit better. It's exhausting really. I took a pill each day to help on Sunday and Monday and then yesterday I took 1/2 of one and then this morning I took 1/2 of one. A full pill makes it go away, a half pill takes the edge off. I just DON'T want to have to use those as my body adjusts because they're not safe to take during pregnancy. But I figured if I needed them this week, then I'll take them, but we're going to start ttc again starting this Saturday. So I won't be taking any all of next week which worries me because I'm hoping my anxiety will chill out a bit by then. We'll see. So...I didn't plan on going off about that, but I guess I really needed to write it all out?? Plus yesterday one of my dogs had to have an unexpected surgery to remove a really bad abscessed tooth. He's 8 years old and I guess that can happen as they age. But he literally was fine and then yesterday morning I woke up and he had a golf ball sized knot under his right eye. It freaked me out, so I took him to the vet and it hurt him so much they had to sedate him to look at it. That's when they discovered one of his top back teeth needed to be surgically removed. My two dogs are my babies and I was a stressed out mom of course. Well that didn't help with my anxiety at all! LOL!! Long story short after a VERY stressful day of back and fourth from the vet he had the surgery and is feeling MUCH better this morning. His poor face is still all swollen, but they said that is normal and it will go down in a few days. So more or less my week has sucked and it's only Wednesday. Ok...I'm done complaining. I needed to do that though. LOL!! Sorry you ladies are the ones it came out to.

 

[writingislove]

Mrs R, my mom is a State surveyor for nursing homes, kind of like an inspector. She goes to Lewiston quite often and she loves it there.

I do know how it is with the whole anxiety thing. I'm currently on a really low dose of Celexa and my doctor felt better keeping me on it because too much anxiety could stress out the fetus once I'm pregnant. It still worries me though, I don't know which would be worse!

Sigh...I'm on CD 6 and still not done with AF. Usually only lasts about 4 days. It's like my body is trying to keep me in suspense and make me more impatient!

 

[cdelmar]

Mrs. R I havent been diagnosed with anxiety and never really experienced it much but i can tell you since Ive been ttc i have had spurts of it and it definitely feels how you describe (feeling a little right now as i type lol smh). My last two cycles have been longer than usual and I am sure the anxiety i experienced delayed my O days . I usually get a smiley with the CB opks on CD10 and im on CD 11 and still nothing but, Wondfo are getting darker little by little

Question to all, since im new to using them this cycle, with the Wondfo's, will they show a faint line still after O? Has anyone continued testing after they received a positive opk or after O? I havent Oed yet, just curious...