On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Left wonderin]

Thanks Anchor , just having one of those days expecting more of them the closer it gets to my edd

 

[Carybear]

Left sending massive your way.

Starry, how are you?

Anchor... So glad things are going good for you.

I almost bought OPK's today... But I didn't do it! I'm living stress free.... The only problem is that I think not trying is stressing me out more... Lol...

My dreams were all over the place last night. First I dreamed that I was at like a circus. I was trying to get things done but I knew that I needed to be at work. I was So stressed out trying to be in two places. Then, I had a dream that my mom had surgery and they gave her like an ID card with her picture on it. She used this to get her meals. Then, I had surgery but my ID card had a picture of a little boy. His name was Elijah. (Both my husband and I feel that I would have had a boy and that was the name we gave him).. I had surgery and the next day I went to work. I came back to the hospital to eat but they gave me a lot of trouble because the picture was not mine. I had surgery on my wrist and a stitch was loose. So, someone told me to cut it. I did and then there was this gaping hole in my wrist. Blood was pouring out and I couldn't get it to stop. What a weird night!

 

[RedWylder]

Left, I'm sooooo sorry. Hugs!

Cary don't give in! Just try to focus on living.

 

[Starry Night]

Left - that sucks. Due dates are always hard as they're such ugly reminders of what we should be having.

Cary - try the "not trying" for at least the rest of the cycle. If it still stresses you out too much then you can always go back to what you were doing before.

AFM - back in limbo. Usually the light bleeds in my previous m/c's signalled the start was coming within a few days so hope it still will end sometime soon. I feel all dirty inside.

My own angel's due date is coming up really soon--at the end of the month. I was hoping to get away with DH over that time to get over this most recent loss and to distract myself on the due date but with the way this m/c is taking it's sweet time it doesn't look like it will happen.

 

[Carybear]

Starry I wish there was something I could do... Please know that I am praying for you...

 

[Starry Night]

Saw my doctor today and now we have a plan of action. I'm doing a few more rounds of betas over the weekend and if my hcg is going down (which I imagine it is) my doctor said I can request a d&c. I know d&c's come with risks but right now all this stress of waiting is really getting to me! Also, he is going to refer me to a specialist for testing so that means I won't be able to TTC for a long, long while (the wait list here in Canada can be up to a year).

Also, it appears some paperwork never got past the receptionist's desk and I have a blood infection. No wonder I've been feeling so terrible! I'm on anti-biotics for that so hope they kick in soon. Maybe they can kill my cold at the same time.

Having a plan really eases my mind.

 

[Starry Night]

During the appointment the doctor used a doppler to look for a hb. Of course he didn't find anything (would be too early even if things were going well) but I kinda liked it. I pretended this was a normal prenatal visit and I was doing a normal pregnant test. Kinda silly but it made my day.

However, when I went for my beta draw there was a pregnant lady there doing her glucose testing. Why oh why is there ALWAYS a big pregnant lady there when I'm getting hcg tested during a miscarriage????? It's a regular lab so it's not just pregnancy related things being tested. It's so awful!!!

 

[Left wonderin]

Starry its great you have a plan now , I really would love to be able to give you a really big hug in real life xx I hope you are being taken really good care of by those around you xx get some rest and let the anti-biotics do their thing xxxx

 

[Starry Night]

DH is being really awesome. I feel badly because he is working from home to help me but DS can be a handful sometimes and has been sick himself so DH doesn't get much done.

 

[RedWylder]

Same as what left said. We all wish we could be there to supoort you in person but hopefully giving you a place to vent and share is helpings some. And I have no idea why pregnant people seem to populate all the same places that someone who desperately doesn't want to see a pregnant lady is. Its crap. If I ever make it to that stage in a pregnancy I'll look as gross as possible so no one feels jealous. lol

 

[Carybear]

Red you crack me up...

Starry... Glad you have a plan... Vent away....

 

[rayraykay]

Hi ladies-

I'm so sorry it's been awhile. You've all been on my mind.

Cary- I agree with the others. As hard as it is- let life happen for at least a month. Get busy when you want to- and of course definitely do it if you see or feel any signs of ovulation but just let your body do its thang and see what happens. If you do it this month or for a few months and it either doesn't work or doesn't feel right- break out the thermometer and OPKs. remember to try and think positively and trust that your body will do the work (as extremely hard as that is.)

Left- Im thinking of you as your EDD approaches. It's so hard. I'm so sorry. I don't know if this will help you or you'll want to do it or think its dumb but I'm throwing it out there. I wrote my angel a letter about a week ago. I just told the baby how much I love it and how much I wanted it. I will always wonder what my angel would have been like and I will always keep her close to my heart. It was hard to write but oddly enough I felt some relief after I wrote it.

Starry- I'm so sorry this process has been dragging on. I'm also so sorry about your blood infection! I am glad however you got some medicine to help you feel better. I know d&cs have some risks that go along with them but if you have your doctor perform it it's fairly rare for those risks to take place. Your doctor will be very careful and in all likelihood there will not be any complications. It eliminates the waiting period and gets you recovering as soon as possible. The procedure itself is really sad and it's hard to go thru, but they give you medicine that calms your nervous and painkillers for afterwards to make sure your as comfortable as possible. For me- it was the right thing to do. The waiting was making me so anxious. I'm so incredibly sorry you are going thru this. I'm so so sorry.

Red- how are you feeling?

 

[RedWylder]

RayRay! Good to hear from you Lady. I'm feeling ok. I've had some definite ups and downs this week as my impending miscarriage date looms closer. Last night I had an incredibly vivid dream about miscarrying this little one and I thought I had actually miscarried when I woke up. I couldn't shake the bad feeling. Other than that physically I'm doing good, lots of on and off cramping, slightly nauseous off and on, and tired.

 

[RedWylder]

BTW are any of the preggos in this thread interested in starting a thread for "graduates". It would be nice to keep up with everyone without feeling terrible about sharing too much. Eventually we can all leave this thread behind.

 

[rayraykay]

Ah yeah. I hear where you're coming from. Vivid dreams can be a blessing (when they are good) & a curse. Try and remember tho- just because you dream something so matter how real doesn't mean it's happening or is going to happen. It's just your fears coming to light in your dreams. I've also had vivid dreams as well and it's hard. I'd love to talk more in a graduates thread- start one and ill be there. Thinking of you and very happy for your BFP xoxoxo

 

[RedWylder]

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...854637-road-again-graduates.html#post27222927

Our new graduate thread, one day we'll all be there together. Until then, consider me a resident of both threads.

 

[anchor08]

Definitely, thanks for the new thread but I'll stay here too as long as no one minds. You all supported me so much, I want to return the favor. Starry...a blood infection?!! Thank goodness they're finally treating it, and I hope that helps you feel lots better physically. I'm really glad to hear that there's a plan to confirm what's happening and move it forward. As heartbreaking as it is, once we know it's over we need it to really be over!

 

[Left wonderin]

Lol you do know i won't be able to help myself stalking there too lol....

 

[Carybear]

I'm still working on my degree but I will DEFINITELY be stalking until I can join... Lol!

Rayray glad to hear things are going great for you!

Red, hold on... Be strong ... And believe...

I cannot wait to hear all the news as those who are preggo pass many more milestones...

 

[RedWylder]

I won't be leaving here either and you're welcome to stalk but consider yourself warned.