OBEM - upsetting content this week.

[sparkle_1979]

I just know that when I was pregnant I was so scared of losing my baby, seeing a still birth would have scared me more.

When I lost my first baby I was devastated and completely shocked that this happend to me, my third I was prepared but no less upset just because I was aware it could happen.

I think that pregnant women dont really need to be aware of it so much, as Im sure that the ladies who have been through it would be no less devastated had they have been aware of the worst thing that can happen x

 

[bubbles]

I think it OBEM would be a perfect platform to show a still birth and raise awareness. The problem with just having a documentary is it'd be a one off thing thats forgotten about in a week by your average joe, OBEM has a huge huge profile and the births are talked about for weeks or even months by young/old/male/female.
It is a programme about birth, just because a baby is born with no heartbeat doesn't make its birth or the mothers experience any less valid than that of a live birth

 

[fidgets mammy]

I also got that book with my son.

And I have to say the end of yr comment indy and lars has quite annoyed and upset me, I feel like yr basically sayong that because a preg is high risk its not as important. It may not be how it was meant but on reading that being someone who has gone through what i have already said, im offended. I am frightened every day to what Will happen to these babies and would be utterly devasted if i lost either of them. Like I said losing a child at any stage is devastating and feelings should be respected.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I just think child birth is genral is a touchy subject. there will always be someone who wont agree with how you did it or the methods you chose. They dont show what happens if you do have a very poorly child at birth, or in the womb and the trials and tribulations that go with maybe having to terminate. They happen to.

Me like alot of others was very high risk, i didnt just carry a high mc rate, but i then carried a chance of deformities, then when she didnt have that, i run the risk of a stillbirth. Im just so grateful and thankful to whoever was looking down on us that my little girl came out perfect.

Please dont all get upset at eachother over something that scares us all. some of us may never experiance that pain, or some might but never share.

 

[Tasha]

I just know that when I was pregnant I was so scared of losing my baby, seeing a still birth would have scared me more.

When I lost my first baby I was devastated and completely shocked that this happend to me, my third I was prepared but no less upset just because I was aware it could happen.

I think that pregnant women dont really need to be aware of it so much, as Im sure that the ladies who have been through it would be no less devastated had they have been aware of the worst thing that can happen x

You only need to go on the OBEM status on fb to see how many women didnt know about stillbirths to know pregnant women DO need to be more aware. And whilst they of course wouldnt be less devestated they could watch out for signs or feel less alone if it does happen to them.

Fidget, Indy was saying that so many of people with stillborn babies and neonatal loses are low risk, and so there for are never informed of stillbirths. Not that high risk dont matter.

You said that some people can not handle seeing these things and that should be respected just as much as the fact it needs to be made more aware, but no one would be making anyone watch it, so that would be respected. How can we raise awareness if main stream programmes wont cover it?

 

[fidgets mammy]

I'm with you there tracey

 

[fidgets mammy]

I've also just read yr signature tracey, so sorry for yr losses,

 

[fidgets mammy]

Sorry not tracey tasha, this bloody phone

 

[indy and lara]

Why does it have to be on a tv show to make people aware of it? I think thete are better ways of dealing wirh it. I am carrying high risk twins and am fully aware that things can go wrong at any minute, i also suffered a miscarraige at twelve weeks and had to pass the baby myself, and i had a crash section with my son because his heart rate completely went. All these were and are very scary. I've only recently gotten over my sons birth and I certainly would not want to watch a programme where a lady had to pass a deceased baby at any stage. But that's me, and I'm sure there are others like me.

Yes it should be made more aware but in the right way. This thread is turning heated when it has no need to, everybody handles grief differently and the loss pf a baby is extremely sensitive.

Honestly Fidget's Mammy I am not sure what will work. What is the right way? Pregnancy books have very little information about babyloss, health professionals are often ill informed, shows like This Morning ignore Babyloss Awareness Week every year. I could go on. When your pg is high risk you are more aware of the risks but most people who have a stillbirth or who experience neo-natal loss are not high risk so have very little idea.

No but my son wasnt high risk and they feared is i could lose him. And just because yr aware yr pregnancy is high risk doesnt make it any easier should anything happen to either one or both babies. My point is whether it shoyld be made more awarw or not, some people can not handle seeing these things. And tgat should be respected just as much as the fact it needs to be made more aware.

Like i said everyone feels different but there are some veeu strong opinions on here that could easily upset.

I'm not sure that we are not talking at cross purposes? Our son wasn't high risk at all but he died. Em was high risk and we had a few scares. I am not suggesting AT ALL that it is easier when you are high risk. I am saying that when you are high risk you tend to have more idea/ understanding of the fact that pregnancies can end badly even at late stages.

As I have said a lot of times of before on this thread, if something comes on TV that you don't want to watch then you can turn off. No-one is forced to watch anything on TV.

 

[Tasha]

Also OBEM has done the poorly babies, triplets who were in NICU, a baby born with its bowel on the outside and so on x

 

[fidgets mammy]

They've not onxe mentioned still birth to me yet im high risk. They have mentioned, miscarraige, abnormalities, very early birth, tts, so like I've said it does made to be more awre.
I just dont think its fair that the poster of this thread has had a bashing all because she wanted to inform people that it may have upsetting nature.

 

[indy and lara]

I also got that book with my son.

And I have to say the end of yr comment indy and lars has quite annoyed and upset me, I feel like yr basically sayong that because a preg is high risk its not as important. It may not be how it was meant but on reading that being someone who has gone through what i have already said, im offended. I am frightened every day to what Will happen to these babies and would be utterly devasted if i lost either of them. Like I said losing a child at any stage is devastating and feelings should be respected.

Erm, not what I said. My son died. Why would I ever think that a baby is less important? I said that when you are high risk you have more understanding of the risks in pregnancy- you see consultants, have more care etc and the risks are in your face everyday. When your pregnancy os not HR you don't generally even see a consultant. I have had both a HR and non- HR pregnancy and was highlighting the differences.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i was gunna say i didnt write mine in my signature lol

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Also OBEM has done the poorly babies, triplets who were in NICU, a baby born with its bowel on the outside and so on x

did they? sorry i must have missed that episode

 

[sparkle_1979]

I just know that when I was pregnant I was so scared of losing my baby, seeing a still birth would have scared me more.

When I lost my first baby I was devastated and completely shocked that this happend to me, my third I was prepared but no less upset just because I was aware it could happen.

I think that pregnant women dont really need to be aware of it so much, as Im sure that the ladies who have been through it would be no less devastated had they have been aware of the worst thing that can happen x

You only need to go on the OBEM status on fb to see how many women didnt know about stillbirths to know pregnant women DO need to be more aware. And whilst they of course wouldnt be less devestated they could watch out for signs or feel less alone if it does happen to them.

Fidget, Indy was saying that so many of people with stillborn babies and neonatal loses are low risk, and so there for are never informed of stillbirths. Not that high risk dont matter.

You said that some people can not handle seeing these things and that should be respected just as much as the fact it needs to be made more aware, but no one would be making anyone watch it, so that would be respected. How can we raise awareness if main stream programmes wont cover it?

but surely its not TVs job to make us aware of any signs we need to look out for, that is what we see a midwife for?

 

[smokey]

Maybe then a completly new peograme needs to be made thats does show all aspects of birth from normal delivery to still births and shows all the real ups and downs and reality of it all, a show that can show it with the respect it deserves and not in a voyarism type way, obem just isnt the show for it.

Sadly though there will always be more people that dont want to see a show like that then do and at the end of the day tv is a business and they will always go with the masses thst gets them less grief.
Is that right? No but its the way it is due to natural human emotion

 

[aliss]

I think we all know that people don't want to be bothered with what they call "horror stories", sad but true. How many times do women post threads about not wanting to read "sad horror stories" because they feel safer without knowing. Or worse, like to read the still birth forum while feeling kicks because they feel better knowing those things aren't happening to them.

I think people kid themselves if they think it's not taboo or treated like a dirty little secret

 

[smokey]

They've not onxe mentioned still birth to me yet im high risk. They have mentioned, miscarraige, abnormalities, very early birth, tts, so like I've said it does made to be more awre.
I just dont think its fair that the poster of this thread has had a bashing all because she wanted to inform people that it may have upsetting nature.

I dont think (or at least I hope not) anyone was bashing the op, its just the way the thread turned with one poster to anouther which I can understand with such an emotional subject

 

[Tasha]

Yeah the bowel one was series one Tracie, not sure about the triplets, cant remember.

sparkle, it isnt up to a television show but midwives arent getting the risks across, like I said you only have to look around to find that so many people dont. When we have one of the worst stillbirth rates in the developed world, to me that shows there isnt enough awareness and something needs to be doe about that. But again no one would be forced to watch. And that would be a tiny part of the reason to have a baby born sleeping on there.

 

[fidgets mammy]

I think alot of people watch obem to give them hope that yes pregnancy may bring problems but not all pregnancies end sad and it gives mothers hope. There are loads of people on this forum who get excited to watch it for that reason. And if u had no idea a baby would die at the end you woyldnt know to turn it off. The one with the baby with the bowel on the outside was a few series ago, he was beutiful. I thinl he was called jack and his parents lisa and will. He was fine, they done surgery on him. It was very moving seeing him like that and it was done sensitively.

I personally am a right soft ass amd even cant watch nature programmes as i don't Luke to see the lion kulling the gazelle.

I always cry at obem.