On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Carybear]

I hope this doesn't come across as a bad thing, but it is a little hurtful to move out on those who have been a support throughout your process.

I've read so many threads where people have gotten their BFP, talked about their symptoms, and shared their joys without excluding others who started on the thread with them. I find it a little sad to be excluded because I did not get my BFP... I truly enjoy hearing how things are going and never find it hard to hear a complaint (or several along the way)...

I wish you all the best in your pregnancies and pray for happy and healthy nine months for each and everyone.

 

[RedWylder]

Aww Cary that's what I was afraid of. If everyone would rather we share every annoying pregnancy thing here then I'm sure most of us would do that but having been on the other side, it was more hurtful to have a joyous pregnant lady reminding me of my non-pregnancy. I got the idea because I belonged to a TTC group on facebook. When someone got pregnant they were ceremoniously kicked out into the pregnancy group so that no one would be offended. It's not that we don't want to include you or that we're trying to hurt anyones feelings; it's in fact just the opposite.

 

[Starry Night]

I like some updates but not detailed ones in regards to pregnancy. I just want to know that things are going well or want to be there for the person if there is a scare or concern. But I don't want to know all the shopping details or how many times the baby kicked today, etc.

 

[RedWylder]

I like some updates but not detailed ones in regards to pregnancy. I just want to know that things are going well or want to be there for the person if there is a scare or concern. But I don't want to know all the shopping details or how many times the baby kicked today, etc.

Which is why we would like a place where we can all still be together but not feel worried about sharing. That doesn't mean that ya'll can't stalk if you feel ok about it. And it also doesn't mean that we're leaving this thread.

 

[Left wonderin]

I think its a great idea once everyone knows that they are welcome on both threads and they have the freedom to make an informed choice , I think it was a thoughtful act for us still Tcc but I'm with Cary when she says she enjoys hearing everyone's news and how they are doing

 

[Starry Night]

I'll probably be up to stalking a bit once the physical stuff is all over. Right now it's tough because I'm still technically pregnant and have my baby inside me. I am constantly having dreams where I am either pregnant or holding my December baby in my arms -- it's always a light-brown haired boy. I feel like I should still be part of the club.

Once the physical stuff is all over then I can accept I'm in the WTT/TTC camp again. I'll be angry about it, but I'll have accepted it. I hope. It's kind of hard to predict what your emotions will do.

Right now I'm trying to grasp the idea that I have now twice thought I'd be getting my 2013 baby but now...with having to wait for testing...it could quite possibly be 2015 before my rainbow arrives. That is what is so tough right now. And I'll probably have to give up my dreams of a third or fourth child. Dh is kind of bummed about that too.

 

[Left wonderin]

Well tested with an ic - starkest white I've every seen ! BFN for me 12dpo

Guessing its on to the next cycle when the witch arrives which should be Monday - Wednesday

 

[anchor08]

I'll probably be up to stalking a bit once the physical stuff is all over. Right now it's tough because I'm still technically pregnant and have my baby inside me. I am constantly having dreams where I am either pregnant or holding my December baby in my arms -- it's always a light-brown haired boy. I feel like I should still be part of the club.

Oh Starry, I am so sorry for what you're going through. It's an emotional roller coaster I can't imagine. I always wished I would have a dream about the baby I lost, see what he or she looks like. I still feel that way, because that was a different baby and I really miss him/her. Although I'm sure the dreams make the longing to actually hold your baby even stronger. I guess I don't know what to say, it's so sad.

Well tested with an ic - starkest white I've every seen ! BFN for me 12dpo

Guessing its on to the next cycle when the witch arrives which should be Monday - Wednesday

I'm sorry Left, I was really hopeful about your chart this month. Have some chocolate from me if that's your thing! We're all cheering you on, whether it's a late BFP now or picking yourself up for the next round.

AFM quick update: I had my NT scan yesterday and everything looks good, no markers of chromosomal abnormalities and it's developing correctly so far. We even got a quick 4d peek -- their faces really look like aliens at this point, but it's still amazing!

 

[Starry Night]

Sorry, left.

 

[RedWylder]

Awww that sucks. I'm so sorry Left.

AFM: I had some spotting last night. It freaked me out. I now have a doctor's appt at 12:30 today and will let you know how it goes. I'm hoping the spotting was brought on by my run yesterday and the fact I was super stressed and NOT because I'm miscarrying again.

 

[Starry Night]

Crossing my fingers for your, Red. Spotting in pregnancy seems to be especially common with rainbow pregnancies for whatever reason. Take it easy and hope for the best.

 

[Left wonderin]

Red thinking of you and hoping its good news x

 

[RedWylder]

Betas are 97... I hope sundays number is better. Thats not very high.

 

[Carybear]

Saying a prayer that everything is fine Red....

 

[rayraykay]

Thinking of you red... Xoxoxo

 

[Starry Night]

Thinking of you, Red. It's not the numbers themselves but the increase. I'll be hopeful for you.

 

[RedWylder]

Thanks guys. Ive already bawled my eyes out several times and im exhausted. I have a big test tomorrow and Ive lost most of my motivation to study. I feel like nothing matters righht now. Starry how do you get through this? Im so....angry. I keep asking myself why and theres never an answer.

 

[Starry Night]

I don't know. I just distract myself I guess. I have my trip in a few weeks to look forward to and DH and I are planning a little getaway just for the two of us. We need to reconnect. I've been on bed rest while pregnant and with an impending m/c we can't exactly be "together". Also, I have this bad habit of shutting him out. I honestly don't mean to but I disappear on the computer for long periods of time. It doesn't help that when I'm sick or stressed I can not share a bed with him. He moves around too much and talks and yells in his sleep so it stresses me out more. Also, I like to have the TV on in the background to distract my anxious thoughts and he can't sleep with it. During my son's pregnancy I did not share a bed with him for 6 or 7 months. And this time we have not shared a bed either.

I honestly did not think I'd find myself in the position of recurrent miscarriages. It is still in the realm of the surreal so don't think I'm actually coping. Until the physical is done I'm in "survival mode". In the midst of crisis I buckle down and make sure the things that need to get done get done. I collapse afterwards.

Right now I'm forcing myself not to dwell. I've stopped thinking about the babies I should be having. I'm making myself just seem them as the angels they are. Playing "if only" is way, way too painful. Bitterness sucks so I am trying my hardest not to feed those feelings (because those feelings do come...I just don't want them to stay). The thought I am really, really struggling with is that I can't even TRY for a long time yet.

 

[Starry Night]

I do feel betrayed though. It sucks. Everyone knows I miscarried and I have already gotten loads of free medical advice.

"it was too soon after the last one" (it was five months!! And lots of girls get pregnant before first AF and their babies are fine!!)
"You should take (x) herbal treatment" (I'm not messing with anything without talking to my doctor first)
"You should have a d&c to clean yourself out" (doctors seem reluctant to give them out in my experience so I don't think they prevent future m/c)

I'm wary of the emotional advice I'm about to get. I've already gotten the "it's God's will" and "God's timing". My husband is a pastor and we both have discussed how people who say this don't really understand what it really means that God is in control. We both refuse to believe that God is up in heaven, deliberately killing my babies. And if it wasn't His timing for me to have a baby yet, then why on earth did He let me get pregnant in the first place??? That is implying that we sinned by getting pregnant and He is punishing us and the innocent baby. It's so dumb!! I wish people would think before speaking.

Yes...I have anger too.

 

[Starry Night]

Sorry for the triple post but I am still dreading talking to the in-laws. They were over when we first found out we were expecting and when they left I had said, "next time you see me I'll be big and pregnant" and they responded with "we'll see". GRRRR!!! And the worst of it is they were right!!!! We haven't spoken with them yet because they've been sick and now we are sick but I have told DH we are NOT telling them the next time I'm pregnant until we're well into second tri. They were already telling us to expect the worst when we were pregnant with DS after the first loss, so now we have had 3 miscarriages I can not imagine the "support" we would get from them next time. They make me cry.

They are not mean or trying to intentionally hurt my feelings. But they have such a dour outlook on the world and keep sharing their doom and gloom with us. Blah. I don't understand how anyone can live that way.