October Sticky Beans!

[Kaiecee]

2days late started to get tiny bit of cramps but nothing else.
Was the first month I didn't temp or take any fertility drugs.

Let's hope I get bfp just I've been thru this before.

 

[todmommy4568]

Jess I hope things get better with the crying. I always loved the built in pacifier of night time side breastfeeding, I usually put Asher back when he was done if I hadn't zonked out but it was nice to still be able to rest while feeding.

Heike hopefully the 3 month mark will ring true for you and you can get some rest!

Kaiecee how are you doing?

Krissie is your appointment coming up soon now?? How have things been??

I have a lot to say on my end so please bear with me First off we had our ultrasound finally (they don't typically do a 12 week here, only 20, which I think is silly but no control over it haha) and as far as I know everything looked good, she was able to locate everything. I imagine if there was something wrong they would have emailed me or called already so I am feeling good about it! AND we are having a little girl, I am so excited! Okay second thing I landed my dream job! Now I am happy that it took so long to find a job since the perfect opportunity rolled right along! I am working with children and adolescents in a psychiatric hospital and loving it so far! And that kind of leads me in to something that I need advice on. Me and the hubs have never quite agreed on how to discipline but we have made it work. He is harsh with his parenting, I think that he is too hard on Asher. I have always taken the route of talking things out. In the past we took our differences and lived with them and it was fine, I didn't interfere with his ways. If I'm being honest Asher's behavior improved immensely after having the hubs in the picture for a little bit but I still don't agree. Now taking the job I did though I can't seem to go along with his style and I am intervening and undermining him. I know it's wrong but I can't stop myself. Today he told asher he had to clean his room and Asher started cleaning but was crying at the same time talking about how long it was going to take. My husband responded with "stop crying and just do it and get it done" asher started crying more and said something and pretty soon they were going back and forth. I intervened and talked to asher for two minutes asked him how he was feeling, how he thought crying would help etc. He stopped crying and happily finished cleaning his room. I don't know who was right but I feel like if I was crying and my husband took a harsh tone with me and just told me to stop crying I would cry more too. I think it is more beneficial to talk through what you are feeling and DH thinks that I am pampering DS. I think my DH parents through fear and that that is bullish*t. My DH hates the way that he was parented so I don't know why he won't stop doing it!! And I should add that their relationship does not benefit from this, my son in my eyes has never responded to this type of parenting, he listens sometimes but he feels cruddy, tells me he is just a bad kid who can't do anything right, and DH gets all mad because he doesn't listen to him and says he has no discipline. Thing is he listens to me, I just think he doesn't respond to the way DH parents. I don't know, I am at such a loss....I feel like this is going to be a never-ending parenting debate between two people that are fundamentally different. A farm boy who was raised extremely harshly so he doesn't think he is being that harsh and a social worker who sees the woes of the world and doesn't want her kid to become an emotional wreck. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I am just so lost. I don't even know if I am in the right or if I am just overly sensitive. I know I got more sensitive during my psych rotation in my internship but this is a whole new level. Thanks ladies, I really didn't know who to bring this too and this felt like a good place.

 

[krissie328]

Shan! Congrats on your little girl!!! Do you guys have a name picked out?

Congrats on your dream job. That is fantastic. As for the other question... well I have the same situation. Dh parents way more harshly and it's very frustrating. I'm a school psychologist so I definitely go more for the talking and explaining approach.

 

[krissie328]

Oh yea.. afm, we have an appointment for Feb 20th. We are undecided if we will keep it or move it to June. I'm having some health issues that really should be addressed and will likely have to before they will proceed with treatment options.

 

[krissie328]

Shan- try parenting with love and logic. I'm hoping to get dh to read it and use it.

 

[todmommy4568]

Getting my hubby to read something will be a whole other battle Such an irritating situation, I am going to see if we can talk through it and make some headway. If that doesn't work I will drag him to some parenting/couples counseling. I'm excited for your appointment, that makes sense if you have to move it if there are health issues but at the same time if it were me I would want to have answers and direction right away and have no patience haha. We did pick a name! Freya Lee

 

[krissie328]

Oh yea, I remember Freya from before because I loved it so much.

Yea, kinda been the same with my dh. But I keep hoping.

Yea, dh told me today he wants to proceed with the appointment in Feb. So two weeks tomorrow.

So looks like af has made an appearance. Kinda surprised me today but hey that's okay.

 

[Angel5000]

It's been a little while! I have such a hard time finding time to get online lately since Melody won't sleep during the day without being held, although I was able to get her to sleep in her swing a couple times the last two days. But at least at night she's sleeping 2-3 hours between feedings.

We introduced a bottle this week, and she did so well! Someone had given us a Munchkin Latch bottle and she took it no problem. DH was so happy to be able to feed her, he made a comment about how he was finally able to help out more, and that feeding is one of the things he actually enjoys doing with babies. So, seeing how much he enjoys it I suggested that we do one bottle feeding a day. I'll try to pump during that feeding so it keeps my supply up, which I am a little worried about, but after seeing how much he enjoys it (and honestly, the break is nice), I didn't want to take that away.

Random: we got 10 inches of snow yesterday. We NEVER get that much. We might get 1-2 inches in the winter, but not often and we never ever get this much. Our heater is having a hard time keeping up, which makes it hard for baby to sleep because it is pretty cold.


Heike - I'm sorry that your LO's crying doesn't seem to be getting better. Some days are better than others for Melody, but I know what you mean it's so hard to see those tears and have nothing we can do. How is getting her to sleep at night going? Still good? Melody still doesn't want to sleep in her bassinet or crib, but we are pretty sure part of it is that she's startling herself awake, and it's a little cold in our house right now, so I'm just letting her co-sleep for a few more weeks.


Shan - Congrats on the girl!! I love the name Freya! I'm so excited that you found your dream job! That's awesome!

As for your DH, have you talked to him about your concerns? You know, my sister is finishing her Masters in family counciling and she sometimes has similar problems with her DH and their daughter. She will often step in and talk to her daughter about how she's feeling, etc. She usually then sends her daughter to talk to her dad and apologize for behavior, etc and he responds fairly well then and they are able to talk a little (daddy and daughter). But it's hard, especially for guys who weren't raised to be "Talkers". I don't know what the solution is. Does your DH get upset when you step in and talk it through with your son? I don't think it's undermining him if you aren't changing a punishment or telling him that your DH is wrong, I think it's more that you are helping him cope while supporting your DH's decision. At least based on the example you gave.


Krissie - Sorry about your health. Let us know if you end up keeping the appointment or how things go.

 

[krissie328]

Kaiecee- any update with you?

Jess & Hieke- I hope your girls start sleeping better. It is so rough those first few months.

DH wants to keep our appointment so we will be going in two weeks. Eh!

 

[cupcake.]

Jess, thanks, her crying is definitely getting better and when she's fed and changed she's almost always happy and smiley. It's only when she gets tired she starts getting cranky but i know her well enough now that it usually doesn't get to uncontrollable crying and I get her to sleep soon enough. During the day that means holding and rocking her though, she won't sleep by herself during the day still. I sometimes try but don't force her. She's my first so apart from maybe housework not getting done there's no reason not give her what she seems to still need so I do that.
Her night sleep is still good so i really can't complain. She sometimes even holds up 5 hours until her first night feeding! It's probably still weeks away but i think she might start sleeping through the night or at least be down to one night feeding eventually. Altough i have heard about that 4 month sleep regression, i hope it won't hit us hard.

She'll be 12 weeks tomorrow.. seriously how did that happen so fast?!

 

[krissie328]

A little update on me... after a lot of soul searching and talking with dh, I think we won't be pursuing fertility treatments. We will probably ntnp until Nov/Dec and then I'll either get an iud or dh will get the snip. I feel really at peace with this decision and know it's what's best for us.

 

[todmommy4568]

Jess that is wonderful that Melody took to the bottle well! DH does get a little upset when I step in but you make a wonderful point that since I am not changing the expectations it isn't really undermining, just adding a different approach.

Krissie I am glad that you have a plan, I am sure it will be nice to have a plan in place and not feel like it is so much of a roller coaster. Can I ask why you are choosing to prevent come Nov/Dec instead of just going with not trying? Just curious haha

As for me baby is doing well. They want to do another ultrasound because she was measuring about a week behind where we should be at this point. I'm really not concerned, I told them already I didn't ovulate until approximately cd26 so I am surprised they are even wanting another ultrasound since she is actually measuring about the size she should be considering the late ovulation but whatever floats their boat haha. Her kicks are getting much stronger and now I actually feel her while I am at work, usually with all the moving around and doing stuff I wasn't focused enough to feel the movements, now they are strong enough that I notice throughout all the chaos which has been fun haha. She also popped this week. Up until now I have pretty much just looked chubbier but now my stomach has seemed to round out quite a bit and I am actually looking pregnant haha. I am already getting super anxious about my maternity leave Probably because it is discussed pretty often. We have way less patients in the summer and then it really picks up again when school starts again in the fall so they definitely want me back by the time school starts which will give me about 8 weeks off. I was planning on 6-8 weeks so that actually works but yea, I'm rambling. Anyways that is life for now

 

[krissie328]

Shan- great to hear from you and that baby is doing well. I saw your ticket and can't believe how fast time is flying! That's great they are working with you and that your leave will work out for you.

To be honest- I'm not sure I even want another baby at this point. The age gap is getting too large and we are pretty happy with how things are with our family of 3.

The primary reason to just prevent all around is because I can't do the maybe thing, I just need to know it's not an option. I'm trying not to make any rash decisions right now but if I don't have any urges to try soon I might move up the stopping date to April when I have my annual exam.

 

[Blackrain90]

Hey everyone! Glad your babes are doing well, i'm with y'all when it comes to the sleeping issues. I held my guy to sleep for 8 months and then we finally crib trained him. He is currently sitting in his crib screaming, so obviously that is going great But I think he is in the 8 month sleep regression so not much I can do but let him fight it out in his crib.

Krissie i'm glad you guys have come to terms with your situation. If it's meant to happen for you I hope it does, but i'm glad you guys have a plan either way.

Shan I would suggest the parenting class or counseling, some guys have to hear it from someone else before they really decide to listen haha.

I can't believe i'm saying it- I think there is a SMALL chance I could be pregnant. If not, then apparently I am ovulating or something (haven't had a cycle since Parker was born, but we are just starting to have longer stretches of no nursing at night so it could starting). Loads of EWCM (for over 4 days straight now), very minor cramping on and off for several days, and today I am finding I need to pee more frequently, despite barely drinking any fluids. It could just be my imagination, as hubs was fixed in mid December (but it takes 3 months for everything to clear the tracks so to speak). But who knows. If it doesn't stop in a few days, i'll probably do a test just to ease my mind. No way in hell i'm gonna tell hubs though haha.

 

[krissie328]

Oh Heather!! Wouldn't that be crazy!! I hope LO settles soon for you. Those early days are hard.

So... Apparently I ovulated CD 15 (Monday) out of nowhere. And of course we had no baby this weekend so we were enjoying ourselves. I am not overly excited but I am excited I ovulated so early and on my own. Who knows maybe this one will be our giving up miracle.

 

[Blackrain90]

That's awesome Krissie!

 

[cupcake.]

That's great krissie! Good to hear you're at peace with your plans. But also, sounds like you had excellent timing, i'm having my fingers crossed!

Heather, my baby girl sleeps fine at night in her cosleeper crib, but during the day, only in my arms as well.. i'll start getting her in her big crib in her room for one mid day nap next month when she's close to 4 months. I feel like her nighttime routine has settled well and she is usually fast asleep 10 minutes after i put her down. I stay next to her until she's asleep. Very rarely i have to go back in and replace her dummy. It's actually fascinating to see her watching her light mobile and then just turning her head away and slowly closing her eyes and falling asleep so peacefully as if it was the easiest thing ever. I often wonder why she can't do just that during the day as well hahaha but then i remember, she'll have to fall asleep at night forever, she won't always need so many naps though so i'm glad her nighttime sleep is good instead of the other way around.
I'm actually really scared for the 4 month sleep regression.. i hear so much about it and i don't want her nighttime sleep to change monday night was the best yet, an 8 hour stretch from 7-3, bottle and then another 5 hours and then up for the day. I would be very sad if she started waking up a lot more and not due to being hungry. She might not sleep through the whole night but i am spoilt in that she only wakes to eat and falls back asleep quickly haha

 

[Angel5000]

Hello ladies! How is everyone? We are doing fairly well, Melody is just over 6 weeks now and starting to get into a rhythm. (Pic attached!) I'm finally feeling like I have a little bit of a handle on things and I'm getting to know her and what different cries mean, etc. She has a pretty decent temperment now that I've figured out that she can't handle more than an hour or 90 mins awake even though she often won't show signs of sleepiness. So if I watch the clock and start her sleep/nap routine after ~75min of wake time she usually passes out quickly (<5 mins) and things have been so much easier since! Of course, with two parents who like to go to bed early (we're in bed around 9-9:30pm every night), I would end up with a kiddo whose only major fussy time ("witching hour") is late! Around 9-9:30pm, no matter what she's doing or what her mood, she starts to fuss and scream bloody murder and it lasts anywhere from 30min - 2 hours.

Thankfully DH usually takes and walks her at that point until she calms. We did find that turning on the shower stops her screaming immediately (it's like magic, shower on and her screams just stop mid scream. Instant fix as long as the shower's running). But I'm not a fan of standing all night in the bathroom

Other than that, things are good. I'm scheduled to go back to work in a month BUT I'm trying to get more time off at least a couple weeks. We've had several snow days that will be made up at the end of the year, so I'll have to work the extra days even though I wasn't paid for the days we had off for snow, so I'm asking that my leave be extended to account for that (and according to my union rep it will be).

And then I found out my mom was just diagnosed with lupus on top of her crohns. The sudden onset (as a result of her crohns meds) has left her with debilitating joint pain. She can barely walk and can't lift more than 8-10lbs .... which is a problem as she was supposed to be Melody's care taker when I returned to work in April. If they can't get her pain and swelling under control I won't have care for April (in May my sister can do it full time, but she has classes through the first week of May). I can request additional time off and as long as my job approves it then I'll keep my job, I will just have to pay my entire insurance premium myself ($1300 ish). It's a little insane, and a lot of money, but I'm considering asking them to just give me the extra month and have me return in May just so I don't have to stress out my mom.


Anyway, that's me.


Krissie - I'm sorry that you haven't been able to get your BFP, but you know what is best for you and your family and as long as you are comfortable with your decision and you know it's the right one for you and your family then that is what matters. I'm glad that you've reached a decision that you are at peace with.

Early O on your own, that's awesome! Good luck!


Shan - I can't believe your far along you are by now! I'm glad you aren't worried and all seems well with baby. Another ultrasound is nice. 6-8 weeks of Maternity seems so short! I was just thinking about that today, because some of the women in my birth group are going back to work around now (6-8 weeks) and I can't imagine going back right now. I'm just barely starting to feel "normal" again. I wish we lived in one of the countries that gave a long paid Mat Leave as a normal thing. *sigh* At least you have a great job though, that will make it easier.


Heather - Wow! That would be crazy! Definitely keep us informed! As for crib training... hearing everyone's stories, I'm beginning to think I need to make sure I don't wait too long with Melody! It's so hard to figure out where the balance is between being too young to really self-sooth and waiting too long!

 

[krissie328]

She's so cute Jess! She looks so alert and happy.

I went back when ds was 6 weeks old. It was incredibly difficult. But my circumstances wouldn't allow for more time. Thankfully we had a good child care situation that helped. I'm sorry about your mom, I hope she gets her health back and can help.

Afm, thanks for the support ladies. It's so hard. I'm pretty indifferent about this cycle. Just waiting it out. Trying like crazy not to symptom spot since it literally makes me crazy.

 

[Angel5000]

Thanks Krissie!