I'm doing fairly good. Just got back home last Saturday evening after being on vacation for a month, workcation for DH, and schoolcation for the girls (we homeschool). So, I hadn't been posting recently. Right before we left, we got some bad news. June 3, we went into the RE office and they did an HSG for me, and a SA for DH. The HSG came back with everything looking perfect. A few days later we got the SA results back. They gave us numbers or percentage for 5 different things they looked for. All five came back below what they wanted to see things at.
They said it's ok to have one area below slightly, but that everything being below wasn't too good. They want him to do another SA, but haven't yet because we left a few days after getting the results.
We still kept trying despite the results, with the understanding that it'll be a long shot knowing about his boys, plus the fact that nothing has been happening after almost a year. So, the past two cycles I didn't get looney at all during the 2ww since I totally expected af to show up, which she did last cycle, still waiting on this cycle, but wasn't looney. . . . .until today.
At 8 dpo, which was Saturday, I had pink spotting in the am, and brown spotting in the early afternoon. I thought af was coming a couple days earlier than my usual 10 or 11 dpo, so I put a pad on waiting for her to come on full force at any given moment in the next day. She never came.
Since we were away from home, I took my progesterone that doesn't need to be refrigerated along with me so I didn't have to worry about keeping it cold. This progesterone works, it's what kept me pg with 2 and 3, it just doesn't keep af away when not pg like the refrigerated suppositories. When I use this one, and I'm not pg, I still get af by 11 dpo. Today is 11 dpo, and no sign of Ms. Witch. This am I started to wonder if maybe the spotting I saw on Saturday was IB. Trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but as the day went on, the longer I go with af being a no show, the loonier I get. Not sure if I really am pg, or if my body is playing a cruel joke on me by waiting until 12 dpo or after to show. I decided this afternoon that if she isn't here by the am, I'll test with fmu. I'm just so scared to see another bfn staring back at me, then af show hours later. But, seems pretty promising so far, I'm just afraid of being crushed since in reality, the odds are against us conceiving without help. If I'm pg, it'll be a huge miracle. Had I not had spotting at 8 dpo, and af came today on schedule, I would have been fine since that's what I expected. But those events gave me a little hope that I'm afraid of being crushed, and I'll be crying tomorrow instead of being fine knowing that was the likely outcome. Every time I went to the bathroom today, my hope level got higher each time, the higher it gets the greater the potential crash.
Oh, and I O'ed on July 4th of all days.
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Well I'm having another boy haha.
going to do lots of walking tonight as we have a huge celebration downtown for Canada Day and then fireworks!
How exciting for both of you. 
once again. 
