On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[aknqtpie]

Starry - Have you had any more U/S's to make sure that everything looked okay?

 

[Starry Night]

I had an internal u/s about 6 weeks after the loss and they couldn't find anything (this was after I had a big bleed and needed to call 911). I normally do have heavy AFs but for a few hours there that was a bit much, even for me. However, I had this problem after DS was born too. It took about 4 or 5 AFs for the flow to become less heavy. I'm more shocked that it was so heavy after only 18 days.

 

[Left wonderin]

Hi Starry , im kinda freaked out by AF think it brings me right back to m/c and the whole process . Im almost afraid what will come out . That might sound stuipid but its how i feel . It must have been traumatic to pass such a clot . I had a shit day and feeling quite low . The girl in work who was four months ahead of me headed off on her maternity leave. It broght back all that I should be expereincing and all I feel robbed of .

Its so hard to stay positive some days , this is one of those . Im sure tommrow will be a better day Also AF who arrived is messing about she is there but keeps stopping and starting ....... wish she would just come , do her thing and go away again errrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[aknqtpie]

Mine was heavy for two days, and then turned into spotting today. Was gone for like 3 hours this morning.

 

[Topanga053]

Hey ladies, a moderately rough night for me. DH and I are in Florida on vacation (we're from Maine!) and visiting his grandmother. I got some pregnancy news from a friend in the car and then a few minutes later his grandmother asked ALL about my friend with triplets... the one who got pregnant the same week as me. I've been doing so well, but tonight has been a little tough, especially since I thought I had escaped baby stuff for a little while!!

And, unfortunately, St. Paddy's day doesn't cheer me up... my angel was due on St. Paddy's Day. DH and I are both 50% Irish and my mom is 100% Irish, so all of our families thought it was PERFECT! So sad that wont be the case anymore.

 

[RedWylder]

Ooooh the AF drama that's hitting us all! Mine is seemingly a normal period but my miscarriage was a while ago and my body has started to correct itself. I had my cervix and pelvis checked today at the doc and all seems good to go. Do said try clomid for 3 months and if I don't get preggo come back in. I hope this means I'm getting closer to my BFP.

 

[aknqtpie]

Topanga - Sorry you are having a rough night. I hope you can go enjoy the warm(er) weather and relax for a bit.

Red - Good news about the Clomid. I am hoping it works for you!

 

[anchor08]

Hi ladies, I was on this thread back in January but somehow lost track of it...would love to join in again. Like some of you have said, the bfps and peppiness on some of the other threads can be discouraging! I haven't been at this for very long (TTC since August, BFP in November, m/c in Jan.), but it's still really hard every day.

I'm right around O time now (won't know for sure for a few days), and I had a moment last night that I know only this group would understand. Right after dtd I was lying with my legs up (I know that probably doesn't do anything, but why not) and I suddenly felt so angry. Before the m/c all of this was fun and exciting. We were "trying", but it was more like just bd a lot for a few days and hoping for a bfp, which we both enjoyed. Now it's completely different. I can't even say exactly how, but I think you all know. I feel like one of the best aspects of my life has been wrecked, and I suspect I could change my attitude somewhat but I don't know how. I'm trying to think positively and focus on other things in my life, and most of the time I can, but when we're actually in that moment it really sucks.

</rant> Thanks for hearing me out.

 

[aknqtpie]

I agree Anchor. Last cycle was my first trying after the m/c .. I do feel better this cycle, like that first cycle pressure lifted. Going to try and relax more and have fun.

Remember orgasms increase the chance of getting prego, so its important

 

[RedWylder]

Hi Anchor, we can definitely relate here. I'm doing better now but my right after my miscarriage I had moments of extreme bitterness and anger. It took a long time for me to feel hopeful again.

 

[anchor08]

Thanks for your replies, just being able to talk about it with someone helps! I'll get there, but I'll also have difficult days for a while and I guess that's okay.

 

[aknqtpie]

Yeah, like any type of loss, we will have our good days and bad days.

 

[Starry Night]

Hi anchor! Your post sounds so familiar. It really sucks to be in this place. I really wish I could forget about TTC sometimes but it's necessary if I want to give DS a little brother or sister. Overall my life is very good and happy but it's this one area that has me grinding my teeth and feel a little rotten in the pit of my stomach. It taints the rest of my happiness. And with my previous losses I know that even getting my bfp will only be a momentary cure. I'll be a paranoid, obsessive wreck the entire 9 months. That alone makes me mad.

Topanga - aw, sorry you had to hear all that pregnant talk. I'm already feeling oppressed by my angel's May due date so I can imagine how much harder you're feeling that coming day. With my first loss I found the day was not as hard as I feared it would be. It was still tough but manageable. I gave myself a good amount of time to cry and commemorate my Lil Peanut. For the rest, I just distracted myself as much as possible.

AFM - My AF is soooooo heavy I can hardly handle it. It's definitely like the AFs I had after my son was born but that was a full-term pregnancy. My 12 week pregnancy (where the baby never grew past 6 weeks) ended 4 months ago. Yet, for the past 2 days, I've been bleeding through tampons every 1 hour or so and even soaking the pad I wear as back-up. It's horrid! I'm actually not feeling too badly so I'm not worrying about it. It's just upsetting to see it. I hope it eases soon.

 

[Topanga053]

Thank you, Starry! it's so nice to feel understood!

Anchor, I completely hear you on that. TTC before our loss was so fun and exciting. It was a lot of sex, filled with the hope and excitement of new beginnings.

It IS sad to have those old feelings of excitement and hope replaced with feelings of frustration (why am I TTC at all when I should be pregnant??) and fear (why aren't I pregnant yet?? What if I DO get pregnant and lose the baby again?).

There is NO doubt that a loss removes a lot of the fun and innocence to TTC. It's so unfair. But I do try to focus on the few moments when it does feel really exciting and fun again (it took me several months to even have one of those!).

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[RedWylder]

Starry im thinking you might start considering going to the doc. Is it possible youre having another miscarriage? I hate even to suggest that by your bleeding just sounds so much like what my friend described with her second consecutive mc. It had happened something like 18 days after her period too. Anyways i hope thats not the case but i do think if you continue to bleed like this you should get checked out.

 

[anchor08]

Thanks Topanga and everyone else, it helps a lot that other people understand. It was a difficult moment, but the moment passed, and things have been better the last few days. I'm a pretty emotional person anyway, so probably prone to dramatic swings in stuff like this where I care a lot. Got a big temp shift today, so hopefully crosshairs coming soon!

 

[Starry Night]

Thanks, Red, for your concern but the same thing happened after my DS was born and we were preventing pregnancy. I have always had heavy cycles and after my two last pregnancies they have been heavier. I also took a hpt when I was lightly spotting (I was thinking the same thing as you) and it was very, very negative. And I took a hpt just before my previous AF and that was also negative. I don't see how I could have conceived a pregnancy when I only had 11 days between bleeds (and we don't DTD while bleeding or spotting).

Throughout my youth my hormones were all out of balanced and didn't straighten out until my mid twenties. It doesn't take much to get them out of whack again so I chalk it up to that.

My bleeding has slowed to a light flow so it should be done in a few days.

 

[Topanga053]

Sorry Starry, that really sucks. Glad it's slowing down now. Hopefully that's all your body needed to regulate itself and next cycle will be normal! Definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

Afm, first cycle on Clomid definitely caused me to ovulate earlier (Cd16 instead of the usual Cd22), but I'm still getting a lot of + OPKs. I don't think I can easily link my chart here because I'm on my phone, but it's weird. Today was my 5-6th day of +OPKs (depending on if I count the first questionable test as + or not), but I had a huge temp spike 6 days ago.

Cd16- 96.3, lots of EWCM, +
Cd17- 96.8, +
Cd18- 96.8, +
Cd19- 97.4, +
cd20- 97.4, +
Cd21 (today)- 97.5, +

Really?!? Why do I always keep testing positive, even after a HUGE temp spike??? There's no way I'm still fertile, right?? I'm on vacation, so I can't get a blood draw to confirm ovulation. This is what my chart looked like last month too and I did, in fact, O. Last month I kept getting + well after O too. Isn't that bizarre??? And even on Clomid??

 

[RedWylder]

Topanga, I wouldn't worry. I'm sure that it's just leftover lutenizing hormone. I'm on my 3rd day of clomid myself and I'm curious to see if it makes me ovulate sooner. I normally ovulate between 21 and 23 days too. It will be such a relief to speed up my cycles. I feel like the 3 week wait to ovulate just makes everything that much longer and frustrating.

 

[aknqtpie]

Topanga.. are you entering your temps and stuff into fertility friend? I would be interested to see what/when it shows you ovulating with the temp spike.