On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Carybear]

Starry...

I only have one mc and I feel the same way. I just could never put it into words. I don't understand why, all I know is that God is there! People are so insensitive and I often wish I could turn my hearing off and on at will so i could tune them out.

Feelings are real. If you're angry be angry. If you're sad be sad. The problem is that others don't know how to deal with our feelings and they want us to hide them away and have everything be perfect. The truth of the matter is that we live in a fallen world and everything is not perfect. So ignore those who want to give you any kind of advice and let yourself feel. It is the only way to keep the bitterness away.

I'm thinking about you and praying for you and sending you massive

Red, my heart goes out to you... 97 is not bad and I'm hoping to hear at least a 300 on Sunday. My thoughts are with you!

AFM this weekend is terribly hard for me. I'm trying to get past the fact that I should have been 31 weeks right now and that this should have been an awesome Mother's Day. I'm trying to focus on my mom and how thankful i am that the lung cancer is gone... But this weekend is never easy when you are working in children's ministry.....

 

[Starry Night]

Cary - thanks for that. I didn't realize how much I was bottling in until that 3 post rampage escaped. LOL I really dumped on everyone. It is good to know where your emotions are safe. Most people don't understand so it's useless to share with them.

This weekend is going to be very rough. I think it is lovely that you still work with children and have such a love for them. I can imagine that being around them is tough though. I really hope that by next Mother's Day you will be expecting (or even holding!) your own little child.

 

[Carybear]

Me too.... thanks

 

[Left wonderin]

Cary I would have been 31 weeks on Tuesday coming its so hard not to go there with the would have , should have ... It's hard when you do as for me its when the real sadness and anger hits me . It's impossible not to though from time to time . Xxxxx

 

[Starry Night]

Sounds like we were all due around the same time. I'm really trying not to go there but it's hard not to think about.

And it looks like I'm going to miscarry over Mother's Day. I'm still only having light bleeding but my cramping is picking up. Oh well. At least I saw this miscarriage coming so it's not as bad.

 

[Left wonderin]

We all would have been bump buddies , although it is hard to "go" there ( thinking about the "what ifs " I also think it is important as not to do it somehow feels like its ok to forget about that pregnancy and that baby , moving on and leaving them behind its only right that they are remembered and grieved . So althought it is hard to do and sad I will continue to allow myself the precious moments of the would have and should have been thoughts as they honour a very very precious life , that of my unborn baby x

 

[anchor08]

Starry, I have to say I really appreciated your posts, and I'm sure the other ladies do as well. I find it so helpful to hear others express their feelings about miscarriage...there are so many aspects of it that I find difficult to put into words. I was just talking to a close friend today about the well-meant but hurtful things people say...like "God's will". I firmly believe that miscarriage is NOT God's will -- He brings life, and death in the creative process is not of Him. He comforts us, restores us, heals us, allows us to minister to others out of our grief, etc., but ultimately I believe He grieves with us and suffered for us, and that is my comfort.

That being said, happy mother's day to everyone on here. We are all mothers of the children we have lost, even if not everyone recognizes that. We loved and cared for our babies for the short time they were with us, and we will always remember them.

 

[rayraykay]

Starry I also wanna thank you for the courage it takes to express feelings of miscarriage. People who haven't experienced them really can't speak on the subject. I've had many pregnant friends who are having a successful first pregnancy tell me "now I know how you felt when you miscarried." Well no, actually they don't and I truly hope they never do. I think you hit the nail on the head and I know we all thank you for it. I'm truly sorry you'll be going thru this on Mother's Day. Hold your DH & your DS tight. Let them comfort you. I'm so sorry.

And anchor, you are right. We are all mothers to our little angels. They will forever be in our hearts.

 

[Starry Night]

We're all mothers. In my heart I have 5 children and I believe I will see them one day. I'm glad my words are helpful.

rayray - yeah, the ignorance is kind of annoying but I would never wish it on anyone either. Fearing a miscarriage is NOT the same as going through one.

I try to have grace on those who don't know because I know I had unkind thoughts before I went through a loss myself. I had the sense to not say them out loud but I still thought them. My worst offence was to think that it was silly to count miscarried babies amongst the living children. Looking back I can NOT believe I used to think that!! I always knew miscarriages were sad and considered them deaths so have no idea where that stupidity came from. So I do try to extend some grace even though I wish people would at least keep their opinions to themselves. I don't question their motives but just wish I could slap them and them to shut up. Think what they want, but don't pretend to think they understand.

And I do plan on taking a day to be sad for my Sweet Pea. I totally plan on bawling my eyes out all day on her due date. On the 31st is the anniversary of the day I lost my Lil Peanut (my first baby) so plan on being sad for that too.

 

[Left wonderin]

So well said ray and anchor . Thinking of you all on this Mother's Day ( US ) one anyway not here in Ireland till the 23rd of May

 

[Starry Night]

Canada celebrates Mother's Day this Sunday as well. Probably makes it easier for the card companies.

 

[Left wonderin]

Happy Mother's Day to all in Canada too

 

[RedWylder]

Sorry I've been MIA. I'm trying to stay away and try to be as hopeful as I can until tomorrow's test. I just want to say thank you to Starry to take the time to answer with your heart and put into words the feelings that we all struggle with. Happy Mother's day everyone!

 

[Left wonderin]

RED keeping everything crossed for good news tommrow xx

 

[rayraykay]

Sending you love and good vibes red

 

[Carybear]

Red... fxd for great results today....

AFM I'm having serious pain in my lower right stomach... It goes down into my groin and a little into my leg... like a pressure cramp... It's like tons of pressure... It hurts to pee and it hurts to have a bowel movement... My lower stomach is extremely bloated... For the last couple of days I've gone back and forth between constipation and diarrhea. Walking is uncomfortable but not unbearable... I'm pretty sure it's not appendix... This is right around the time I should ovulate but I've never felt pain like this....usually it is just a pinching pain in one ovary...

 

[Left wonderin]

That doesn't sound right Cary , not that much discomfort . Althought that said every month before o/v I get excruciating pain down my bum into my left leg , makes walking difficult for a day or two

 

[RedWylder]

Why are you "pretty sure" it's not appendicitis? That's not something to mess around with. Keep an eye on it and go into the ER if it gets worse.

 

[Starry Night]

I've heard from friends that they would have never guessed appendicitis because the pain was not too bad. My one friend only went in because she was 9 weeks pregnant. The baby is OK (10 months old now). My other friend never went in at all until AFTER it burst. Miracuously, her body healed it on its own. Her doctor told her he had never seen that in his life before and that somebody "up there" liked her. So yeah, go get checked out. It could even be a bladder infection. I sat on one of those without treatment for over a week and felt awful!! Still recovering.

If you are simply having intense ov pains (sometimes happens to me) then they should subside quickly or after resting.

Red - hoping the best for you!

 

[Carybear]

I've always heard that when its your appendix it hurts more when you let go than when you push... I think it might be gas... But I'm going to wait and see...

I woke up with it around 3 or 4 this morning.,,