On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Left wonderin]

Now that is a beautiful line Red

 

[Carybear]

Beautiful line Red!!! I'm so exited for you...

FX'd for you left.

Starry... You are in my prayers and thoughts

 

[anchor08]

That's a great line, Red. I can identify with so many of the feelings you described about the pregnancy -- not often feeling negative, but more detached, like I'll be excited about it later when it's more certain. Although to be honest, I thought I would be excited when I passed the point of my miscarriage, or when I got a scan, or when I reached 12 weeks...and all of those milestones help, but it's still a choice I have to work on making to relax and bond and be excited about this baby. It does get easier though, hang in there!

 

[Left wonderin]

Anchor happy 12 weeks one day

 

[Starry Night]

Oh Starry this is such a long journey for you I really hope the doctor can help bring you closer to some resolution to your mc . How are you physically feeling ? I sure hope you get to go on the trip and take some time out away from everything . Xxx

Physically, I'm starting to feel rather 'off'. Sometimes I still get loads of preggo symptoms (nausea, sore boobs and awful heartburn) and other times I start to cramp and get pounding headaches. My pelvic area either feels sore or just ill at all times. It's really quite uncomfortable. I'm on the constant lookout for signs of fever or infection. I haven't gotten official word that the baby has died but I figure it must have at this point. I've had some brown spotting but nothing significant yet.

And the emotions are starting to catch up with me a bit. I broke down a few times this morning but had to fight it back so my son wouldn't see.

 

[Starry Night]

anchor - congrats on reaching 12 weeks. That's such a great milestone!

red - the line is getting nice and dark!

Cary - how are you doing? How is your mom doing?

 

[Left wonderin]

Starry gosh it all sounds so awful , no wonder you are breaking down
Surely the docs are monitoring you frequently to make sure you are physically doing ok ? It seems like madness that you have just been left in this unbearable place

I wish there was more I can do , I really feel for you., you are on my mind the whole time . I am keeping you in my thoughts . There is nothing much more than cyber that I can offer I'm afraid xxxxx

 

[Carybear]

Thanks for asking Starry... My mom is slowly getting better. We did have god news... The lymph nodes around the lung came back clear with no cancer in them... She will not need chemo or radiation. Now, as soon as she is healed they will tackle the breast cancer.

AFM... I'm cd13... Another girl announced her pregnancy and surprisingly enough it did not bother me... This past period was the closest I've had to a real period. It was almost 3 full days of bleeding and then another two days of spotting. Maybe my body is getting back on track after the mc...the weirdest thing was that my cervix stayed high and soft throughout the whole period. Now that it is over it is lower and harder.

Never sure with me I've had my tonsils removed twice

 

[Starry Night]

cary - that is such good news about your mother! At least that is one less thing to worry about. And I think I've heard of tonsils growing back. Still strange to think of though. Glad your body seems to be getting back to normal. I have read in numerous places that cervix position really is unreliable. I've had mine go high for AF as well and it has dropped just days before getting a BFP. Never mind that my cervix never dropped when I went into labour with my son. They almost sent me home because of it even though I was 5cm dialated.

 

[Carybear]

Wow! Good thing they didnt send you home... How are you doing? I've really been thinking about you...

 

[Starry Night]

Got a call from the ER doctor that had ordered last week's scan. He officially gave me the results (though the technician had been kind enough to show us). He recommends another scan as the baby had been technically alive. He said I'd probably miscarry but he didn't want me making any kind of decision based off of a "probably". When I see my GP on Wednesday I'll bring that up. I have accepted I will miscarry but I do want to wait until it's "official" before I agree to take anything to speed it up.

What makes things tough is DS is sick. It doesn't seem too bad but colds can take such a turn in little kids. And last time I was miscarrying DS got so sick we had to spend the whole night in the ER. It was tough to hear the doctor discuss pneumonia in your only living child while you're bleeding out the other. He was OK but it was scary as he had been borderline croup. And now I'm stressed again.

 

[Left wonderin]

Starry I completly understand I wouldn't want to make any decision either based on a " probability " . Hope your Ds is feeling better soon , I hate the sound of croup it's very scary ! When little ones are sickly its a very stressful time

 

[Left wonderin]

Cary that WONDERFUL news about your mum you must be over the moon

 

[anchor08]

So good to hear, Cary! It sounds like it will still be a long road ahead, but this is a great step.

Starry, I am so heartbroken about your situation, it must be the worst kind of limbo. I hope your family can get healthy so at least you can focus on your own needs. I hope you're getting very good care and kindness from everyone around you.

 

[RedWylder]

Starry- what Anchor said^^. There's not much we can say but we are feeling for you and thinking of you.

 

[Starry Night]

OK. I *think* things are starting. This morning I woke up to light bleeding. It's still at light bleeding but feeling full and have dull cramps. Just feeling really relieved. Hope it's the actual start.

 

[RedWylder]

OH I hope so Starry. It's no good waiting. At least you'll be able to move on.

 

[anchor08]

How's it going Starry? In the midst of such a difficult event, it is a relief when our bodies start taking care of things. I hope it goes very quickly for you!

 

[Left wonderin]

Had a crap day today was in work and planning dates for meetings in the coming month or two , opened my diary on the 16th of June and there staring at me in big writing with a smiley face drawn was " MATERNITY LEAVE STARTS TODAY " must have written it in after I got edd before mc .... Felt like a kick in the stomach . It took all my strength to stop myself running from the room bawling . It didn't help that there was one very pregnant lady sitting opposite me

 

[anchor08]

I am SO SORRY to hear that, I would have completely broken down. Biggest of hugs to you.