OBEM - upsetting content this week.

[Tasha]

I dont think (or at least I hope not) anyone was bashing the op, its just the way the thread turned with one poster to anouther which I can understand with such an emotional subject

Agreed, I dont think anything has been directed at the OP but just in general. Certainly nothing that i wrote

 

[smokey]

Did anyone see what happened to the baby born with her bowels on the outside?
The last I saw was her going off for a op then they never realy mentioned her again.
I think that was the week I had lo though so I might have just missed it

 

[smokey]

Just a thought, do you think the health proffesion has the view of still births of "well if its going to happen no amount of awarness is going to change it" (im not refering to known high risks) so because of this they dont bother discussing it much because they dont want to worry the mother when it probably wont even happen.
Maybe they have the view of no amount of hinsight is going to stop it and sadly it wont.
I think alot needs to be done in term of aftercare, help the family come to terms, support groups, possible depression even coping with a ralationship breakdown after and where to go from here sort of thing.
No amount of knowledge of facts is going to change the outcome but how your taken care of after can make a world of differance

 

[fidgets mammy]

That's a good point about the after care, it is very "there there off you go, right next!!"
Which is wrong. I found aftwr my section that there was nothing, no explanation, no care no counselling, just well these things happen. It's very hard as it may happen but not to you. After care definaty needs to be looked at.

 

[aliss]

I do think more knowledge would help.

I can't remember how many times I've seen women post on 2nd & 3rd tri that they've been having gushes of blood and "what should I do....?" Should I go see the doctor?? Some doctors don't even discuss the possibility of bleeding in 2nd & 3rd tri..... Sounds insane to those of us on BnB "in the know" but it's true.

Placental abruption is one of the major reasons for still birth, how many times have I seen girls here post about issues that are major red flags for that but don't realize it?

Or, "my baby hasn't kicked today, do you think it means labour is coming soon???"

Of course, in the vast majority of cases, it's ok. But it only takes one girl to not realize her body screaming at her.

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

Unfortunately I didn't know much about still birth until my friend sadly lost her son at 36 weeks. Before then, to me, still birth wasn't really a reality if that makes sense. I didn't realise how common these tragedies were. So I do think OBEM is a good platform to raise awareness really because, yes it is upsetting of course, but with the right kind of coverage it could be very beneficial. I don't watch OBEM and see it as an entertainment programmm, to me it's a documentary, portraying real-life situations. Heartbreaking still birth happens in real life. I agree with a pp that if this is going to be solely covered with a programme just about stillbirth and neonatal loss then it would likely be mostly people that have suffered a loss already and not pregnant ladies like myself the first time round who have little awareness.

 

[blueskai]

The little baby with the bowel outside her body, the doc went into the room where everyone was waiting and told them that it had all gone smoothly, better than expected, then the mother was able to go and hold they baby.

xo

 

[smokey]

I do think more knowledge would help.

I can't remember how many times I've seen women post on 2nd & 3rd tri that they've been having gushes of blood and "what should I do....?" Should I go see the doctor?? Some doctors don't even discuss the possibility of bleeding in 2nd & 3rd tri..... Sounds insane to those of us on BnB "in the know" but it's true.

Placental abruption is one of the major reasons for still birth, how many times have I seen girls here post about issues that are major red flags for that but don't realize it?

Or, "my baby hasn't kicked today, do you think it means labour is coming soon???"

Of course, in the vast majority of cases, it's ok. But it only takes one girl to not realize her body screaming at her.

Maybe I was just lucky in the mw I had but every single one of them at every single appointment talked to me about what to do if you dont feel kicking for a while or experiance bleeding, the advice was always go to hospital if anything seems differant or wrong and they dont care if it turns out to be nothing they would rather waist time on somthing silly then have something serious missed.
Do women realy need to be constantly told what "could" happen? (i dont mean that as in shut up about it but more is it benaficial) when more focus needs to be piut on what to look for (sorry im not explaining myself very well)

 

[dizz]

Honestly Fidget's Mammy I am not sure what will work. What is the right way? Pregnancy books have very little information about babyloss, health professionals are often ill informed, shows like This Morning ignore Babyloss Awareness Week every year. I could go on. When your pg is high risk you are more aware of the risks but most people who have a stillbirth or who experience neo-natal loss are not high risk so have very little idea.

They ran articles on something utterly fucking ******** like National Chocolate Week over Babyloss Awareness last year - and there were a fair number of my friends who got bashed by "friends" for posting FB statuses simply marking the day - with crap like "why you dwelling on crap stuff like that... you need to get over it... stop upsetting people" etc etc etc.

Yes women need to be made aware of what COULD happen - in the same way they're made aware of things like pre-eclampsia and the like - they need to be made aware that bleeding, loss of movement and similar NEED to be followed up on, that they're NOT bothering the midwife unecessarily etc. Far more needs to be done - hell, look at the muddled guidance and confusion over baby movements - from when to worry, how many to worry about etc... there's no clarity out there even on THAT!

*Insert your own choice of obscenity about National Chocolate Week.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I have a friend who posted something about that and not one of my friends would have made a comment like "get over it" all she was offered was lots of support and love in the comments... I think this is more about what type of people they are and really doesn't have anything to do with them needing to be made aware of still births.

Sadly some people just have a mean spirit x

 

[smokey]

Dizz I understand how emotional and passionayt tou are about the subject but every post from you so far has very agressive and obusive, please calm down with the aggresion in your posts because all the valid points your making will get over looked and just the swearing and rudness will be focused on.
There realy isnt a need for such aggresion towards others.

 

[MangoCoconut]

I found it astonishing how many pregnant ladies on bounty and obem fb groups knew nothing about still births. a friend of mine comes to me for advice, she is 12 weeks preg. she thought still births were when the baby is born but doesnt cry for a second or two. my own hubby thought it only happens if u drink or smoke.
we need more awareness.

 

[v2007]

I personally won't watch but i do applaud C4 and OBEM for showing that PAL is bloody stressful.

They showed Hayley and Baby Noah last season and no-one batted an eyelid and Hayley had lost 2 of her children.

I think some people got confused as to the content of the show and this has what has got peoples brains thinking of the 'what if's'

PAL and rainbow babies will be stories close to a lot of the audiences hearts so i feel that the sadder side of pregnancy should be shown.



V xxx

 

[v2007]

I found it astonishing how many pregnant ladies on bounty and obem fb groups knew nothing about still births. a friend of mine comes to me for advice, she is 12 weeks preg. she thought still births were when the baby is born but doesnt cry for a second or two. my own hubby thought it only happens if u drink or smoke.
we need more awareness.

I am sorry but that is shameful.

This is why we NEED more awareness.

V xxx

 

[smokey]

Where is the balance between informing and scaring though, its a tough one that simething needs to be done about its just to what degree and in what way.

 

[cherryglitter]

emotional subject.
i am 100% for raising more awareness and the subject of any kind of loss not being taboo.
with regards to it being shown on OBEM, i don't agree. like smokey has said, it's just not the right type of programme for it. i DO think there should be more documentaries on every channel though covering losses. as this is my second pregnancy i do think if they were to show a loss on OBEM i would be more ready to emotionally accept, if that makes sense? (hope that doesn't offend anybody!) mainly because i'm more aware of labour and things that can go wrong. a lot of young women watch OBEM to perhaps get a taste of what labour is like. to witness a stillbirth i think would throw some of them over the edge and create a lot of anxiety. that's not to say they shouldn't be made aware though. i just don't feel OBEM is the right place for that for example, my heart broke everytime i read a mc post in first trimester when i was pregnant with jake (he's a rainbow baby himself) and i used to spend evenings just worrying and crying that the same thing would happen again. perhaps it's ignorant of me to protect my own feelings by ignoring those threads.

i knew about losses from a young age as my gran lost two children and my dad lost his little boy at christmas. my next door neighbour also lost a baby in her second trimester when i was younger.

unfortunately it's not something you really hear about unless you're 'involved' in it i think. some of the attitudes of women that i've come across have been awful mind you. some saying that having pictures of their angel baby on facebook being wrong. talking about mc being wrong etc. i always feel for any mother who has suffered a stillbirth because i can't even begin to imagine what that would be like but some women just don't have that feeling.

 

[Tasha]

Scaring mothers was the EXACT reason I heard from a midwife as to why it isnt discussed in antenatal classes, why there isnt SANDS posters in the antenatal clinic/ultrasound room etc. If we cant get the information from these sources then what hope do we have.

I hand on heart believe that the British stiff upper lip, lets not talk about things that make us uncomfortable and certainly not death, contributes to the fact that the UK has the third highest stillbirth rates in the developed world.

 

[v2007]

Scaring mothers was the EXACT reason I heard from a midwife as to why it isnt discussed in antenatal classes, why their isnt SANDS posters in the antenatal clinic/ultrasound room etc. If we cant get the information from these sources then what hope do we have.

I hand on heart believe that the British stiff upper lip, lets not talk about things that make us uncomfortable and certainly not death, contributes to the fact that the UK has the third highest stillbirth rates in the developed world.

Spot on.

V xxx

 

[MangoCoconut]

wholeheartedly agree tasha.

a nation of brush it under the carpet like it doesnt exist.

problem is in doing that yes you are oblivious to it yourself and you may think that a good thing but then you alienate people who need information and support and cant get it because were all too closed off and have that 'stiff upper lip' mentality.

awareness of stillbirths is NOT scaring pregnant women. ITS INFORMING THEM. INFORMING THEM TO BE INSTINCTUAL. TRUST INSTINCTS. GET ASSISTANCE IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING TO BE WRONG. And also having the healthcare support who actually act upon these worries/concerns. An informed woman is an empowered woman.

 

[MangoCoconut]

and yes there should be posters. stating how many babies die a year and then the sands helpline number/tommys other chairites. it would also help women who are preg again and worried. not everyone has the internet but most people watch tv. its a huge way to bring awareness imo