OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[HPMINI]

Hyacinth - welcome!

All I can say is - keep the faith - don't stress too much about the window just about the right week. From what I can remember - I thought I had missed the window due to circumstances but obviously I didn't! My husband and I both work shifts so it was extremely difficult finding time!

I know where you are coming from with the disappointment and it does all get a bit too much but it definitely makes it more exciting when you achieve your goal!

 

[janey211]

Hello,

Welcome! We all understand your problem. My husband and I have the same issue. He never finishes and has now started to have ED problems. Due to all the issues, we decided to do at home insemination. Sounds weird but it took all the pressure off and ensured that we got his swimmers where they needed to be during the most important time. It took 8 months but we successfully concieved and I am due in July. It was much easier that I had thought and we got what we wanted in the end. I would have liked to do it the normal way, but after months of trying to get that going, it was just too much pressure.

If you want information on what we did, feel free to inbox me.

 

[SaraJewel]

Congratulations to all of your who got your BFP, I hope your pregnancies go well and very healthy. I have tried going through the posts but cant see your road to BFP, would a few of you mind sharing these with us, ie opk, when DTD etc what was different, thank you[/QUOTE]

Hi Smurfy!!!!

Well it took as around 18-19 months to finally conceive. I took a tip from HPMINI and started telling OH when the "good" week was, being a bit vague about it. I also kept an eye on my cervical mucus as always had a good run of EWCM so started to get to know my cycle well. I tried OPKs but I NEVER got a positive so gave up and to be honest they stressed me out. I also told my OH that no matter what happened he was more important to me than a baby and if it didn't work out we would still have each other. That seemed to take the pressure off. I did pile the pressure on at the start which didn't help anyone and we had 6 months or so with NO ejaculation!

Things gradually got better over the next year. The month we conceived, we DTD on days 10, 12 and 14 after ovulation. That was a record run of success for us! We also DTD on day 16 but OH couldn't finish, but it obviously didn't matter! I ovulated around day 14/15 by my reckoning which was earlier that it had been the whole time I'd been TTC. I think the stress threw my cycle off.

Hope this helps. Everyone says don't stress but that is easier said than done!

 

[smurfy]

Congratulations to all of your who got your BFP, I hope your pregnancies go well and very healthy. I have tried going through the posts but cant see your road to BFP, would a few of you mind sharing these with us, ie opk, when DTD etc what was different, thank you

Hi Smurfy!!!!

Well it took as around 18-19 months to finally conceive. I took a tip from HPMINI and started telling OH when the "good" week was, being a bit vague about it. I also kept an eye on my cervical mucus as always had a good run of EWCM so started to get to know my cycle well. I tried OPKs but I NEVER got a positive so gave up and to be honest they stressed me out. I also told my OH that no matter what happened he was more important to me than a baby and if it didn't work out we would still have each other. That seemed to take the pressure off. I did pile the pressure on at the start which didn't help anyone and we had 6 months or so with NO ejaculation!

Things gradually got better over the next year. The month we conceived, we DTD on days 10, 12 and 14 after ovulation. That was a record run of success for us! We also DTD on day 16 but OH couldn't finish, but it obviously didn't matter! I ovulated around day 14/15 by my reckoning which was earlier that it had been the whole time I'd been TTC. I think the stress threw my cycle off.

Hope this helps. Everyone says don't stress but that is easier said than done![/QUOTE]

Thank you i agree the stress can alter your cycle, weve had a lot of stress over the last 9 months, husband was pretty ill having tests in the hospital, then lost his job, now the last 6 week have been so much more relaxed and my cycles have gone from 35 days down to 30 and my pattern is alot more conistant now. Good luck with your pregnancy

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi Ladies, I posted in here until about October but have been MIA since then. My OH & I actually separated for about 4 months- we'd had a terrible terrible year & the Ttc with 'finishing' issues & doing diy AI didn't help!!

But wet back together again. And feeling stronger than ever. We have an appt with the reproductive biology unit at our local maternity hospital next wed 10th April. We could keep going AI, and we might anyway, but I'm 38 & I don't want to just keep hoping. And I don't want the dramas/stress of last year to return. I'm hoping we're offered IUI straight up.. At least if we try that a few times we can decide if we want to move on to IVF. I'm banking on our only issue being getting the sperm where it needs to be!! Fingers crossed.

I'm just hoping that I don't have to have any weird tests done.. Any kind of bloods I'm cool with, but anything more invasive I'm not keen on.. Do u think they'll want to do more than just bloods?

So far my progesterone day 21 was good, & OH's semen analysis was good too. Really its the 'ejaculating' (tmi!) which is our problem...

It's sooooo amazing to see so many of u are pregnant! Gives me hope ; )

 

[greenjelly]

Congratulations to all of your who got your BFP, I hope your pregnancies go well and very healthy. I have tried going through the posts but cant see your road to BFP, would a few of you mind sharing these with us, ie opk, when DTD etc what was different, thank you

Hi Smurfy!!!!

Well it took as around 18-19 months to finally conceive. I took a tip from HPMINI and started telling OH when the "good" week was, being a bit vague about it. I also kept an eye on my cervical mucus as always had a good run of EWCM so started to get to know my cycle well. I tried OPKs but I NEVER got a positive so gave up and to be honest they stressed me out. I also told my OH that no matter what happened he was more important to me than a baby and if it didn't work out we would still have each other. That seemed to take the pressure off. I did pile the pressure on at the start which didn't help anyone and we had 6 months or so with NO ejaculation!

Things gradually got better over the next year. The month we conceived, we DTD on days 10, 12 and 14 after ovulation. That was a record run of success for us! We also DTD on day 16 but OH couldn't finish, but it obviously didn't matter! I ovulated around day 14/15 by my reckoning which was earlier that it had been the whole time I'd been TTC. I think the stress threw my cycle off.

Hope this helps. Everyone says don't stress but that is easier said than done![/QUOTE]

How are you doing Sara? Feeling fine I hope? I started clomid this month...

 

[melly2]

Hi All,

I am in the same boat. My husband started having ED and performance issues starting about a year ago. I told him to see his urologist since he had testicular cancer two years ago and had a testicle removed; this issue got much worse after the surgery. He went to the doctor and found out that he has very low sperm count and now a failing testicle. So, even though at first I thought our issue was that we couldn't complete, now it's just a failing male fertility all together. I must admit, it is VERY frustrating.

Good luck everyone!

 

[tundralife2]

Hi ladies. Mind if i join? I am 39 going to be 40 in August and my DH is 31 and active duty military. I have not been on birth control for 15 years. I have been diagnosed with endometrosis but no way to get rid of it as it just comes back. I have been on clomid for 3 months at 100 mg but this cycle I decided not to use it because it makes me insane and my periods hurt like hell. I tried reading all 60 pages of this thread but my eyes started hurting. I did see where some of the ladies were having issues with DH or OH in performing. My DH can "finish" the problem is he doesn't let me touch him. I actually thought he was gay if you want to know the truth. He could be naked next to me and I could reach to touch his private area and he literally would be like, leave me alone. Almost like something a woman would do. We started talking about ttc but then he would get all mad because he said it was like I was forcing him to do it so he wouldn't even come near me. I decided that I would not tell him when it is time and try my best to sleep naked or anything i could think of but sometimes it doesn't work because he isn't interested. He hates lingerie so i don't even own any. It's just hard to be so subtle when it's something so important especially with him saying he wants to have a baby too. I did test positive last night with my cb digital OPK and we did BD last night but it has been 7 days before since we bd last. I will try my best to get him to bd with me again tonight but I just don't know. If I wait until Sat or Sun that may be too late because I will have already ovulated and scared I won't catch that egg. I think men do feel pressured to be a man and like my DH said I don't have to do anything to get pregnant but he has to perform and be a man. I am thinking that he feels like if we don't get pregnant then he isn't a man and it's questioning his man hood. I don't know but I'm trying not to stress out but my eggs aren't getting any younger.

Hope you ladies are all well and congrats on those who did get their BFP! I will eventually finish reading this entire thread to see how it all happened.

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi ladies. Mind if i join? I am 39 going to be 40 in August and my DH is 31 and active duty military. I have not been on birth control for 15 years. I have been diagnosed with endometrosis but no way to get rid of it as it just comes back. I have been on clomid for 3 months at 100 mg but this cycle I decided not to use it because it makes me insane and my periods hurt like hell. I tried reading all 60 pages of this thread but my eyes started hurting. I did see where some of the ladies were having issues with DH or OH in performing. My DH can "finish" the problem is he doesn't let me touch him. I actually thought he was gay if you want to know the truth. He could be naked next to me and I could reach to touch his private area and he literally would be like, leave me alone. Almost like something a woman would do. We started talking about ttc but then he would get all mad because he said it was like I was forcing him to do it so he wouldn't even come near me. I decided that I would not tell him when it is time and try my best to sleep naked or anything i could think of but sometimes it doesn't work because he isn't interested. He hates lingerie so i don't even own any. It's just hard to be so subtle when it's something so important especially with him saying he wants to have a baby too. I did test positive last night with my cb digital OPK and we did BD last night but it has been 7 days before since we bd last. I will try my best to get him to bd with me again tonight but I just don't know. If I wait until Sat or Sun that may be too late because I will have already ovulated and scared I won't catch that egg. I think men do feel pressured to be a man and like my DH said I don't have to do anything to get pregnant but he has to perform and be a man. I am thinking that he feels like if we don't get pregnant then he isn't a man and it's questioning his man hood. I don't know but I'm trying not to stress out but my eggs aren't getting any younger.

Hope you ladies are all well and congrats on those who did get their BFP! I will eventually finish reading this entire thread to see how it all happened.

Hi there, there's no doubt that making a baby can be very stressful. My OH has difficulty finishing but we think it's just bcos we've had sex this way for 18yrs bcos I never wanted to take the pill. Now it's like a habit he cant break. I mean maybe if he we kept going & going & going.... But that starts to get stressful bcos by that point the sex is no longer fun, it's mechanical & I start to get upset (thinking its my fault) & then he gets annoyed with me for blaming myself.. It's a vicious circle really. So for us, the better option is to just enjoy having sex & have him finish in a cup. Plus we're now waiting to see a FS & I'm hoping we'll do IUI.

Your situation sounds difficult, but as long as your BD'ing & getting the sperm where it needs to be, then ur in with a chance! It can all be very stressful when u just want everything to work... But us humans are a complicated species! Even when u love & know someone well, these TTC issues can still be extremely hard to deal with. For both us girls & the men. I know my OH probably feels totally stupid that he has trouble finishing during sex.. But I'm doing my best to keep it lighthearted. Which is why we started using a syringe..

Keep ur chin up ; )

 

[tundralife2]

Thank you so much for the words of wisdom and advice. YOu are right, it's hard all together on both the female and male. My plan of trying to BD didn't work last night as he wasn't willing to do anything. He just doesn't want to do it period! I know things will turn around. WOW! 18 years together? That's a long time. Congrats on making it that far! Awesome

 

[ragae32]

My DH has had issues with this too.

 

[ragae32]

https://bgrh.info/7.jpg

 

[Juniperjules]

It's quiet in here girls.. Anyone still around???? I'm on cd 3 today & starting to get excited/nervous about starting AI next week. It's our 18th anniversary of the day we met next Tuesday.. I'm hoping that might be our charm & we'll get a bfp this month!

 

[tundralife2]

I'm here and at 5DPO today. I feel okay about this cycle whether it happens or not. Only because we didn't get to BD when I wanted due to my hubby's military training last weekend. Ugh...wow 18 years together! That's a very long time. Congrats on that in itself.

 

[kelly1973]

hi to all the ladies that know me just wanted to update baby Daniel was born on the 31st march weighing 9 pounds 3 hope your all ok xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Juniperjules]

I'm here and at 5DPO today. I feel okay about this cycle whether it happens or not. Only because we didn't get to BD when I wanted due to my hubby's military training last weekend. Ugh...wow 18 years together! That's a very long time. Congrats on that in itself.

Thanks for the congrats! Yep 18 years!... Hasn't all been smooth sailing mind you- we actually had a break for about 3-4 months & have just gotten back together recently. the time apart made us both realise we still needed each other even after all these years. Think my OH was having a bit of a midlife crisis actually (he's 44). And so now we're both desperate to get pregnant & make 2013 the best year it can be.

I'm just hanging out, impatient to get some BD/AI done this coming week & get the ball rolling. Good luck with the TWW, it's frustrating when ur timing gets screwed up by outside things. I'm a nurse & work shifts & my OH works strange hours too.. All our best days next week are fri/sat/sun/mon.. & were working ALL of them. So we'll be trying to do this all around our stupid work hours! But we're gonna do it! I'm determined! : )

 

[Juniperjules]

hi to all the ladies that know me just wanted to update baby Daniel was born on the 31st march weighing 9 pounds 3 hope your all ok xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Kelly, I don't know u but congratulations on ur new son! ; )

 

[greenjelly]

hi to all the ladies that know me just wanted to update baby Daniel was born on the 31st march weighing 9 pounds 3 hope your all ok xxxxxxxxxxx

Kelly! Thats amazing. Congratulations! How are you all? Your 9 months seem to have flown by - did it feel like that for you, or not! Thanks for letting us know. Im still trying... on Clomid now, first month but dont feel very hopeful despite the sore boobs which I have to keep telling myself is probably the Clomid giving me false symptoms.
Juniper 18 years! Congratulations to you too! Fingers crossed for 2013! xxx

 

[Juniperjules]

hi to all the ladies that know me just wanted to update baby Daniel was born on the 31st march weighing 9 pounds 3 hope your all ok xxxxxxxxxxx

Kelly! Thats amazing. Congratulations! How are you all? Your 9 months seem to have flown by - did it feel like that for you, or not! Thanks for letting us know. Im still trying... on Clomid now, first month but dont feel very hopeful despite the sore boobs which I have to keep telling myself is probably the Clomid giving me false symptoms.
Juniper 18 years! Congratulations to you too! Fingers crossed for 2013! xxx

Hi greenjelly! I'm pretty sure I remember u from last year.. It's ur quote about 'eating cake' that feels familiar! : ) probably from this thread I guess!

So ur taking clomid, are you having IUI or IVF? Or just doing a natural cycle?

 

[greenjelly]

Doing it naturally. Been told I wouldnt be a good candidate for IVF as I have a low AMH. Kind of relieved because I have never wanted to go the IVF route although now my desire is getting stronger and stronger and I wonder if I will feel thats the only thing I can try next. CLomid has been fine but I dont feel anything apart from the boob thing. And temps a bit all over the place so I dont think I have had a miracle first experience on Clomid. Been working away from home this week and its been quite stressful which I dont suppose helps anything!
And Im having a facebook day when all my friends are sprouting about how great their children are! Grrrr!