On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Carybear]

Oh Starry... I can understand.. I've only lost one, but I understand that hope that maybe just maybe this one is going to make it... I tried s long to get pregnant that miscarriage never even entered my mind... Oh how I wish that you did not have to go through this...
Thinking of you...

 

[Left wonderin]

I think I've gone into a state of emotional shock or denial but underneath everything I feel my anxiety welling up. I just want the physical stuff to get on with it! I hate this time between knowing the baby is dead and actually starting to pass it. I'm scared it's not happening anytime soon. In fact, I'm starting to feel better physically then I did while my pregnancy was still progressing! I think that is feeding my denial. Logically, I know it's over but my heart is still clinging to stupid, desperate hope and my brain can't tame it. Hence the anxiety, I suppose.

Starry I really feel for you girl , I've been through the " limbo" of knowing there is no hope and waiting for your body to catch up . It's awful just awful I remember the feeling of ( although not wanting it to be happening at all ) being desperate for it all to be over ... The waiting really was the hardest , even harder than coming to terms with the loss . I hope that physically things start moving quickly for you so you can begin to move forward and grieve . We are all here for you xxx your strength is incredible xxx

 

[Starry Night]

The worst part is my morning sickness is getting worse so that is really making me think things are going to drag out. Spring is finally arriving out here and I just want to go outside and walk or bike ride and I just have to wait.

How are you ladies doing?

 

[Left wonderin]

Starry what's the next step ? Have you any more scans , hospital apts ?

 

[Starry Night]

I have another scan on Tuesday. A little afraid a baby will now appear but it will be sickly and unviable and just serve to drag things out.

 

[RedWylder]

I dont have any words for you just know that my heart hurts for yours.

AFM... Still not temping but i think i must have ovulated somewhat recently because Im on cd34 with no signs of AF. If shes going to come Id very much like her to be here now. Waiting is definitely the hardest part

 

[Starry Night]

A friend was suggesting that I temp so I can catch the egg right away when it's healthier. I agree that catching the egg earlier is probably best but I didn't want to tell her that DH and I dtd all the time as it is! LOL Not sure how I could time things any better without being clairvoyant.

Red, waiting really does suck. Hope you find ways to make the wait easier. Good luck and hope your wait brings you to a bfp.

 

[RedWylder]

OMG! A friend recently announced his wife's pregnancy. She is 42! They were trying less time than us. WTF? What is wrong with my body?

 

[Starry Night]

Red, that's hard. I wish there were answers to our questions about the unfairness that is TTC. I mean, congrats to your friends, but it still sucks that it comes so easily for some people and not for us.

AFM - my body is still showing no signs of letting this pregnancy go. Still getting bad morning sickness and very sore & sensitive boobs. I'm even getting stretching pains!! Nature is very cruel.

 

[RedWylder]

Sorry Starry. .

 

[Carybear]

So sorry Starry...

Awwww Red, I understand.. A friend told me yesterday that she is pregnant... She went on and on about the test and the whole story... I just wanted to scream SHUT UP! While the whole time I pasted a smile on my face. I'm truly happy for her, but I'm so sad for me...

 

[Starry Night]

well, had my follow up scan today to confirm the m/c and they found a baby. However, it barely grew from last week and it's heart beat is under 50. That's slower than my heart beat! Also, my hcg had only gone up by 500 over 3 days. So this scan was my worst fears realized. I either wanted a miraculous scan which showed a healthy baby or a scan to confirm the pregnancy was over and I could move from there. Today's scan just shows this is probably going to drag on for awhile yet. I'm so mad!

Also, seeing the baby has made me absolutely fall in love with it and want it all the more. But I know I can't have it.

 

[RedWylder]

Starry I really am so sorry. In fact I have even more reason now to empathize with you. Below you will find a test that I feel is inconclusive but could be the start of a BFP:

https://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/lbkaiser/Baby/photo6_zps7e18fa40.jpg

Unfortunately one of the first thoughts that went through my head was oh no it's happening again. I shouldn't feel scared to get good news but I'm so afraid to get excited and then a week later find out it was all for nothing. I realize the picture shows the faintest of lines (if you can even see it) but it showed up in less than 5 minutes and I can see the line from book reading distance. It's faint but pink(ish) in real life. Eeck!

 

[Left wonderin]

Red I see it and I never see them !!

 

[Starry Night]

Red, that is most definitely a line! I normally never see them either. Yay!!!!!!

 

[RedWylder]

OMG I'm so scared and excited! I feel like a total douche for announcing this when you're having so much pain yourself Starry. I really hate that we can't all be happy together.

 

[Left wonderin]

Red you should be excited and jumping for joy we all need to celabrate the successes we all have but equally important to be there to comfort and support those who are not having a great time of it

Each Beanie is a miracle and should be rejoiced in no matter how long they are with us , those who snuggle for a short time in their mummies bellies and those who decide to come out and meet the world .

 

[Left wonderin]

But I agree it major SUCKS that we all cannot be happy together at the one time

 

[rayraykay]

Red that's totally a BFP... I don't even have to squint my eyes to see it. Test again tomorrow! I'm very happy for you. I also know how you feel.... You wanna be happy and excited, but the innocence and fun of early pregnancy or the process of being pregnant is forever gone for us. It will never just simply be something to be happy about. It will be something to be nervous about. I have my 2nd appointment tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I am truly hoping for the best. But it's hard to want to hang onto the hope because I know what can happen. I am hoping this is your sticky bean red, try your hardest to believe it is.

I really wish we could all be happy together. Everyone in this thread deserves it more than anything.

Starry I hope you're doing as good as you can be.. I've been thinking about you.

 

[Left wonderin]

Ray ray best of luck with your appointment tommrow , bet your beanie is snuggling down all warm and cosy keep us posted